37 Practices Of A Bodhisattva | Mindful Q&A W/ Wendy #45

In this forty-fifth installment of the ongoing live series with Wendy Nash, we continue our inquiry into meditation practice both on and off the cushion following up this time with a comment Wendy made last month about having memorized and worked with "The 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva" (Gyelse Tokmey Zangpo, 14th century), a classic Tibetan Buddhist text that outlines the mindsets, behaviors, and spiritual training required to cultivate compassion and altruism. So we planned to look at least some of these in the light of formal and daily life practice.

Transcript

Hello and welcome, Everyone. Besides this technical challenges, Wendy, How are you? How's it going? Well, I had my birthday this week. Oh, Happy late birthday. I don't know why I missed it. I should have had this down. But anyway, Who cares? Better late than never. OK. So my friend, I said, No presents, No presents, No presents. Because I hate it when people give me presents. Like people give me what they think they should get me rather than what I actually want and you have to know me really well to know me what I want and my partners never get it right like they just never get it right and they're supposed to be paying attention and they're rubbish at it so I just go no presents let's just not do it nonetheless she did it and it was actually very sweet and she scrimps and saves and she has like she really has a lot of expenses so for her to send a boat like a box of box with a plant and a balloon, That would have been a massive, Massive kind of project. Financial burden for her. Very, Very sweet. Very sweet. Oh, That's cool. Yeah, So I'm here on Gubbi Gubbi Country in Queensland and Josh, You're in a cafe? Yeah, You know, I am house-sitting for friends in Eastern Illinois while they go to Death Valley in the States with their kids. And so there's no internet out there. And my phone plan, It works out there, But barely. So I thought, You know, Better come here and do this. And so it's kind of fitting for this. I usually don't get into Bodhisattva practices because I don't, You know, I'm not on this path, But it's all about out. Being out and helping people, Right, And saving all beings everywhere. So a little tongue in cheek, But you know, Kind of. So Wendy, Why don't you, You mentioned these 37 practices of bodhisattva last time, And I was just looking now and AI messed it up pretty much, You know, It watered down and duplicated a lot of stuff. So I put the regular text in the post too. So what do you want to say about this? Where do you want to start? So I like the 37 Practices of Bodhisattva because I, A few years ago, I was having a miserable time in a job. I was miserable where I was living. I had recently separated. And the people were just awful at work, Like they were just really awful. And so I actually took to this practice of reciting the 37 practices every morning when I meditated, And just to myself and just, You know, I memorized it all. And it was really good because when it said, Like it's actually very, Very funny. So the verses are very, Very funny. So let me just see if I can bring up the verses. While you're looking at one, Let me, What I have up here is under the guise of transforming adversity into the path. When robbed, Offer your body, Wealth, And merit to the person who stole from you. So it's like, Okay, Wow, I'm not there. I couldn't imagine doing that. When attacked, Take upon yourself the harm and negative karma of the attacker. So it's kind of tongue in cheek. And it says here, If someone, Driven by great desire, Were to seize all my wealth or encourage another to do so, To dedicate them to my body, Possessions, And all my virtue of the three charms, Without any thought of retaliation, It's the practice of a Bodhisattva. And even if someone were to cut off my head, Even when I have done nothing wrong, Through the power of compassion, To take on all their negative actions upon myself, It's the practice of a Bodhisattva. Even if someone were to proclaim throughout a billion worlds all my faults and speak harshly of me with a mind filled with loving kindness and bow to them with respect is the practice of all bodhisattvas. Even if someone who I have cared for like a child were to regard me as an enemy, To regard that person with special affection like a mother towards her child. It's the practice of a bodhisattva. So it's this kind of It's kind of a joke because it's so impossible to do that. Yes, That's the aim, But no one's going to get there. I like how you you have this, The tone that's kind of a very English tone but what what I looked at these is this like, Okay. Yeah. This is possible, But how probable is it? But what this really points to, If we're going to be more realistic about it, Is to flip things on their head. There's a habitual response we have to things, Right? And it just turns everything on its head. So it shows us another option. So I see how you have an Oscar Wilde or Shakespearean approach to saying this. But I wonder, What if we were to take it more seriously? And, You know, Just flip things around basically. To me, This is like training for a saint. If you're taking this seriously and you're actually, If you're in these things and you have the same kind of sentiment as what some of these things are laying out, That's a saint to me, You know? So it says here, Some of the verses have deliberate wordplay and rhetorical twists, But they are not generally puns in the modern English sense. The Tibetan is particularly good at this because a short phrase can carry several meanings at once. For example, Friends, Verse two, Friends and enemy. The opening uses two very physical images. Towards friends, Attachment churns like water. Toward enemies, Hatred burns like fire. The contrast is deliberate. Water and fire are not just poetic decoration. They represent two fundamental reactions that keep us caught in samsara, Grasping in aversion. So. . . It's, I mean, I've always read this as slightly kind of, Not a pun, But just like ludicrously hard. And to expect that you'll be able to do that is kind of like, Yeah, Like that's the aspiration, But good luck with that one. So if one does not examine one's own confusion, They may act contrary to the Dharma while appearing to practice the Dharma. So there is I think it's. . . They have said, It's not a pun, But they have said. . . That it is like. Is very good in the Tibetan. I see. Let me, I'll read another one here. Even if others should expose my hidden faults or deride me when speaking amidst great gatherings of many people to conceive them as spiritual friends and to bow before them in respect. This is the practice of a Bodhisattva. So it all ends with this is the practice of Bodhisattva. So Wendy, I guess I'm trying to understand why did you take this on for your own amusement or like, You know, Tell me again why you why you took this on or why you read, Read this and read these. And then did you ever take any of it serious or is it just for a good laugh or what? Oh, No, I always took it seriously. But I was having such a bad time that I just thought like I needed to do it. I'm just so this is the translation for it. Now that you have obtained this great vessel, Difficult to find, Which is being born human, Free and endowed with every favorable condition to study, Reflect and meditate day and night without interruption in order to liberate yourself and others from this ocean of samsara, This is the practice of bodhisattva. And it just says, Don't make a mess of it. The next one is, Towards friends and relatives attachment churns like water. Toward enemies, Hatred burns like fire amid darkness that forgets what should be adopted and abandoned. To abandon this life is the practice of all bodhisattvas. By avoiding harmful places, Disturbing emotions gradually diminish. In the absence of distraction, Virtuous practice naturally increases with awareness becoming clearer. Confidence in the Dharma arises to rely upon solitude is the practice of all the body suffers. So basically I looked at my time as I can't remember where you got up to there. So that's four So I was sort of very lonely and I just thought well I'm going to do this I'm going to treat it as if I'm on retreat and I I used to recite them And it just meant that it was it was very helpful when I wanted to lash out to just go, No, Don't do that. And so there was, You know, When I was really in a bad space, But that said, I came back home and I felt myself very frozen because I think I'd had so many of these awful experiences in England. I just found them so, Like I found the Brits, Just the English, Not all of them, But so many of them so cold and so indifferent to another person's pain, Like really I think you know, Not understanding that I was a foreigner. And really harsh judgment. They're awful people. So they can be extremely judgmental. And this is the stiff upper lip mentality, Right? Yeah. Uh, I don't know what it is. Yeah. It's like, Just talk about the weather. It's like, You don't. Have no warmth, You know, Like I don't know what it is, You know. And I think that's why so many Brits kind of come to Australia and then they just feel so much happier. You know, I'm very grateful that I didn't experience too much. I would say there's just about as many fake people in England as there is America, You know? But yeah, It's kind of a different fakeness or attitude, But I met plenty of sincere, Honest, Straightforward, Well, There's less straightforwardness, But that's everywhere too, You know what I mean? So I'm just grateful that then again, You are in the university system, You are at Oxford, And that's a big deal. They're not messing around in Oxford, That's serious stuff. But, You know, I had another job before I was at Oxford and they were equally awful. I mean, And I think I was probably not at my best. I was, I had just arrived. I was very unsettled. And they don't, They, Because they, Like Australians, Australians live abroad, You know. And like but Americans I think they don't if you don't travel like I find here in Caboolture where I am that Because people don't travel, They don't understand what it's like to be a foreigner. And you now know. What it's like to be a farmer. In so much of the world. Colonialism, They're big apologists now about it. But I mean, Well, Some of them are. Maybe it's just saving face or something. And I don't want to talk super bad because, Again, My experience wasn't all that bad. It's just the influence is huge. I mean, Just look at America in just the language. It is kind of like a universal language. And that is really important. The language is really important. Even though we're speaking like an export of English, It's still, You know, How things are presented, Spin, Understood, Connect, Everything, Legal. It's the root of so many things. And here we are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I was doing all this. And I did recognize that it was really hard. You know, Even if someone equal or inferior to me through pride were to disparage me, To honor them as I would my teacher by placing them above myself is the practice of all bodhisattvas. Like, You know, Someone's derogatory, I bow down to them, You know. So I think, To me, It did have this ironic kind of impossible aspiration. And so that's why I thought it was very funny. But apparently I was wrong. So there you are another instance where I'm wrong. So well, No, No, I think it is in a sense. But what to me, I'm sorry, I guess I take two things too seriously here. But to me, What it points to is, Okay, What if, Like, I take my habitual ways of viewing the world and reacting to the world and people in situations, And just flipped it on its head, Flipped it completely around, You know, A complete inversion. What would that be like? I put myself in those shoes and be like, Could I do that? That would be so crazy to actually do that compared to where people are and how people see the world and act in the world, Respond to the world. You know what I mean? Yeah, So it's an interesting thought experiment, You know what I mean? I do think these sentiments are possible, You know? Instead of being super duper mad at someone, I could be less mad. But it's not the full extent of like, You know, Completely turning it on its head. So I asked the chat to change it from a pun to ironic and it says yes. So verse 15 is almost mischievous. Even if someone should expose my hidden faults and deride me, To regard that person as a spiritual friend and bow to them with respect. Um. . . So, You know, You think X is happening. Actually, X is an opportunity to practice Y. So, They can feel almost absurd. The person who gives up pursuing their own happiness is said to be the one who ultimately finds genuine happiness while the personally relentlessly pursuing their own happiness creates suffering. That's not just a rhetorical device. It's essentially the central Mahayana claim that the 37 practices are trying to make you experience rather than merely believe and I think the problem with taking them too seriously is that you can become very earnest and form an identity about them and take it too seriously And I think that's the problem with. . . You know, All that. So that's, Yeah. So there's what the, I think it was Gemini or something did this. So it just simplified it. I think it extracts like the practicality of it. So like the 19, When wealthy or famous, Remain humble and recognize that material success is temporary. When angry, Tame your own mind rather than trying to conquer external enemies. You know, When overcome by desire, Of addictive objects immediately, As if drinking salt water. Yeah, So some of them are really pretty basic. Harmful, Avoid harmful actions. Refrain from unwholesome actions to avoid future suffering. So yeah, When I, I didn't read the real thing, So when I read these little summaries, I thought, Oh, Well, This is pretty, A lot of these are really basic, Straightforward one, Like this one, It just summarizes it as avoid harsh speech. Refrain from words that cause distress to others. Avoid pointing out faults. This is a big Bodhisattva thing. Never speak ill of another practitioner's mistakes. You know, That's a tough one. For us, You know, Because we're. . . Well, We just did it. We just did it. We just did it. But it's not specific. It's not a specific person. Do you know what I mean? But I'm always kind of doing that. And I, You know, It's interesting, Like, I feel more. Like it is just so hard when someone is super frustrating. I'm just putting them all in the private chat. I can't actually use the public chat. So that has to be you. I'll just throw some up here. Yeah. Um. . . These appear to be translations from Tibetan rather than a book. Has been translated. I'll start with 16 here and then can you see it when I show it on the screen? Yeah, You can see 16. Okay. Even if someone who I have cared for like a child were to regard me as enemy, To regard that person with special affection like a mother towards her child is the practice of all bodhisattvas. So let me skip through, Let me do, Let's see here. I think his name is Thakme Gongpung. Do number 20 here. Until the enemy of my own anger is subdued, Although I may conquer external enemies, More enemies will continue to appear. Therefore, To tame my own mind with an army of loving kindness and compassion is the practice of all bodhisattvas. Let me comment real quick. When I first came in here, There was a guy sitting in the corner, And I just looked at him just real briefly. That was the mistake, I think. I just felt this, Maybe it's my own mind projection, But like this intense scowling and hatred. And I was just taken by it. I was like, Okay, I'm just going to sit here and this guy's going to stare at me in the corner. This is weird. And I felt uncomfortable. And I felt this tightening in my chest. And then I just remembered, Oh, Loving kindness. I can practice loving kindness. So start wishing myself well and him well. And it wasn't but two or three minutes and the guy just got up and left, You know? So, I mean, It could have been a coincidence, Obviously, But it just, Once that was, That tension was broken with loving kindness, It just kind of fixed itself. So maybe that's magical thinking or maybe it's coincidence but it really is a remedy I found. All it took was an internal shift in my own perception basically. Yeah, I mean, I think and I think that's what it's all about. It's not about the other person. It's about how do you experience the world? Exactly. And and training yourself. So one of the things that I think is is probably quite key is when you don't lash out, Then you are training your mind. And I guess I got so used to restraint living in living in Oxford that I think what happened when I came back to Australia, I still felt kind of frozen in that restraint. And there is research which says that people who are very extroverted, I mean, I'm obviously highly introspective, But I don't see that as being sort of introverted. I see that as being, You know, I'm still very extroverted. I just happen to be very introspective. Um. . . And I feel like the neurons in my mind have just completely kind of restarted to rewire and just make me feel really withdrawn. And the research is that when someone is very extroverted and they have to be quite withdrawn and pretend to be an introvert, Then they kind of go a bit nuts. They actually, It's really awful. And whereas if someone's very, Very introverted and they pretend to be an extrovert, Actually they can do it, It's not their natural position, But they can make it happen. Actually, I've heard that with actors. Some of the best actors I hear are introverts, But they just get up there, Do it real well, And then withdraw again. There's this notion, I guess, In psychology about going and expressing things that have been repressed as far as emotions go. I see that to a certain degree, But I can also see Like there's one of these I thought about restraining bad emotions or something. Let's see, What was the summary to one of these things? This is how I'd summarize it. Apply remedies immediately. Eradicate disturbing emotions the moment they arise. Some people might say, No, You should actually feel them and let them move through. However, I don't know about that. I mean, Maybe, Yeah. We don't want to suppress them. But also, It depends. If we're going to act on them, Then we can cause a lot of damage. So I don't know your thoughts and feelings on that one. I feel that, So that stuff came from, Really it's very Freudian. It came because at the time when Freud was writing, It was a very, Very repressive system, Particularly for women. And so the expression of emotions was seen as being sort of to, Kind of you became more alive. You know, It helped with the liveliness. That's my understanding. But now we have such an expressive society. We kind of need to unlearn that one. That's my take. You know, I think people who are very expressive and forthright kind of need to pause. And people who are very quiet and withdrawn, Actually, You know, In therapy or whatever, They kind of come forward much more. It's a good point. And there are some cultures that are more reserved, You know, Like in Scandinavia, I would say people are more reserved, You know, Maybe like Germans. At least in public. So okay let's see we've got number 22 here, Whatever appears in one's own mind. From the very beginning, The nature of mind is free from conceptual elaboration. Knowing this, Not to grasp at subject and object, Is the practice of all bodhisattvas. Yeah, Try to do that when you're trying to catch a bus or trying to negotiate in the marketplace. Duality is kind of helpful there. But this goes beyond that, Right? So if that can be reflected upon, This non-duality, It can be helpful. I don't know how practical it is, And I shouldn't say don't do it, But I still like the synthesis of it. How do we do that? How do we combine this non-duality in our day-to-day life? I mean, You know, I think that it's really. . . I think one of them is, I can't remember where it is, But remain natural. And. . . Change but remain natural. And I think that's really key. And actually, It might be in the Lojong slogans, But it's the same sort of stuff. And I just think. . . You don't want to be contrived. You want to kind of listen to your own mind, Listen to your own body. And not be fake, And not be fake to yourself. I think the biggest problem with these verses is that you can become. . . You can delude yourself that you're further along than you are. I've spoken before about. . . Somebody I know and he's very he's very clear in many ways but He kind of can't tolerate any sense of. . . Criticism or something or you know like but what about this thing or what about this approach and anybody else's approach is not viable and so I've always been very interested by this idea that some people can be very. . . Like clear like there's no doubt that he has you know and then there's these kind of real glitches where he's a nightmare and and kind of obnoxious and I often think people have insights and then they start to identify with them and I think with these I think you could But it depends on whether you check. It depends on whether you're honest with yourself. I mean, It's like the whole of the Dharma. If you're not honest with yourself, You're kind of done for, I think. It also brings up this thing that some teachers are talking about now that there can be people that have great insight, Great kind of maybe awakening moments or realizations, But then their personality material is the personality material needs working on, You know, They can really treat people and themselves not so good. So when I read this, These other ones that summarized these transforming adversity on the path. You know, Like when attacked, Take upon yourself the harm and negative karma of the attacker, Right? I wouldn't naturally jump to that. When insulted, Speak of the other person's virtues and return. That's not normally what I, You know, Jump to. When exposed or criticized, Respect the critic as a spiritual teacher. When betrayed, Teach an ungrateful person like a loving parent teaches their child. Yeah, So So, You just spoke a minute ago about that guy in the cafe. So, It's not about you, But he's a teacher and he tells you that you actually have material to work with. Sure, That's right. And you need to kind of. . . And I did. Yeah. It just wasn't immediate like I like. Yeah. So, Yeah, But you just said one. Let's see, When betrayed, Treated, When exposed or criticized, When insulted. Now, Technically, He didn't insult you, But he nonetheless gave you cause to go, Oh, I actually feel that you could be threatening, Which is sort of the same. And you know, Did you suddenly elevate him to a bodhisattva? Exactly. When Exposer criticized Expose, I would maybe felt respect and credit a critic as a spiritual teacher. No, I didn't. I immediately identified myself with a spiritual teacher. Oh, Look how good I am. And then I figured this out, You know, And oh, My gosh. And then there's a little bit of pity there that that he could have been in that state. And I would put myself above him. Right. So yeah. So yeah. So this is this is the game, You know, Like this is this is the edge. To me, That experience that you just described there, That to me is the work. Yeah. Like the rest of it is kind of neither here nor there. But that kind of insight where you're going, Oh, Wow, And I follow myself, You know, Like, Haven't I just? And you know, I'm not saying, You know, I'm different. I mean, Most of us are, You know, It's just so natural because we're around ourselves, You know, In the royal. I'm around myself more than anybody else is. So, Of course, It's going to come to the top a lot of times. And so it's kind of like this Yeah, It is a radical way of looking at things. So like putting everybody else in front of yourself, Even though that was a Christian thing that I grew up, It's just not, To me, I'm sorry, I'm overly practical. Like if I take care of this, Then everybody will benefit. If I'm a complete mess, Nobody's going to want to be around. So I see that as well, But like the danger, And that's why this teaching of non-self or the strategy of non-self comes in too. Until it's a little bit more realized it is just more conceptual thing so that what we're talking about here is wisdom you know how do we What do we do when the rubber meets the road? How do we hold and respond based on what's in the heart? I don't know, But it is conceptual, I think, Really. Sort of have some kind of. I don't know, Barrier like that where you go, Oh, Someone, Like my own mind hit me with a wet fish that I just actually wasn't the person I thought I was. I just think that's the best. Like I think I think it's really yeah, I think it's the best because I'm just like it gives you kind of Um. . . It keeps you in check, You know? It is. It's a weird. . . So for me, What was going on there, At least when I reflect on it, Is there was a hurt there, You know, A pain. So I didn't know where it was coming from, If it was him or me. Either way, It doesn't matter that I don't want anybody, Including myself, To be in that pain. But then in another way, It's a selfish thing. Instead of going up to him, You know, And ask, Hey, Is everything okay? You know, How are you doing? You know, What's going on? I immediately got, Like, Defensive. And you know in a sense this is all more subtle and I thought this hurts what can I do to get out of this you know how can I fix this basically You know, So. Yeah, So holding both of those things at the same time, Right? The selfishness of I want to get out of this uncomfortable, Painful feeling, You know, But I also know that there's potential for mutual on wellness here and what should I do about it, You know, But me first. So this morning, I was just sitting at the breakfast table, We were having breakfast, My partner and I, And I just said, It's like I can feel all the pain, Like all the rubbish things that I experienced. And I feel like I'm constantly being punched. You know, There's sort of my tender, Soft body is being kind of punched by my interactions and the hurts that I feel in the body. It's hard to explain how vulnerable, And I'm not sure I feel vulnerable, But it means then I don't feel entirely happy or entirely horrible. I just feel Um, Like. This body-mind is experiencing kind of pleasant and unpleasant sort of moment by moment, One thing after the other. Yeah, And this is Vedana, Pleasant, Unpleasant, And neither of those. And it does get a little bit strange and weird is when we have all that going on at once, Multiple times, You know. But I really, Like I hear, I feel sort of sensations, But this was, It's starting to feel very, Very immediate, Like. As if someone is punching me all the time. And Yeah, I've started to look at. . . Yeah, So I've started to look at. . . The physical experience. So I listen to podcasts sometimes and I just go, Oh yeah, I'm not gonna listen to that. And then I realized actually it's my body which is sort of feeling uncomfortable. And then I go, Yeah. Well, You know, That it is kind of like a gauge of what to, You know, Gravitate towards and what to go away from. And sometimes there's a there's a huge wisdom in that. And we should pay attention to that. And other times it's it's not helpful. Do you know what I mean? Like sometimes it's just indulging in our indulging what we want to indulge in. But other times I think there's a there's a wisdom in protecting protecting us and what to engage in. You know. So it's not so simple cut and dry all the time because yeah some things I should I feel really pleasant about that I shouldn't and other times I feel like repulsed or hurt by things that aren't really serving me or anyone else either. So yeah it's a really complex thing. So what do you reckon about these bodhisattvas, Like where do you, And I guess you know you're living, You spend your time between Denmark and the US and different countries and stuff and so your body kind of really must be affected by those experiences and those interactions and What have you noticed that is different, That maybe. . . Five years ago, You just agreed. You know, You just kind of went, Oh yeah, It's like that. And then now you go, Ah, This is kind of, Ah, I've changed in this way. You know, I just live in my head. That way I don't have to deal with the body, So. I'm half joking, But there is some of that. Yeah, If it's body based, I don't think it's changed all that much. I would actually say now I'm not as embodied as I used to. But not horribly significantly way. I'm just doing a different meditation practice, Which I think has a huge effect. But it's a really good point to bring that back in and reflect more of that question. You're going to have to reframe it a little bit, But I will say, Just to deflect it a little bit, Is that even though I'm more internally focused now, It's still, There's so much external focus, Right? When we're trying to navigate in a foreign country or now really without a place of my own, Without a car of my own, It's amazing how now I'm reoriented externally more and more. I still have daily practice. I still haven't missed any of that. That's my kind of ground of being. That's when I can really go inside and reassess and relax. It's almost to the point now where there's, There's like a kind of a a stress or like this mental. I don't know like fragmentation or something that that. Have to go into meditation that it's just like it screams out by the time it gets to that point in the day and it is a huge relief and it's like a reset and a cleansing and a re-stabilization and a building of coherence that I really can't imagine living without these days you know it's an absolute necessity before almost anything else which is so wild. But sorry that was the long-winded way to say what was your question again? I'm just really curious to see how maybe the practices have influenced the way that you kind of experience the world. And it doesn't matter whether these ones or other ones, Given that you live in different country and perhaps before maybe you thought, Oh, You're kind of a bit self-righteous and sure. And now you just kind of are a little bit more circumspect and maybe a bit more humble. Like where are you wrong? What have you been wrong with? What was that, What sort of has changed? Because if that's not a problem to be wrong, It's great to be wrong. Because then you're just kind of going, Oh yeah, That door shut. Yeah, I was a bit ludicrous with that one. So yeah, That's what I'm curious about. I will say that I actually have more self-confidence now, Healthy, You know what I mean? Because then I'm not afraid to go do things in a sense, You know what I mean? Almost like, Almost like I need more pulling back and restraint, But I'm forced due to circumstances to keep going and moving. But what I will say is I'll just point back to relationship and how utterly challenging and rewarding it is. And it's not really I don't think it's it's a little bit too private to go into, You know, Publicly. But that's where when we have a partner, They don't let us get away with stuff anymore. Right. You know, They'll point out all of our crap. And just wave it in our face and just be, And some days I hate it and some days I'm so grateful for it, You know? And there really is no getting away with our BS anymore when we're in a relationship. Yeah, Yeah. Like somebody on a retreat said, Is that my cat or is that in your house, In your place? So I heard like a tinkle. There's no cats in there. Okay. It must be my cat's kind of about to appear. There's four cats where I'm at now, Though, Or where I'm house-sitting. Um, But I, Uh, What was I, What was before I got, Yeah. So there was somebody who said maybe in the olden days, Monastic life was kind of where you kind of rubbed up against your, Stuff and then now maybe marriage. You know, Whatever form that takes, You know. Is the equivalent that it's tough. Because. . . You know, You get short-tempered, You get tired, You get windy, Whiny, You get resentful, You get all these things that just you have to kind of keep constantly in check to make sure that the relationship is well-maintained and positive and optimistic. And also not concurrently sell yourself, You know, Like you don't want to negate your own experience and your own sense of well-being and your own like you do have have needs and and like just and and the importance of of feeling respected and dignity and all that sort of stuff. So. Yeah, I think it's definitely an edge. I think that practice which I have, Which is the two of them, Which is to notice all the small things that people do to help me feel at ease, That's just like such gold. And the other one is, What am I not seeing about this? When I've got a problem, My mind's worrying. And I think those two are definitely like it helps me. It keeps me in check. From the resentment, The assumption, The self-righteousness. How I can be difficult and obnoxious and unkind and mean-spirited. So I'm doing this course at the moment, Which is every Thursday. I think we're up to week five now. Last week. I. . . We had an exercise and. . . This young woman, Very timid young woman said, She said, What's your favorite thing about your cat? And I just sort of went, Oh, Actually, I have a lot of issues with my cat. But I didn't want to acknowledge it, Actually. And I felt really, And I was kind of a bit mean in my reply. I'm like, How could you cut up? You know, I just kind of. Responded like that. And so yesterday, First thing I did is I went, I'm so sorry for being mean and all the rest. And just to check in how she felt, Whether she was okay with it. And also to say, Actually, I've taken measures to sort out the relationship with the cat. But I kind of think. Like in some ways these practices of a bodhisattva just bring it back. Is that Really? Kind of the go is that, Is it that sort of stuff where when you have been mean to your partner, To, You know, Somebody in the course. To just go, Yeah, Actually I need to rethink my own role in creating this. Practice situation. Yeah. It's a good point. There's some of us that need more of that to pull it back and look at ourselves, Because I tend to blame others. But then there's other people that are the exact opposite, That they're always wrong. Nobody else can do anything wrong. Why am I such this? The inferiority and the superiority. Yeah, Well, That was beautifully put, Wendy. I'm going to put another one on the thing here. Enlightenment must even give up their bodies? What need is there to mention external possessions? Therefore, Without hope of return or expectation of karmic reward, To practice generosity is the practice of all bodhisattvas. " You know, Yeah, I mean, Who needs this body just, You know, To sacrifice it for anything? I mean, No, I'm being a little bit cheeky there, But, You know, This is. . . Yeah, How much are we really willing to give up? And especially with, You just mentioned the body thing, And yeah, It's easy to say when we're not in pain, But when we're in pain, You know, Yeah, We'd like to give that pain up too, But sometimes, You know, How do we do that? And what do we do about it too? And I just wanted to mention on the cushion as well. So like, These are all, I think, Times for reflecting, You know, Reflecting on this, How am I standing? Up like how can I relate to this or how can't I relate to that and you know where is Where am I at? If I'm in a situation like this, Like external possessions, Just like what happened if all my possessions were given up? Or what happens if I now inherited a ton of stuff that I now have to. . . Deal with or have for enjoyment or for burden. Yeah, Hey Josh, You know how we started a bit late because of technical issues. We can wrap up early. We need to wrap up a little bit early. I'm sorry, I've got other things I need to do. Please, Exactly. No, We will audit in an hour and we're going to keep to that. So, Yes. Thanks. Sorry about that. But we will. I hope you have a great weekend. Enjoy Illinois. And yeah, We will see you on. What should we say about the Bodhisattva? Just keep on keeping on and, You know, And fail and fail better. That's all I can say. Task if you're taking it seriously so yeah it's it's it's quite something with that yeah well I wish I wish you a great weekend and enjoy I don't know when this video goes out but have fun and and don't sweat the small stuff or something