I wanted to take the time to talk about being versus doing.
I think in our society we reward doing so much.
A lot of what we consider and how we interact with the world is through doing.
This came to me during a meditation with my own mind while I was trying to settle,
Watch,
Become aware,
And even within my speech,
You can hear,
I was trying to settle.
I was doing and I was reminded during this instance,
Wow,
Even when trying to be,
I tried to do.
And I thought it was such an interesting conundrum.
It's not the first time I've confronted this but it's certainly not the last either.
It's something that we are ingrained in.
If I want to get up,
I have to do getting up.
If I want to make coffee,
I have to do that.
I want to complete whatever work I have to do for my employment,
I have to do that.
And so our life can inevitably become one string of doing to another string of doing to another string of doing.
Doing as an employee,
Doing as a parent,
Doing as a child,
Doing as a friend,
Doing as a partner.
It seems that we are stuck sometimes in a loop of doing.
And when I was contemplating why this was so,
I thought so to myself,
Why is this so for me?
And I came upon the fact that I don't spend as much time being.
Sure,
There are moments even beyond my meditation where I am just being.
Whether it be walking or just basking in friendship in between moments of conversation with my friends.
Or even if it's going to the gym and trying to focus on lifting a specific weight or doing a body movement of a particular sort.
Those are moments of being where I'm not self-conscious,
I'm not self-referencing,
I'm simply doing and being.
And it becomes a blur of one to the other.
I am just existing.
And yet those are not the predominant modes of how I am.
So I considered talking about this simply because there are moments in the beginning of a meditator's journey when they're learning to meditate.
And the hardest part I found as a meditation teacher is trying to convey this split between doing and being.
This was not just,
You know,
Personal discourse about myself,
Though I do love talking about myself.
It's simply to illustrate this point that even for experienced meditators,
This is a challenge,
A day-to-day challenge.
But especially for a beginning meditator who doesn't have this kind of vocabulary or conceptual abstract idea in their head,
It can be difficult when sitting down to meditate to realize what you're supposed to be doing.
Do you see?
I've noticed a lot of students sometimes sit down and in their conveyance to me they're trying to explain that they were trying to do this and they were trying to do that.
And of course I try to give helpful feedback or guidance within my ability.
And I realized that the disconnect comes not in my advice isn't good enough or their understanding isn't good enough.
It's there's a there's a miscommunication,
A disconnect.
We're not sharing the same language almost.
And so I find often in poetry there is a lot better communication than in normal just layman vernacular communication.
So when considering how to explain meditation,
We can go the Zen way of just sit and say that and give as little instruction as possible.
But I do like to be more generous than that.
Although that was helpful for me for a bit,
I think long term it wasn't terribly supportive of my practice.
So what I will say to you as someone listening to this as a new meditator is simply sit and observe yourself trying to do.
So if you're sitting to meditate,
Notice yourself trying to meditate.
Are you focusing on your breath or are you aware of your breath?
Are you exploring the world around you and trying to grab it with your mind?
Or are you simply allowing the world around you to come to you?
When you notice yourself,
Get distracted.
Are you trying to fix it?
Fixing being a doing action?
That's okay.
Notice the fixing.
Notice your mind try to fix.
Notice your mind try to meditate.
It's all part of the practice.
And so ultimately when we say this is all part of the practice,
That is what is meant.
Even as we do,
As long as we are aware of the doing,
We are being.
And if you feel like that's still not quite right,
And you're still missing something,
Then notice.
Become aware of your mind feeling this.
This isn't quite right feeling.
Notice that feeling of there's something missing.
That's what I love about meditation.
That's what I love about,
I should say,
Awareness practices.
Everything can be a gateway to presence.
It's as if in every single moment there is a welcoming hand saying,
No matter what this is,
This too can be useful to you.
So I would ask and invite that you carry that with you into your practice.
That no matter how frustrating,
Upsetting,
Or how much you feel,
This is not the right way.
As long as you notice yourself having these thoughts and feelings with a gentle awareness and holding space for that,
You're on your way.
Thank you.
