Unconscious Patterns - Life, Lessons, & Laughter 10-25-21

In this LIVE episode of Life, Lessons, & Laughter, I discuss Unconscious Patterns. I'll discuss how these affect our lives and several techniques I've used and guided others to use in order to change these patterns. Recorded live on 10-25-21.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hey,

There I am.

So I just learned something new with StreamYard.

Apparently,

I did not have a cover photo up before because I put one on now and I could not figure out how to undo it.

Anywho,

Here we are.

Welcome.

Send me some comments.

You know how this goes.

I love to know who's watching and who's here.

We're going to be discussing patterns today.

So let's make sure I have my.

OK,

It looks like my privacy is also on my Facebook,

So I should be able to see the comments from Facebook and from YouTube.

So what's happening,

Everybody?

Who's out there?

Who's watching?

Say hi and please bring your your feedback.

And,

You know,

Like I always say,

It's it's even more powerful and helpful when I'm flying solo.

So so,

Yeah.

Send your send your comments.

So I will get right to it.

And today.

Hey,

Buddy,

What's happening?

Nice to nice to cyberly see you kind of.

Yeah,

So today I am talking about patterns.

So the reason I'm talking about patterns is there was a pattern of patterns.

That I noticed.

So what I mean by that was when I talk with my clients,

I see patterns.

And oftentimes there's it's always a different version of a topic.

But often there's similar topics that I discuss with multiple clients,

Like within a one week period.

So I see patterns in the conversations.

And of course,

With with those types of patterns,

There's nothing wrong with those types of patterns.

It's just the way the energy is flowing.

And,

You know,

I think she's my I didn't even have my microphone.

I'm all over the place this night.

I think I'm too relaxed.

I'm not doing what I'm supposed to.

Anyway.

Yeah,

I think we are more alike than we are different.

And I think we're very much more connected than we realize.

You know,

We're so a lot of and you know,

And maybe I don't know.

I mean,

Maybe this is a symptom of that.

Maybe it's not.

You know,

Whatever.

It doesn't really matter.

But like to me,

I see patterns and it happens all the time.

So I think that there's probably something to it.

You know,

I think that the that the energies out there has us working on the same stuff,

You know,

At similar times.

Not all always.

But remember,

Like the way that I work is very deep underneath everything.

Right.

So that's how I can work with many different types of people on many different topics,

Because I don't have specialties in all these different people's lives.

I mean,

I don't you know,

There's topics that I don't have specialties in,

You know,

There's.

So if I needed to be a specialist in every topic that I covered,

I would be in trouble.

You know,

People have for that,

Right.

They have niches because.

Like,

You know,

That way they can really focus on one area and get really good at it.

My niche is going underneath everything.

That's my niche.

So on the surface,

It looks you know,

It can look like all kinds of things.

Very often I'm talking about stuff that I don't really know that much about on the surface as far as the specifics on the surface.

And often,

You know what the people themselves think the problem is because.

But that's just a manifestation of the problem.

The problem is way down underneath.

And there,

You know,

So they they bring me the problem usually with a surface description of it.

And then I look underneath that and go,

Oh,

That's this.

That's this dynamic.

I understand dynamics,

You know,

Mechanics of of how people interact with life.

So it's like,

Oh,

That's a version of this.

Oh,

That's a version of that.

So that's how I work.

So patterns,

I see them all the time.

And there's good patterns and bad patterns.

Today,

I'm talking about unconscious patterns.

You know,

The patterns out,

We're not aware of the patterns that are symptoms of unconscious living.

Very often,

We're not aware of them.

Sometimes we are,

But we don't know how to change them.

So,

You know,

This is why patterns is a big deal.

And when you're learning to live consciously.

Patterns.

If it's like anything,

If you use the situation for your benefit,

Then you're going to benefit.

If you see it as a problem,

It's going to be a problem.

Right.

So so patterns can come in the door as a problem.

But if you use them for your benefit,

Then they're beneficial.

So like when I first got sober,

This this is how it all happened to me.

You know,

So much happened in my first year,

In my first two years.

It was amazing because I was learning how to live life.

In a different way,

You know,

I had lived life one way for 35,

36 years.

And now I'm learning how to live life a new way.

So one of the things that I noticed was patterns.

I was like,

Oh,

My God,

I have all these unconscious patterns.

And I looked at them and I went,

Oh,

My God,

Most of them are horrible.

You know,

Most of these unconscious patterns suck.

So if these unconscious patterns are not good,

They're hurting me,

Then I have to watch out for them.

You know,

So this is where this is one aspect of the patterns that I learned was that,

You know,

If you're going to live consciously,

You don't want to live unconsciously.

Right.

So you don't want to just fall on habitual patterns.

We're very habitual beings.

So and society in many areas is so structured and controlled that we can just kind of form habits around almost everything.

You know,

You get up and you brush your teeth and you take a shower and you go to work and you go the same way and you drive the same car and you get there at the same time.

And you come home,

It's the same way at the same time and you sleep on the same side of the bed and like,

You know,

And it's Taco Tuesday and,

You know,

Wednesday's Prince spaghetti day.

You know,

Like all this stuff.

So it's like it can be so habitual.

And that's how we drop into unconsciousness,

Because we're not really exercising our our our freedom of thought and choice.

We're not we're not exercising that we're just going,

You know,

One day after another in a repeated pattern.

So with me,

I was looking I had to learn how to.

But in the beginning,

The first two things that I remember were taken taking a day off from work.

I didn't know how to do that responsibly and missing an AA meeting because back then I was going to AA meetings on a regular basis.

And,

You know,

What they teach you in AA,

Which is is helpful,

Especially when you're first getting sober,

Is that like,

You know,

You need to go to AA meetings regularly.

And if you don't feel like going to one,

That's probably when you really need one.

You know,

Because,

I mean,

Let's be honest,

That's what addicts and alcoholics do.

They,

You know,

They,

Oh,

I don't feel like going to a meeting.

Then they skip a meeting.

And,

Yeah,

Why don't they feel like going to one?

Well,

Because they're starting to get into their head,

Think crappy thoughts.

They're probably lethargic.

They don't feel like doing anything,

Especially something that's good for them.

And it can be the beginning of a bad road.

Right.

So they teach you that.

I took that very seriously,

Like a lot of things I learned back then.

And then one day after a while,

I was like,

I think I should be able to skip a meeting like every once in a while.

I mean,

I think if I'm supposed to have contented sobriety and be in control of my own life,

Like I shouldn't have to go to a meeting all the time,

No matter what.

Like it should be humanly possible to not feel like going to a meeting and not be heading down a dark road.

Like those two don't have to go hand in hand here.

So and,

You know,

So I,

I just want to find that's something I was playing with.

So I'm like,

OK,

Can I do this?

And so what I did is that is I looked back at my past and I went,

Where did I go wrong?

And where I went wrong was when I went into patterns.

So if I went to if I skipped an AA meeting and then I felt like skipping another one,

It was that much easier to skip another one and then I'd skip another one and then I'd be heading down a bad road.

So I'm like,

OK,

I don't think it's skipping one meeting if I really don't feel like it.

And I'm in good headspace and everything.

And I just don't feel like going to a meeting.

I don't think that's the problem.

I think the problem is,

Is that it makes it easy to drop into patterns of skipping meetings.

So what I did is I made a deal.

I said,

OK,

You don't have to go to a meeting tonight,

But no matter what,

You have to go to one.

I don't remember how long it was the next two months or the next three months.

Every time you're supposed to have a go to a meeting,

You have to go to a meeting no matter what.

No matter how bad you feel,

No matter how much you don't want to go,

No matter what,

Because that way you won't drop into an unconscious pattern of negative behavior.

So that's what I did.

And it worked great.

And I did the same thing with taking a day off from work.

I didn't know how to take time off responsibly.

Like,

You know,

My first year when I get sober at my first job,

They sent me a paycheck and my year anniversary because I had never taken a day off.

So they sent me a paycheck for a week's.

Pay on top of my regular pay.

So I called them up and I'm like,

Hey,

I think you made a mistake,

You know,

Because I have to live honestly.

Right.

So I call them up.

I'm like,

I think you made a mistake.

You already paid me this week and you sent me another week.

And they're like,

Well,

Yeah,

You just passed your year anniversary and you didn't take your vacation.

So that's your vacation.

That's how we do it.

I was like,

Oh,

My God.

You know,

Like that had never happened to me in my life.

I mean,

You know,

I was an alcoholic since I was a teenager.

So I there was never a job that I ever had in those years that I didn't take all my vacation time.

You know,

I mean,

Hell,

You know.

So so this was a big thing.

So I'm like,

OK,

How do I take a day off responsibly?

Because if I you know,

I'll fall into an unconscious pattern here and I'll and I'll take a day off and I'll feel good and I'll take another one.

I'll take another one.

And then I'll you know,

I'll if I have five,

I'll go right through them.

And then six months from now,

I'll get sick or something.

And I won't have any time because I took off all my vacation.

So I was like,

OK,

Well,

You can take a day now,

But don't take another one for three months or whatever.

So,

You know,

I just made conscious rules to make sure I didn't drop into unconscious patterns to control my behavior.

You see,

And it gave myself I gave myself permission to to be in control of my own life just to but not fall into negative unconscious patterns.

You see,

So this is how I learned how to live responsibly.

So you take that's the mentality of one of the mentalities I'm going to discuss tonight.

And,

You know,

What you can do is you can use that in different situations.

You know how to bring in and activate your freedom of choice,

Activate your freedom,

Just your freedom,

Right?

Like just to to to have control over what you do and what you don't do,

But in a responsible way.

Like one thing,

You know,

I can still feel this to this day.

But I'm aware of it.

So it's not a problem.

But spending.

And I mean,

Amazon does not help with this because it's so easy to spend.

And you can spend two dollars and you can spend fifty two dollars and you can spend one hundred and two dollars and spend a thousand two dollars.

And it's like so so like you can rationalize stuff and it's there the next day.

You don't there's not a lot of thought going into it.

Right.

So so like with spending,

I notice patterns.

I'll still feel it.

I'll be like,

Oh,

I you know,

I haven't bought anything for a while.

I need a few things.

The list is accrued.

So now that I have several things.

I think now's a good time.

OK,

I'm going to buy some things,

But I pay attention.

OK,

Be careful for the patterns.

You know,

And what happens is,

Oh,

Right after that order goes in and I'm in the D.

R.

So sometimes it's before often it's before I even get the packages over here because it takes so much longer.

And I'm like,

Oh,

I need those three things,

Too.

Well,

I need.

And it's not much money,

So I might as well,

You know,

And then all I need those.

I need two more things.

Oh,

Oh,

Did you say you needed that?

That's right.

I was going to order you something.

OK,

I'll order that for you.

I need that.

OK.

And then and next thing you know,

I put in five orders in two weeks.

You know,

All these packages are coming in.

So that's a pattern.

But like what I do is I make sure I'm conscious of it.

I make sure I'm aware of it.

And then,

You know,

Like one of one of two things happens.

It either stops automatically just because I'm conscious of it or it just keeps feeding.

And if it keeps feeding,

I see that it's go like every time I put in an order,

It's like,

Then be careful now,

You know,

Be conscious.

You just put in an order.

You just put in two other orders.

So you are aware that you're doing this,

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

OK.

You know,

And that's really all it takes to keep it in the forefront of my mind.

And then if I have to draw a line,

I draw a line.

And all of a sudden it's like,

OK,

You know,

I don't give a crap.

I've bought too much stuff.

And like there's no there's no I don't need anything.

I'll learn to live unless it's food,

Which I don't order on Amazon.

I get it over here.

Then I don't need it to live.

So I'll be fine.

You know,

And then I just won't buy anything for a certain period of time to break that pattern.

You know,

Break that monotony,

Break,

Break that habitual behavior that that is somewhat unconscious.

It's it's a little bit even if I'm aware of it,

It's it's a little bit unconscious because it has a pull.

You know,

It has a pull like that.

There's no way.

And the reason I know that it has a pull,

Even though I'm conscious of it,

Is because it has to like it.

It can't it's literally impossible to be coincidence that every time I buy something,

I suddenly need more.

Every time.

Come on.

That's or almost every time.

You know,

Whatever.

That's that's not that's not a coincidence.

That's a pattern.

So that's what I look out for.

You know,

Patterns are a symptom in this this type of pattern that I'm talking about is a symptom of unconscious living.

Which is.

Which is driven by something other than us.

And that's not OK with me.

No,

I don't want anything other than me controlling my life.

You know,

That's so I kind of I kind of stand up to it because of that.

I don't want some unconscious pattern control in my life.

So,

Yeah,

We can do this.

So,

You know,

That's kind of the surface stuff and some of the.

I just want to explain the dynamics of it a little bit.

So.

You know,

But the stuff I've talked about so far is fairly simple.

It's not it's not mind blowingly difficult.

It's not you know,

I mean,

It's not probably not going to destroy your life unless you have a shopping addiction or something.

But but and addictions,

You know,

Patterns,

It's a symptom of unconscious living and it can be a symptom of an addiction.

So like if we go into the bigger ones,

Like what's what's some bigger?

Patterns,

Relationships,

You know,

People end up dating the same type of person.

They break up with them.

They go find another one.

Look just like them.

Or they look a little different,

But they act the same,

You know,

Or they're always with somebody like for three months and then break up.

Or like with me,

With jobs,

When I was working jobs,

I didn't like like I had a three year max.

And that was there was symptoms of that back into when I was drinking to there were there were a lot of things that could only last three years.

Like I very rarely did like every once in a while,

I'd break out of it would be a real weird situation where I lived in the same place or worked in the same place or did something the same for like five years.

And that was like,

Oh,

My God,

You know,

Wow,

This is big because that's just how my life was back then.

You know,

Well,

I guess it kind of still is to some degree,

But this stuff that's important,

That's no longer a barrier.

I think it was an unconscious barrier before.

Now it's like,

You know,

I I've the most important things that I've done in my life.

I have no problems with with timeframes.

They don't control me.

You know,

That's why I don't think it's a problem because it's not an unconscious pattern.

So whenever I need to do something longer than three or five years or whatever,

You know,

Whatever a pattern might be,

I do so like staying sober.

Obviously,

That's over 18 years now,

Raising my son,

You know,

Being a consistent presence in his life.

I mean,

Again,

Over 18 years,

I mean,

You know,

Because I can't count the first three and a half years of his life or,

You know,

Something like that.

First three.

Well,

I mean,

The beginning,

The first nine months I was there consistently.

I mean,

Physically,

You know,

I was struggling.

And then after that,

I visited them here and there.

But like,

It wasn't consistent.

You know,

I don't really qualify that even though I was in his life a little here and there and very much in the first nine months of his life.

I don't even count that because it was like there was no I wasn't in control of my behaviors.

So the 18 years of one once I get sober being in his life again.

So it's the sobriety,

The parenting,

My business now,

Obviously,

It's been I don't even know I don't keep track.

You know,

It's got to be around 10 years that I've been in business now.

So so that as well.

So I don't worry about that.

But but these are some of the bigger ones,

You know,

Like the these are the ones that you hear people complain about.

And you hear because they can be conscious of them.

And that's not enough to change them.

Like they'll still repeat these patterns,

You know,

So relationship patterns are often difficult to break.

Things like some people dread the holidays.

You know,

The holidays are starting to get close.

You know,

Every year they dread the holidays.

It's like,

You know,

These unconscious behaviors.

You can you can change them trying to change your career.

You know,

The bigger things in life.

It's the the dynamic is the same.

You know,

The dynamic is the same in patterns.

This is what I was talking about at the beginning.

Like the dynamics is what I understand.

So it doesn't matter to me.

And and maybe like some of you guys listening might think like,

Why the hell is he talking about skipping an AA meeting and breaking a pattern or taking a day out of work?

This is not benefiting me.

Like this is stupid little personal Glenn stuff that I don't care about.

Well,

The reason that I talk about that stuff is because it's it's the dynamics and everything are the same.

You know,

I say this constantly.

The dynamics is is what controls us.

The dynamics is why we do things,

How we do things.

You know,

That's so if you understand that doesn't matter the topic.

So people like,

Well,

You know,

I don't care that that that Glenn was trying to skip an AA meeting 17 years ago.

I don't care.

It's like it's not about that.

It's about the dynamics of the situation,

About controlling your life.

So if you understand dynamics and you understand patterns,

You can change them.

You know,

You don't have to live like that.

So if you understand the dynamics of a pattern in relationships.

Or a career.

You all that's completely different.

No,

It's exactly the same.

And it's the problem is,

Is that it's bigger,

Like so we complicate it in our heads,

Make it more complicated.

It's not more complicated.

It may be harder to break.

It might be harder to change.

But that's just because it's harder.

It's not because it's different.

It's because it's bigger.

It's not small.

But that's it's still the same dynamics.

You know,

That's the beauty of it.

It's like that's how I give myself the courage to make the bigger changes is because you if you're standing up to a big.

You know,

Life altering pattern that's that's really just sucking the life out of you.

And you go as long as you're looking at it like,

Oh,

My God,

This is very complicated and this is a big deal and this isn't easy and this is hard.

And all this stuff that we tell ourselves,

Then you're going to stay stuck,

You know.

So the way one of the ways that I give myself the courage to change things is by looking at it from a dynamic perspective.

The dynamics are the same.

It's very simple.

Life is very simple.

It's not it's it's not always easy,

But it is very simple.

So so if you're going to change something small,

It's simple.

It might be easy,

Too,

Because it's small.

But then you go to change something big.

Well,

It's still just as simple.

It might be a little harder.

It might take more effort,

A little more energy,

A little more stick to it.

Because it's a larger energy topic.

But it's still the same dynamic.

So you can look at something small and go,

Well,

If I can do it there,

I can do it here.

And it's true.

You can if you can do it.

It's very simple.

You're just doing a simple thing.

You know,

Like like picture it like tying your shoelace,

Right?

Tying your shoelace is very simple.

Once you learn,

Of course,

It's not it's not simple for a kid.

But once you learn and you've been doing it for years,

It's very simple.

And your fingers get used to the size of the strings.

You know,

They're small and you just tie.

And it's just simple.

And you just do it without even thinking.

Now,

If somebody brings you over a rope and says,

Hey,

I need you to tie it a knot in this.

You go,

What?

Like a big rope like that's like that thick or that thick around like this big rope.

How am I going to tie a knot?

Just not.

It's not a big deal.

I just need it the same way as you tie your shoes.

Oh,

OK.

Well,

Then it's like,

Well,

I know how to do that.

You know,

It's it's going to be harder because it's this big rope that I need to make these huge loops with.

And,

You know,

Do the I have to make the bunny ears and then go around,

You know,

Or whatever it is.

And it's like,

You know,

Yeah,

It takes a little extra effort.

You might have to think a little bit more and really apply yourself.

But you know what you're doing.

It's simple.

So you're going to accomplish that task.

It's the same thing in life.

If you can make changes and simple little patterns in your everyday life,

You can make changes in the big patterns in your life.

It's just as simple.

It just takes a little bit more effort.

That's it.

And everything is like that,

Not just patterns,

You know.

So it's a nice way to simplify things and and.

Prevent our ego and our mind from like getting in there and going like,

Oh,

Well,

This is really hard and I don't know if you can do it and blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

All that crap that our brain tells us to keep us stuck.

Right.

So that's a good way to help.

So if you're if you're trying to change these things,

You know,

Identify what the pattern is and then set up a rule so you don't do it.

Like,

I mean,

Like relationships,

So relationships might be the most difficult one,

Although the job thing can be difficult.

You know,

Like I think what you need to do is is get clarity first and then it's simple and then you can implement the other strategies.

See,

The problem with relationships and jobs is we don't have clarity a lot of times.

So this is there's a chapter in my book that I put like three steps to solving any problem.

So let's see if I can remember them.

I haven't gone for them in a while.

Identify what the problem is.

Identify what the solution is and implement that solution.

That's it.

Three steps.

Very simple.

Can solve any problem,

But you can't skip any of them.

So you identify what the problem is.

Oh,

Well,

I have a repeating pattern in relationships that looks like this.

OK,

So how can you break that?

You got to identify what the solution is,

You know,

And that solution might be doing some self work.

If if you're if you don't feel safe and you run.

Like out of a out of a like let's say you have abandonment issues or you don't feel safe for some reason,

Opening up fully or,

You know,

Whatever.

So you just end relationships every three months or six months or a year,

Whatever.

And you want to break that pattern.

Well,

If you if you're aware of it and you know it's coming.

Well,

Then when those feelings start coming up,

You know not to believe them and you work through them.

You know,

And I mean,

Of course,

Some of this stuff can be more helpful with some with,

You know,

Working with a life coach or something to gain clarity on what you're actually trying to work through.

But you might not even need to do that.

You might just be able to do it that way.

Like,

Well,

I keep ending relationships too quickly.

OK,

Don't end it.

Your life is your laboratory,

Your relationship is your experiment.

Stay in it and try to work through things.

Don't end it when when it just feels uncomfortable.

And quite often that's actually enough.

In many situations.

Now that can,

You know,

Depending on the depth of your issue,

If there's a really deep issue underneath that needs some attention,

It's going to bring it right up to the surface.

And then now you might need to go get help on that.

But you didn't end the relationship.

You broke that pattern.

You know,

So sometimes doing this type of stuff brings up to the surface what the deeper problem is that's causing you into this pattern.

So it's beneficial in that way as well.

What do you guys think about that?

I need a little drink.

Fresh coconut water.

It's awesome.

Let me see what else I was going to talk about.

Yeah,

You can do this with behavior,

Behavioral changes in your life,

Poor meditations,

Anything,

Anything you can do this with.

You know,

Bring more consciousness to what you're doing.

So really,

This is about enacting your power of choice.

Our power of choice.

So like our society,

Like I was saying earlier,

Is so consistent and so segmented.

Like we think that the way we live life,

The way in developed countries especially,

You know,

Of course,

I'm from the United States and now living in the DR,

I see so many things that were unconscious in my life that I didn't even know about.

You know,

Living in the United States,

And I mean,

Some of it is,

You know,

Just stopping at the grocery store all the time and order,

You know,

Ordering stuff on Amazon,

Having it there the next day or just stopping by a store or like there's no thought in anything.

We just do stuff.

Everything is so convenient.

Like if your car needs to get fixed,

You know,

Bringing it to the mechanic and you actually expect it to be fixed.

When you pick it up and to have no more problems.

Well,

It's not like that everywhere in the world.

It's not like that over here.

You know,

Having an electrician come out.

That's a crapshoot over here.

I mean,

You know that you might get a good one,

You might not,

They might fix the problem,

They might not,

They might talk about the problem and leave and never do anything like you like nothing is guaranteed over here.

And it makes you realize when you're in the States,

How much is taken for granted over there that we just do unconsciously.

Right.

And I'm not saying that all of it's bad.

I mean,

I would love to have a good mechanic over here.

I think I might.

I think I have one.

So we'll see.

But,

But anyway,

Like the unconscious patterns,

We have to understand that there's a lot of stuff in our lives that we're not even aware of.

So implementing our power of choice is huge.

We have freedom of choice.

We have freedom to live our lives,

To be who we want to be,

To eat what we want to eat,

To go where we want to go.

We have all these freedoms and we don't even take advantage of them.

You know,

We just fall into habitual patterns because they're safe and comfortable and it's like,

Oh,

That's just so boring.

I mean,

It's not a way to live life.

It's just not.

And I mean,

I am completely at the stage of life I am in right now.

I'm all about grace and ease.

I'm all about taking it easy,

Allowing flow to come to me and go and peacefulness and all that stuff.

I mean,

I still have my adventurous side.

You know,

I'll still go skydiving or parasailing or jump out of an airplane or jump off a waterfall or whatever.

Like I still like doing those things every once in a while because,

You know,

I've always had that little adrenaline junkie side so I can feed that every once in a while.

But I don't do that stuff all the time.

You know,

I still have a regular life and I really try to live it consciously and not fall into complete patterns every day.

You know,

This is why I like my schedule.

I mean,

Usually I'm working one week and I have a week off.

So I'm just kind of,

You know,

What should I do today?

I don't know.

Nothing.

Maybe I'll just do nothing today.

Yeah,

That feels right.

Okay.

And then I just don't do anything that day.

I did that basically today.

For some reason,

Which I don't often like doing this,

I started playing with graphics on Spark Post and making posts for my social media today.

And I got into it.

It's weird.

So I don't usually get into it.

But I did.

So I just did that for a while.

Did I need to do that?

No,

I didn't need to do it.

But today was I don't feel like doing anything specific.

So I'll just do whatever I feel like.

So most of the day,

I just sat on my front porch and played on my phone,

Doing nothing.

Talking to the dog.

And then go down to the river for a swim and bring the soap and take a shower and jump in and give the dog a bath and come back up.

I just didn't do anything.

It's frickin' Monday.

So whatever I have scheduled for things that I could do today,

I'll move it to tomorrow or the next day,

Whatever.

I know that not everybody has the ability to do that in their lives,

But that's not what I'm talking about.

Again,

You know,

Hopefully the people that listen to me do this because if they don't,

You're not going to get a hell of a lot out of what I say because I do bring my personal life into these talks very often.

So like what am I talking about?

I mean,

Hopefully this is something I learned in recovery right off the bat.

It was identify,

Don't compare.

That's what they,

That's the terminology that they use.

So what that means is when you go into a meeting,

You want to try to identify with the speaker.

Usually you can identify with a speaker by the energy that they're talking about.

The subject matter,

The feelings.

Like you can connect with somebody over that stuff.

You can find similarities.

You can identify with it.

Oh,

I felt like that.

I've thought like that.

I've been in a situation kind of similar to that.

But if you compare,

If you go into meetings and you compare,

Which is like,

Oh,

Well,

They crashed up five cars.

I only crashed up one.

Well,

They're divorced.

Well,

I'm not divorced or their kids won't talk to them.

My kids still talk to me.

That's comparing.

And you're,

You're,

You're never going to get the point of what people are talking about if you're comparing specifics.

So don't compare specifics.

What like when I'm talking about stuff,

Try to understand the dynamic of the stuff that I'm talking about.

You know what I mean?

So like,

Look for the point.

What's the point?

What's the point in what she's saying?

Oh,

Like he fell into an unconscious pattern here.

Well,

I fall into unconscious patterns here.

If you're comparing the two specific patterns,

Most like you can't,

You're not going to live my life.

So just because I'm in the D.

R.

And I'm talking about how I lived my day today and you go,

Well,

I don't have the luxury of sitting on my ass on a Monday and doing anything.

Lucky Glenn.

Well,

That's comparing.

It's not about sitting on your ass on a Monday.

It's about sitting on your ass whenever you can sit on your ass.

That's what it's about.

If you have zero free time,

Well,

Start scaling back because you should.

So like when you have free time,

You can start claiming that time and do what you want with it.

And you don't have to go skydiving or climb on waterfalls or do any of the things that I do.

Right.

You just do what you want to do.

It's it.

You know,

We have we have a brain.

We have freedom of choice.

That is an overlooked superpower.

You know,

Like this is the way there's so many opportunities to do so many things in this world to take up a hobby,

To to just bring joy into your life in some way,

Shape or form.

And the only way you're going to bring more joy,

More joyful things,

Enjoy doing more things in your life is if you live consciously and you go choose to do them.

That's what I'm talking about.

If you're living by patterns all the time and you're just just going with the next habitual thing and all.

Well,

You know,

We always go to Applebee's on frickin Tuesday's.

So,

You know,

We're going to Applebee's,

You know,

Mix it up,

Man.

Go to Outback.

Just give it a shot.

You know,

Try a blooming frickin onion or something.

Just mix it up.

So so really our freedom of choice is is a very important,

Wonderful,

Amazing freedom giving,

Loving,

Wonderful thing to take advantage of in this lifetime.

So take advantage of it.

You know,

Brush your teeth with your left hand.

I think I think Michael Bernard Beckwith was talking about this at one point,

You know,

Sleep on the opposite side of the bed one night.

Take a different way to to work or home.

You know,

Why?

Just because.

That's why.

Just just to activate that freedom of choice.

Just to do something different.

You know,

Try something different when you go out to eat,

Whatever.

You know,

This is it's really a big.

A big part of our lives is our choice.

So now I'm going to take that dynamic.

Yeah,

Just because,

Louise.

Thanks for chiming in.

I appreciate that.

So I'm going to take that dynamic and try to pull it into bigger things.

You know,

I was just kind of talking about little things.

So when you're in these like I saw myself in a pattern of.

Like it.

Well,

There was there was kind of two of them,

But I'll just I'll pick one for that so I can make a example for you guys.

So there was this example years ago when I struggled with money and I needed to do spiritual finance work.

Really,

To understand what my unconscious beliefs were about money.

So it took some effort,

But I needed to dive in and do that work so I can come out of this,

Because what I was seeing was a pattern.

I was like it would hit me somewhere around,

I think,

Either the end of December or January ish,

December or January,

Somewhere in there,

Maybe before Christmas,

Maybe after Christmas.

I don't know.

Even if it had anything to do with Christmas.

But like there was this one time.

Oh,

Hey.

Hey,

Rick.

Thanks for joining.

Thank you.

So there was this pattern that I saw and it was yearly and I would end up really frustrated and overwhelmed with my finances at the you know,

This certain time of year.

And I would kind of pseudo work on it and then nothing would happen and it would come and pseudo work on it and nothing would happen and then pseudo work on it.

And this happened for years,

You know,

And then finally one year I was just looking at this pattern and it was so frustrating because I couldn't break out of it.

And,

You know,

A friend told me something that was helpful,

Which helped kind of kickstart me out of it was I was like,

This is the same pattern.

It's the same pattern I see over and over again,

Year after year after year,

And I'm living a spiritual existence,

Doing everything that I can and I cannot freakin break this pattern.

Like I'm supposed to be spiritual.

I'm supposed to be conscious.

And I don't even know if I am because I can't freakin break.

So I was very frustrated,

You know,

And I was like I'm at the same place,

So that that's the key I kept seeing myself at the same place at every year.

I'm at the same place,

I'm at the same place,

Same place.

And the,

What my friend told me was,

You're,

You're not.

It looks the same,

There's similarities and there's obviously a pattern that you need to break out of but you're not at the same place,

Because I've seen you grow over the last year.

You have another year's worth of experience.

You have another year's worth of frustration,

Which is even more motivating to change,

Just that in itself,

Even if you didn't work on yourself right,

But most of us listen to this stuff are working on ourselves.

So whatever we've done to try to work on ourselves for the past year,

When you know it looks like we're back at the same spot we're not back at the same spot.

That's what our ego tells us to keep us stuck.

This is a big egoic concept that when we shatter it's really helpful.

So it's,

That's,

It's kind of its last leg.

Our ego will tell us all kinds of things to keep us stuck along the way,

But then at the end of the day,

It can just kind of scrub everything off and go,

Look you're at the same place.

And you go,

Yes I am,

Damn it.

You know,

But you're not at the same place because you're not the same person.

You're much more capable.

You're more capable because of the work that you've done.

You're more capable because of the frustrations that you've experienced so you have more of that energy pushing you into a different direction.

So,

Like,

This is,

And like that for me.

It wasn't just that but that was really the beginning of me going,

Oh yeah,

And just finally go finally going like you know I learned to be in charge of my own life instead of allowing my egos thoughts to control my life in many many many ways.

And I got very very good at it.

This was like the last straw,

I needed to really swipe away my ego with its,

With its,

You know,

Whole sweep away of everything you did in the last year didn't matter because you're in the same spot.

I had to that that was like the egos last stand and I had to look at it and go no,

No,

Not in the same spot I'm much more capable.

I learned over this last year.

And now all sudden,

See as I'm doing this like I can feel the energy difference,

I don't know if you guys can,

But when you start taking control away from your ego and not believing it's lies and reclaiming your power.

So you go no I'm not the same person.

No,

I'm not in the same place.

It might look similar.

But I'm stronger.

I'm better.

I've learned more.

And I'm going to break out of this now all sudden I'm claiming that power and that last argument that had didn't have any power over me.

So now I doubled down,

You know,

And then I could really implement the spiritual finance work that I had learned and I broke out of that pattern.

You know,

But this is how we break out of difficult patterns by reclaiming our power,

Not believing the BS,

Knowing that we conscious living we have more control over our own lives than some unconscious pattern or any external anything coming in,

In at us.

Let me just see if there's anything else I want to touch on.

That was that was really it.

It's,

It's,

This is,

This is where I actually took.

I actually took some notes.

Which makes me laugh.

See,

I did that.

I broke out of a pattern I never I just go by the on the fly all the time and here I am I took,

I actually took some notes.

So,

So I have something to refer to when when my brain shuts down on a point,

You know,

And I know I'm going to be wrapping up soon so I just want to check.

And this is it.

This is the,

Our power of choice.

It is like a superpower,

When we activate it,

You know,

And we can activate it in simple,

Simple ways of our lives,

Like,

When I was when I was dating this,

This woman,

Many years ago this was like 12 years ago I think like,

I didn't like I can find something to eat anywhere.

I really can.

And I don't mind trying new things so that's cool too and she had really good taste in food and.

And so it was like she,

You know,

It was the typical relationship conversation Hey what do you want to eat,

I don't know what do you want to eat,

I don't know,

You know that.

And then,

Like she got sick of it because I really didn't care.

Or no.

And she's like,

Will you just have a preference.

Please just have a preference.

And it made me think I'm like,

I don't,

I literally don't know what I want to eat.

I'm so out of touch with myself and my own preferences that I don't even know what I want to eat.

So what I did to break out of that and bring my preferences back up because this is something that this is something that's it's it's in alignment with what we're talking about.

We're so disconnected from our freedom of choice that sometimes it's hard to find it.

Somebody goes,

Well,

What would you like to do.

I literally don't know.

I have no idea.

I don't know what I want to do.

Why,

Because we never do what we want to do.

We're not in touch with that part of us.

We're not even in touch with our preferences what we would like to eat.

So I literally start practicing that.

So every meal I would sit there and I'd be like,

I put my attention on my body I'd be like,

What do I feel like eating.

Do I feel like eating Italian.

Do I feel like eating.

Some Indian food like curries.

Do I feel like eating something spicy like tacos.

So,

And I would pay attention to how I felt.

And at first I didn't feel anything after practicing that and just slowing down and paying attention to how I felt like a lot of times I don't feel anything,

And this is across the board,

When it's what I don't want.

And when it is something I do want I feel this slight pleasurable sensation,

Well that that happens in,

In,

I think with food more.

Anyway,

A lot of times it's actually the opposite of that,

I'd say more often than not it's the opposite of that I don't really feel too much for what I do want.

But when I,

When I say something I don't want I feel a little either a little.

I mean,

The slightest hint of like nausea,

Or just tightness in my chest or something very very minimal sensations,

But if I'm paying attention I'll notice that me like no,

Not that not that not that.

Oh,

Well maybe this one.

Yeah.

Then I think about it a little more,

And then also my feel this little spark of joy.

Oh,

I think I would like that.

Oh,

And that's actually how I got back in touch with my preferences to figure out what I actually want because I was so far removed from implementing my freedom of choice in a lot of ways that I literally didn't know what I wanted.

Yes,

Yes Louise energy testing is good for that and it's good for I do energy testing on everything.

I do.

I like most people do and we don't even know we're doing it like I did.

I've been doing energy testing,

Probably my whole life and I didn't even know I was doing it.

And most people are too.

So we can you the more we do it,

The better we get at,

You know,

Somebody says something to me sometime that's out of character I just,

I just lock on to them for a half a second.

And I can tell whether it's like an attacking energy,

Or if it's a sarcastic energy,

Or if that,

Or it's just discombobulated like they just weren't really paying attention to what they were saying.

And they've got 13 things on their mind that type of energy,

You know,

Like,

They can just kind of do that in a second,

And you can know.

You know it becomes second nature after a while.

So,

So implement your freedom of choice,

You know,

It's not just nothing.

It's actually something,

And it's empowering and it's enjoyable.

And it's fun doing the stuff that you like,

You know,

If you don't know what you like,

It's time for you to start doing this,

You know,

And you can start out small it's,

You know,

Noticing patterns break them.

Make sure your,

Your life isn't a pattern.

You know,

And if there is a negative pattern that's going on empower yourself to break out of it.

You know,

It's just a pattern man it's an unconscious pattern like you are way more powerful than that.

So no matter what it is you can break out of it.

And if you need a little help we all need help every once in a while this is,

You know,

I mean,

A lot of this stuff we can do ourselves but we all need help.

We're supposed to be in community helping one another.

And especially in the developed countries there's not so much of that anymore and it,

You know,

It's a problem.

People think that they're supposed to be able to do things themselves all the time and go,

You know,

I always say,

Go stick a person on a deserted island for three years and go pick them up he's frickin lunatic paint faces on volleyball's,

You know why because we're not supposed to be stuck inside of our heads the whole time we're supposed to be able to talk stuff out,

Get different perspectives that can help us.

You know,

And so we all need each other.

We all need each other.

So lean on each other.

Lean on me if you need me.

You know,

So that's my unconscious patterns talk.

We just have to live on purpose,

You know,

You can't throw a stick without hitting somebody teaching mindfulness consciousness,

The power of now presence whatever it's all the same thing.

Why,

Why is everybody teaching is because it's important.

We don't make mistakes,

You know,

We don't our lives,

Like,

If you're living consciously you don't wake up 10 years later and go how did I get here.

You do that when you're living unconsciously,

You know,

We don't make bad choices,

Consciously we make bad choices unconsciously.

We live in patterns that we don't like unconsciously.

So bringing consciousness in on any level,

Trying to figure out what you want to eat.

You know,

Like I said,

Brushing your teeth with your left hand whatever just choosing something different.

It actually starts making you feel alive it starts sparking that life force that creative flow that's within all of us and also it's you know it's not about,

You know,

Oh,

I have to eat it's 530.

No,

It's,

It's about.

I want to eat,

It's a joyful question.

You know,

Like,

What would I enjoy.

Yeah,

You know you're getting back in touch with your joy.

So you can implement this in all areas.

Please do.

Thank you for watching.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for joining us,

Rick.

I appreciate it.

And we will talk with you.

Hey,

Most likely it's going to be next Monday usually,

You know,

There's variations here there but usually I'm pretty standard with the,

When the Mondays at 6pm Eastern so so tune in.

Thank you guys.

And I am going to hopefully sign off properly because I was having that trouble.

Earlier,

Finding myself.

All right,

Take care of my peace.

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Reviews

Absolutely Amazing! My 1st listen to you whilst quieting my negativity chatterbox!
Boy, am I grateful, to both you and the Universe for some much needed relatable chat n laughter... "Go eat an onion" Hahaha. Hilarious 💕

Really enjoyed this podcast about being aware and conscious.
Good points about being the change we want to be….
Thank you.