Are you comfortable?
Then we'll begin.
We'll start off taking a few breaths just to settle ourselves.
So,
And then.
And the yoga class you teach us on Thames Seas.
Concentrate on your third eye.
And I was always curious where my third eye was.
They always kind of pointed toward my forehead.
Oh,
Their forehead,
So I was always thinking about my forehead.
Just above where my eyebrow is meeting.
And then What else can you think in?
Is it just,
Is it right on the bone right there?
So we'll start to do a wee bit of research.
Start.
Reading about parts of the brain started.
Figuring it out,
Yeah.
Let's start the IQB.
I don't know if I was right when I came to the conclusion about the pineal gland.
Read loads of stuff about the pain of land and stuff.
I've got to admit,
I'm no,
I'm no like,
I've no got a doctorship,
I'm no a shaman.
I've been meditating for a few years.
I've not got many certificates to say that.
I know what I'm doing.
This wee exercise seemed to make a difference when I started doing it.
So give it a try and see what you think.
I'll start off by describing where I think the pineal gland is.
That's because I've never really got the microscope in an idea like that.
Here inside my envy stain brain but i believe it's like if you follow your makeup.
The front ear neck up.
Imagine that line runs up through your mind.
Up through your head.
And then there's also a line running through the middle of your forehead just above your eyebrows and it's where those lines meet is roughly about the place where that pineal gland will be.
You've signed up for some breathing techniques then,
But no static breathing yet,
You're wondering what's going on,
But if you bear with me please.
Right,
So we've got this location in your head that's,
If you follow the front of your throat up,
Into your head and where it intersects with the line from the middle of your forehead.
And.
.
.
Running just above your eyebrows right through,
So that line in your brain where them two lines connect is,
I'm thinking that's where your penile land is.
Of when I imagine this breathing technique,
That's what I'm reading into.
It seems to make a massive difference to me.
Maybe you think I'm talking rubbish.
Maybe you'll do this exercise and you'll probably confirm I'm talking rubbish.
And then you'll never ever believe anything I ever say again.
But that's all right,
Because I've been known to tell some lies.
But it's more just for a laugh than actually for anything helpful.
But anyway,
And cheating at cards.
Not to actually win anything,
I love cheating at cards,
But it's actually just to see the shock in people's faces.
And it's actually it's no actually like serious cheating it's actually just like like if you're playing dominoes and you put a four down instead of a five and the whole table erupts but i'm i'm showing you my dishonesty anyway right back to it right but it's no you actually win it's actually for like for a laugh does that make sense or no it's probably you probably just want to line me up and shoot me or anything.
You know what I mean?
Like,
Banish me.
In fact,
Robinson Crusoe.
Robinson Crusoe,
This romanticised guy,
And he's from Fife in Scotland.
This wee,
Gorgeous wee seaside town in Fife,
Just up from St Andrews,
The famous place in St Andrews,
Where they play golf and go to universities and stuff.
There's just a.
.
.
Is it above there or below there?
It's close to St Andrews,
Anyway.
Lie I might be telling,
But obviously crucial.
He was never shipwrecked,
Eh?
It's an urban legend that he was shipwrecked.
But the wrecking,
He was just that much.
He was so disliked on the boat.
The guys on the boat just says,
Like,
Off.
And they're just like,
You know when you're in the middle of a road trip and like.
.
.
I've never actually done it myself i've always found levels of compassion but you just say like basically that's what they done eh they just like just taken this guy off dumped him in a like in a sandy tropical island and just says like bash on man eh maybe maybe if somebody else will pick you up maybe you'll show levels of compassion yourself and you might actually be a better person like it was never shit like but anyway they were getting far far beyond the pineal gland that we're starting to talk about.
So anyway,
What we're talking about is this penile gland,
Right?
But honestly,
We're getting to the point.
So the pineal gland,
It's in the middle of your brain,
Right?
Imagine trying to inflate it with your breath.
I've not got any medical evidence,
I can't point you to any research papers.
But just try doing this just imagine this like this thing that's shaped like an acorn oh it's not like an acorn because it's an acorn's round and smooth but it's like got wee grooves on it there's another seed It's not an acorn,
I can't actually mind.
It's not a beech nut either.
Right,
So.
.
.
Anyway,
Imagine,
Like,
Imagine.
.
.
Like any rough acorn.
Inside your brain.
To the no right in the front but just above your throat and in line with your forehead.
And every time you breathe in you're going to look towards it with your eyes and that might be quite helpful.
Quite strenuous on your eyes,
So you don't have to do that.
You're just going to try and look backwards,
Right?
But imagine when you breathe in,
You're inflating this pineal gland,
This wee acorn here,
And we're not trying to pump it up like a bicycle tank.
All we're trying to do is just increase it a wee bit.
And decrease it when you breathe it.
In Greece.
Take care.
Be what they are in the end,
Right?
So.
.
.
He has meandered off the point now,
So anyway,
So when we breathe in.
.
.
But just going to breathe in.
To the penal land,
This wee acorn type thing in her brain.
And then when I breathe out,
I'm going to see how you feel after,
Won't I?
You might just go,
What a lot of rubbish.
Or you might actually go,
Oh my God,
That feels amazing.
Because I know I feel amazing afterwards.
Right.
So,
Let's try it.
It'll take a couple of breaths to get into the breath because normally we just go straight into breathing but anyway,
Right so.
.
.
I'm talking too fast,
You probably don't understand a word I'm saying,
I'm talking too fast.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Right,
So the next time you breathe in,
Imagine inflating this wee acorn in your brain.
And now we're just going to release the pressure on it.
And all that air that you breathe into.
It's just going to go down through your body and in your heart.
And down through your whole body.
Pretty good.
Bound that tiny eagle,
That Pinot Blanc.
And then when you're there.
That breath's not coming out your mouth,
That breath's coming down.
Coming down through your neck,
Down into your heart,
Down through the rest of your body.
Right,
You're probably still thinking about Robinson Crusoe.
And I'm not doing anything to calm you down.
You just like wanted to zip on here for five minutes.
Have a breath and just like,
What do they call it,
And now I've just buckled your head completely.
Right,
But we're just going to continue just breathing in.
Even in that pineal gland Expand it when you breathe out,
All of that.
Pressure down into your heart,
Down into the rest of your body.
Fill up.
MGM.
Hello?
I am here.
And the ear brain.
I need your heart.
And in your brain.
You don't need me mumbling anymore.
He's got the part on.
You can just continue as you want.
Going to just sit for another few minutes.
It's not the easiest exercise,
It actually takes a fair bit of effort.
Especially if you're looking back.
There's a strain in your eyes.
Maybe a strain that you weren't expecting this morning.
Maybe the biggest strain you normally have is trying to sit with a straight back.
Like I do here.
Meditation sitting on a nice comfy cushion.
I know I'm asking you to do something completely different.
I'm not expecting miracles when I do this.
I'm not expecting miracles.
You can maybe do your own research into the pineal gland.
Maybe you might find them.
Maybe if you find them,
I should tell you the truth,
That might be a surprise.
That'd be the first question.
No,
It's been seriously.
To me,
Eh?
I may be talking rubbish,
Yes.
To me,
I find doing this exercise is just,
I find it really,
Really calming.
I don't even know what that is.
I don't know if.
.
.
It's that placebo effect that I think I'm actually doing.
Myself.
A benefit,
So therefore a benefit.
There's no,
I see me get up.
A bigger lift off of doing this exercise than just normal.
Hmm.
Just normal breathing exercises.
I've been mumbling long enough here eh?
Right,
So.
.
.
Try not to be Robinson Crusoe.
But in saying that,
Just do your own thing,
Yeah?
You know what I mean?
And maybe if people want to chuck you off at a tropical island,
That's on them.
It's no one new.
You know what I mean?
And maybe they're the ones that have to be avoided,
And it's no.
.
.
What was it,
Crusoe?
Wasn't he the one to be avoided?
He actually went,
Oh,
Phew wee,
I'm glad I'm away from those guys.
But anyway.
Even just trying to find levels of compassion,
Eh?
Aye,
Maybe if the guys read Robinson Crusoe found levels of compassion,
It might have never happened and we might have never read that tale.
Aye,
I suppose.
So anyway.
.
.
I'll be bumble and worn off.
And the same always goes,
You don't need me mumbling in your ear for you to continue these breathing exercises.
Yeah.
See when you put your key in the door to get in here.
Your apartment,
Your flat.
Even your 10.
Even when you unzip your tent to get into it,
Or even your van door.
Just don't.
Two seconds and breathe in.
Breathe into that pineal gland or where I've probably misguided you to think is your pineal gland.
Fill up that space in your big stain brain,
In your big boulder nut.
And then just release that air down into your heart,
Down into the rest of your organs.
Once or twice.
And you'll probably find your hair a much better day.
Because you are amazing.
You know,
Honestly,
You're magic.
Aye.
Enjoy your day.
Cheers.
Thanks.
