Realistic Expectations - LL&L LIVE Podcast

In this episode of Life, Lessons, & Laughter LIVE, I dive into having realistic expectations of life, especially spiritual life. If we know what a happy life looks like, we can lean into creating it and existing in it consistently. Recorded live on 5/17/21.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello people.

Hello everybody.

Welcome,

Welcome to the show.

Thank you for joining.

Please say hello.

So I know you're here.

Hello,

Hello everybody.

So today,

If you guys aren't doing anything,

And you're probably doing three or four things at the same time.

But today I am going to talk about realistic expectations and what they are.

And people are starting to stream in.

Hello Abby.

Hello Melanie.

I'm not sure if I know Melanie.

Exciting new people.

So today I am going to talk about realistic expectations.

So oftentimes,

You know,

I'm working with my clients.

And of course,

In my own life,

You know,

I see this as well.

Because that's how it is.

We're all working on the same stuff.

We're really not that complicated.

It's just we have our own versions of our stuff.

And like,

I really noticed this when my son was young.

You know,

I was on my spiritual path already.

So I would try to teach him concepts,

You know,

Which I often call spiritual law.

Like things that are always true,

No matter what the situation is.

If you get down to the core of things,

You know,

That's where the truth lies.

When you simplify and get to the core,

You get to the truth.

So oftentimes I wouldn't focus on the symptoms,

What I call the symptoms,

Which is usually the details or the external manifestation of the situation that he was dealing with.

I would try to teach him a concept lesson,

Which the concept lesson that lied underneath it.

So as I was teaching him this,

This way,

You know,

Oftentimes I would after afterwards,

I'd be sitting there reflecting and,

You know,

OK,

What did I say?

Did I handle it right?

How do I do?

And I'd be thinking about the concept.

And I'd often look and go,

OK,

Is there a place in my life where I can work on this concept?

And most of the time there was.

So basically I was learning the same things in my 40s as my son was learning in,

You know,

Eight years old or six years old or five years old.

It was the same stuff.

It was just the details of the lesson were different.

In my adult world,

It looked really complicated and fancy,

And then his child situation,

It often looked a little bit more simple,

But the lesson underneath was the same.

So this is what,

You know,

This is the important stuff is learning these lessons and understanding that we're more alike than we are different.

We're not that complicated.

We're all working through the same stuff and life the way we live it just looks complicated.

And the same lessons will come at us from a different perspective and it throws us.

So gaining perspective,

Taking a step back from the details and gaining some perspective is very valuable.

So this is what I do and this is what I was,

I do in my own life and I do with my clients as well is make sure I have some realistic expectations of my life and what's going on.

And a lot of times when I get caught up in the details of life,

Which is where the stress starts occurring,

If I disconnect from that and regain some perspective by taking several steps back,

Then all of a sudden I can see where I'm off.

So with that mindset,

What I'm talking about today is having realistic expectations.

So what I've noticed is that,

You know,

Like I said in my own life as well as other people's lives,

We're not realistic as to what our life is going to look like.

And this is very insidious.

It creeps in in very funky ways.

So like the obvious way is thinking that everything's going to go our way.

Like,

Oh,

You know,

Like,

You know,

I'm doing all this spiritual work.

I'm working on myself.

I'm trying to be happier.

So I'll put in the work and then everything will go my way.

Now,

We're not consciously thinking that,

Of course,

Because when you say it out loud,

It sounds silly.

But unconsciously,

That's kind of what we're looking at.

Because otherwise,

Why would we get upset when something doesn't go our way?

You know,

We immediately judge it.

Like,

I mean,

If we get a flat tire,

It's like,

Oh,

My God,

I can't believe I got a flat tire.

Why can't you believe you got a flat tire?

Like flat tires don't happen in your world.

Like in Glenn's world,

Glenn never runs over a nail or hits a pothole.

Like that just doesn't happen in Glenn's life.

You know,

It's so when we say this stuff out loud,

Of course,

It sounds silly.

But subconsciously,

That's the tape that's playing in the back.

That is our rule for happiness.

Our rule for happiness basically is that everything goes our way.

And as soon as that doesn't happen,

Then there must be something wrong.

We label it as something wrong.

And if we're labeling things as something wrong,

Like as a general rule,

You can't fix that.

Like you can't fix something that's inherently wrong.

Like you get a flat tire and the fact that you got a flat tire is wrong.

Well,

You're in deep crap.

Like you will never find peace if that is your perspective ever around that topic.

You might find peace in other areas,

But if that's the type of thinking that we're doing,

We're never going to have peace because it's wrong.

So like to explain this in a little bit more detail,

You know,

Brene Brown has done a lot of work on shame and she's great at what she does.

And her explanation of shame is basically like I think it was the shame and guilt,

I believe.

So it's guilt is thinking you did something wrong.

Shame is thinking you are something wrong.

And shame is very dangerous because just that,

You know,

Of course,

It's not true.

But that illusion,

That thought process that says there is something inherently wrong with me,

I'm flawed.

Like you can't fix that in your head.

Like you're broken and there ain't no fixing it.

So if that's your perspective,

That's where shame comes from.

And it's very dangerous because there is no hope for something better.

There's no,

Like that locks you in to feeling a certain way.

It's the same way with external things.

If you are labeling things as wrong and bad and they shouldn't have happened,

Then you are not going to be able to have peace in your life because there's a bunch of things wrong in the world.

You know,

And that's a problem and it's going to impede on your happiness because the world is inherently broken and there's no fixing it.

So we,

You know,

So we have to start understanding that like there is no right or wrong.

It just is.

Sometimes we get a flat tire.

That doesn't mean we have to like getting a flat tire.

It just means we can't resist the reality that sometimes flat tires happen in this particular time.

It happened to us.

And that like our ego will tell us,

Oh,

No,

Like as soon as I am not miserable that I got a flat tire,

As soon as I don't express my disgust and having a flat tire,

That means I like flat tires and I'll get them all the time.

Like that's what our subconscious tells us,

Which is ridiculous.

It's not going to happen.

You know,

Just because you accept something for what it is doesn't mean you're you're embracing it and bringing more of it into your life.

That's not how it works.

So there is nothing that is right or wrong.

It just is.

So,

You know,

Most of the people that are listening to my podcast or at least listening to more than one,

I'm doing some work on themselves,

You know,

And I don't care if you call it spiritual,

Religious,

Self-help,

Just tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired,

Want to change.

I don't care what you call it.

The fact is,

Is that you're searching for some way of life that's happier than what you've previously experienced.

And that's all that matters.

So if you're putting some work in towards creating a happier existence here on Earth,

It's important to understand what that looks like.

And again,

You know,

Like if you say things out loud,

A lot of times they sound silly and like they don't make sense.

But yet many people are living like this,

Including people who are doing spiritual work on a consistent basis,

Are kind of living like this and it's impeding on their happy existence.

This is why I'm talking about it today,

Because if you,

I believe that if you are doing work on becoming happier,

You deserve to be happier.

You deserve it.

I mean,

I believe it's your birthright.

I believe happiness and peace is our birthright,

All of us.

And if we are leaning in towards that,

We should actually be able to experience it.

And the beauty is,

Is we can experience it.

We can experience it as we walk this journey.

We don't have to,

We don't have to wait until we get somewhere.

We don't have to wait until we learn a certain thing.

We don't have to wait until we find the magic key.

We don't have to wait until we hear that just the right podcast at just the right time or read the right book.

We're getting addicted to information trying to find the magic pill that's going to give us happiness.

And meanwhile,

We're missing our happiness.

So,

You know what,

I want you to know what a spiritual existence looks like,

Looks like a happy existence looks like.

And this is oftentimes in our jobs,

In our lots of people have their own businesses now in their businesses,

In their personal lives.

Like we have to get a realistic expectation about what that looks like.

And it does not look like nothing going wrong.

How's that for a double negative?

It does not look like nothing going wrong.

It's a constantly evolving thing.

You know,

This is I think this is one of the places that catches people up is we've all heard that life is a journey and we're constantly growing and we're constantly expanding.

And our work is never done.

We'll always,

You know,

And all that stuff,

Which is true.

Which is true in one way and not in another way,

Just like everything here on Earth.

It's all ying and yang,

Two sides to every coin.

So there is no real like there are spiritual concepts that are basically one way.

But when we're dealing with reality here on Earth,

Everything has two sides.

That's the nature of the reality here on Earth.

So,

You know,

Remembering that,

Yes,

Life is a journey.

Yes,

We will continue expanding.

But that doesn't mean that like a lot of times people use that as an excuse not to be happy now.

And that's what I'm talking about.

You can be happy now.

You can be basically,

You know,

I know that this,

Depending on where you are,

This might not happen all the time.

But you can be at complete peace and bliss and have moments of ecstasy and enjoy a very fulfilling and happy life without all your work being done.

That's not how it goes.

Like,

We don't have to wait until we get to a certain place for us to experience happiness.

So a more realistic expectation to have is so that you can open up into your happiness now.

Is don't have your happiness based on external circumstances.

There is no right or wrong when something goes away that you don't like.

That doesn't mean that there's something wrong and it has to impede on your happiness.

Things do not have to be the way you want them to be for you to be happy.

They don't.

We have to live from the inside out,

Not from the outside in.

We cannot wait.

I said this a million times.

You cannot wait until your external circumstances are the way you want them for you to be happy because they're always changing.

Everything always changes on this earth.

So,

You know,

It's all transitory.

So I think,

You know,

A business is a good way to explain this in a real life scenario because I experienced in my business,

You know,

Like I start a business and I'm like,

Oh,

Okay,

You know,

How am I going to,

You know,

What's,

You know,

What am I going to do?

Well,

I mean,

I was like a big exciting time.

You know,

I became a life coach and I was personal training part time,

Collecting unemployment part time,

Trying to figure out how to start a business.

And I have this idea of,

And I had just got in custody of my son.

So I had this idea of living in the same building and having a business space to work out of.

So,

Which is cool,

You know,

So now all of a sudden,

So I start my business and I get that building and this is very exciting.

And I'm like,

Oh my God,

This is so cool.

Isn't that it?

Isn't this great how this unfolds?

And now unconsciously,

What I'm finding is a lot of us are sitting there,

Like there,

Like,

Like,

Like I accomplished it,

Like I accomplished happiness.

So just everybody freeze,

Nobody move because Glenn's in a happy space.

That's not life.

You know,

That was just one stage and yeah,

It was cool and exciting and scary and wow,

Wow,

Wow.

But then you fast forward,

You know,

A year and a half later,

Maybe two years,

I think,

I don't even know.

A couple of years later and now all of a sudden this cool building.

I don't really want to be in that building anymore.

It's right on a main road.

There's a gas station right next to it that gets gas deliveries at three o'clock in the morning.

That wakes me up.

I want to I feel this urge to be more closer to nature.

I want to get a dog.

I don't like doing personal training.

I always knew I was going to stop doing it at some point.

I had done it a lot my earlier life.

Now I had let that part of my business kind of die down where other parts picked up.

I was sick of doing spiritual events,

Not because of the spiritual events,

But because of the planning.

I had to be an event planner and a marketer.

And that's not what I wanted to do with my life.

So,

So that all of a sudden started weighing on me.

So all of a sudden this magical dream wasn't what I wanted anymore.

So now,

You know,

So what I'm finding is a lot of times when we find ourselves in a place where we're not particularly enjoying where we are anymore.

We start judging ourselves,

Life.

We start getting upset that we're not where we thought we'd be when we were a certain age.

We start getting very judgmental on ourselves and on life,

Like something's wrong.

And this is the specific point I'm trying to make today and really harp on.

There is nothing wrong.

This is an evolution of life.

And I know that you guys can see it because I'm laying it out the proper way.

But unconsciously,

This is what we do to ourselves and it causes a lot of misery.

We start judging our circumstances,

Especially when we get older,

You know,

You start looking at your life going,

My God,

I'm 50 years old,

I'm 60 years old.

This is not where I thought I'd be.

I thought I'd be happy by now.

I thought I would have found my niche.

I thought I would have blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And like,

That's not it.

It's constant evolution.

Like,

That doesn't mean that me starting my business two years earlier and including personal training and spiritual events was wrong or I made a mistake or it's nothing like that.

That's what worked for me at the time.

And then I'm evolving into more joy and I can get more specific with my joy.

So that's when I moved on to a seven acre horse farm with a much smaller business space.

I still want the ability to have people come to my business space,

But it was a lot smaller because I didn't want to have the big events anymore and I didn't want to do personal training anymore.

But I still had a business space.

So now it's like,

Okay,

Well,

You know,

My personal training clients,

I allowed that to fall away as my life coaching picked up.

Okay,

Cool.

I can afford to live over here.

Still have a business space.

Nice.

And then I do that.

You know,

And then whatever a year and a half later,

All of a sudden my son's like,

Hey,

You know,

After a vacation to Florida,

I'd love to move to Florida.

I'm like,

Cool.

I've been waiting to move back to Florida for 14 years.

I don't like the cold in Rhode Island,

You know.

So we ended up moving to Florida and then it was like,

Okay,

Well,

What's important to me?

Well,

My life coaching business is important to me.

And that was big enough where it was my sole source of income at that time.

So I didn't have to get a business space.

Didn't mean that I made a mistake getting the business space last time,

But there was something wrong with having a business space.

It's just the natural evolution.

You know,

So when you see it from a distance,

It's just like,

Well,

You know,

As I'm saying this,

Like I can feel people going,

Well,

Glenn,

Why nobody would think that there's something wrong if that was their life.

Yeah,

We do that.

We do that in our lives.

I know because I talk to clients about it all the time.

You know,

It just sounds ridiculous when we're saying it out loud and when like you guys are listening to my story.

Remember that when it's your story,

It's different.

Like because you have no emotion around my story.

So you're just listening to a fact based going,

Well,

That's a natural evolution.

Makes perfect sense,

Glenn.

I don't know why you're using this as an example,

But this is what we do in our lives.

We hit different stages.

We do something.

We get a job and we go,

Oh,

This is my dream job.

I can't believe I have to,

I get to do this for a living.

And then we think that that chapter of our life is done and is like we can finally stop worrying about it.

And then two years later,

We wake up and we're really not that happy at that job.

And we think that there's something wrong with the job or something wrong with us or both.

And it's like,

No,

Man,

It's just that,

You know,

A lot of times it's,

I mean,

Sometimes our perspective gets knocked off balance.

That happens with jobs quite often,

Actually.

So you might need to adjust your perspective or something.

But a lot of times,

Especially when you're on your own business,

There's so much flexibility there.

And so much is your responsibility.

You have to tweak things.

And even if you don't have your own business,

That can happen in regular everyday life,

Too.

You know,

It happens in relationships.

I mean,

Look at the divorce rate.

You're telling me that this doesn't happen?

I mean,

Nobody's walking down the aisle going,

Oh,

My God,

This is definitely going to end in divorce 10 years from now or five years from now.

No,

Man,

When people are getting married,

They think that they found the one and that they don't have to worry about it anymore.

All of a sudden,

They wake up years later and they're like,

Wait a minute here,

Who's this person and why am I not happy?

I thought I was going to be happy with this person.

It's like,

Man,

You know,

We have to evolve and we have to our expectations have to evolve.

We have to roll with life.

We have to live more consciously so we can navigate these things.

You know,

I you know,

We don't.

There's different answers for different situations.

It's not like we have to turn in,

You know,

I adjusted my business.

That doesn't mean you have to adjust your spouse.

You don't have to go out and get a new one every time.

You know,

You won't grow something.

You know,

There are different ways to navigate these things.

But the key is having a realistic perspective that there is like you can be happy now,

Peaceful,

Content,

Blissful,

All that stuff.

And right now,

And then as things come up and evolve and as changes are necessary,

Don't judge it and don't judge yourself.

Just sit there and be like,

Oh,

Okay,

Wow.

You know,

That was kind of exciting last time.

But I got caught up in the fear last time I made a big change or last time I made some adjustments.

But now I'm seeing this is just how life unfolds and I'll lean into the more joyful,

Playful way of making my adjustments as I move forward instead of it being so fearful like it was last time.

And then all of a sudden you start going through the changes in a joyful,

Playful manner,

Too.

So you're blissful when things are kind of the way that you've worked to get them.

And then as things shift,

You're joyful then,

Too.

You know,

We can this is how we can kind of it's not that we're never going to experience sadness or anger or frustration.

That's not even our goal.

We are going to experience moments like that.

But if we don't resist them and we just go through them,

They're very temporary.

They're very manageable.

It's really not that big of a deal.

So we go through stuff like that.

And then the way our life is unfolding,

We have to understand that it's constantly changing and it's constantly evolving.

And what we yearn for can change so we can tweak.

Oh,

You know,

Like so my business,

Instead of doing the personal training and the events,

I ended up doing basically just life coaching one or two small little events here or there just when I wanted to.

And then the other thing that I kept was my podcast.

And the only reason I kept my podcast was because it was joyful,

Because I enjoyed doing it.

That's how I decide what I'm keeping and what I'm not keeping when it's time for me to make my tweaks.

I have to make tweaks very often in life,

Especially having my own business.

And when I decide what tweaks,

What do I want to keep?

What do I want to change?

What do I want to do more of?

What do I want to do less of?

This is how we're supposed to be going through life.

Making the tweaks constantly.

You know,

Not constantly,

Like every week,

You know,

Don't nickel and dime yourself to death.

But if you're sitting there feeling a little uncomfortable or something like you're,

You know,

You're not quite as fulfilled as you used to be,

That doesn't mean that there's something wrong.

It just means that there's some tweaks that need to be made.

So I was like,

I know nobody's listening to my podcast.

I've been doing it for a couple of years.

Nobody listens.

But do I enjoy it?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm going to keep it.

So I kept doing it just because I enjoyed it.

Only reason.

Logically and financially and business sense,

It made no sense.

But I did it because I enjoyed it.

And then six months later,

The podcast took off.

And then Nat Fed has been feeding my business ever since.

But I got that not because I'm smart,

But because I followed my joy.

And this is what we need to do.

Follow our joy making tweaks along the way.

Oh,

A little more joy.

Oh,

I thought that was joyful.

Not really enjoying it so much.

Oh,

But I could do that.

That's more joy.

Okay.

Tweak,

Tweak,

Tweak.

You know,

This is this is how we need to walk through life.

And I've got a question over here.

Francis is listening.

Hi,

Francis from the UK.

Would you say happiness is the same as contentment?

Yes.

For me,

The reason I can't give a definitive answer is because it's different for everybody.

This is something that I teach.

I try to teach people pay attention to how words make you feel because we've learned words in different situations.

Individually,

So sometimes words have just the slightest difference of energy to one person than it does to another person.

So,

Like,

Let's say like content,

I love contentment.

I love the feeling of contentment.

That's one of my favorite feelings.

Just sitting there and just feeling contented.

Like,

And one of like.

So I'll give you the example.

So what it reminds me of,

Not every time I'm feeling it,

Just like when I think about the definition to me about contentment,

It reminds me of the feeling after you make love.

I mean,

With somebody that you really care about,

Somebody that you really love and you just you share bodies and it's just this beautiful experience.

And you're both completely satisfied and it's over and you're laying that next to each other.

And there's just this feeling of contentment.

Like if you go into your head and go like,

Is there anything that I want right now?

No,

Man,

Nothing.

There is nothing that I want right now.

Everything is just perfect.

I am just completely contented.

I'm feeling close to this person that I love.

We just share a beautiful moment.

I just everything's perfect as is.

That's contentment to me.

You know,

And like I said,

It's not the only way I experience contentment,

But that's what the word means to me.

So to me,

If you go as happiness,

The same as contentment.

Yeah,

Basically.

Somebody else might have a completely different,

Maybe not completely different,

But a slightly energetically different meaning of contentment because when they really locked on to what that word means,

It may have been in a completely different scenario.

It could remind them of something completely different or at least subtly different to where there's a little bit of a different energy.

So to me,

I'll say they're very closely related and to most people,

They are very closely related.

Are they the same?

No,

I don't think really any two words are exactly the same.

They might be so similar that there's really not much of a difference except in very specific situations.

But let me know if you want to expand on that because I don't know if I answered the question that you were trying to get at,

But I'll expand on it a little bit more.

So happiness is,

Happiness is,

I think the biggest thing is just that it's from the inside out.

And I say that because the biggest confusion with happiness comes from external momentary pleasure,

Like sex sometimes or like riding a roller coaster or buying a new car or something external.

When it's related to external people,

Like,

Well,

That made me happy.

Like,

No,

That gave you momentary pleasure.

Like happiness is our,

Like I was saying before,

It's our birthright.

Like it's within us all the time.

Like we don't have to do something to get it.

We don't have to.

And Francis said,

I think you answered it beautifully.

Okay,

Thank you.

You know,

Contentment is very similar.

Peace is very similar.

These are all internal words.

We don't need anything to be a certain way externally to feel these feelings of deep happiness.

To me,

Joy is a little different.

To me,

Joy kind of implies action.

I tend to,

The way my brain processes the word joy,

I kind of connect it to action.

I feel joyful when I'm doing action that I love.

It gives me this feeling of joy.

You know,

So to me,

Joy is kind of action related.

So this is what I mean by words having slightly different meanings.

But happiness,

Contentment,

Peace.

I think peace is one of my favorite words because it's less confusing,

I think,

Than happiness.

A lot of times people like,

Oh,

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

No,

That's not happiness.

That's like exhilaration.

That's external.

That's momentary.

Nobody walks around.

Like for 15 years.

Like you can't do that.

You can't maintain that for 15 years.

So that's not deep happiness.

Somebody can walk through life happy basically for 15 years.

That's a lifetime.

I mean,

You know,

Most people doing that?

No.

Most people aren't doing that.

Am I doing that?

No.

I wouldn't say that I walk.

I've definitely not walked around for the last 15 years happy.

I've had long stretches where I've considered myself happy for very long periods of time.

But,

You know,

I still have some work to do too.

So what we're looking for,

And whenever this comes up,

This kind of,

I didn't know where we're going to go here,

But this leads me into the definition of really what we are looking for.

You know,

This thing is realistic expectations is what I'm talking about.

So I talked about nothing being right or wrong,

Leaning in the direction of more joy and more happiness and making those tweaks,

You know.

But ultimately what I feel that the energy is that we're really seeking,

That we really want to lock into because it's amazingly wonderful and it's sustainable.

And we can walk through life with it is this deep spiritual contentment,

This deep love,

This deep,

It's deep.

It's not high up here.

Oh,

My God,

This is so wonderful.

No,

It's not that.

It's down here.

It's in your body.

It's just this deep,

Peaceful knowingness with every fiber of your being that you are loved and all is well and you are cared for.

And you're just a beautiful portion of something greater that's beautiful also.

And it's just this,

Oh,

The connection to that,

The connection to the divine connection to your source.

Just that that deep body,

Heart,

Gut,

Deep connection that is sustainable.

You can get a flat tire.

You can go through very difficult times in life and still keep a portion of your consciousness connected to that.

And if we can do that,

That's when the difficulties don't really knock us around much.

Just like,

Yeah,

It's too bad.

Yeah,

You know,

It's I'm sorry that that person died.

I really loved having them here on Earth with me.

But,

You know,

So I experienced some sadness and I cried.

I cried because I'm going to miss their physical presence.

But I know they're in a wonderful place now and they're not suffering.

And that's OK.

And so like we can still experience sadness and grief and we can still even cry.

But it doesn't knock us out of our deep connectedness,

That deep knowingness that all is well and we are loved.

You know,

That is what we can walk through life with.

So that is we can try to stay connected to that.

That's having a realistic expectation.

Going up,

Oh,

You know.

I'm just going to be happy.

No,

That's not life.

That's surfacy.

You know,

Like I use the word happy all the time because it's a word that,

You know,

A lot of people associate with.

But yeah,

Like if I really have to choose a word that I want to experience and that I try to experience and I am experiencing when I'm in the flow and everything,

You know,

I'm in the flow.

Not my external circumstances are in the flow.

When I'm in the flow,

It has nothing to do with my external circumstances.

You know,

I was struggling against some stuff a few weeks ago and I was very unhappy.

And then three days later after doing some works,

You know,

Some releasing and some connecting to the truth that I am loved and cared for,

Then all of a sudden I was in the exact same circumstances and I was completely at peace,

Contented,

Feeling blissfully happy.

My external circumstances unchanged at all.

So it doesn't have anything to do with the external circumstances.

It has,

It's that deep connectedness.

So I think I'm going to,

I'm going to probably start wrapping it up and I'm going to wrap it up with,

You know,

A little bit more of the real life stuff of the knowing that our life requires adjustments.

You know,

I think that's what it is.

It's not,

Just be happy now,

You know,

Go within,

Just do yourself a favor,

Man.

Stop listening to manifesting freaking recordings and books and all this crap because all that manifesting is trying to get you to focus on something outside.

That's not true manifestation and it works sometimes at best.

If you really want to manifest stuff,

Just,

It's just like everything else.

There are no shortcuts.

If you want happiness,

Do not spend your time trying to manifest external circumstances so you will feel happiness.

That you will not find it.

You will have momentary times of pleasure and you're going to end up very frustrated.

And at some point we all have to do what I'm talking about.

I'm telling you,

Everybody on the planet,

If they are to experience peace,

You have to do what I'm telling you right now.

You have to do it.

There is no way.

You have to let go of the external circumstances and you need to focus within.

You need to go within and you need to find the peace and the love that is inside of you.

That's where it is.

It's where it's always been.

That's where it's always going to be.

And at some point you can learn enough tools to cope with life and manage your boss and set boundaries in your relationships and all this other stuff.

I mean,

I teach it all.

I know all about it.

I teach it.

It's my job.

At the end of the day,

None of it means anything.

Until you go inside and find the peace and the love,

Contentment,

The joy,

The bliss,

The ecstasy that lies within your own soul,

Within your own heart.

It's just there waiting for you to get still enough to be able to connect to it.

Do that.

That is your primary goal.

Do that.

Once you do that,

Everything else will come.

You'll be able to set boundaries and find the right relationship.

You'll be able to manage your difficult parents that you're taking care of now.

You'll be able to figure out how to handle your friends.

You'll be able to manifest new jobs and cars and houses if you want.

You can manifest whatever you want,

But it's got to come.

That's where the strength comes from.

And if you don't believe me,

Go look up Eckhart Tolle's manifestation course.

I've always believed this.

All these manifesting courses,

Many,

Many years ago,

I leaned into them and I could feel that there was something missing from them.

I knew something was missing.

And some of the time I didn't even have the clarity myself what it was missing,

But I knew it was missing.

And then I started figuring it out and understanding it.

And then Tolle came out with,

Several years ago,

Came out with this manifesting course.

And I was like,

I bet you Tolle knows this.

So I signed up for his course and I didn't even finish aching.

I think I watched the first three videos or something.

And right off the bat,

He said,

The first thing about manifesting is forget about manifesting.

You have to,

Because it's very sporadic at best,

If you just try to do it without connection,

Connect first,

Find a piece inside,

Connect to your source,

Connect.

Connect to the stillness within you,

The presence within you.

Do that.

Get good at that.

And then think about manifesting because half the stuff you think you want to manifest,

The reason you want to manifest is because you think it's going to make you happy.

And it doesn't.

So stop trying to manifest stuff to make you happy and start finding the happiness within.

And then figure out what you want to manifest.

And it's going to be so easy.

Manifesting is easy because we don't make it happen.

That's the other thing that they teach.

Oh,

Put tons of energy and tell the universe what you want,

Reinforce it.

It's a load of crap.

That's exactly what you don't do to manifest.

Because we don't make stuff appear.

We don't have the power to make stuff appear.

We are just vessels that the energy that actually manifest things flows through and it's effortless.

Everything I've manifested has been effortless.

I haven't spent a bunch of time going,

Oh,

I'm going to create a business space that I want.

Now I was like,

That'd be cool if I had that.

Then I forgot about it and then it showed up.

That's how manifesting works.

So manifesting is one of the most common spiritual things that draws people out of this.

Addicted to learning is the other thing that draws people out of this.

Go within.

You don't need 32 teachers to tell you how to find happiness.

It's inside of you.

Michael Singer talks about this.

Another one of my favorite teachers.

Untethered Soul.

Epic book.

One of my favorites of all time.

In his interview,

The first time I saw him with Oprah,

He said,

Oprah said,

You've spent a bunch of money.

You've traveled and studied with all these famous gurus all over the world for many years.

So you'd be the one to ask,

How do you find inner peace?

You've done it all.

And he said,

Yes,

I have done it all.

And I have good news for you.

Don't do it.

Don't do any of the stuff that I did.

It was a big waste of time.

It's all within.

What you're seeking is within you.

And that's the truth.

All great teachers will teach that.

Because at the end of the day,

That's the absolute truth.

Whatever you are seeking is within you.

So go within and find it.

Connect to it there.

And then you will see it starting to reflect back to you.

You know,

The things that were upsetting me a few weeks ago were things like Internet and water and my vehicle.

And none of them were the way that I wanted them to.

So it was upsetting me.

And as soon as I found the inner peace within.

None of those things were fixed.

My situation was exactly as it was before.

As a matter of fact,

It was getting worse because I was finding out more problems.

But I was at peace because I wasn't resisting it.

My happiness wasn't contingent on my external circumstances.

It was contingent on finding it within me.

I just kept going within and saying,

I put my peace and my happiness first above everything.

I don't care if I have Internet.

I don't care if I have water.

Consistent water.

Let's clarify,

I did have some water.

It just wasn't consistent,

Which could be very frustrating when you haven't showered in four days.

So dealing with these types of things,

My Jeep breaking down after I just got it,

Like all this stuff was going on.

None of that was fixed.

And I was completely peaceful and contented because I put my peace and my content above the external circumstances.

I don't care if I have to lose my business.

Then I will be broke and peaceful and contented.

And I'll sell coconuts on the side of the street if I have to,

Whatever.

But I am not losing my peace and my happiness,

Period.

Nothing is more important than that.

And that's when I reconnected to it.

And then,

Fast forward a couple of weeks,

All of a sudden the Internet starts getting figured out.

Oh,

All of a sudden the water gets figured out.

Oh,

All of a sudden the Jeep gets fixed.

All of a sudden my external circumstances start reflecting it back to me.

Because I experienced it internally first.

And there were a few little what people would call tests.

I don't usually like to call them tests,

But little tests where like,

Oh,

You know,

I'm at peace,

I'm at peace.

Oh,

Wait a minute,

My Internet went out again for no apparent reason.

What the hell?

I thought my Internet was supposed to be good if I was peaceful inside.

No,

No,

No.

That's manipulation.

That's me trying to manipulate the universe to get what I want.

No,

I'm happy and peaceful whether I have Internet or whether I don't have Internet.

That's the rule.

Oh,

Yeah,

Okay,

Yeah.

Doesn't bother me.

Fine.

Oh,

Another thing wrong with my Jeep?

That's okay.

I'm not getting knocked off my piece.

I'm not getting knocked off my happiness.

I'm not.

My piece and my contentment are deeper than that.

And nothing is knocking me off of it.

Period.

And then,

Now did I still take action to fix those things?

Sure,

You can still,

I can still fix things.

I still got my Jeep fixed.

You can still take action.

We don't have to be miserable when things happen that we don't like.

We can be peaceful,

Happy and contented regardless of our external circumstances.

That's your realistic expectation.

You do get that.

You get to have that.

If you go within,

You get to have peace and contentment regardless of your external circumstances.

But you have to make it bigger than everything.

Whatever you put above it is going to get tested.

Well,

I'll put,

I will be peaceful and contented no matter what.

As long as I have Internet because I need my business and I have to eat somehow.

And I mean,

Come on,

Let's be realistic.

No,

Doesn't count.

Doesn't work that way.

Doesn't work that way.

I have to be willing to risk that,

Too.

We have to be willing to risk it all.

Leap and the net will appear.

That's where the faith comes in.

This is our spiritual work.

We can't know it's going to work out before we leap.

We can't say,

I will love you as long as you give me what I want.

I will say I love God as long as God gives me what I want.

No,

That's not how it works.

You either love God or you don't.

It's not conditional.

This is unconditional love.

We've been taught conditional love in this earthly realm by society.

No,

This is unconditional love.

There's no conditions on it.

That's where your peace and your happiness lives,

People.

So go get it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for watching.

Thank you for listening.

Chickadee,

Check it out on Insight Timer and all the other places that I have this.

Thank you.

This was fun to talk about.

So hope you're doing well.

And please go within what you're seeking is there.

Know what you seek is inside.

And thank you.

A little special thank you for Melanie,

My new friend and Abby and Francis.

Thank you,

Guys.

Thank you,

Guys.

Thank you,

Guys.

And everybody else that was listening.

And as we know,

A lot of times I do not see comments from different places.

You know,

I think it's my Facebook personal account that I don't see comments from.

And we keep fixing it and it keeps kicking it out.

So I'm not sure what's going on with that.

So if you guys are watching and have made comments there,

I apologize for not answering them.

It's because I did not see them.

Maybe someday we'll have a fix for this.

But my happiness is not contingent on it.

OK,

I hope yours is not contingent on it either.

All right.

Peace and love,

Everybody.

I will talk with you soon.

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Reviews

This was another good one, and lovely to have a mention! What an honour! Thanks as always Glenn, love and blessings 💜 x