Welcome to this de-escalation meditation.
Oftentimes when we have an important conversation,
We can find ourselves not knowing what to say,
But perhaps more importantly,
How to say it.
Not just with the words that we choose,
But in the energy we say it with.
This meditation will invite you to change your energy from the inside out so that when you deliver whatever message to whoever,
It's delivered with the right heart.
We can begin by sitting in a comfortable position and adjusting our bodies upright and relaxed for our meditation.
You can choose to have your eyes open or closed as you see fit.
And really take the time,
Make those micro-adjustments to become comfortable,
And as we begin,
I'm going to invite you to take a deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
And now gently bring your awareness to the sensation of your breathing.
Notice what the exhale feels like.
The sensation of your shoulders,
Of your nostrils,
Of your belly.
However you notice your breath is okay.
There's no one right way to feel the breath.
But this will be our anchor for our meditation.
So if at any point you get distracted,
Simply return with a sense of gentleness back to your breath and the feeling of breathing.
Try to see if you can notice those micro-movements,
Those micro-sensations of breathing.
The more granular you can get,
The better.
Can you notice the temperature shifts of your breath?
Can you notice the way your body opens up as you inhale,
Expanding in all the little areas?
And the way it contracts and perhaps relaxes as you exhale?
Can you notice how your muscles change as you breathe?
And now remember,
If you get distracted,
We simply return to the breath.
It's okay to be distracted.
It's really why we're here.
We're here so that we can practice our gentleness in returning again and again.
And it's this same gentleness that we'll use to de-escalate ourselves and our hearts for whatever conversation we will be in.
If you are curious,
That's a great strategy.
Being curious about our breath and how we feel it.
Being curious about what gentleness feels like in the body when we return to that breath.
And in the same way,
We can use that overall feeling of curiosity when we talk to whoever we must talk to.
Sometimes when we speak with people,
We're so sure what they're going to say,
Or how they'll respond,
Or how the conversation goes,
That our body will prepare for it,
Emanating the very energy we may fear will come from it.
But what if we could enter with this same sense of gentle curiosity?
Set the tone for the discussion with the same slow gentleness that we use to return to our breath and hold our awareness of our breath.
And with each exhale now,
See if you can notice your muscles relaxing a bit more,
Softening little by little.
Perhaps with one exhale,
You feel your shoulders loosen.
And with another,
You feel your hands relax.
And with yet another exhale,
We may notice our face relaxes and goes slack.
Now,
Begin to notice as you continue this practice of relaxing and softening on the exhale,
What does your body feel like as it softens?
How are you holding yourself as you relax breath by breath?
And with this same sensation,
Imagine carrying this body into the conversation exactly as it is,
Relaxed and soft,
Communicating whatever you need to with a sense of gentleness,
Not just for them,
But for you.
And a gentleness coming from the softest part of your heart that is now still,
Remembering that at any time,
You can rest your awareness on your breath and reach this stillness,
Always within reach,
Always there.
As the Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said,
Peace is every step.
And for whatever conversation you have,
Remember it's not what you say,
It's how you say it.
Peace is every word.
And may you go in peace.
