What We Have To Give

If generosity builds character, then what is true generosity? And can generosity heal some of the harmful elements of the law? Maybe that depends on what we offer. Maybe it depends on how much we offer. Maybe it depends on the practice of generosity, more than the "what" or the "how much."

Maybe it's a completely personal inquiry and we just know generosity when we see it.

Transcript

Hey everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 355.

And the title of the call is different.

I'm noticing in my notes and what I put in your notice.

I wrote what we have to give.

So that's interesting.

So with the idea of character building in mind,

Just thinking of dipping a little further here into the Paramita of generosity,

Which is the first of the six Paramitas or perfections of mind.

And let's explore generosity with the idea that cultivating generosity is a way of building character.

And also keep in mind that from Norman Fisher's point of view,

We're not so much pointing at achieving a more generous heart or character as we're imagining that possibility and then living in that direction through practice.

So last Sunday,

We had a training session with our MLTT 2022 cohort.

And I see a few folks here who were there.

And so you'll remember.

So we were talking about the middle part of the eightfold path,

Which is wise communication,

Wise action,

Wise livelihood,

What are called the ethical elements.

And they each break down and have elements to them.

And in wise action,

There's just three things to be aware of.

And the first is don't cause any harm.

And the second is don't steal.

And the third is don't engage in sexual misconduct.

And they seem straightforward.

But when we started talking in smaller groups,

We didn't get beyond the first element don't cause harm because what everybody we all noticed and began talking about right away was that there was so much to look at in terms of the harm being caused in the law right now.

And of course,

Much of it is systemic,

Whether we're talking about white supremacy,

The anti-democracy situation in the US,

SCOTUS overturning Roe or blowing up New York's gun controls or eviscerating the EPA.

But not all of the harm is systemic.

Plenty of harm in the law has to do with the way we treat one another.

And so you could,

If you wanted to right now,

Just take a moment and think about the harm that you might have witnessed just mano y mano,

Person to person,

Or even that you've been a party to in your firm,

In your organization,

At your school.

And if you don't see any,

That's really wonderful.

And if you do,

And I know that I do see harm that I've caused and that my firm's caused that my organization,

Even this little organization has caused,

Then be gentle and be nonjudgmental.

Because that's the only way we can see,

And we can't do anything different until we can see.

But we don't want to be judgmental because then at least I get into defensiveness and I go down that path of yeah,

But or justifying.

And so I think it's good to just see,

Be able to see in a nonjudgmental way.

So causing harm to me is the opposite of cultivating generosity,

Which according to the classical texts comes in three types.

So first there's generosity with resources,

Giving money and giving or giving away things.

And the second is giving away the teachings.

And the third is giving safety.

So today let's explore the first one and look at the others next.

Giving away resources.

It's probably something you do.

You probably give away money to a 501c3 or two,

Maybe to political causes,

Maybe to religious or spiritual organizations.

Maybe you also give money to kids or grandkids or nephews or nieces or you donate old clothes or things you no longer need.

There are many ways to be generous with resources and they're all wonderful.

And I think it's important to be glad for whatever generosity we know we have.

And maybe if you are someone with a little bit more resources,

Then we can look more closely to see if we're doing everything we can.

Or maybe it's everything we can and just a tiny bit more,

Just enough to feel like we're giving something up.

Because isn't that true generosity?

And maybe it's a little like pornography.

I think we know generosity when we see it.

Or it's maybe more accurate to say we know it when we feel it.

Can we feel when we're being generous,

When we're giving a little bit more something up?

So in terms of resources,

Time is a resource,

Especially in the law.

And I'm guessing many of us give away time,

Maybe time that we could otherwise be spending making money,

For example.

And maybe another inquiry could be whether we're giving away enough time.

And we don't want to abandon our well-being.

We're not talking about martyring ourselves.

But if generosity involves a tiny bit of sacrifice,

Then maybe that's another way we can explore this paramita by asking whether the time we're giving to whatever good causes we're supporting is enough.

And then this question arises,

What about harm versus generosity,

Which is kind of where I started.

In firms,

The common thread,

As I understand it,

Is an almost exclusive focus on billable hours,

Books of business,

Profits,

Prominence,

Power.

And what might change if law firms were more generous by offering attorneys and staff the same amount of money,

But time to relax,

Time with family,

Time to simply be off the clock?

And in government and public interest,

The motives may be different,

But there's still a kind of built-in relentlessness.

Maybe it's fueled by so much need,

But it's still there.

And what could change if leadership encouraged generosity in the form of time and money for self-care in those settings or in academia,

Where it seems like the focus is almost more on status?

What about an inquiry about status-seeking and profit seeking and whether they're different and how generosity could shift things there?

So here we are.

We're in that imaginal realm,

Just where Norman Fisher is encouraging us to be and to practice,

Imagining what a generous law firm might look like,

Could look like,

Or a generous public defender's office or a generous legal aid office,

And then imagining the way those institutions would get there.

And really,

When we think about that,

What comes to mind for me is it's by the people who work there.

It's by the people who run them,

Which is all of us and all of our colleagues.

So giving time and money and other resources or more time and money and resources,

Because plenty of us are doing this already,

Towards the well-being of everyone at the firm or organization and to shifting cultures of harm into cultures of generosity.

So giving time and money and resources in an amount we could really feel.

Here's the slide that I had picked.

Not as overwhelming or as deeply painful,

But definitely as making a difference.

So I've often wondered what it's like for people who can give huge resources and not feel any pinch at all that they have that much.

And maybe it still feels great,

And maybe it still builds character.

I know when I give just a little bit more time,

A little bit more money,

A little bit of something than is completely easy for me to give,

And it's to ease someone else's suffering,

Then it feels like it's a good thing.

It feels like a good building block of character.

And the reason I'm suggesting this as an inquiry is because I do hope we can all look at generosity of resources without any judgment.

It reminds me of the instruction,

Begin the meditation now,

Which were the words of my very first teacher,

My very first meditation teacher,

In my very first meditation ever.

And I'm thinking of them in terms of generosity these days.

Can I give just a little bit more than is completely comfortable beginning now?

So whatever I've done or not done in the past is just that.

It's just the past.

And without any judgment about that past,

What ways of being truly generous with resources,

With time and money and other resources,

Can all of us think of and do right now?

So that is the question,

The inquiry for today.

And with that,

Let's sit together.

So finding a comfortable posture,

Being generous with yourself,

With your body right now,

Making sure that you have comfort and relaxation at whatever level is available to you.

Maybe recognizing that you are already being generous towards yourself by giving yourself just these few minutes to sit,

Bringing up some gladness,

Bringing up some gladness for that.

Gladness that you are giving yourself this time and also gladness that you're able to do that,

That we are all able to do that and to be together in this strange but kind of wonderful online way.

Thank you.

Locating the breath or the sounds in your environment as an object of awareness and just resting the attention there.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm trying some way in which you were generous in the most recent past,

Even something very small.

And recalling the feeling of generosity.

What did it feel like?

Is it even possible to locate the feeling of generosity in the body?

And if so,

Where?

Is it in the heart?

Is it in the belly?

In the hands?

Several of you here today,

We know each other really well and I know that you are really generous people and notice if anything gets in the way of noticing your own generosity.

I should be doing more.

I wish I hadn't done that.

Thank you.

Just taking this little tiny brief amount of time to see what happens when we pay attention to generosity,

Getting interested in it.

As a practice.

As Norman says it's a practice.

Part of the practice of course noticing generosity when it comes up and how it feels.

And then letting go of the inquiry and just taking one or two breaths.

Conscious breaths and fluttering open the eyes if they've been closed.

Thank you so much everyone for being on the wake up call today.

It's lovely to sit with you.

Take good care and have a good and safe weekend.

And I'll see you next Thursday.