EFT: Adult Children Of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families
This is an EFT Tapping session incorporating the traits of an Adult Child (Laundry List). Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families are people who had to be adults while being children. The ones who have faced trauma as children and still carry that pain into adulthood. The ones who didn't get the rightful healthy love everyone deserves from their parents. This is no one's fault, but it is in our hands to heal from the past. I read the 14 Laundry List Traits (also known as the 14 traits of an Adult Child) and expound on it while we Tap. EFT Points: Start with Side of Hand, then: 1. Eyebrow 2. Side of Eye 3. Under Eye 4. Under Nose 5. Under Lip 6. Collarbone 7. Side of Chest 8. Top of Head Then repeat from the Eyebrow again.
Transcript
So,
Hello,
Welcome.
Today we'll be doing tapping on the laundry list traits of ACA.
ACA stands for Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.
So the laundry list traits is basically the 14 traits of an adult child of an alcoholic.
So I will read it first before we tap.
1.
We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
2.
We become approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
3.
We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
4.
We either become alcoholics,
Marry them or both,
Or find another compulsive personality,
Such as a workaholic,
To fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
5.
We live life from the viewpoint of victims,
And we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
6.
We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility,
And it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves.
This enables us not to look too closely at our own faults,
Etc.
7.
We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
8.
We became addicted to excitement.
9.
We confuse love and pity and tend to love people we can pity and rescue.
10.
We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much,
Also known as denial.
11.
We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
12.
We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings,
Which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
13.
Alcoholism is a family disease,
And we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
14.
Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
So the laundry list traits that I just read is for ACA or adult child of an alcoholic,
Meaning if you grew up with adults or caregivers who were either alcoholics or dysfunctional,
Then that might be you.
The reason why it's adult child based on my experience is because we had to become an adult while we were children.
And while we're adults now,
We still have a lot of that child trauma that we face,
And so we behave like children as adults,
And we had to be adults while we were children.
That can cause a lot of trauma in our lives and disrupt our developmental brain.
Because as children,
We are meant to be children,
You know,
Live life free,
Love,
Peace.
And when it's filled with pain and trauma,
It affects our adult lives and our day-to-day lives.
Today's tapping will be really simple.
It will just be tapping on the traits.
So I will be reading them while we tap and I'll expound on them a bit.
And then the solution to those traits or the problem is that we learn to become our own loving parents.
So we give ourselves the love that we have always seeked for.
We give ourselves that attention,
That care,
That parenthood that we didn't receive.
We give that to ourselves.
So I'll start with a prayer.
Dear God,
Please do your will for this tapping session.
Please say the words for me.
Please help all of us release what we need to release and receive what we need to receive.
Please come over here and do the tapping for me.
I'll start with side of hand,
Or I'll actually say the points one time.
So we'll start with side of hand,
And then we go into the eyebrow point.
Then we got side of eye,
Under eye.
So under eye is not the soft part under the eye,
But please look for the bone under the eye.
And then we got under nose,
And then under lip.
So not chin,
But the groove under the lip.
And then collarbone.
So please look for your collarbone and then go one inch down.
Or you can also tap in the center of the collarbone.
I like to tap on the center and the sides.
Side of chest.
So this is also the bra strap line.
And if this point is uncomfortable to get to for whatever reason,
You may also use the alternative point of that which is in between the ring and pinky finger at the back of our hand.
And then last point is the top of head or crown.
So I'll start with the side of hand.
Even though I identify with the traits of an adult child of an alcoholic,
I still deeply and completely love,
Accept,
And honor myself.
Even though I have had a rough childhood,
Maybe there's a lot of trauma,
A lot of pain,
A lot of difficult experiences,
But I still choose to believe that I am so strong and worthy because I am standing here today,
Alive,
Well,
And tapping on my body.
Even though I may identify with being an adult child,
I still deeply and completely love,
Accept,
And forgive myself and everyone,
Especially my parents,
Because I choose to be that free.
I choose to be that loved.
Eyebrow.
I have isolated myself.
Side of eye.
I have spent a great deal of time being afraid of people and authority figures.
Under eye.
Sometimes it feels like I'm a people pleaser.
Under nose.
And that made me lose my identity in the process.
Under lip.
I am frightened by angry people.
Collarbone.
And I really dislike personal criticism.
It makes me really scared.
Side of chest.
Maybe I became an alcoholic,
Or maybe I married some alcoholic,
Or maybe both.
Top of head.
Or maybe I found someone with a compulsive personality.
Eyebrow.
Such as a workaholic to fulfill my sick abandonment needs.
Eyebrow.
I feel like a victim for the most part of my life.
Under eye.
I don't feel powerful.
Under nose.
I seem to have attracted people who are also weak.
Under lip.
Who are also victims and who do not know how to step into their power.
Collarbone.
I developed an over sense of responsibility.
Side of chest.
For other people rather than myself.
Top of head.
Because it is so much easier to be concerned with others rather than my own self.
Eyebrow.
This helps me not see my true reality or even my own faults.
Side of eye.
Anytime I try to stand up for myself,
I feel really guilty.
Under eye.
And so I don't stand up for myself,
I simply give in to others.
Under nose.
I may be addicted to excitement.
Under lip.
And what that means is,
I may be addicted to not having peace.
Collarbone.
But that is not my fault.
Side of chest.
I may have grown up with so much chaos around me.
Top of head.
That chaos has become my new norm and I got addicted to the excitement of chaos.
Eyebrow.
I am confused between love and pity.
Side of eye.
Whenever I pity someone,
I mistake that for love.
Under eye.
Whenever I can rescue someone,
I mistake that for love.
Under nose.
I have stuffed my feelings for my traumatic childhood.
Under lip.
And of course I did,
It was too much for a child to go through.
Collarbone.
Having stuffed my feelings served me at one point.
Side of chest.
It may have even protected me at one point.
Top of head.
But now that I am an adult.
.
.
Eyebrow.
Because I stuffed my feelings,
I know longer how to feel my feelings today.
Side of eye.
It just hurts too much to feel any feelings.
Under eye.
Maybe I'm in denial about what I've gone through.
Under nose.
I am my biggest judge.
Under lip.
I am my harshest judge.
Collarbone.
I give myself a hard time for making mistakes.
Side of chest.
I give myself a hard time for not being perfect.
Top of head.
And because of that,
I have a very low sense of self-esteem.
Eyebrow.
I have a dependent personality.
Side of eye.
When I was a child,
I was abandoned by my caregivers.
Under eye.
When they weren't there for me emotionally.
Under nose.
And so I am so terrified of being abandoned again.
Under lip.
That I would do anything to hold on to a relationship.
Collarbone.
Even if that relationship is not good for me.
Side of chest.
Alcoholism is a family disease.
Top of head.
And I don't need to have picked up any alcoholic drink.
Eyebrow.
To pick up personality traits of an alcoholic.
Side of eye.
Alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
Under nose.
And what that means is.
Sorry.
Under eye.
And now under nose.
Is that instead of thinking before responding.
Under lip.
Instead of taking actions that may serve me better.
Collarbone.
I simply react in situations without giving it proper thought.
Side of chest.
This leaves me with a lot of guilt.
Top of head.
And so maybe sometimes I simply will just not do or say anything.
Eyebrow.
All of these traits.
Side of eye.
That I may have them all or just some.
Under eye.
I choose to see the other side of it.
Under nose.
And the other side of it.
The other side of it is that I am so freaking strong.
Collarbone.
I went through all that traumatic experiences.
Side of chest.
I picked up all of this pain and characteristics.
Top of head.
But somehow I managed to find enough strength.
Eyebrow.
To read the traits of an alcoholic.
Of an adult child of an alcoholic.
Side of eye.
Enough strength to be tapping on my face right now.
Under eye.
Enough strength to think about what I've gone through.
Under nose.
And enough strength to want to change it.
Under lip.
The solution is to become my own loving parent.
Collarbone.
Sitting here and blaming my parents do no good for me.
Side of chest.
Maybe I've been angry for a big part of my life.
Top of head.
Maybe I have resentments towards my parents or caregivers.
Eyebrow.
But what has that done for me?
Side of eye.
Has blaming and keeping resentments ever made me feel better?
Under eye.
Or has that just made me feel worse?
Under nose.
So maybe I can try something new today.
Under lip.
Instead of focusing so much of my energy on anger and resentment,
Collarbone.
Instead of focusing so much of my energy on why things don't work,
Eye.
Side of chest.
I choose to change that and do something new.
Top of head.
I choose to focus on myself instead.
Side of head.
Eyebrow.
I choose to put energy into loving myself instead.
Side of eye.
We can only give what we have.
Under eye.
I cannot give something to someone if I don't have it first.
Under nose.
And if I've been filled with so much hate,
Anger,
And resentment,
Under lip.
Then how can I give love to the people I actually care about?
Collarbone.
If I did not get the love I needed from my parents or caregivers,
Side of chest.
It does not mean that I cannot get that love now.
Top of head.
I just have to change who I get that love from.
Eyebrow.
And I choose to give that.
I choose to receive that love from my own self.
Side of eye.
God created humans and living things and non-living things with enough love.
Under eye.
Enough love to power the whole world.
Under nose.
And if God created all of this love,
Under lip.
If God created the most majestic seas,
Collarbone.
If God created this bright,
Beautiful,
Powerful sun,
Side of chest.
If God created a moon,
Top of head.
So that we would have light even in the dark.
Eyebrow.
Then God created me as well with all that love.
Side of eye.
God created this whole universe and decided.
Under eye.
One thing that this whole universe really needs to be complete.
Under nose.
Is me.
Under lip.
And if this magical,
Powerful creator can love me,
Collarbone.
Then I can surely at least try to love myself too.
Side of chest.
I can choose to see how God sees me.
Top of head.
I can choose to see myself as a creation of the universe.
Eyebrow.
I can look at my hands and think of all the great things my hands can do.
And have done.
Side of eye.
I can look at my feet and think of all the places I've been and can go.
Under eye.
I can look at my tongue and lips and think of all the delicious food I have ever eaten and will eat.
Under nose.
I can look at my ears and think of all the great melodies I've heard and will hear.
Under lip.
I can look at my nose and think of all the great things I have smelled and will smell.
Collarbone.
If it is hard to find that love for myself.
Side of chest.
Then I can start to give love to these little parts of me.
Top of head.
I can appreciate the function of each part of my body.
Eyebrow.
I can look at my tongue and when I give all these little parts of me love.
Side of eye.
Then I am giving myself the love that God wants to give me.
Under eye.
The solution is to become my own loving parent.
Under nose.
But I already do have an original parent.
Under lip.
I have God,
The creator,
As my father.
Collarbone.
And I have Mother Nature,
The creative power,
As my mother.
Side of chest.
And in this physical world.
Top of head.
I have me as my own loving parent.
Eyebrow.
I choose to get to know my inner child.
Side of eye.
Under eye.
I choose to remember how I looked when I was three or four years old.
Under eye.
And I choose to see that three or four year old child in front of me now.
Under nose.
And as I see myself at three or four years old.
Under lip.
I can see the innocence and love in that little child's eyes.
Collarbone.
I can appreciate all that they had to go through.
Side of chest.
So that I could make it here as an adult.
Top of head.
I choose to give my little child a really tight and loving hug.
Eyebrow.
And I choose to thank them.
Side of eye.
Because if they were,
Because of their strength in going through what they went through.
Under eye.
I am able to live a long and full life.
Under nose.
And I want to give that child everything in the world.
Under lip.
Because they deserve every wonderful loving thing.
Collarbone.
And that wonderful loving thing they first deserve.
Side of chest.
It's me being their loving parent.
Top of head.
Children are so simple and sweet.
Eyebrow.
All they truly need is love.
Side of eye.
And God,
The creator,
Who is filled with love.
Under eye.
When I was created,
I was also filled with love.
Under nose.
Because remember,
We can only give what we have.
Under lip.
And God has a lot of love.
Collarbone.
Proof of that is in the nature that I live in.
Side of chest.
Proof of that is in the smell of the flowers and the freshly cut grass.
Top of head.
Eyebrow.
Proof of that is the most beautiful colors during every sunset and sunrise.
Eyebrow.
Proof of that is when my little pet looks at me with so much love.
Side of eye.
I was created with so much love.
Under eye.
And therefore,
I have enough love to give my inner child.
Under nose.
Enough love to reach a place of healing.
Under lip.
Enough love to recover from my adult child traits.
Collarbone.
It is safe for me to grow up.
Side of chest.
It is safe for me to feel love.
Top of head.
It is safe for me to recover.
Eyebrow.
I choose to forgive my parents or caregivers.
Side of eye.
Because they were only doing the best they knew how.
Under eye.
And we can't get angry at someone for not knowing something.
Under nose.
It doesn't help them learn.
Under lip.
It is safe for me to grow up.
So I choose not to be angry at my parents or caregivers.
Collarbone.
For not knowing how to love me and care for me the way I needed.
Side of chest.
I choose to feel love and compassion instead.
Top of head.
And I release all that no longer serves me.
And take a deep breath.
Thank you.
So that was tapping on 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
Thank you.
