One of the great challengers of ageing.
Is the rising boundaries of our limitations.
Perhaps we are not physically able to do the things we once did.
Perhaps we do not have the means to take that trip or buy that car.
While we might at times feel some sorrow.
For many of us,
That sorrow is tempered by the power we have to shape our reality.
A friend I've recently come to know has been married nearly half a century,
But for the last decade he has been a caretaker to his wife,
Whose declining health now takes all his time.
He has some help from his family,
But most of his days and all of his nights are dedicated to what he only occasionally and wryly refers to as babysitting.
He is himself fit and active in his 70s.
But while his friends travel to Europe in the summer,
California or Arizona in the winter,
Or even to the city to go to a concert or a restaurant in town for a special meal,
He must stay at home and care for his wife,
Whom he has loved for as long as he can remember.
He does not grieve,
Though,
The loss of these years' potential.
He does not harbor jealousy nor fall into despair.
Is taking upon himself the task of shaping his reality,
Exploring beauty in the woods around his house,
The quiet joy of his guitar before dawn.
I am here and here is a beautiful place,
He told me once.
A conscious choice he has made.
One of the great joys of aging is the power of our self-knowledge and our ability to shape our reality even as our circumstances shape themselves.
If any of this sounds familiar or intrigues you,
I invite you to reflect upon how you respond to circumstance,
How your responses shape your reality,
And that great joy of aging which allows power and wisdom to choose.
