Practical Strategies To Say "So Long" To Burnout

What IS burnout? More importantly, what are the symptoms of burnout—how do you know you’re burnt out? Learn the difference between busy and fulfilled and the power of intentional breathing! Get intentional with your time, figure out what are you saying “yes” to, and more.

Transcript

Welcome to Mindset Reset Radio where we're on a mission to help millennials get intentional in life,

Business,

And career with practical advice and real stories of living with intention,

The good,

The bad,

And lots of the ugly.

I'm your host Jess and my goal is to flip your perspective on what's possible with the help of the amazing intention getters I get to have as guests.

Join my community on Instagram at Jessica Tiefels so we can keep these conversations going while supporting one another to stay intentional every day.

And finally,

If you love this podcast,

Please subscribe,

Share,

And review.

I would greatly appreciate it.

I am super stoked to bring you today's guest,

Jennifer Shaw,

A friend of mine,

Doctor of physical therapy,

And the founder of Natural Wellness Tips.

Welcome Jen.

How are you?

Hey Jess,

I'm great.

How are you?

I'm good.

I'm so happy to have you because I was on Jen's podcast.

I recorded that with you when I was,

I think I was in Vietnam.

So yeah,

It was a long time ago.

So I'm super excited to have you on my podcast now.

Yeah.

Tell listeners what you do.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

I'd love to.

So as she mentioned,

I'm a doctor of physical therapy.

Kind of give you a little backstory on how I got to where I am today.

Three weeks into my physical therapy career,

I was actually hit by a car while riding my bike and I suffered a spinal cord injury,

A brain injury,

A brain stem injury,

And kind of what I like to refer to as all the other back injuries.

I was,

Um,

Listened to Western medicine for about eight months,

Took all the pills,

Got all the injections.

And at the end of eight months,

The head of neurosurgery for one of the large hospital systems here in San Diego told me that I would be dependent on medication for the rest of my life.

I cried for a night.

I woke up the next morning,

I put all my meds in a shoebox and I said,

No way,

I'm going to find another way.

And that was how I began my road,

My,

You know,

Road less traveled of natural health and wellness.

I started trying all the things and really seeing what worked for my body.

I was really reluctantly introduced to essential oils about five years after my accident,

Five and a half years.

And I remember telling the girl,

I was like,

I'm going to try these just to prove you wrong.

And within six weeks of using them,

I was pain free for the first time in five and a half years.

And then I was like,

Oh my God,

These are amazing.

And I told her how amazing they were.

And she's like,

You should do it as a business.

And I was like,

Never going to happen.

So six months later I started an essential oil business.

And I,

You know,

Built the business large enough that I was able to replace my physical therapy income.

I was able to leave my career and really build this bigger dream of helping people live their healthiest and happiest lives.

And I do that through my direct sales business with doTERRA essential oils and through my group and one on one consulting with Natural Wellness Tips.

And it's just,

It's such an honor and blessing that this road led me the way it did and I wouldn't change it for the world.

There's so much intention in every single step of the story to starting with saying,

Fuck no,

I'm not going to be on meds the rest of my life.

Like I'm not doing this.

I'm getting intentional about finding a solution myself.

And then actually testing the oils and then building that into this business that you have.

It's an incredible story.

Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Great.

My pleasure.

And then the next story for what we want to talk about today,

Which is burnout and so many of us are experiencing burnout.

I mean,

Even in COVID,

Like news burnout for crying out loud and people feeling like they need to be productive every second of the day,

Even if they're not working.

And just because you're at home doesn't mean that you're not burning yourself out.

So I'm really excited to talk about this because it's a life issue.

It's a COVID issue.

We need to figure it out and understand it.

So tell me like,

Can you define like what burnout is?

I suppose maybe we could start there.

Yeah,

I think it's really an interesting topic.

And it's something that we all experience at different times in our lives in different ways,

Right?

And we're kind of taught to function and burnout in childhood even.

But so the definition of burnout is the reduction of a fuel or substance to nothing through use of combustion.

So basically,

It's that whole idea of burning the candle at both ends.

We've heard that it's going so hard with such consistency that we run out of fuel.

So our body only has so much fuel,

So much energy,

And then it actually stops functioning properly.

And we live in this society where it's like,

The harder I work,

The better,

The less I sleep,

The better.

The more I work out,

The better.

Like everything's more and more and more and more and more.

The more money I have,

The better.

And it's not the real truth.

It's not.

And when we can step back and actually pause and figure out what we're doing with our day and with our time and get really intentional with our time is when we can prevent burnout.

So to me,

Burnout is when we've lost sight on our inner peace,

On our inner hell to check a bunch of boxes for society.

Oh,

Man.

I mean,

I can probably guarantee every person listening right now has experienced that in some capacity.

Work,

Family,

Personal even.

I was feeling burned out from doing my personal development work.

I remember before we left in 2019,

I was exhausted.

I was doing all the things.

I was working with three different coaches.

I was seeing a therapist.

I was doing the homework.

And I definitely was feeling like I was losing sight of even me in all of this.

I'm like,

Who am I trying to become?

Who am I right now?

And that burnout was miserable.

And I had to step back.

So what are the dangers of burnout then?

Well,

No,

You know what?

I don't want to go there.

I want to start first with the symptoms.

So how do people recognize that they're burned out?

Funny you paused and brought that back because I was going to say before we go there,

I want to talk about how we know we're burned out.

It's such a powerful thing to quiet down and listen to yourself.

And we don't do that in our society enough.

I actually spent a long time asking people that like,

How comfortable are you when I get to know someone?

Like if I start dating someone or I'm interested in someone,

I literally ask them like,

How comfortable are you sitting in quiet all by yourself?

Like I want to know.

Like that is the most intriguing thing to me.

Yeah,

Because few people are.

Because few people can do it.

But really burnout to me when you,

The symptoms of it are when you're not reaching your goals,

So you try harder.

So you're not able to lose weight.

So you're trying throwing more and more things at it,

Right?

You're not reaching your work goals.

So you're just working harder and harder and harder at it.

You're not reaching your relationship goals.

So you're working harder and harder and harder at it.

Or you're in avoidance mode.

You're not reaching your,

Any of those goals,

So you're avoiding the conversation around them and what needs to be done.

So I think a lot of times those are kind of the bigger symptoms that we see.

But then personally within our bodies,

Some of the things that we experience with burnout physiologically are elevated blood pressure,

Difficulty sleeping,

Elevated heart rate,

Tightness in the chest.

You'll actually experience a lot of times difficulty with weight management,

Low energy.

So you're feeling just drained all the time.

You feel like no matter what you do,

You can't get enough energy.

No matter how much you sleep,

You can't get enough energy.

No matter how much caffeine you drink,

You can't get enough energy.

This overall feeling of not enough,

That to me is the physiological and the emotional experience of burnout.

Absolutely.

I 100% agree.

And the one thing I'll add to that is something I've noticed for myself,

Which is I know I'm burned out when I'm doing something that I would normally really enjoy and I hate it.

Or it feels more like with the personal development.

I love doing that.

And all of a sudden it just felt like a chore.

I just couldn't give myself to it anymore.

I didn't like dealing with it.

And that was my sign that I was like,

Girl,

You need to pull back and you need to just like take a breather.

So I love that.

And I think it's interesting to bring up stuff like elevated blood pressure because maybe you're not noticing,

You're not aware enough to pick up the signs of burnout in your everyday life.

But there's something about seeing your doctor and having those symptoms,

Signs and symptoms come up.

And instead of taking the medication they give you for high blood pressure,

You maybe step back and reassess that perhaps that's coming from something in your personal life or work.

Would you agree with that?

100%.

Yeah.

We are taught in our society that overwhelm is normal.

Oh,

Well,

That's just life.

You're just busy.

That's life.

That's not life.

Living that way is horrible.

It is a cruel form of punishment.

You're putting yourself in a type of jail and it doesn't need to be that way.

I often get told by people that I'm,

Well,

Pre-quarantine life,

I got told by people that I was always so busy.

And I always would pause and say to people,

I'm not busy.

I'm structured and I'm very intentional with my time.

Because it's very different.

It's very different.

I used to be busy.

I used to be busy working a full-time PT job,

Two part-time PT jobs,

Running my household,

Trying to stay fit,

Sleeping six hours a night,

Constantly on the go from the minute my alarm went off in the morning until I finally laid my head down at night.

I used to be busy and that was when I was extremely burned out.

And like we had mentioned,

Some of the things that I noticed were I was constantly tired.

I was constantly stressed.

I couldn't lose weight.

My heart rate was elevated.

My blood pressure was higher than it used to be.

All of these things.

You have to just really pause and say,

Why?

Why are these things happening this way for me?

What helped you?

Because I feel like a lot of people are probably listening thinking,

If that's normal for everyone else,

Where does the awareness come from to recognize that that's not normal?

How did you come to realize like,

Shit,

I'm really burned out.

This is not a normal way of being.

Was it something someone said to you?

Was it a practice that you have?

Tell us how you got to that realization.

It was a journey.

It was a journey.

And it was a lot of self-reflection,

Which is not fun.

It's so hard to self-reflect.

It's so hard to look in,

But it all started with breathing.

So according to the American Institute of Stress,

The number one stress reducer is to breathe.

Normal enough.

We breathe all day every day,

But we do it unconsciously or subconsciously,

Not unconsciously,

Subconsciously.

Same difference.

So we breathe because it keeps us alive,

But we don't breathe to breathe life into ourselves unless we're super intentional with it.

Very few people I know in this world pause throughout the day and take breaths.

Before I do anything in the morning when I wake up,

I roll over,

I kind of look at what time it is.

I'm like,

Okay,

It's time to get up.

I literally roll back over,

Close my eyes,

And I breathe.

I breathe.

I fill my lungs.

I fill my belly.

I scan my body.

I do my affirmations and my little meditation,

And I just clear my mind and get it started on a really clean slate.

And I breathe.

I just breathe before I even do because breathing comes first.

And I was actually just working with this handstand guru.

She's amazing.

And she was teaching me how to breathe in my handstand.

She's like,

You just have to learn to be in your handstand.

It shouldn't be any harder than standing on your feet.

And I was like,

Huh,

That's amazing.

If you guys look at my Instagram,

You'll see how much I like being upside down.

But anyway,

We need to breathe.

So the biggest thing you can do to begin this journey is to begin breathing with intention.

Set an alarm on your phone and do it a couple times a day.

Start your morning by breathing.

End your night with breathing.

And it doesn't have to be anything like really,

The person laying in bed next to you doesn't even need to know you're doing it.

It's about closing your eyes and consciously recognize the breath coming in through your nose,

Down your lungs,

Into your belly,

And back out.

It's about taking 10 breaths like that.

No one needs to know you're doing it.

I swear to God,

You can do it with someone in bed next to you,

And they will have no idea.

It's so powerful.

It all starts with breathing for me.

And I think if we can come back to that simple thing,

It's so powerful.

So Eckhart Tolle has this quote that I love.

Be aware of your breathing.

Notice how it takes attention away from your thinking and creates space.

So to me,

It's the key to bringing yourself to the present,

To creating space in your mind and in your body.

I love that.

And what I really love is the idea of whether or not you think you're burned out right now,

Start.

Start breathing with intention.

Start putting these practices in place so when and if that does come,

You can pick up on that awareness and start making intentional decisions for how you're going to move past the burnout.

I love that.

So breathing,

Breathing and having that bring the awareness to the burnout.

Is there any other things you can think of that maybe were key for you in sort of stepping into the realization of burnout?

The other thing that was big for me was getting really clear on the 24 hours of my day.

Who had access to me?

When they had access to me?

It's a big encompassing thing,

But who was in my life?

Why were they in my life?

Were they adding to my life?

Were they taking away from my life and being really intentional with my time?

So when I work with my one-on-one clients,

A lot of times they come to me because they want to get healthy.

They want to lose weight.

They always laugh at me because the first month we work together,

I'm working on getting really clear habits for them.

And then the second month is all about mastering their schedule.

And it's funny.

They're like,

I want to lose weight.

I'm like,

Yeah,

You're going to.

I know.

Chill out.

Like you can't do that with all of this because we have to get the stress under control.

So when we look at our schedules,

Most of the time we look at our schedules reactively.

We look at the schedule in the morning and we're like,

Oh crap,

I have to do all that today.

So instead of looking at the schedule and saying,

I'm in charge of you,

You are simply a schedule on my phone.

I have the capacity to change you.

I have the capacity to cancel appointments.

I have the capacity to say yes or no to things.

So learning what you're saying yes to,

Learning what you're saying no to is really powerful.

So there's a lot that goes into kind of finding this charge with our schedules,

Like really learning how to master our schedules.

If you guys want to read a really good book on it,

The 12 week year is an exceptional book on structuring your schedule.

But just for today's sake,

I want to talk about what we say yes to because when we say yes to something,

We naturally say no to something.

So when you say yes to something,

Something crosses your path and it's an opportunity.

It's a social gathering.

It's whatever it is in your life.

We have to say yes to things.

We have to say no to things.

But when it comes to you,

The first thing you should say to yourself is,

Okay,

Why am I saying yes to this?

Am I saying yes to this?

Because for me,

Am I saying yes to this to make somebody else happy?

And granted,

Sometimes I say yes to things to make my mom happy because my mom deserves that and she raised me to be an amazing woman.

So if my mom wants me to do something that isn't super fun to me,

But I know it's going to make her day,

I'm going to say yes to it.

So it's okay sometimes to say yes for other people,

But not necessarily if it's Joe Schmo and he's taking advantage of me and I'm saying yes just to make him happy.

That's not where we should be saying yes.

So why am I saying yes to it and for who am I saying yes to it for?

The second thing I always ask myself is,

Is this an opportunity I've been looking for?

So those of you in business,

This is a really important thing and I learned the hard way and I still sometimes do when I chase squirrels.

But when the opportunity crosses your path,

You say,

Is this something I'm really looking for?

Like the example of starting a podcast,

You might be like,

This sounds super fun.

Jess has been talking about starting a podcast for over a year and she was finding the right intention to do it with.

So she didn't just whimsically decide to start a podcast.

It might seem that way,

Right?

But she put a lot of thought and care into it and she waited till it was the right opportunity for her.

So is it an opportunity you're looking for?

The third thing is you need to look at your schedule and say,

When I'm looking at my schedule,

Does this opportunity stress me out or does it feel safe and comfortable in my schedule?

So for instance,

Like this podcast,

I looked at my schedule and said,

Oh my God,

I'm so excited to be on Jess's podcast.

Let me look at my schedule.

Oh wait,

I'm stuck at home.

I'm safe at home.

Let me reframe.

I'm safe at home and I have an open social calendar.

I have plenty of time to record this podcast and I don't feel stressed about it.

Yes.

Right?

So going through those steps before you say yes to something is going to get really clear on what makes it into your schedule,

Who makes it into your schedule.

So that was another learning curve for me is I had to walk away from certain quote unquote obligations and situations in my life.

I actually did have to walk away from some people in my life.

A hard truth is that sometimes the people in your life are the ones holding you back from finding peace.

And in those cases,

When someone isn't cultivating a safe environment for you,

It is important to walk away.

And I,

And I did that.

I went through a pretty intense divorce and I found myself in the process.

So that's not what everyone has to do,

But that was my journey.

Absolutely.

And I feel like the even deeper level of all of that is knowing what you want.

If you don't even know what you're moving toward,

How do you say yes or no to things?

I love the point I agree of if it stresses you out.

But taking that one level deeper is what do I actually want right now?

What matters to me or what matters to my business?

Do I take this client or are they just going to stress me out?

Or am I overloading my plate for something that doesn't actually matter for my business?

So I love all of those layers.

And it's fascinating to see how the people that I talk to,

The amazing people that I talked to on this podcast and who are in my life,

To see the levels of intentionality that we need to bring into our lives to not only move toward what we want,

But to,

For example,

Reduce burnout or make sure that we're choosing things that make us happy and less stressed.

And pulling all those pieces together is so key.

So I love that you brought in the level of the to-do list and that you're the master of it because I think that's critical.

So many people feel like they're at the whim of,

For example,

Their work calendar.

It's like,

You're the master of that.

Say no if you want to say no.

You know?

No.

Yeah.

Or here's another example that I see this a lot is like when you work for yourself scheduling appointments with clients.

Don't give a time and a date that doesn't work for you.

It's so simple just to give them what works for you.

And there's so much fear,

I think,

Around saying no.

And so much fear around choosing yourself because you want to be so available.

It's that over availability that burns you out.

So something as simple as saying,

I can only do these 3 days.

And then if you have to compromise,

Compromise.

But start with what works best for you and then go backward from there.

Take steps from that place.

Set up your perfect environment and then go from there.

So good.

So good.

I love that you brought up that vision,

That why,

Knowing where you're going.

Have you spent time.

.

.

The first thing I do with any of my clients when they get started with me is we get really clear on our vision.

And we write it out for where we want life to be.

Like in 5 years,

Most of them people have trouble dreaming.

But getting super clear on that is so powerful and definitely something that's worth spending time on and something that I love helping people on.

So if you get stuck with it,

I'd love to help you for sure to create that vision.

But I always come back to this Stephen Covey quote.

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage pleasantly,

Smilingly,

Unapologetically to say no to other things.

And the way to do that is to have a bigger yes for inside.

We have to have a yes and it has to be so powerful for us.

Yes.

Yes.

That's a big yes for me.

I talk about that in my book as well because that why is your guiding force.

So when you know what you want,

It's so much easier to say yes to the things that work for you.

And my literally life motto is every choice we make gets us closer to or further from where we want to go.

So from that very simple place is the choice you're making getting you closer to with excitement or maybe some stress that's reasonable or is it getting you further from which could be adding stress because you're yet again making a choice that's taking you away from what you know you really want.

So yes on the why.

Yes on the breathing.

Yes on mastering your to-do list.

I love all of it.

Jen you're so brilliant.

I'm so grateful to have you here.

My pleasure.

Thank you so much.

You're so welcome.

So okay practical tips for reducing the burnout.

So we've talked about recognizing the burnout with breath and sort of recognizing your schedule.

And I guess we can sort of mold some of that into practical strategies but maybe let's just line up a few practical strategies for reducing burnout.

So I guess we also talked about saying no knowing your no's and yeses.

What else can we add to that list for listeners?

I think the first most important thing to do is to admit that you're in burnout.

And until you're willing to admit that you're overwork overwhelmed and in burnout nothing's going to change.

So spend some time really deciding if you really think you're in burnout and what that feels like for you.

Right.

And once you do that you need to get the next thing you need to do is get really clear on what you want your life to look like.

If you close your eyes and picture your absolute perfect day what does it look like?

Who's in it?

What are you doing?

Like how do you feel?

What do you smell?

You have to get really clear on that.

So knowing where you're going and why you're working towards it and then you need to start really small and intentionally.

So you need to start changing your habits one habit at a time.

Your habits will make you or break you depending on what they are.

So they need to start changing and they need to start changing slowly.

So you need to prioritize the habits that I think need to change are learning to say yes and no to things with more clarity.

Masks like getting in charge of your schedule and prioritizing your sleep.

Making sure you're drinking enough water.

Making sure you're working out and moving your body.

It doesn't have to be intense workouts.

Right.

But you need to layer those things on slowly.

Making sure you're feeding your body healthy food and something I always teach my clients is eating within a 10 hour window.

I could do a whole episode on that so we're not going to go down that rabbit hole right now.

But these are the keys.

So slowly layering in I'm going to make eight hours of sleep a priority for me.

So I'm going to focus on trying to do that three nights a week,

Five nights a week,

Seven nights a week.

You know then you know I'm not going to eat past seven for three nights a week,

Five nights a week,

Seven nights a week.

So you slowly layer these things on so that by the end of the year your life looks completely different.

Right.

So it's all about intentional actions to change your day to day life.

Yes.

And not burning yourself out by trying to do it.

I'm totally that mindset and my coach tells me all the time he's like,

Okay,

We want you to move toward this but you don't need to A plus it on the first day.

You know what I mean?

You don't need to burn yourself out trying to perfect it right away.

Take your time.

Ease into it.

And if you have that sort of type A personality like I do,

It's so easy.

Okay,

I'm going to make like,

I know so many people who say like,

I'm going to change my life right now.

I'm going to start eating healthy and I'm going to sleep better and I'm going to stop drinking.

And it's like,

Well,

Of course that's only going to work for a week because you're exhausting yourself.

You can't jump in feet first right away.

You're going to burn yourself out and you're going to be right where you started.

So I want to know my daily habits.

They're like,

What are your habits?

What do you do in a day?

Like what are the things that you've changed?

And I'm like,

If I tell you all the healthy things I do 10 years into my journey,

You will be overwhelmed.

So we're not,

We're not,

We're not starting the beginning of your journey to compare to where I am in mind 10 years later.

That's not fair for anyone.

So you need to stop the comparison.

You need to start small.

You need to take those baby steps and you need to be okay with it.

That's what my clients always come to me and they're like,

Like I said,

I'm going to lose weight.

So I joined the gym.

I'm going seven days a week,

Two hours a day.

I'm going to only eat spinach for the rest of my life.

And you know,

Like I'm taking these weight loss pills and I'm going to do it all.

And it doesn't,

It doesn't work.

You need to change your lifestyle and you change your lifestyle by changing your habits with intention.

I love that.

All about that intention,

Moving toward what you want and finding what works for you.

Absolutely.

Well,

Jen,

This has been super duper helpful.

First of all,

Do you have any last little tidbits on preventing burnout or getting out of burnout that you didn't get to mention that you wanted to share with us?

Give yourself grace.

Give yourself grace.

You didn't become the way you are overnight.

You will not change who you are overnight.

So you learned by society to live in a state of burnout.

You will not change that overnight.

You need to go slow and you need to know that when you try to change the people around you that are affected by your change will sometimes not be happy about it.

And that is okay as long as you are not doing harm to anyone or yourself.

So just be okay with the uncomfortable parts of this journey,

But be graceful with yourself.

Yes,

I love that.

That's one of my favorite things to remind myself of.

I love the be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

No less than the moon and the stars.

That's one of my favorite,

Favorite quotes from a much longer poem.

Beautiful.

Tell me now,

As I like to ask all of my incredible guests,

What's your most recent intention getter story?

What are you getting intentional about right now?

Mine is super funny.

But I have a lot of the healthy habits really on lock.

It's kind of what I do for a living and it's kind of the lifestyle.

It's the lifestyle I live,

Right?

But the thing I really focus my intention on and having a daily practice on is my handstands.

I love it.

And it's been so fun.

I'm putting the daily work in,

I'm asking the experts,

I'm hiring the experts to help me.

I'm really understanding the anatomy of handstands because I'm Dr.

PT,

I need to understand that side of it.

And I'm getting intentional with them.

Instead of saying I want to get better at them,

I'm saying what can I do each day to get better at them.

And that's been a really fun journey.

I love it.

And I love that you bring that up because living with intention doesn't have to be hard.

It doesn't have to be stressful and frustrating.

It can be super fun just by doing things that you love.

Getting intentional about doing things that you love is literally the journey I'm on as we speak.

Doing things just for fun,

Just because I enjoy doing it.

That's what this podcast is.

I just enjoy talking.

So why not bring people on and let's talk about getting intentional.

So that's beautiful.

Thank you for sharing.

Finally,

How can our listeners get in touch with you?

Absolutely.

So one of the best things is check me out on my podcast.

Jess has been on it.

You can listen to her episode,

Natural Wellness Tips.

You can also find me over on Instagram at Natural Wellness Tips.

And then TikTok,

If you're into that,

Jen knows Oils is my TikTok handle.

And I've got all the oil tips over there.

So super fun stuff.

Check me out and say hi when you come over there.

Send me a message.

Yes,

Definitely.

I just started trying out TikTok as well.

So I'll have to find you on there and be friends because I don't think I have any friends yet.

Well,

Thank you so much again,

Jen.

And thank you all the listeners who are here.

I will see you on the next episode of Mindset Reset Radio.