As human beings,
We all have an inner voice that sometimes can be overly critical,
Harsh,
Or negative.
This inner voice,
Often referred to as the inner critic,
Can cause us to doubt ourselves,
Question our abilities,
And hold us back from realizing our full potential.
Learning to harness the power of your inner critic can help you gain confidence,
Self-love,
Clarity,
And achieve your goals beyond your wildest dreams.
In this conversation,
We will explore the role of the inner critic within the creative cycle,
And I'll share with you 11 tips for communing with your inner critic and how you can harness the power of your inner critic.
If you see yourself as a perfectionist,
Then you might hear the voice of the inner critic quite loudly within your internal landscape.
Many of us choose to deal with the inner critic either by trying to silence or overcome it,
Or perhaps by ignoring or avoiding it completely.
An important thing to realize is that,
Just like your inner champion,
Who bolsters your self-worth,
Connects you authentically with yourself and others,
Your inner critic plays a crucial role and is absolutely necessary in your path to realizing your full potential.
Within the creative cycle and the five elements,
The inner critic is associated with the metal element,
With the powers of refinement,
Setting healthy boundaries,
Separation between yourself and others,
And the power of letting go what no longer serves you.
Within the women's life cycle,
This can be most strongly felt during the phase of perimenopause and menopause itself,
And within the menstrual cycle,
You can feel it during the luteal phase or PMS,
The premenstrual phase.
Within a creative project,
This is the process of refining,
Reviewing,
And crystallizing the essence and the gems to be preserved and kept.
When in balance,
The power of the inner critic and the metal element surfaces as this ability to refine and reduce something complex and unwieldy into something refined,
Precious,
And beautiful.
It also has this ability to bring closure to projects,
Relationships,
Phases,
So that you can gracefully move on to the next phase and the next stage of life.
It helps us maintain unbelievably high standards that for many others is unimaginable.
It also governs this ability to let go of things and people that you cannot control.
It helps us process the feeling of regret.
It also helps us be organized and have a great attention to detail.
And lastly,
It supports us in having the courage to say no to others,
Having clear boundaries,
And a sense of discernment.
The inner critic is driven to protect you from threats.
Your inner critic typically holds you back by reminding you of your greatest fears,
Disappointments,
Regrets from your past,
Limiting beliefs you currently hold that may stop you from realizing your dreams in the future,
And any potential scenarios where you might get hurt by yourself or others.
When your inner critic is overly strong,
This can surface in the form of having unrealistically high and unattainable expectations of everything that could then come at the expense of your relationships with others,
And more importantly,
With yourself.
You could feel overwhelmed by feelings of grief,
Regret.
You could be dwelling on all the things you did wrong or that were not good enough.
You could become so overly obsessed with the details and the performance that you lose sight of the big picture.
You could also become overly critical,
Cynical,
Or harsh on yourself as well as others.
And in some moments,
You might not be able to let go,
Move on,
And instead you linger or dwell in the past.
Most importantly,
This surfaces in the form of a focus on scarcity,
Permeated by the feeling of,
I am not good enough,
I am never enough,
And as a result you might cut out others,
You might isolate yourself,
And become overly rigid or inflexible.
The very first step to harnessing the power of your inner critic is to notice and acknowledge when your inner critic is present.
Pay attention to the thoughts and dialogue that go through your mind as well as physiological symptoms like a feeling of contraction,
Smallness,
When you're faced with a new challenge,
Mistake,
Or setback.
The second step is to notice the triggers and situations that cause your inner critic to speak up.
When I started to track my menstrual cycle,
It became so obvious to me that my inner critic was the most outspoken during my luteal phase,
The days of my pre-menstruation.
Knowing this helped me prepare myself mentally in the days leading up to my PMS.
Whenever I noticed my inner voice becoming overly critical,
I was able to identify and realize that it was the result of hormonal fluctuations and specific external situations and triggers that affected me.
If you are perimenopausal,
As you are undergoing a major hormonal and life transition,
You might find the voice of the inner critic speaking often and quite loudly.
The third step is to begin to realize that your inner critic is not you.
It is a voice within you that has developed over time based on your past experiences and beliefs.
Allow yourself to create a sense of boundary and separation,
A small distance between the voice of your inner critic and yourself,
And see your inner critic as a separate entity.
If it helps,
You can give your inner critic a name,
A shape,
A color,
Or even a persona,
And you might notice when your inner critic is speaking.
If you wish,
You may even write a letter to your inner critic,
Expressing how you feel about their presence,
And later try the same exercise,
Writing from the point of view of your inner critic back to yourself.
You'll be surprised what you notice.
Refer to my Insight Timer course,
The Power of the Creative Cycle,
Where I go through this exercise in detail.
The fourth step is to notice if your inner critic is being critical or judgmental,
Or if and when it is actually offering useful insight and information which you may have failed to see previously.
Sometimes the inner critic may be portraying a more extreme version of the truth that is playing out in your life,
And at other times the inner critic may be painting a completely untrue picture of what's happening.
If you're struggling to discern if what your inner critic says is true,
You may wish to check in with your inner champion,
Or a trusted friend or family member who can give you an objective perspective.
Having these diverse perspectives will make clear to you that your inner critic might be merely presenting a perspective that could be subjective.
The fifth step is to begin to challenge these negative thoughts.
When your inner critic starts to speak,
Realize that you have the power to challenge its negativity.
Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts,
Or if they are just assumptions or untrue beliefs.
Challenge the evidence for these negative thoughts,
And come up with alternative,
More positive perspectives.
The sixth tip to harnessing the power of your inner critic is to practice being gentle with yourself.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness,
Care,
And empathy that you would offer to a friend who is struggling as you are when your inner critic is attacking you.
Whenever you notice your inner critic being harsh or critical,
Allow a feeling of self-compassion by offering yourself words of comfort and encouragement as you face your inner critic.
The seventh step,
Or tip,
Is to celebrate your accomplishments,
Strengths,
And feed your inner champion.
It's very easy to focus on your shortcomings and mistakes,
But it is equally important to celebrate your accomplishments and your strengths.
Connect with your inner champion and take time routinely every day to acknowledge and celebrate your values,
Strengths,
And your achievements,
As well as how far you've grown,
No matter how small they may be.
When your inner critic is being overly critical,
Remind yourself to focus on your strengths and remind yourself how far you've come from who you were from before.
Remind yourself of the things you do well,
And the positive impact that you have on yourself and on others you love,
As well as the world.
Tip number eight is to surround yourself with outer champions,
People who are supportive and joyful.
Within the creative cycle,
The element of earth feeds metal.
The inner critic and the metal element can benefit from the presence of not just your inner champion,
Which is associated with the fire element,
But also outer champions,
People who are supportive and positive,
Affirmative,
Such as those predominantly of the earth element,
People who are grounding,
Empathetic,
Loving,
And supportive towards you.
In the creative cycle,
Fire controls or melts metal.
If you notice your inner critic and metal tendencies coming up,
Being around someone who's predominantly of the fire element,
People who are frank,
Loving,
Expressive,
And love a good laugh,
They can help to lighten up your rigidity and sometimes cutting nature.
In general,
If you already consider yourself as being hypercritical,
You may want to avoid being in the company of others who are overly critical or judgmental.
Surrounding yourself with people who are loving and expressive and joyful,
Fire element people,
And those people who are empathetic,
Supportive,
And grounded,
Earth element people,
Will help you feel more confident and supported.
Tip number nine,
Practice embracing imperfection.
Nobody is perfect,
And it is important to accept that.
It may be challenging,
But learning to embrace your imperfections and mistakes is essential for you to realize your full potential and have a healthy relationship with your inner critic.
Recognize that your imperfections are what make you unique,
Just like the art of kintsugi,
Where broken bowls are mended together by using gold filling between each of the cracks.
The final product is nothing like the one from before it was broken,
But it is even more beautiful and exquisite because of the imperfections.
Tip number 10,
Set realistic goals.
Setting realistic goals can help you feel more confident and less overwhelmed.
If you have big goals,
Remember to break them down into smaller,
More manageable steps and prioritize and order them in a systematic way,
Moving through them slowly and steadily.
And don't forget to celebrate whenever you make progress and complete one milestone every single time.
Notice when you're feeling overwhelmed by the volume of work or things such as obligations or responsibilities that you have to fulfill.
Notice when the inner critic starts to rise up.
If that's the case,
Reminding yourself what is truly realistic rather than going for the ideal.
What if I settle with enough?
Reminding yourself that enough is perfect and to embrace the realism of having realistic goals.
If you're experiencing overwhelm,
My 10-day Overwhelm to Ease Time and Energy Management Hacks course on Insight Timer will help you overcome overwhelm and also empower you to step into focus and flow.
Tip number 11,
The last and final tip.
If you are struggling with the inner critic and you've tried all of the tips mentioned from before and you notice that your inner critic is causing significant distress or holding you back from achieving your goals,
You might consider seeking professional help from a coach,
A therapist or counselor.
A professional such as a coach,
Therapist or counselor can provide you with tools and strategies for managing your inner critic and building your self-confidence and self-love.
Harnessing the power of your inner critic can be challenging,
But it is possible with practice and persistence.
By implementing these 11 tips,
You can learn to harness the power of your inner critic and use it to fuel your success and personal growth.
I hope you enjoyed this short talk on how to harness the power of your inner critic and I hope you bring these insights with you into the rest of your day and the rest of your life.
