Soul Care As An Act Of Self-Love

When stuck in overwhelm and exhaustion, is self-care really enough? What would it take to thrive and feel alive? This talk shifts the focus from self-care to soul care. Spiritual wellness strategies are offered as a loving practice of soul care.

Transcript

I felt inspired today to share a talk on soul care.

We talk a lot about self-care and sometimes that's just not enough.

You know,

Being able to sleep enough hours and exercise regularly and eat the right meals is great,

But it really doesn't tend to our spirit and there's so much happening in the world,

In our families,

In our community,

In our nations that can dispirited us,

That can kind of knock us down,

Drain us of our energy.

And sometimes there's so much pressure we put on ourselves that we don't give enough intention to filling up our tank with premium fuel that can keep us going,

That can sustain us.

I'm curious,

How much of these would you check off right now?

Well,

It is okay to care,

But just don't carry.

Living an unfulfilling life can lead to regret and resentment,

As well as increased conflict and discordance in all types of relationships.

So setting boundaries is one act of self-love,

But so is self-care and soul care.

And I wanted to share my thoughts on the difference of that.

See,

I started to distinguish the difference between self-care and soul care when I was working in social services for a government corporation in particular.

Often others were just not finding the known strategies of eating well,

Sleeping enough,

And exercising regularly,

Effective in alleviating the kind of stress that we were under.

Many of my coworkers became disillusioned about being able to help others and just running on adrenaline and medication to boost us and get us through the day.

For myself,

I just kept pushing to get everything done and make everyone happy while neglecting my own needs.

So when trying to find ways to cope,

I found that the missing link in self-care was the conscious connection to our divine being.

I mean,

We are spiritual beings having this human experience,

So doesn't it make sense to focus on spiritual wellness as an act of self-care and self-love?

Self-awareness taught me that I had the inner reserves to deal with difficult situations.

I just needed to shift my focus from all the external stimuli and tap into those inner strengths.

Soul led me to keep my inner light alive,

Ignited,

Motivating me to find purpose and passion for my work again.

I know that many people have issues taking time for self-care as they're either too focused on others to find the time,

Or they fear that their loved ones will see them as being selfish or all about me.

When in fact,

If you are powerful,

That is full of spirit and pure energy and in tune with your higher self,

You can give so much more to others.

You start to follow the path that's both nourishing and productive for you.

You can see how that nourishment and productivity can align,

That you learn to come from a place where productivity,

What you do,

What you produce can be nourishing,

And then the ways that you nourish yourself can also be very productive.

You give the best of you,

Not the tired,

Cranky,

Let's just get this done version of you.

So let me ask you,

Are you still just trying to survive or are you willing to thrive?

I like what Macrina Whittaker explains in the seven sacred pauses.

She says,

Our days are frenetic,

Filled with activity.

Although some of this is nourishing and replenishing,

Much of it is draining and numbing.

All of this takes a toll on the soul.

I don't have time has become a frequent part of our dialogue.

And we find ourselves multitasking just to get through the day with any sense of accomplishment.

Wouldn't you agree with that?

I mean,

How many times have I heard people say that they're crazy busy,

They have so much on their plate right now.

When we have so much on our plate,

And we just keep filling it up,

There's more than we can take in.

There's more that we can really digest and integrate.

And it's so important to take that time to rest and digest.

I'm guilty of it myself.

And I just recently learned that I was tuning into my natural rhythm of wanting to,

I just feel drained,

Usually midday,

Like around 2,

2pm to 3pm.

It turns out on the Chinese biological clock that 2 to 3pm is the perfect time to be taking a nap,

That it's a time for resting and digesting.

So that awareness has brought me to accept the fact that we have the seven flow and to start making time for that to start taking off some time,

A little bit at a time to just rest and to digest and I'm noticing how much that means to me and my body and my soul and on every level that regulates my emotions and my mood.

And it's just been amazing.

So do you resonate with that?

That being too busy to engage in any kind of self-care or soul care,

And just trying to get through the day in one piece?

So do you remember Abraham Maslow from the 50s?

He saw self-care from a higher perspective,

And I really liked his outlook.

He was well known for his hierarchy of needs.

Does anybody remember that pyramid?

So it really focused first on the foundation of the physiological needs of safety,

And then love,

Self-esteem and self-actualization.

And then actually a decade or so later,

There was more needs added,

The cognitive needs to tend to our mental health,

The aesthetic needs,

The beauty that surrounds us and transcendence that was also added and became more of a goal for enlightened wellness.

But society tends to focus more on the esteem needs,

The ego self that's concerned with achievement,

Mastery,

Independence,

Status,

Dominance and control,

Prestige,

And then also respect for ourselves and others.

And I found that that perspective really created a fear-based motivation.

It drives us from not wanting to appear deficient or incompetent.

It directly feeds into the belief that I'm not good enough,

Or I'm not worthy,

Or it creates an imposter syndrome,

Right?

Who are we to want time for ourselves or to focus on nourishment or to even be able to be a full expression of who we are?

So what are some of the differences in taking care of ourselves versus taking care of our soul?

Okay,

So I've been mentioning self-care focuses on exercise,

Eating well,

Sleeping right,

Taking care of our basic hygiene.

In essence,

We're trying to control our body's rhythms and functions.

But when we're stuck and we're overwhelmed and feeling exhausted,

And we keep going out of a need to please and a need for approval,

Then it's going to be self-defeating,

Self-deprecating,

And then it leads to self-doubt and lowers our self-worth.

And then we kind of lose trust in our ability to cope again,

And we become depressed and anxious.

Vulnerability scares us.

And we can start to get strong again,

You know,

If we work into that survival of the fittest.

And when looking at self-care,

There's a tendency to get back to those basics,

Getting back to caring for those biological,

Physiological needs to have shelter,

Food and sleep.

And although those needs are very important,

It doesn't really get us anywhere.

It's actually more like a self-perpetuating cycle.

Because as we start to go up,

We start to get back knocked down again,

If our spirit isn't intact.

So if we look at soul care,

We're working at being able to tune in to our natural rhythms,

And remember our core essence,

Remember that we are spiritual beings and start cultivating that spiritual sovereignty.

We start tending to our own needs as such.

And the soul is where the sacredness of life is revealed.

So how can we access that remembrance,

So that brings us peace and clarity and sense of purpose once again?

With soul care,

The soul leads,

Right?

Can we just surrender and allow soul to lead?

Because then we can access our intuition,

Our innate wisdom,

To be able to discern what's right and what's not right for us,

Right?

What's in our highest and best interest,

Rather than that voice of tradition,

Authority or the majority?

We take responsibility for having our needs met.

We have more of the ability to respond rather than react,

And rather than expecting someone else to fulfill our needs,

Right,

Which can only lead to resentment in the end,

And unmanageable expectations.

And instead it gives us the courage to respond without defenses and with authenticity and integrity.

We get to embody our truth as we keep our spirit intact.

We free our spirit to direct the light that we're meant to live.

And that's what's at the core of soul care.

As many of the things stress us out,

It can also dispirited us and our energy can become dark and heavy,

Making it harder to cope with the increasing demands in our time and energy.

Can you relate?

Spiritual wellness is vital to our wellbeing as we are first and foremost spiritual beings having this human experience.

So I'll explain some of those spiritual wellness strategies as well.

Because sometimes there's a deep healing that's taking place too,

That's beneath the surface.

It can actually leave you feeling depleted.

So perhaps you're not even feeling the need to sleep more or to get away.

You may feel lethargic or unable to focus and not be able to concentrate.

At times you could feel like you can't have certain people in your energy space and overreact and become impatient.

I recently heard that patience is peace in action.

I really love that.

So the beginning of transformation to create permanent lasting change is often a spiritual crisis or an awakening that brings us to awareness of what our soul needs.

You then start choosing ways that are life supportive for you.

To keep on the spiritual path,

It's important to focus on what nurtures,

Heals,

And guides you to fully engage in the highest expression of yourself,

To share your gifts and your abilities and increase your capacity to hold it all and really tap into your potency.

Maslow describes self-actualization as realizing personal potential.

It was also about self-fulfillment and seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

The real goal here is to be happy and fulfilled,

Not just to get everything checked off on your to-do list.

What if you were to create a to-be list?

What would that look like?

Who would you be then?

How would you be living your life then?

How would you be approaching your life then?

I love to approach life with curiosity,

Encourage,

And compassion.

My vision for humanity is to reawaken the wonder of life so we can see life as sacred again and have reverence for that and really want to live it.

Anyway,

Instead of the voice of tradition,

Authority,

Or majority telling you what to do,

You can access intuition and innate wisdom to discern what situations and decisions are right for you.

Taking responsibility to having your needs met.

That helps you to reclaim your power and your sovereignty.

It gives you the courage to respond without defenses and with authenticity and integrity.

So allowing spirituality into your life leads to an increased sense of self-fulfillment,

Contentment,

And a deep sense of belonging.

Here we're motivated by growth needs rather than those deficiency needs.

Our wellness focuses on our growth needs leading to the self-actualization.

This is where you really get to thrive.

Have you been reacting to life instead of embodying it?

If you checked off any of those things I listed off in the beginning about feeling frazzled and overwhelmed or becoming numb or just that nothing's making sense anymore,

Might not have any meaning,

You can see now how useful it is to start engaging in spiritual self-care or soul care.

So I promised you some spiritual wellness strategies so that you can maintain conscious connection to help you build strength to keep your spirit intact and to recognize that it is an act of self-love.

So begin to notice what you're tuning into.

See listening to your own feelings and evaluating experiences instead of the voice,

Voices that you hear in your head that you should do this or should be that or shouldn't do this or shouldn't do that.

So check in and reflect on what area of your life do you feel your needs are not being met.

In what areas of your life do you feel most fulfilled right now?

Maybe you can venture into something new and edge out from your comfort zone a little.

See I like not just breaking out of the comfort zone but really entering your growth zone,

Expanding beyond your limits.

So be authentic in all your communication and watch your relationships thrive with honesty and integrity.

Some relationships will grow while others will dissolve.

Tend to your relationships where it's safe to share your life's experiences and this may not even be with the people closest to you.

It might be your sangha or a community or another group that you feel safe to share your life experiences.

It really is important to line with those who encourage you to live your heart's desires that empower you,

That uplift you,

That help elevate you.

We are actually average of the five people that we hang out with so think about that.

Who are you hanging out with on a regular basis and what kind of impact or influence is that having in your life right now?

And do more of the things that you love to do.

Do what lights you up.

Engage in those activities that bring about contentment and joy for you.

Watch for what lights you up.

Tune into that again.

Recreate that conscious connection.

Ignite your passions and align your higher self or higher power through meditation and prayer or by the way of oracle cards or some other divination tool.

Connect with your creative source.

You can draw,

Color,

Build,

Write or paint as this too will shift your consciousness and help you access different parts of your brain that will also more easily find you to the solutions and answers that you've been looking for.

In this world of instant gratification and communication brought in by technology,

There's been a growing sense of urgency and hyper vigilance so it's really important to get out and interact with the natural world and get tuned back into those natural rhythms that nature offers us.

Don't get sucked into all of the technology and technical ways of relating.

Instead pause,

Breathe into the space between tasks and even create space between a demand and a response.

And if you're not sure what you're solely it's then try this.

Write down one experience that you can remember that brought you so much joy that it might actually even make you cry thinking about it now.

This is a clue to knowing what your soul wants and needs.

This is what opens up your heart and soul.

Have you ever felt that?

Have you ever felt that you entered into a room or into a group or you heard something you maybe even a song that brought tears to your eyes like relaxed your body that gave you a sense of belonging that was soul opening for you?

Keep watch for those things.

Witness that in your life.

Those are blessings in your life and tunes you into what your soul needs.

Self-care actually causes you to do more and push yourself more so be wary of that.

Soul care encourages you to do less and allow you to naturally recalibrate.

One last thing practice self-love every day.

Start with self-care first thing in the morning.

That should be definitely the first thing that you do every day before you do anything else.

Connect with your higher power and your higher self first and then end your day with an intention to rest your soul.

Thank you and please leave any comments if you feel that this has inspired you or maybe what you do now that might inspire others.

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you so much for listening.

Reviews

Love your thoughts on self-love and self care .Your talk is very encouraging and inspiring .Thank you so much for that talk . I love the way you encourage and enspire people to take care of their spiritual life and spiritual well being. Much love and gratitude to you . ❤️🙏🕊️

Hi Jennifer I have had a recurring set of themes arise in my work that upon learning of the terms you’re working with of self care and soul care seem to fit really well within those categories. In my version of self care I talk about getting rest, eating a healthy flavorful diet, exercising, socializing, being creative and so on. In my version of soul care I always talk about the practices of meditation, mindfulness, visualization, prayer, affirmations, manifesting tecniques and so forth.

Thank you Jennifer for this inspiring talk. I love your 'to be' list.
Much love