Hello,
My name's Ian Tucker and welcome to 10 Steps for a Better Life.
Step 5.
Find the gift.
Life's not about some kind of flatline clinical existence,
Where we bounce along hoping nothing goes wrong or that things disappear quickly.
To live a rich and fulfilling life,
We have to accept that on some level,
Things are going to come to test us.
But what about if I was to ask you to consider that things happen for you rather than to you?
Let me explain.
You and I can't fully understand the benefits of happiness until we've experienced sadness,
Or we can't appreciate caring and being cared for until we have felt lonely and alone.
Happiness doesn't exist without knowing sadness,
And the same for caring and loneliness.
We weren't born to suffer,
You and I.
Let me say that again.
We weren't born to suffer,
You and I.
We were born to evolve,
To develop a better understanding of ourselves and human nature,
But not to suffer.
And there are three steps to finding the gift in any situation.
And I would like to introduce you to a very simple but profound exercise that without exception will enable you to liberate yourself and move on from what's holding you down.
So step one is an initial shock or a reaction to what happens to us.
He's cheated on me.
She's been dishonest around money or finances.
And as a result,
We have a reaction that quickly develops into a mental or emotional capacity that we link to that act or that issue,
What we think about it,
How it makes us feel.
And for many of us,
Most of the time,
That's where we become stuck.
We push it down and we become stuck with how it makes us feel,
Or every time we think about it,
That thought process attached to it.
But remember,
We weren't born to suffer.
And there's a third step.
So what I would ask you to do is take two pieces of paper,
Or perhaps two pages from a book,
And at the top of the first page,
Write down the issue.
He cheated on me.
She was dishonest.
And then find it within yourself to empty yourself of how it makes you feel onto that first page.
Leave nothing in.
Just by facing the issue is a massive step in the right direction.
And fill that page with all of your thoughts and feelings around how it's made you a victim and how you feel stuck.
And you'll come to a point where you can't think of anything else to write.
But there's a step three.
And on the second page,
Again at the top,
Write the same issue.
But this time,
Sit for a moment and allow yourself to think about the gift that this issue has brought to you.
I am no longer trapped in a relationship where I can't trust my partner.
I am free to explore others.
I will be more careful around finances in the future.
I will take care of myself financially.
There is always a gift for what we go through.
We don't need to be stuck around the thoughts and the emotional baggage.
So move on.
Find a gift in each situation.
Liberate yourself.
