Toxic Masculinity - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

In this episode, I discuss all aspects of masculine and feminine energies with a focus on toxic masculinity. We dive into the difference between positive and negative masculine energies as well as positive and negative feminine energies to better understand what these things are, what we want to keep, what we want to get rid of, and what a healthy balance looks like.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons & Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hey,

Welcome to the show,

Everybody.

It's probably evening time for you guys,

But good morning.

I woke up recently,

So I've got little bags under my eyes,

Man.

Maybe I need more sleep.

I don't know.

So,

Anyway,

Today we're talking about toxic masculinity.

And,

You know,

Something that was interesting,

I was like,

Yeah,

I'll do a podcast on that.

And this morning I started thinking about it,

And I was like,

Yeah,

I think I'm going to hop on and record a podcast about that.

And I figure what I'll do is just hop on the internet,

And I'm going to just kind of look for some examples of toxic masculinity.

You know,

So I just have a list right in front of me.

And I start clicking on the things that come up in the Google search,

And I was actually surprised.

You know,

It's,

I mean,

What all the articles and all the things talk about technically is toxic masculinity,

But it's not really what I had in mind.

A lot of it is really specific and surfacy,

Which,

You know,

To some degree that's good,

I guess,

Because it's going to help people relate to specific examples in their life,

You know,

Especially if they're kind of not into going deeper,

Which,

You know,

Let's face it,

You know,

Most of us,

Me included at times,

I try not to,

But we live on the surface.

We live,

You know,

Just at what we see going on.

You know,

We don't usually look underneath what's going on.

So that's,

And I like as much as possible to look at what,

You know,

Underneath what's going on.

So I'll give you examples so you guys can both,

You know,

See both aspects and also what I'm talking about now.

So from the sources that I'm finding online,

The examples of toxic masculinity are aggression,

Sexual assault,

Dominance,

Emotional repression,

Homophobia,

Taking risks,

Bullying,

Domestic violence,

Lack of behavioral control,

Needing to dominate or control others,

Not displaying emotion.

And of course,

You know,

What are the chances,

But those,

Some of those were actually more broad than most of the other lists that I was looking at or deeper I'll say,

You know,

Because those are the terms I'm using.

So some of those were actually kind of good.

They're,

They're a little bit deeper.

A lot of the lists that I'm seeing were even more surface-y than that.

Let's see if I can find another one.

No,

It's not really populating.

Yeah.

Like,

Like here's some,

Like being stoic,

Being promiscuous,

You know,

That type of stuff.

It's like,

That's so surface-y.

Like that,

To me,

That's,

That's a result of toxic masculinity as opposed to toxic masculinity.

But like I said,

Both types of lists serve a purpose.

So,

You know,

I'm going to dive into,

Like from my,

My book in chapter 34,

I just explain feminine and masculine energies and the difference between the two.

I didn't go into toxic masculinity per se.

So,

You know,

I'm going to read off some of the masculine energy doing as opposed to being,

You know,

Some of this is going to make sense if I read the feminine energy.

So,

Yeah,

What I'll do is I'll just read the masculine versus the feminine.

So you can see the difference.

And I think it'll help you guys understand what is meant by these one word things in masculine energy better.

So this is just masculine energy versus feminine energy.

It's not necessarily toxic masculine energy.

Okay.

So toxic masculine energy,

Just,

You know,

I kind of got to clarify before I go into it.

Toxic masculine and masculine energy is the negative version of masculine energy.

So we have masculine energy and we have feminine energy and we have positive masculine energy and we have negative masculine energy and we have positive feminine energy and we have negative feminine energy.

Okay.

And as a general rule,

It's kind of when we go too far with it,

You know,

Everything is about balance.

So if we're balancing that,

If we're in the middle,

The middle is the way,

Right?

So if we're balancing,

We don't go too far in one direction,

Then it stays positive.

It has positive attributes.

If we go too far in the direction and we don't look at the other side at all,

That's when it gets toxic.

So,

Geez,

Maybe I should do one on toxic feminine energy,

Too.

You know,

Anyway,

We're going to stick with this.

So masculine energy versus feminine energy,

Doing versus being aggression versus surrender,

Analytical versus intuitive,

Concrete versus abstract,

Impatient versus patient movement versus stillness,

Striving versus tranquil,

Crushing versus nurturing,

Assertive versus receptive,

Left brain versus right brain,

Thrusting versus receiving,

Organization versus synthesizing,

Logical versus creative,

Busy versus calm,

Hard versus soft,

Controlling versus allowing,

Individuality versus unity,

Expression versus silence,

Constructive versus instructive,

Strength versus endurance,

And knowledge versus mystery.

So I think you can kind of already start seeing,

Hopefully,

That we need a balance between the two.

We can't be all left-brained.

We need to be right-brained,

Too.

We can't just be busy all the time.

We also need to be calm.

But if we're calm all the time,

And we're never accomplishing anything,

Maybe that's not the best example.

You can accomplish things through calm energy.

But just stick with me.

If we're just sitting still all the time,

And we're never doing anything,

Well,

That's a problem.

So yeah,

Maybe I should have picked movement versus stillness,

Right?

We need to move.

We have to move.

Non-movement equals depression when it's too much.

But we also have to be still.

See,

So we have to balance the masculine and the feminine.

We have to do this.

And we're going to overcorrect,

All right?

I think this is really important,

Honestly.

And it's not specifically about the masculine.

It's about the balance.

We always overcorrect in our personal lives.

Not always.

At least 90% of the time,

Probably.

We overcorrect,

And it's okay.

But we have to keep our eyes on it so we don't ridiculously overcorrect.

Okay?

And what I mean by that,

It's a pendulum.

You know,

Pendulum is such a good representation of life,

Really.

So it takes energy to do something in a negative way because it's out of balance.

So toxic masculinity,

It's like holding the pendulum up over here.

It takes energy to hold it up in midair and be out of balance.

That's what we've been living in for the last 100,

000 years,

Right?

So usually when you release that energy that's holding it up there,

It swings way over.

As soon as I let it go,

It swings,

Right?

And it goes over here.

That's an overcorrection.

So if you're listening to this on audio,

Just picture a pendulum.

I'm holding it way over to the left.

If I let it go,

It swings past the middle point over to the right.

So when it goes over to the right,

It's out of balance again.

So now we're too far in the other direction.

We're too far into feminine energy,

Which brings us into toxic feminine energy because it's too much in one way.

So that's when it starts being toxic.

We're going to do that.

I believe we're doing that now.

This is why my social media feeds are filled with spirituality because I've been doing this for so long.

That's basically all I get.

Sometimes my Instagram feed looks like a Tinder feed because it's just filled with naked women because the women have to embrace their femininity,

Which they're doing,

And that's a good thing.

Maybe this is my personal opinion.

I think it's going a little bit too far.

You have to be naked and sexual on social media for the world to see all the time consistently.

Boom,

Boom,

Boom.

No,

I have to do this.

I have to do that.

No,

Your sexuality and your sensuality and your body,

It's a beautiful thing,

And that can be for you.

I understand the aspect of not feeling shame about your body or your sexuality.

I get that,

And I support it 100%.

But,

Yeah,

Turning your Instagram feed into a Tinder feed or half a porno site,

To me,

That's going too far in the other direction.

It just is.

That's my personal opinion.

You don't have to agree with it.

I know not everybody does,

And there's other examples when we go too far in the other direction,

And some of that's going to happen,

And that's fine.

It's part of the correction,

Man.

You know?

It's okay.

I don't think that even when I see this,

What I consider an overcorrection with these sexual videos all over the place,

Quite honestly,

It bothered me at first.

I'm like,

Oh,

Man,

Why do you have to objectify yourself to that extent?

And trust me,

I've had many conversations on this with women,

And I understand the other side.

I just personally think it just goes too far.

That's all.

That's my personal opinion.

You don't have to agree with it.

I don't believe that that is necessary for people to embrace who they are and their sexuality and their feminine side.

I just don't see that's necessary.

So I see this as an overcorrection.

If you don't,

That's okay.

So my point is that even if you don't see that as an overcorrection,

There are ways that we are and will overcorrect,

Okay?

And then we're just gonna settle back into the middle,

And that's when our energy frees up.

When we settle into the middle,

We're in good balance,

And then we can move forward.

If we can,

Just try to keep that in mind.

Just kind of keep it in mind that there is a rise of the divine feminine.

It's necessary.

It's beautiful.

It's wonderful.

It's really one of the biggest things that's going to change our world.

Like it's,

I love it,

Man.

I love feminine energy.

I love it.

It works so much better than masculine energy because we're out of balance.

So the feminine has to be more effective because everything's trying to come into balance.

So it's a beautiful thing,

And as I see this divine feminine rise,

It really gives me hope for humanity.

So I'm 100% behind it.

We just have to be a little bit aware of that overcorrection so we don't go too far in the other balance because what that is is it's just becoming the oppressor.

So that's another way you see it is like when the feminine starts to put down the masculine and attempt to oppress the masculine,

Attempt to behave towards men or the masculine energy the same way the masculine energy has been trying to,

Or not trying to,

Has been oppressing feminine energy.

Masculine energy has been oppressing feminine energy,

Right,

For years,

And that's really a gigantic problem.

If not,

It might be the biggest problem on the planet,

Right?

So,

But where unconsciously we get addicted to like,

Not addicted to,

We get conditioned to what power looks like.

And for the last 100,

000 years,

Power has looked like masculine,

Toxic masculine has looked like power.

I'm in control.

I say what's going to happen.

I'm not listening to the other side.

I'm better than you.

That's how it's been,

You know,

The masculine side.

And when I see the feminine side doing the same thing,

Women are better than men.

Men are bad.

I'm going to tell you what to do now.

That's when we're overcorrecting.

We're going in the wrong side.

Now,

Is there going to be some of it?

Yeah,

There's going to be some of it.

That's just part of the,

We're not going to go from toxic masculinity and land right into the middle and the balance.

We're going to overcorrect to some degree,

Right?

So some of that is fine.

But if we're conscious that that's what's happening,

We can get to center quicker.

And if we get to center quicker,

Then we're going to be in balance quicker and everybody's going to be happy.

We're going to have a happy world.

So don't think that going into toxic feminine is what the world needs.

It doesn't because that's just as bad as being in toxic masculine,

Right?

If you're out of balance,

You're out of balance.

It doesn't matter if it's too much masculine or too much feminine.

It's just too much of something.

The only time we're going to be at peace and in good space is when we're in the middle.

So let's strive for that,

Okay?

So that's something that's gigantically rampant,

I believe,

In the society right now,

Especially in the spiritual world.

So I don't think I can have this conversation without touching on it.

So that's that part.

Let's get back to strictly the toxic masculinity.

So toxic masculinity,

I think it's deeper than some of the examples that were given when I Googled it.

And so I'm going to look at some of these so we can kind of,

You know,

Aggression versus surrender.

Now that to me is a good broad one.

It's deep enough because then you can see how aggression plays out in a lot of ways.

You can see how aggression plays out in war,

Right?

In war,

All war is out of balance masculine energy.

It's toxic masculine.

It's fighting.

It's aggression.

And,

You know,

There is no surrender in it.

I mean,

Literally,

They will yell that on the battlefield,

No surrender,

No surrender,

Right?

Yeah,

That's.

.

.

And I mean,

If you're at war,

It's probably a good idea.

I would like us not to be at war though.

So,

You know,

So if you're not at war,

See,

If this is what I mean,

Like if you're out of balance,

Then there's too much aggression,

Which causes war,

Right?

If you're too much into the toxic feminine,

Then it's just sheer surrender all the time.

No,

Whatever.

And there's no boundaries.

So now all of a sudden,

You know,

So we have to have that balance.

We have to see aggression in a positive version.

Like you can have positive aggression,

Okay?

So aggression is a masculine energy.

Sometimes you need to be aggressive.

Sometimes like,

You know,

What if.

.

.

Bear with me because I'm not a wildlife specialist.

But,

You know,

There are certain animals that if they're attacking,

You have to kind of get big and attack back.

If you just get still or try to run,

You're dead because of their instincts,

Right?

So some of them you have to get aggressive with.

That's a positive use of aggression.

So,

You know,

Let's just use a bear for example.

I don't know if this is true.

So don't go do this with a bear until you research it,

All right?

But we'll use a bear for example.

If that's what you're supposed to do with a bear and a bear comes at you and you're like,

Ah,

Ah,

And you get big and you get aggressive and then that bear is like,

Okay,

Wait,

This isn't,

You know,

This one's not gonna back down.

I better get out of here and it takes off,

Boom.

That's a positive use of aggression,

You know?

And sometimes if somebody is attacking,

Just,

You know,

Verbally,

Somebody is attacking verbally and they're pushing and pushing and pushing and you're trying to set a boundary but they keep rolling over your boundary or your attempted boundary,

You know,

Then all of a sudden you might have to be a little aggressive and stand up and go,

Whoa,

No,

Just to capture their attention.

Stop,

That can be an aggressive energy.

Hey,

No,

Right?

So that can be,

We need that sometimes.

Sometimes people are just rolling over us and they're not listening,

They're not hearing.

It's,

You know,

We drop into unconsciousness for one reason or another and that happens.

So sometimes that's a helpful thing,

You know?

Which I think is important,

You know,

Like we have to understand what we're trying to achieve and,

You know,

Hey man,

I'm all love,

Peace,

Calm because maybe because I had too much toxic masculinity,

You know,

Growing up,

You know,

And the alcoholism and the fighting and the aggressiveness and all that stuff.

I had my fill of that and I don't like it.

I didn't like it then,

I just felt it was necessary.

Now I know that it's not necessary but I experienced this so much in my life,

I still don't like it,

Okay?

So like for me,

I love functioning from calm,

Peace,

Just love,

Just I love feeling the feeling of love and contentment and just functioning from that and everything being kosher and everything's cool,

Man.

And just,

I love that,

I love that,

But that's not life.

Like it's not going to be like that all the time in every situation,

That's not why we came here.

You know,

We're in an experiential reality.

We have many sides,

We have a shadow self.

Like there are things to us,

You know,

There is a use for anger.

It's when we take anger too far that it becomes a problem.

But like we can be,

If we're experiencing depression and then all of a sudden for some reason we start looking around and seeing like,

We start getting angry instead of depressed.

We start looking around and see other people doing things and we're like,

That's BS,

Man.

Like I should be able to do things.

And then all of a sudden we start getting,

Maybe that fuels a little anger.

That's actually higher on a scale of emotions.

Depression is non-movement.

There's kind of no hope to get out of that.

So then all of a sudden something pisses us off and we start getting angry.

Yeah,

I should,

I'm going to,

I'm going to go do something.

Like screw this sitting around just doing nothing.

I'm going to,

You know,

This isn't always how people get out of depression,

But it is one possibility.

So then all of a sudden they start getting angry about something and then they use that to fuel movement because anger can induce movement.

Action,

Sometimes negative action,

But sometimes any action is better than no action,

Right?

So they start using it to propel themselves forward and start taking action and it pulls them out of their depression.

You see,

So this is where anger and aggression,

And if it's in balance,

It can serve a purpose.

It can help us navigate the different situations in our lives,

Okay?

So we're not trying to get rid of masculine energy.

We're just trying to keep it in balance.

And this is,

This is my balance.

Let's see.

Can you see Faithy?

Here's Faith coming to see me.

She's my balance of feminine energy.

Yeah.

That is my sweetheart.

Okay.

Okay,

So back to the podcast.

Yeah,

You can see my sweet pup on the video.

So,

Yeah,

What we're doing,

You know,

We want to get into that balance.

So let's give some more examples of some toxic masculinity and how it's playing out.

Analytical versus intuitive.

You know,

If we're always in our mind all the time,

It becomes toxic.

Like,

And this is kind of literally toxic.

Not necessarily in a chemical way per se,

But like if you're stuck in your head,

Man,

Like stuff doesn't make sense up there.

Like we have to talk things out to people.

We're too independent,

Which I believe is another,

Oh,

This is beautiful how it's unfolding.

Yeah.

Individuality versus unity,

Right?

We are too,

We're out of balance,

Man.

We're out of balance into the toxic masculine,

Right?

So we're too individual.

It's toxic.

So when you're stuck in your head,

That's masculine energy,

Thinking you can figure out everything on your own and that you're supposed to figure out everything on your own.

There's no unity in that.

There's no unity in that.

That's not how we were made.

There wouldn't be 8 billion of us on the planet if we're supposed to be individual.

Like there would be no purpose to having that many.

You know,

I don't know how nature would have corrected it,

But there is a use for having this many people on the planet.

Otherwise it wouldn't be happening.

So there's a use of it.

And the use of it is we are more together than we are separate.

So we're supposed to be balancing our individual lives with a sense of community.

That's the balance.

And part of that sense of community is not staying stuck in our heads,

Talking things out,

Getting feedback from our elders that have been on this planet longer than us so we can learn from them.

That's one aspect of it.

You know,

I see this with the kids a lot.

The kids are,

This is one trap that the younger generation has fallen into.

They have this sense of independence that goes too far.

It's a big thing with the younger generation.

And it's a big thing globally,

I think,

Actually,

Right now.

It's just that sometimes the younger generation isn't as indoctrinated into the toxic masculinity.

The younger generation is starting to lean away from this and coming into a better balance.

But this one,

They're not doing well with.

It's probably because it's so conditioned,

So societally conditioned into things.

So we're too individual now.

I think technology may play a part.

Kids can literally stay in the house or even around the house for years and not get bored.

That was one of the things I saw with my son growing up,

Video games and television and telephone and stuff.

You can stay in your room for,

Other than eating and going to the bathroom for two weeks.

And you can entertain yourself enough to where the boredom doesn't drive you into social behavior,

Real social behavior,

Interacting with people in person.

So I think that that plays a part in why the individuality is too far out of balance with this young generation.

Whereas,

Like I said,

Some of it,

The younger generation just isn't buying into,

Which is great.

But yeah,

We can't stay in our heads because what happens is weird stuff makes sense.

Most of us have thought through something and then go see a friend and we're like,

We decide to talk it over with them.

And we're talking it over.

And as it's coming out of our mouth,

We're like,

We're seeing how,

We're hearing how stupid it sounds.

And we're like,

What the heck?

That made perfect sense in my head.

That doesn't make sense at all.

Most of us have had that experience.

So what that is,

That's a symptom of us not too far in a direction.

We are too far in the toxic masculine into individuality and we're not enough into unity.

We're supposed to be talking things out,

Getting different perspectives.

Even just using another person as a sounding board,

It has its value.

It's because we're working together to some degree.

Like a sounding board,

Another person,

Another live human being has an energy field.

So even if they're just listening sometimes,

Even if they don't say anything,

It does have a value because it takes what's going on in your head and brings it out into reality.

And you can hear it.

Also,

If it's a good sounding board,

They're creating safe space for you.

It's a nonjudgmental way of getting things out of your head and out into the air so you can look at them.

When I worked,

I worked with a life coach for years and that was one of the things that I noticed.

I knew a lot of what I was doing.

So sometimes our life coaching sessions would be me going,

Yeah,

Okay,

I've been working on this since our last session.

These are the realizations I've come to.

This is what I think I'm gonna do about it.

This is blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And I'm talking it out and I'm like,

Oh my God,

Wait,

That doesn't even make sense.

So actually what I need to do is I need to view this the same way as I viewed this other situation because it's the same type of energy.

So what I need to do is handle it in this way.

Usually it's a form of bringing in love and then it'll play out in its own way through that.

And my life coach would be like,

Yeah.

Most people would think that that life coach didn't do anything.

No,

It was extremely valuable because it allowed me to get out of my head,

Get something out and work through it myself with another person.

And then at the end,

Get a confirmation which prevents me second guessing it the next day or the next week and just really locking on and doing it because I got confirmation from somebody that I respect that yes,

In fact,

You are looking at this clearly.

Way to go,

Head in that direction.

That's extremely valuable.

I think everybody should be working with a life coach.

I know it's because I am one,

But I'm serious,

Man.

Our world is so out of balance.

We are so conditioned to do the wrong thing because it's all toxic masculine.

We're so conditioned for that.

There's no way we're going to pick up on all of it.

It's not that we need a life coach in a way that we'll never get to where we're going if we don't have a life coach.

I believe we will.

I believe if you desire to grow and expand and work on yourself and become a better version of yourself,

You're going to achieve that with or without a life coach.

I just think that it happens a lot quicker with the life coach.

That's all.

I like that personally.

I'm like,

Why?

I literally saw this.

I struggled with things for three years and then worked with a life coach and worked through it in three months.

I'm like,

Oh my God,

Why?

Why was I doing this to myself?

Yeah,

I like getting through stuff quicker.

That's just me.

Logical,

Creative.

If we're all logic,

Just all logic,

And we don't bring our creativity into it at all,

It's toxic.

It becomes toxic.

Controlling,

That's huge.

Toxic masculine versus allowing.

Yeah,

Controlling.

That might be the number one toxic masculine trait.

It's acquisition.

I don't know if that's on this list or not,

But that's always one that pops into my head.

Acquisition mentality to acquire and hoard.

That's masculine energy.

Toxic masculine,

Not masculine.

Masculine energy,

Let's go back.

See,

I gain a better perspective on a deeper level sometimes when I'm looking at a situation that I'm not in because I can see it clearly.

Maybe a more simple example as opposed to our complicated,

Busy world that we live in now.

It's like,

Oh,

Well.

It's so surfacy now.

It's almost hard to see below the surfaceness because it's so surfacy.

It's like you go toxic masculinity,

And you start talking about the business world or something,

And you go,

Yeah,

It's too acquisition mentality to take over.

Then people go,

Yeah,

But you have to because of this and because of that.

It's like,

Yeah,

But that's not what I'm talking about.

It's too far in that direction.

Yeah,

But you have to do that,

And that's all surface conversation.

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

I like going back sometimes in time and going,

Okay,

Where did the acquisition mentality start to become out of balance?

When we had communities that lived off the earth and hunted animals to feed the tribe,

And you have the hunters that go,

And they go out,

And they have to be aggressive.

Killing an animal for food is aggressiveness.

They have to be aggressive and acquire that meat to feed the tribe.

They go,

They do that.

That is still in balance because it's required to do what you're going to do.

Then they bring it back,

And then they share.

That's more feminine energy.

Give,

Share.

It's not mine.

I acquired it.

No,

It's giving and sharing.

You have the balance.

You have the aggression and the acquisition of the animal through the sacred masculine,

And then you have the sharing through the sacred feminine,

And everybody benefits.

Then it starts getting out of balance.

I forgot where I heard this.

It might have been,

I can't remember the name of that book.

It's such a cool book,

Very unique read.

It's about this talking ape that talks about the evolution of man and how energy through food and plants and other things plays a role.

I can't think of the name of the book,

But it might be that book.

I'm sure you guys could find it if you Google it or reach out and message me,

And I'll let you know what it is.

I think it was that book that they were talking about.

Where did this toxic masculinity start?

I don't even think they used those words,

But they were talking about one hunter is like,

I'm the best hunter.

I'm the best hunter.

I always get the food,

And everybody else eats it.

I got it.

Why do I have to share it with everybody else?

He starts hoarding it.

That's when the masculinity breaks into toxic.

No,

It's mine,

Acquisition.

No,

I'm keeping it.

I'm not sharing.

I'm not opening up to my sacred feminine.

I'm just staying with a toxic masculine.

I'm going too far.

Yeah,

I killed it.

I'm keeping it.

Then all of a sudden,

It gets too far.

It's in that space where he's like,

No,

I'm keeping it.

What happens?

Well,

Eventually,

The tribe gets hungry and starts going to the hunter with all the food and going,

Hey,

We need food.

We need food.

He's like,

Well,

Bring me something.

Make me some clothes.

Who knows?

Maybe the man says,

Okay,

Well,

You have to sleep with me to get some of the food.

Whatever.

All of a sudden,

He has power and control over the others.

You see,

Toxic masculine is control,

And perhaps that's how it started.

Right.

And then all of a sudden,

The masculine energy keeps going,

Going,

Going.

And look at our governmental systems.

Look at all our structure.

It doesn't matter what it is.

It doesn't matter any organized structure that is in place still to this day.

Right.

I think in certain ways,

It used to be even worse with the caste system and stuff.

And we could feel that that was so wrong.

And slavery,

As we evolve,

There's certain aspects of it that we just can't.

It's just so obvious that it's wrong that we have to stop doing it.

That's just our natural evolution.

But we haven't evolved all the way yet.

If you look at all our structures,

What's the main things that have structure to it?

Organized structure in place that has been in place for thousands of years.

Well,

To me,

The things that pop up are organized religion,

Corporate America.

I just mean corporations,

Not just in America.

And government.

Those are structured systems that have been in place for a long time.

So even if our government in the United States hasn't been in place for thousands of years,

It's the mentality of government.

And there has been shifts to it.

There used to be less democracy.

Now there's more democracy.

But why is that?

It's because our natural evolution.

We want to head in the direction of fairness,

Of balance.

We just haven't gotten far enough yet.

So if you look at our structures,

The Vatican is the richest country in the world.

That's money and power.

That's what that is.

And it's at the top.

The priest that is giving a sermon in church on Sunday doesn't have the money and the power.

It's the people at the top that have the money and the power.

Right?

So all the money and the power are funneled upward.

Corporations.

Where's the money and the power?

In the people busting their butt?

Actually doing the work at the bottom?

No.

No.

People are struggling just to feed their families at the bottom.

And at the top,

The CEO is making hundreds of millions of dollars.

In some cases,

Literally hundreds of millions of dollars.

Funneled up.

Right?

So government.

Who's got the money and the power?

The people?

That it's governing?

Nope.

All the money and the power upward.

This is toxic masculinity.

This is what I want to talk about.

I didn't want to talk about how toxic masculinity means promiscuity.

Who gives a crap?

I mean,

Of course,

Promiscuity is a problem.

But not everybody believes in promiscuity.

I don't.

Don't go with somebody that believes in that.

There's plenty of guys who don't believe in promiscuity.

Okay?

And it's growing.

Why?

Because we're leaning into more balance.

You know?

So there are more men alive now that believe that they can have a relationship and mutual respect with a woman.

There are more men like that on the planet now than there ever have been in the history of the world.

Except maybe before.

Maybe 100,

000 years ago.

Maybe it was different.

I don't know.

Maybe it wasn't there.

But in the modern world,

In the last couple thousand years at least,

We've got more balanced men on this planet than ever.

Why?

Because we've had to.

We've had to.

You know,

A lot of times we pay attention to the rise of the divine feminine.

Rightfully so.

It's a beautiful thing.

But that affects men whether we want to or not.

You know?

When my son grew up,

You know,

When he was 12 and on,

I was sole caretaker.

100% sole single parent.

No help.

No help from family because they lived too far away.

No help from friends for the most part.

I mean,

You know,

My son would go over to his friend's house sometimes.

But very rarely did I have somebody watch my son.

I was with him all the time.

Maybe that was me being out of balance.

But my point is I was sole caregiver.

I had to be mom and dad.

There are times when you have to bring in that feminine energy when you're caring for somebody.

Or what people would label as feminine energy.

Well,

It is feminine energy.

Because we have both masculine and feminine.

But I had to open up to my feminine side.

And even before he was 12,

Even when he was little,

Because when my son was with me,

Me and his mother split up when he was nine months old.

So when my son was with me,

Even when he was little,

His mother wasn't around.

So if something happened that required feminine energy,

Like maybe he got hurt and I needed to take care of him.

Maybe he was upset and I needed to console him.

Those are more feminine aspects.

I needed to open up to that side of myself and give him what he needed in those situations.

Right?

So this is how our society is kind of trying to balance itself.

And there's lots of men that are doing that.

It used to crack me up.

It used to crack me up,

Man.

Me and my son would be out all the time.

We're always out doing stuff and we're always together.

Even when he lived with his mom,

He was with me four or five days a week.

So we're always together.

And it was men.

I don't think men ever said it to me.

If they did,

Maybe once or twice.

But I don't remember a man ever saying this to me.

But I remember women coming up to me every once in a while and they'd say,

Oh,

Are you babysitting today?

Babysitting?

Who?

Oh,

My son?

Am I babysitting my son?

I guess.

No,

It's my son.

I'm not babysitting him.

He's my son.

How can you babysit your own child?

To me,

I didn't understand that.

To me,

A babysitter is somebody who watches your kid.

I think that's the definition of a babysitter,

Right?

Somebody that watches your kid.

It's my kid.

I can't babysit my own kid.

But this is culturally,

We're out of,

You know,

It's an example of how we're out of balance.

We're in the toxic masculine still.

So as the world changes,

Though,

And the rise of the divine feminine comes,

Men are pushed into embracing that feminine side more.

Men are pushed into letting go of their toxicity of masculine energy more,

Which is a wonderful thing.

You know,

So this is how we're evolving.

This is the big picture stuff.

This is,

You know,

This is the stuff that I wanted to talk about.

It's this global thing,

Like I talked about,

You know,

All the acquisition mentality and power and greed and horde and all that toxic masculine,

Man.

And we can see it in all the structures,

Right?

So I believe that the spiritual shift really started like,

You know,

Somewhere around 1960 or so,

You know,

With the hippies.

And like,

This is why I love spirituality.

It just makes sense of everything to me.

So I look at it and I go,

What were the hippies really yelling about?

They were yelling about war.

They didn't want war because that's killing.

They were preaching about love.

And they were against organized structure.

They questioned everything.

Organized religion,

Organized corporations,

Organized government.

Those three main bodies that have all the money and the power,

They questioned them and said,

Why,

Man?

Why do you have all the money and the power?

And why are you making us go to war and kill people that we don't want to kill just so you get more money and power?

Like they questioned everything.

And it was the first time in history that all these structures got questioned.

And that's why I believe it's part of the spiritual shift.

So fast forward to now,

Here we are,

Right?

And,

Of course,

We still have those things in place,

But they've been questioned and they were shaken.

And I don't think that they've ever had blind allegiance since the hippies.

People are still following what they say to do.

I think that'll start changing soon.

But they're not doing it so blindly.

They're like,

Oh,

Yeah,

Well.

They at least understand why other people don't like them.

Whereas before,

It was just like,

Shut up and do what you're told.

Everything was like that.

Just shut up and do what you're told.

Who are you to question the government?

Who are you to question the religion?

Just shut up and do it.

Like that's how it was for thousands and thousands and thousands of years.

And then now all of a sudden everything's questioned and the structure doesn't like it.

The old school people don't like it.

What happened to respect?

What happened to respect?

Remember when there was respect?

And don't get me wrong.

There is a little bit of truth to that because we're overcorrecting.

But a lot of the respect that people think that the younger generation is missing,

It's blind respect.

It's just do what you're told because you're told.

Your boss told you you had to work 50 hours.

So just shut up and go work 50 hours.

Life's tough.

Get used to it.

That's evolution of the species.

That's what we want for our children.

Why don't we want the CEO making $150 million while they scrape and work 50,

60 hours a week and never see their family?

That's what we want in this world.

That's what's right and we should support it.

No,

Man.

Slow down.

Think a little bit deeper.

I want my kid to work 40 hours a week max.

If I had my way,

He'd work 30 hours a week or 20 hours a week and go enjoy his life most of the time.

That might not be possible right off the bat,

But I'm not training him to never have any joy in his life,

To work 60 hours a week and never see his family.

That's foolishness.

So we're moving out of the toxic masculine,

And it is the cause of,

I think,

All our problems.

People are too assertive.

There's too much organization,

Not enough synthesizing,

Too much busyness,

Not enough calmness,

Too much controlling,

Not enough allowing,

Too much expression,

Not enough silence.

But the answer is not being silent all the time,

Right?

It's a balance between the two.

So just don't go too far in that masculine direction.

And as you're navigating this stuff,

Make sure you slow down and see.

Well,

I guess this might be a little bit more for the woman,

But everything works for both sexes.

As we embrace,

Like as women embrace their power and their strength,

Don't think that toxic masculinity is actually power and strength.

It's not.

It's out of balance.

It's oppressive.

Do not become what you hate.

Don't become your oppressor.

Don't go all the way too far and overcorrect into the toxic masculinity.

Embrace that feminine,

Man.

Embrace that feminine energy.

It's so beautiful.

But when I see women going,

Becoming overly controlling and overly aggressive,

And then they're sitting there going,

Yeah,

When I do it,

I'm a bitch.

When a man does it,

It's fine.

No,

No,

No.

It's because you're turning into a toxic masculine energy.

That's why.

And it's more obvious in a woman.

When a man does it,

We're used to seeing it in a man.

It doesn't mean it's right.

It's literally wrong.

It's what we're trying to get away from.

Just because we're used to seeing it in a man,

And it doesn't capture our attention so much when a man does it,

When a man acts toxic masculine,

In a controlling,

Overly powerful,

Aggressive way.

When a man does it,

It's wrong.

It is not true power.

It's out of balance.

And we're trying to get away from that.

So as we're bringing,

As we're ushering in this divine feminine,

Don't go become a toxic masculine,

And then wonder why people don't like you,

Or wonder why you feel out of balance.

It's because you're too,

You're literally becoming what we don't want.

Toxic masculine.

Women can be toxic masculine.

And if you start acting like that,

It's not going to go well.

Right?

You might achieve some stuff in the business world on a surface level.

Right?

You might climb the ladder.

It might look like you're achieving success through that energy,

But it's going to bite you in the ass.

Why?

Because it's toxic masculinity.

So eventually at some point,

Just because you have some minimal successes,

Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

You can embrace your divine feminine,

Which is much more powerful than that toxic aggressive crap.

And you can be successful through that energy.

And I guarantee you,

You will be more successful through that energy.

And this goes for man and woman.

So men too,

Embrace the divine feminine energies.

We all have to do that,

Because that's what is more powerful right now,

Because it's trying to come back into balance.

And it's going to work 10 times better.

I'm not saying that toxic masculinity will never work in any situation ever.

It probably will,

Because unfortunately the world is still kind of set up that way.

But that's what we're trying to get out of.

Right?

That's what we're trying to get away from.

And there's this energy over here that's called divine feminine.

That's even more powerful.

So do that.

You'll succeed even more because you're going into the future,

The balance,

The way we're going,

You're going into that and you're getting away from what doesn't work.

So hopefully I got to keep this under an hour.

So I got to end,

But thank you guys.

Thanks for listening.

And I'm going to cut it short.

Talk to you soon.

Bye.