Wouldn't it be great if there was a rulebook that you could follow in order to stop yourself worrying,
Ruminating or overthinking things?
There isn't unfortunately,
However,
There is a well-known concept that can help and it's called the Circle of Control.
It's a wonderful framework for enhancing mental health and well-being.
By recognising what we can and can't control and focusing our energy on areas where we can create positive change,
We build resilience,
Lessen anxiety and enhance our sense of personal empowerment.
This concept suggests dividing our concerns into three categories.
So the things you can control,
The things you can't control and the things that you can influence.
So firstly,
Let's talk about things that we can control.
So that might be your behaviours,
Attitudes,
Actions.
These are all manageable elements.
Now let's think about the things that we can't control.
So for instance,
Global events,
Natural disasters,
The weather,
Whether it rains or the sun shines,
How people treat you and people's opinions and many other things.
If we choose to put our focus only on these areas,
It would soon lead to stress,
Anxiety and even hopelessness.
And the third category that we have to think about within this concept are the things that we can influence.
This is the area falling between the two extremes.
So we may not have direct control over some things,
But perhaps we can exert some influence through our actions or choices.
This concept,
The circle of control,
Is often represented by three concentric circles.
A small circle surrounded by a medium-sized circle surrounded by a larger circle.
The picture for this audio demonstrates it.
The green central circle being the things you can control,
The middle yellow circle represents what you can influence and the outer red circle represents what is outside of your control.
Understandably,
It's the largest of three circles because there is a great deal of things that we can't control in this life.
The goal of understanding your own circle of control is to focus your energy on those manageable elements,
The things you can control or perhaps influence.
Focusing your energy in these areas will prove beneficial to your overall health and well-being by building resilience and increasing empowerment rather than becoming anxious or frustrated by the things that you can't control.
For instance,
You may be worried about the outcome of a recent job interview.
Considering the three categories,
Things I can control,
Things I can't control and things I can influence,
Where might you channel your energy to lessen your worry?
It's true that you can't control the outcome of this past event but you might consider calling the company if you haven't heard after a decent amount of time has passed.
This gives you back some power and would most likely lessen any stress or anxiety concerning the outcome.
Now let's look at another example to demonstrate this concept.
You're driving to work and you hit some unexpected heavy traffic.
You're going to be late and you're starting to feel stressed and frustrated.
So using the circle of control,
Thinking about the green circle,
So these are things that are inside your circle of control,
The things that you can control,
You would list your attitude because you can choose to stay calm instead of getting angry.
Your actions,
You can notify your boss or co-workers that you'll be late.
How you spend the time,
You can listen to a podcast,
Audiobook or music to stay relaxed and how early you leave next time.
So you can plan to leave earlier tomorrow to avoid the same issue.
So there I've listed four things that are all within or inside your circle of control.
Let's consider your circle of influence.
You might suggest to your manager a more flexible start time or you might talk to co-workers about carpooling or finding alternate routes.
And then finally let's think about the red circle,
The things outside your control.
These are the traffic conditions,
Any road accidents or construction,
Other drivers behaviour,
You certainly can't control that,
And the fact that you'll arrive late today.
Instead of stewing in frustration about things you can't change,
Like traffic,
Shift your focus to what you can control.
Your response,
Your attitude,
And next steps.
This helps reduce stress and improves your sense of agency.
So next time you are worrying or feeling anxious about something,
Try and focus your energy productively on the things that you can control or influence.
Make the circle of control a cornerstone of your path to better mental health and a more rewarding life.
