Self Leadership Your Way

In this week's episode, we look at the concept of self-leadership and how we can discover our own unique leadership energy to step forward and take control of our own lives. I would love to hear your thoughts so feel free to reach out and if you would like to claim your free trial in the membership and join us, DM me for the link.

Transcript

Hey lovelies,

Welcome to another episode.

Today I wanted to talk to you about something that one leads on quite nicely from what we were talking about last week in terms of archetypes and that those kind of inner parts within us and it was something that came up for a client of mine a couple of weeks ago and let me tell you the story.

So she was finding she was holding herself back in her business.

There was something that she wanted to do or maybe create but she was holding herself back from really thinking that through properly and was finding herself waiting and I think she said I just want to wait till people ask me to do that thing.

Now we know that doesn't particularly work right in business.

We can't wait to be asked to create something otherwise we'd never create anything because people are drawn to us by what we're putting out there so it's when we put things out there that people then come to us.

We've got to be in that leadership type role and so in this example this leadership type role is relevant for business but even if you don't have a business we need to step into that leadership role when it comes to taking charge of our life,

Making decisions that are going to work for us,

Aligning to the life that's going to support us,

Our well-being,

Our abundance,

What lights up our soul.

So I think this is a conversation that's really useful for all of us no matter if you're in business or not but in this example she was holding herself back from really stepping into that leadership position of putting herself out there and saying you know being the lighthouse,

Being the person that puts their head above the parapet and says oh I'm here I've got this to offer because well one it's scary,

It makes us feel vulnerable right when we put our head above the crowd but actually when we got beneath the surface of what was holding her back she had a view of leadership that wasn't supporting her.

So when I asked her to try and tap into who was the leader within her,

What is that leadership energy for you,

A lot of fear came up because the archetype that came to her mind was someone like Donald Trump and that is not someone she wanted to be.

She didn't want to be the kind of fat cat,

Do people use that term?

I think so,

Like that kind of CEO that's ruthless and doesn't care about anyone and is greedy and selfish and I'm not saying Donald Trump is any of those things,

I don't know him but that archetypal CEO that just,

We all know what that looks like right,

I don't need to explain that anymore,

We can all imagine that in our head and it's not a surprise because you know I don't know about you but if you watch a movie often the bad guy is the billionaire CEO who's like doing awful things in the world and so it's no wonder we can have a bit of a screwed up relationship internally with who's my inner leader and then we put on top of that perhaps leaders that we've come across in the corporate world or in life,

In you know a job where we've had managers or leaders that haven't done a very good job and you know have made some mistakes and it's given us a poor opinion of leadership or given us a poor opinion of what it means to be in a leadership role,

What that looks like.

I can remember when I used to work in HR,

I had this kind of theory and I remember talking it through my manager because I was like there's something in this and I used to be able to identify if we were going to have problems with a certain manager you know who we were going to get the grievances from like in terms of their team members who you know complaints would be made against based on that person's level of security about themselves and their ability to do that role and how honest they would be about that.

So for example I would see leaders or people being promoted to leadership positions and if they didn't feel capable and they weren't honest about that with their team or with the people around them,

The support systems like HR,

Then they would end up overcompensating and when they would overcompensate they would lose touch with those kind of people skills or they would start mimicking that sort of Donald Trump type figure where they felt they had to be ruthless and heartless and detach from their emotional side and lose their sense of empathy.

So I think there's this there's something in this stereotype that many of us can find challenging around what does it mean to be a leader and leadership it's a bit like money in the respect of it is likely to emphasize that which you already are so there's nothing inherently wrong with money there's nothing inherently wrong with leadership but it will kind of magnify what's already within you.

So on that point it feels like a very waffly one today apologies but on that point I wanted to invite you to one consider what comes to mind when you think about leadership,

Being a leader.

Are you leading in your life?

Are you the person that's taking charge?

Are you holding the reins?

Are you directing the ship?

Are you making sure that your life is headed in the way that you want it to?

Are you on course for the goals that you want to meet?

Or are you sat in the passenger seat waiting for those things to come to you?

Waiting for something to change?

Waiting for a miracle?

Because the truth is that doesn't really get us very far and so we need to understand okay if I am a leader if I am going to be the leader in my business in my life then what does that look like what energy do I want that to have?

What kind of attributes am I as a leader or do I have as a leader?

And so again we can use some of the archetypal energies that can really help us out with this.

So my client in this case decided that idea of leader you know was bringing up that image but when she tapped into that idea of like a queen type energy that felt really good to her.

You know she could be the queen of her business,

She could step into that from a place of leadership but also that queen type energy for her brought up more kind of heart openness,

More kind of compassion.

She like described this idea of you know like the queen who goes down into the village and helps her subjects but at the same time is willing to step back and take those big decisions and look at the big picture.

So queen type energy although it does sound a little bit Instagram if you know what I mean might be something that helps you tap back in.

For you it might be a completely different word.

It could be like an image that just came into my head was like was like a leader of a tribe,

Like a matriarch.

To me there's a really powerful energy in it when you think about those the matriarch in a tribe,

The woman that is there for the wisdom,

The woman that has seen it,

The woman that is able to guide the tribe easily and effortlessly from a place of experience and intuition.

It might be something different.

It could be goddess,

Empress.

I'm using female analogies here but feel free to insert in a male analogy if that works better for you.

My point being get really clear on if you are stepping into your leadership energy who do you want to be as that leader?

What is it about that that is going to help you take your life forward?

So some of the words that come through for me when I think about when I step into my leadership energy and it's in a really good state and it feels really good.

I feel self-assured.

I feel strong.

I feel empowered.

I feel resilient.

I don't let things knock me.

You know things can go wrong and I can stay cool and calm.

When I'm in that leadership energy,

When I'm taking,

When I'm making the choice to be in that role then I can deal with anything.

And notice there I said choice because it is a choice to step into that inner leader.

Again you can wait for this to happen but it won't happen unless you choose it and initially it might feel a bit clinky and is that a word like clunky?

It might feel a little bit uncomfortable.

You might feel a bit weird because it's new.

However,

Like a piece of clothing the more you wear it,

The more it feels normal,

The more it feels natural,

The more you don't want to take it off,

Right?

Anyone else got t-shirts that are like 10 years old but you don't want to throw them away because they're so comfy now.

So it's that kind of practicing and again this isn't about inauthenticity,

It's about accessing that which is already within you.

That leadership has been there the whole time.

It's just waiting for the opportunity for you to give it the nod,

To say she's allowed to come out,

That she's allowed to take charge,

That she knows enough,

That she has the required skills and experience to actually step forward and yeah there might be doubt there,

Yeah there might be insecurity there but the more that you choose to step into this other role,

The quieter those other voices become and the louder that inner strength,

That inner power,

I want to say the brighter that gets so actually you don't even have to try,

It just starts emanating from you.

I hope that's been helpful and given you a little something to contemplate and I would invite you to perhaps do some journaling around this.

If you can see there's a real gap between where you are and the leadership energy you want to step into,

Start journaling around what are the steps that I could start taking today to really bring forth that part of me?

What are the things that I might want to change about the way that I'm operating?

If I was in this leadership energy what choices would I be making differently right now?

What conversations would I be having?

What things would I be putting out into the world perhaps in your business?

How would I be being more visible right now?

How would I be showing up?

What energy would I have as I show up?

And like I say I'm really aware that this sounds very business orientated but it goes way beyond that right?

Way beyond that.

You can be a leader in terms of taking control of the things that are happening in your life and that is 10 times more important than being a leader in your business.

So on that note I will leave you with that contemplation short and sweet this week and I look forward to seeing you next week for another episode.

Take care.

Reviews

Great analogy and something to think about💖
Thank you:)