You've already lost it.
You've snapped at someone or you've been arguing with an email in your head for 20 minutes.
Then most of us we add a second problem.
We take the lapse that we've had as proof that our day is now officially ruined.
And then we stay out of tune with ourselves until bedtime.
This is one passage.
In another talk,
I.
.
.
Discussed the flinch.
Naming the first jolt in your body.
Today is what you do once it's already carried you off.
Here's Marcus Aurelius,
Book 6,
Section 11.
George Long's translation.
When thou hast been compelled by circumstances to be disturbed in a manner,
Quickly return to thyself,
And do not continue out of tune longer than the compulsion lasts,
For thou wilt have more mastery over the harmony by continually recurring to it.
Look at what he expects.
To be disturbed.
This is a man with years of practice and an empire to run,
And he still assumes that he'll be knocked out of tune.
His instruction is simply to come back quickly.
And the last line is the training point.
Mastery comes from continually recurring,
Returning over and over again.
Think of a musician.
They don't stay in tune by never drifting.
They notice the drift and then retune again and again.
And each retune makes the next one quicker.
So every time you come back,
That is the wrap.
The lapse is where the practice happens.
This is the gap again,
The step between what happens and what you do next,
Except now you're reopening it after it has closed.
The practice is called the reset.
I use four letters as the handle.
S-P-Q-R.
That's my own shorthand,
Not an ancient formula,
But each step comes straight from the Stoics.
S stands for stop.
Just stop whatever you're doing,
Right here,
Right now,
For just a moment.
P stands for pause.
Take one slow breath.
Feel your feet on the floor,
Be mindful.
Q stands for question.
What am I telling myself about this right now?
And R stands for reframe.
What is actually here?
What is up to me?
What is within my control?
And does this really matter?
The trigger is the moment that you notice that you're out of tune.
You've snapped or you're spiraling or you've been ranting in your head.
The instruction is this.
Run the reset once.
It takes less than a minute.
And today's rep is one reset.
Put a mark next to yesterday's tick.
Tonight,
One question.
Did I come back to this once?
Yes or no?
Marcus didn't plan on staying in tune at all times.
His plan was to come back when he was out of tune and that's the whole skill and it grows stronger and stronger with every rep that you do.
SPQR.
Stop.
Pause,
Question,
Reframe.
Try and get one rep today.
Go well.
