This is a loving-kindness,
Self-compassion meditation.
This exercise is designed to help you find and practice loving-kindness and compassionate phrases that you find deeply meaningful to you.
And we begin by asking a question that may be difficult to answer.
What do I need?
What do I truly need?
What do I need to hear right now in this moment of difficulty?
Imagining that this need,
If it hasn't been fulfilled in any given day,
Your day doesn't feel complete or you feel like something is missing or something's been lost.
And we're aiming for universal human needs.
So things like the need to be validated,
Loved,
Accepted,
Known,
Connected,
Or the need for growth,
Freedom,
Safety.
If you find it challenging to answer this question,
It may help to think of someone that you love,
That you only wish good things for,
Who's going through a difficult time,
And what you might say to them to comfort or soothe them.
And the hope is to generate that same kind of compassionate care to yourself,
Seeing yourself as just as worthy of care and kindness in your difficulty as anybody else that you love.
And truth is we're all human and we all suffer.
We all wish the same things for ourselves,
To be healthy,
To be peaceful,
To be safe,
To be at ease,
To be loved.
And we suffer less when we can generate compassion and kindness towards ourselves when we're encountering challenge.
And it's not giving yourself a pass and it's not self-pity.
It's simply treating yourself the same way that you would someone that you love and wish good things for in moments of struggle.
So just taking a moment here to think about what words you need to hear,
What words would feel soothing and kind,
Just authentic,
Simple,
Clear phrases.
And if you offer them to yourself,
You may feel a sense of gratitude or relief,
Sense of a burden being lifted.
Now we'll try these words in meditation and you can use them just as they are,
Just a simple word or phrase,
Or you can rewrite them as wishes for yourself,
Such as,
May I be courageous,
May I be seen for who I truly am,
May I know that I'm doing my very best.
Bringing this into meditation,
First starting by putting a hand over your heart or wherever it feels comforting or soothing,
Maybe even giving yourself a hug as a reminder to bring not only awareness,
But loving awareness to yourself.
That may not feel right and so no need to do it if it doesn't feel good.
Seeing if you can generate some more warmth towards yourself as you connect to your body,
Bringing your attention to your breath if that feels okay.
If it doesn't,
Then just bring your attention to another part of your body that feels at ease or if that's hard,
That feels neutral,
Releasing the focus from your body and recalling the words that came to mind a few minutes ago.
Begin to offer yourself the phrases or the words that you identified.
Repeat the words over and over,
Letting them encircle you and surround you with words of love and compassion.
Nothing to do,
Nowhere to go,
Just immersing yourself with kind words,
Just letting the heart be at rest.
If you're not finding it restful or helpful to repeat these words,
There's no problem.
Seeing if you can give up the wish to feel anything in particular during the meditation,
Allowing yourself to just rest,
Letting yourself to be just as you are.
But if your mind has wandered and these words are a helpful anchor,
Just gently bring your attention back to those words or phrases and say them to yourself again.
Whenever you're ready,
If you feel like you've given yourself a good opportunity to integrate these phrases and allow them to land,
Slowly untethering from the meditation,
Again,
Allowing the practice to be just what it was,
Allowing yourself to be just as you are.
Consider this exercise to be just the beginning of a search for phrases that are just right for you.
It may take a while to find phrases that work for you,
But it's worth the effort.
Slowly ending this period of practice and reorienting yourself back to the next steps of your day.
