The Power Of Forgiveness - Weekly Energy Boost

The key to forgiveness lies in knowing that there is nothing to forgive. We’ve been put in exactly the right place at exactly the right time so that we may fulfill our personal destiny. From this place of understanding, forgiveness becomes a powerful and transformative tool to free us from pain and suffering and to pave the way for a better life.

This is episode 2 of 2 on Forgiveness.
Original airdate: 7/13/20

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I am here this lovely Monday morning for those of us in the US.

It is Labour Day,

But David and I are hard at work laboring over the Weekly Energy Boost.

For those of you that are new to the show,

Every week we present the most powerful and practical advice,

Prescriptions,

Secrets,

Wisdom,

Drawn from the wisdom of Kabbalah.

David and I are both Kabbalah teachers at the Kabbalah Centre,

And this show is really dedicated to helping make that wisdom more accessible,

More practical,

And while it's specific to the coming seven days,

It's kind of a spiritual weather forecast,

These are lessons and this is wisdom that you can use any day of the year,

Any time in your life.

We're specifically talking about the power of forgiveness.

This week,

Really it's this whole month we are supported by the universe to free ourselves from the past,

From burdens,

From the weight of the things we perceive in our life that were mistakes or accidents or shouldn't have happened,

And so one of the things we want to focus on today is helping our listeners connect with that power and utilise these next seven days to release themselves from whatever baggage or burdens we've been holding onto that,

Well,

We'll get into it.

What do you think are the top things that people struggle with in this area?

I think number one is being hurt by others,

Whether it's betrayal,

Rejection,

Criticism,

It's really,

I think some of the hardest things in our lives to reconcile is when we have a good heart,

When we're doing our best,

And it's not met with,

We don't see the results of our good intentions manifest and that hurts.

So I want to ask a question just to go a little bit deeper just because we always deal with this topic on a surface level and I want to really understand why we feel the way we feel.

So a person hurts you or criticises you,

The two examples you gave,

What's so bad about that?

Why is somebody in pain about being,

Okay,

So you get betrayed.

So two scenarios,

You get betrayed and you say,

Okay,

I just got betrayed and you move on.

So I mean,

That just sends like the intellectual way of doing it,

But why is it that a person feels betrayed and then all of a sudden for 10,

20 years,

This thought of this person,

This memory of this person,

This pain lingers,

What does that mean pain lingers or why does it linger?

Why doesn't it just come and go?

Well,

The process that the Kabbalists talk about,

It's basically a four step process we go through.

Something happens,

We get triggered.

So let's say in this example,

Someone betrays us,

We have a reactive response to it.

Why do we have a reactive response?

Why do we have a reactive response?

I don't want us to get away with what happens.

I want to,

I want to,

I want to,

I'm trying to go deeper.

You're just interrupting.

Well,

No,

David has a point.

There's the,

Let me give the four steps and then we'll get into the background situation.

So there's the trigger and I don't want to,

Maybe we're using betrayal as the example here,

But it can be anything,

Right?

Any kind of loss,

Rejection,

Any adverse situation,

External situation happens.

We have a reactive response and we use the word reactive in Kabbalah because it's not a conscious choice.

We're not saying,

Hmm,

How should I respond to this?

We have a knee jerk reaction and we usually have a few go to each,

Each person has a few go to knee jerk reactions.

Sometimes it's blame,

Hurt,

Anger.

It's fight,

Flight or freeze because there's this pain,

There's some kind of void and we don't like to live in a state of void,

Right?

We need energy.

So at that moment we don't have it.

So we look for it.

So we have that reaction.

Then we have something that we call in Kabbalah,

The opponent,

Which is this force cosmic force.

It's also every individual is subject to and is unique to every individual in the world.

Every individual,

Every individual in the world.

If you're on the planet,

You've got it.

That opponent starts working on you.

This always happens to you.

Nobody loves me.

There's a whole story.

The whole story unfolds.

The narrator begins and sometimes the narrator will also tell us you should hurt them back.

You should never fall in love again.

You should never date anybody again.

You should never risk again.

Right there.

So you have the trigger,

The reaction,

The opponent's story,

And then what you do in response.

Right?

So you may shut down.

You may decide not to listen to the voice of the opponent,

Which is a whole other,

We can have a whole other show about that.

But the typical flow is that we build a,

We put up a wall,

We plan ourselves,

We plan our attack.

We go into dark mode,

Let's call it.

Now David wants to get to why do we do that?

Well,

I think we sort of answered why we do that is because we don't,

Our nature is to be fulfilled and our nature is to be in a state where we feel complete and whole.

And I want our listeners to remember that phrase that our essence,

Our essence knows,

Like our soul knows that we need to be complete and whole.

It just doesn't know how to get to that point because the opponent confuses us and tells us the way to become complete and whole is by stealing and taking energy from the people around you.

Stealing is a harsh word.

I would say grabbing.

Grabbing,

Forcefully taking,

Interrupting everyone's life in order to hijack their energy.

Is that better?

Better.

Okay.

So that's what the,

It's very,

Here's the thing.

The goal is the same both for the most spiritual and the least spiritual person.

The goal is the same.

Our goal is to feel whole.

That's why we wake up in the morning.

That's why we listen to a radio show.

That's why we open the fridge.

That's why we stop calling it a radio show.

That's right.

It's a podcast.

It's a podcast.

You know,

So,

So.

Some kids are listening and don't even know what the radio is.

That's true.

It's true.

The essence of all of us demands the same thing,

Which is I want to feel whole.

Now here comes the opponent.

The opponent's job is to make us feel whole by telling us the way to feel whole is by taking energy from other people.

What we call reactive behavior,

Right?

The,

The way that the Kabbalists are teaching us,

Which is the divine way that the creator intended.

And if we do this way,

This new way,

This harder way,

The way that the opponent does not want us to do,

Then we open ourselves up to the realm of the blessings coming to us.

And the person actually unlocks what's called the endless light.

And the endless light comes in and then manifest in this world as all the physical pleasures and blessings that we want.

And the reason why people feel constantly in a state of,

I don't have,

I don't have enough.

They get bored easily.

They feel that it's a repetitive chaos,

Same types of relationships,

Same types of whatever is because of the method by which they're receiving,

By taking energy.

They're taking the energy.

They're not receiving the energy via the spiritual tools and laws that we've outlined.

So going back to what we're talking about before.

So this concept of feeling whole is,

Is something that I want to share some secrets about,

But we won't get to that yet.

I think we've kind of delineated the,

The,

The point of what we're trying to say of the two types of receiving energy and the reason why people have hurt and pain,

Which is a stain on the soul,

The things that keep coming back again and again and again,

And we feel it and things get triggered in our minds.

Again,

You start to dream about this person.

You start to,

You start to see signs that this person,

This person starts to reach out to all of us at it and that pain and that hurt comes back.

It's because there's a stain that's created on the soul because of the reactive way that we took energy when the situation occurred.

I kind of think of it as a light bulb when it short circuits,

Which is synonymous with reactive behavior.

A light bulb is that is taking energy in the wrong way and then creates a flash and then it's dark.

There's always that stain in the light bulb.

We've seen that the black where it burns out,

Where it burns out,

Right?

You see that black stain and light bulb.

Essentially the soul is the same thing.

When we burn out,

We take a flash of energy in the wrong way and then we crash.

The burnout causes that black char in the bulb and then it needs to be cleansed and corrected in a future situation,

A future relationship.

I think it's also important,

You know,

In the context of forgiveness.

I saw a comment before someone was saying,

Well,

What if the other person doesn't deserve forgiveness?

I want to clarify that everything that we're talking about today is not about the other person.

You don't,

The other person doesn't even need to be alive in order for us to process forgiveness.

Forgiveness is for the forgiver,

Not the forgivie.

A lot of times people resist forgiveness because whatever they're holding onto,

Let's say it's a grudge or it's a hurt or it's resentment,

It protects them.

Not forgiving is a protection mechanism that keeps me not only from,

I think it'll keep me from not getting into that scenario again or it prevents me from taking responsibility for my part in the undoing.

I want to talk about that too.

That's a beautiful point that you brought up because it's one of the first things that we learned in Kabbalah 1,

Which is what's your goal?

Based on your goal is how you're going to act.

Why do people have a desire to hurt the other person or get back at the other person is because they have a goal in mind.

In their mind,

The goal is everybody should respect me or the goal is I need to be in control of my situation or I need to be in control of my life or whatever the goal.

Everyone has weird goals.

These goals are very small minded goals.

According to the Kabbalists,

There's only one goal and that goal encompasses all the other goals.

What the opponent does is he makes us focus on small goals.

What's a small goal?

I'm going to get to that.

The small goals are what the Kabbalists call little pleasures.

Little pleasures.

What's a little pleasure?

I want everybody to like me.

That's a little pleasure.

What's a little pleasure?

I need my dad's approval.

What's a little pleasure?

I know certain people that they're so talented and they have so much potential to create long term wealth but what they do is they keep hearing the siren songs of these small opportunities.

I remember one guy was fighting with a guy in a butcher shop because of a $10 coupon that he wouldn't accept.

I'm telling him,

For 20 minutes he's fighting about it.

The coupon was expired.

I don't know what happened.

I said to him,

One hour of your time is worth probably $4 or $500 an hour.

You're that smart.

You wasted 20 minutes of it talking about a coupon.

There's a lot of people like that.

I know a lot of successful people that will fight you for 30 minutes to get a deal to save them $15 when in reality their time is worth $400 or $500 an hour maybe in the outside world.

What does that mean?

The opponent makes us think small.

That's also a metaphor.

I want to make sure everybody realizes David is also presenting that as a metaphor.

It's not necessarily about dollar value.

It's not necessarily about dollar value.

I'm just going to give you that example.

It's not even a metaphor.

It's just a real life example in one department of life.

We do this all the time.

We opt for the small pleasures.

We opt for in relationships we do the same thing.

We don't think about the long-term fulfillment we can have with another person.

We sometimes look for ways that we can just take from that person as if they're our personal energetic ATF.

Or we look for excitement.

You might just need excitement.

Because you get excited about the tiniest little things,

You're not opening yourself up to receive the truly big things that you can have.

That's correct.

What are we telling people when they start to study Kabbalah that opens their mind that there's a big pleasure?

The big pleasure is what your soul's desire is.

The soul's desire is to connect with what's called the endless light,

Which is everything,

Which is complete oneness with the Creator.

When a person has this,

We call it d'vakut,

This cleaving,

This oneness,

Then all the little pleasures that you do want and we should have and it should be fulfilled,

Start to be fulfilled in the right time,

In the right way.

But the difference is that the universe starts to give it to you,

Not you or us from our neediness chasing after it.

And that's the difference between fulfillment or lack of fulfillment is how we approach the very energies that we all should have.

We all should have respect.

We all should have everyone love us and have approval.

Not because we're demanding it or forcing it.

Exactly.

How you go about getting it is what will determine whether,

A,

You receive it or not,

Because anybody who runs after approval runs away.

Whether you receive it or not,

Number one.

And number two,

Even if you did get everybody to like you,

Whether you'd be able to enjoy that and be fulfilled from it and you wouldn't immediately become addicted and need other types of energies,

That is determined by,

Again,

The how you do it.

So our soul's desire,

And we learned this in Kabbalah,

I tell the people,

Chase the light.

Wake up in the morning and say,

My desire is for the light of the Creator.

Even if you don't know what that means,

Just think it's everything.

It's kind of like,

I want everything.

All the flavors of fulfillment.

All the flavors in the ice cream shop.

I went to the gelato place last week and it was literally a hundred flavors.

And I said,

Well,

Which one's your vegan ice cream?

So then they wrote it down to 20.

Yeah,

No,

20.

It was 20.

And I said,

Can I have a sample?

And they said,

No,

Because we don't do samples now because of COVID.

So then I said,

So many flavors.

And I thought to myself,

You know,

In the reality of the light of the Creator,

I can taste all the flavors at once.

It's very deep,

What I just said.

Deep thoughts.

Very,

Very deep.

But instead I had to settle for,

I don't know,

The chocolate brownie fudge thing.

And I realized that's what we do in this world.

We always settle for a flavor.

You can have all the flavors.

You just have to keep going back to the gelato store.

You just have to keep taking cabala wine.

Okay.

So going back to forgiveness,

I think that part of what the universe is showing us and you guys can,

I mean,

I know that a lot of people commented when they saw we were going to talk about this.

Oh my God,

It couldn't come at a better time.

I want to point out that it's not that we're asking everybody,

What are you going through?

And we're talking about it.

This is something caballistically that is set in stone,

That these things are going to come up during this time period.

The universe always is supporting us to do this growth.

And sometimes it feels like it's against us because we may see this week,

Those old hurts,

Those old resentments,

Those grudges come up,

They're coming up so we can let them go.

And I want to make sure that we talk about some ways,

Both intellectually and energetically,

So we can let those things go.

I remembered a number of years ago,

I came across a statement or an article,

Or I don't even know what it was,

And I wrote it on my Facebook wall.

So last night I was looking,

Going through like years of posts trying to find what I wrote and I found it and I wrote it and I want to read it because I think it will set us in too.

The next time you see someone behaving rudely,

Strangely or ignorantly,

Remember that there's probably a very sad story behind that behavior.

And I think that there's a lot of,

I mean we had Batya Solomon on the show a couple months ago and one of the things she was saying is that the only thing there is is love.

Love is the way that the light force of the creator expresses itself and we don't have to love everybody.

I'm not sitting here saying you need to look at all these people behaving badly and love them,

But to stand in their shoes for a second,

To have compassion,

To know that the reason what they do triggers your lack is because they're operating from lack.

I think that that's the starting point to any forgiveness process is to know that if anyone did something to you,

It's because they too were acting out of some sort of hurt,

Resentment,

Fear,

Anger,

Something in them that is unhealed,

That has a hole in it and they were trying to fill their hole with hurting or betraying or criticizing you.

And that the same way,

I mean I think I've even talked about it once,

You know if you're walking down the street and the two year old looks at you and says,

Or three year old looks at you and says,

You're ugly.

Are you going to schedule cosmetic surgery on that day?

Probably not because.

.

.

I mean I think I would take it personally because it's almost like they have no agenda.

They have no agenda.

They're purely a channel.

You know what I mean.

It's very easy.

.

.

Pure a channel.

They must see it as it is.

Okay,

So sorry I used that example,

But you get what I'm saying,

That if it's a crazy person on the street,

You're going to say the same thing.

If the person is not connected to you personally,

It's a lot easier to let things roll off you.

But when it's someone who loves you,

That you love,

That lets something hurtful slip in a passionate moment or they have a hard day and they take it out on you or maybe in your childhood you had a parent that was emotionally unavailable or hurtful or whatever,

Those kind of wounds are a lot harder to heal than the ones of the check out,

The cashier at the supermarket was rude to you.

It's a lot harder to let the deeper seated hurts heal.

But the Kabbalists teach that everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason,

Not only even the painful things,

Especially the painful things,

Because we're here to heal our tikkun.

And we talk about tikkun both in Kabbalah 1 and a lot of times on the show.

Our tikkun is our soul's plan for perfection,

Our soul's correction process,

And our entire lives are orchestrated to facilitate that.

So if I committed to transform the character flaw of aggressiveness,

Let's say,

Or give me another one,

Something a little bit more relatable,

I don't know why I'm drawing a blank,

Controlling,

I'm going to find myself surrounded by controlling people,

Not as a punishment,

But as a way to heal my own scratches,

So to speak.

So that the anytime somebody comes and hurts me,

What's really happening there is I'm being shown where my healing needs to take place.

So that if again,

I mean,

I'm thinking about all these scenarios that have happened,

Somebody makes you feel less than,

Are they the problem?

Or is the fact that you have the tendency,

Not that it's a problem,

My point again is that the trigger is not the cause.

Remember,

We talked about there's a trigger,

There's a reactive behavior,

There's the opponent story,

And then there's the whatever you do as a result.

The actual cause of all of that scenario is our reactive behavior,

Our tikkun.

You're saying the source of how this,

Basically,

There's a slide that we show,

I think it's in the middle of Kabbalah 1 and Kabbalah 2,

That we show the chronological events of how a challenge occurs.

And a lot of people think it's a challenge.

A challenge occurs is not the first step.

Yeah,

Exactly.

A challenge occurs is how it physically manifested in this world.

The same way,

Okay,

The big bang was the physical manifestation of our world from the very beginning,

But Kabbalah talks,

Okay,

What was the thought,

What was the consciousness,

What was the behind the scenes energy?

What preceded that physical situation?

Exactly,

Exactly.

So every challenge is preceded by the negativity of my soul called my tikkun telling the actors in this world to come and challenge me.

So the tikkun,

The correction that my soul needs,

The healing that my soul needs is the first force in the chronological events of how a challenge occurs that dictates to these people to hurt you.

So that means that step number two becomes step number one.

So if I came to this world to work on growing my self-esteem,

I'm going to have triggers that are going to touch that wound of low self-esteem,

Not so that I will succumb and feel bad about myself and all the other unhealthy behaviors that might ensue,

But so that I can heal that wound.

If somebody didn't,

Let's say,

Poke that wound,

How would I know it's there?

Those people are there to say,

And again,

We're not talking about them.

That doesn't justify anybody's rudeness,

Harshness,

Criticalness,

Bad behavior.

This is,

I think,

One of the hardest things for people and I see it a lot when in Kabbalah 1 and Kabbalah 2,

We're learning all these powerful concepts and people are saying,

Well,

What about the other person?

Well,

What about the other person?

Well,

What if the other person isn't proactive?

Well,

What if the other person doesn't want life?

While you may have to deal with the other person,

Your first line of defense is you.

So you're in a situation,

Something triggers you and it awakens,

It pokes,

I can't think of a better word,

Pokes your low self-esteem wound and you have a choice in that moment to listen to your opponent tell you what a worthless piece of poo you are or to say,

You know what?

No,

I am a pure spark of the light force of the Creator.

I am a perfect soul that has come with things to transform and I am not going to let this be my story.

And it's important to touch upon something you just said,

Which is when you feel it,

Then you can heal it.

I just rhymed that one.

I'm really impressed.

When you feel that you can heal it.

There it is.

We think that by not,

This is the paradox about forgiveness,

Right?

We think that I will hold a grudge.

I will hold onto my hurt.

I will close my heart and no one will be able to hurt me again.

And then I can heal.

No,

The opposite.

And that doesn't mean,

And I think the low self-worth thing is a really good example because you should be working on it and strengthening yourself between hurts.

But know that your healing happens when the trigger is activated and you are able to recognize it.

You pause in that moment.

You see the trigger for what it is and you do not let the story continue.

I want to emphasize the value of the belief system that when you feel hurt,

Despite what's happening around you in the story and the opponent,

It's very intense when it's happening.

But when you feel that pain,

At the very least know that now there is an opportunity to heal that pain.

And it's something that you cannot heal when it's not aroused or awakened.

Now forget,

Yes,

There's a lot going on and it's intense and there's hurt and there's chaos and things,

I'm about to lose something,

I'm about to gain something.

Put all that aside for a moment.

Just know if I can plant this in your brain,

When you feel pain the next time,

The one thing you should remember is,

Oh,

They should have this voice.

It's telling you,

It's telling you,

Oh,

I feel pain?

Okay.

Despite how painful and ugly this is and it's about to get,

At the very least I know there is a window,

There is an opening to heal it at the same time.

So I can heal this.

Yes,

I have some chaos now and I got to deal with that.

And the feeling is essential if you don't feel it.

That's the secret.

So if you feel something at the very least know that the gates are open for healing and when you no longer feel it,

Maybe because you shoved it somewhere or you numbed it by taking external energy,

Which is the most popular way to do anything these days.

Once you numb it,

The window closes,

The gates close and it will have to resurface in the future,

Which is what is forcing that same repetitive challenge to come.

It will have to resurface again to give you that open window to heal it again.

Now what's the tool we're giving them to heal something?

What is the tool?

What's the tool?

For me,

And I know we spoke about this a little last week about feeling whole.

For me,

My tool,

One of my tools is reminding myself of the goal.

The goal for me is to receive everything in this world.

That's why the Creator created me.

The Creator created my soul to receive the light of the Creator,

Which also includes all the physical and beautiful pleasures of this world.

I want to stay steadfast to that goal and I know that if I veer left or right for any of those small reactive pleasures or whatever the voice of the opponent is telling me,

I'm going to get less.

It's going to seem like I'm getting more.

This is something that we all got to realize.

The way the opponent works is he will give you an argument that seems like you are getting more,

But in the end you're getting less.

That's how it works.

The way the light works is it always seems like you're getting less in the beginning and then more later.

The light is always the thing that is not as glamorous to chase after in the beginning.

I remind myself,

Okay,

This one said this and this one said that.

The goal is for me,

I want to become like the light.

I want to perfect myself.

My wife was criticizing me the other day.

She's like,

You know,

Because in certain things I'm very particular and she's like,

The problem is you're a perfectionist.

I realized that is a problem,

But I need to use that in the right way.

That's the message I got from it.

I said,

I need to be a perfectionist with my need to change and become like the creator.

That's the goal.

I'm going to use that negative slash positive quality in a way to serve the light and not serve the opponent because you can become a perfectionist and then criticize everybody and judge everybody who's doing certain things in a certain way.

My goal is I want that relationship with the creator.

It's not about any of the people in this world.

It's not about trying.

I say,

Just drown out that noise.

I want it all.

These people are helping me get to a place to become stronger to have it all.

When I remind myself of that,

Then it's kind of like it's not personal anymore.

It's not personal.

It's not so painful anymore.

It's still painful because the soul is cleansing,

But it's not painful from the point of view of this person doing something to me and I'm going to teach them.

Teach them what?

You're downgrading yourself.

As soon as you want to teach someone something,

You're downgrading.

Teaching is the worst.

We say we're teachers.

We say we're teachers at the Kabbalah Center.

Teaching is the worst thing.

Nobody wants to be taught.

Nobody wants to be lectured.

Nobody wants you infringing upon their tikkun process.

Teach nothing if you want to place wisdom gently,

Nicely here without an agenda to change anybody.

Or attachment to them using it.

Yes,

The attachment of your student,

Of your child,

Of your spouse,

Of your lover to use something you've said denounces and invalidates the wisdom altogether.

Whatever you shared becomes poison as soon as you have an attachment to it needing to be received.

I think we need to talk.

We have maybe 20 minutes left.

We need to talk about forgiveness and how to facilitate that because we have one more week.

Let's see,

One more week.

A little bit less than 10 days left to the month,

Let's say.

We want to make sure that we're releasing.

In the forgiveness process,

There is relief.

The relief is for us,

Not for them.

I can't emphasize enough,

You are not holding anyone else to their crime by not forgiving them.

That's really,

Again,

The idea that forgiveness is for you and not for the person that's done you wrong or hurt you.

I can't let that go.

I'm sure you've heard people say many times before,

I just can't let it go.

The expression that when you're upset with someone is you're drinking the poison.

And expecting it to kill them.

And expecting for the other person to die.

The Kabbalists teach that by the true value of forgiving is that if you're really able to do it,

And here's the funny thing,

I always laugh because we say this around this time of year as well and I don't know that it leaves the impression I desire it to when I'm saying it,

But the Kabbalists actually teach that at the end of every single day,

You should go through a forgiveness routine.

And how difficult that is,

First of all,

Especially if you're tired by the time you get into bed,

You kind of get into bed a few minutes earlier than you really want to in order to do this effectively.

But the Kabbalists teach that we should,

Every night before we go to sleep,

Go over the day's events and identify any hurt,

Resentment,

Grudges,

Anything we caught in our net during the day that we should free.

And if we manage to do that,

The Kabbalists say that that is a recipe for miracles.

Why is it a recipe for miracles?

Not because it's a godly thing to do,

But because it is so against human nature to let those things go.

What is a miracle?

Something that is supernatural.

It's not supposed to happen.

It's above nature.

It is above human nature to absolve others from their impact on you.

That's right.

And the power,

There's all kinds of stories,

Literally countless stories about people who did that and avoided death,

Defamation,

Hardship,

Not because they were saintly,

Not because they gave all of their fortune away,

But because they were able to forgive everyone who did anything appeared.

That's the key.

I had a conversation with a dear student of mine a couple weeks ago and her mom did something very hurtful to her.

And I told her,

And this is something that I want to share with you as listeners,

It's very hard,

Especially with parents who are supposed to love us unconditionally and unabashedly when they do something hurtful,

It's very hard to remember this,

But this is what I said to her.

When somebody hits you with a stick,

You don't get angry at the stick,

You get angry at the person who's wielding the stick.

So this is the metaphor that the Kabbalists use.

The creator is holding the stick and the stick is your mom.

So not that you should be angry at the creator,

But to understand that there is a divine orchestration behind the beating.

And there is the place that the stick hit is where the healing needs to happen.

Place where the stick hit,

Yes.

So if it's self-worth,

I don't know,

Help me out here,

Where else could the stick hit?

Feeling out of control,

My laziness,

But I don't know,

There's so many different places the stick could hit,

Right?

That's the universe,

And here's the actual funny thing.

Our tikkun is handed to us on a silver platter.

What do I mean by that?

The things that we need to correct are shown to us with neon lights like a Broadway marquee,

And we ignore it.

And so the more we ignore it,

The harder the stick needs to hit.

So ultimately,

The stick may feel intolerable.

The pain might be so great,

Not because we've done something wrong,

Something is wrong with us,

The universe is chaotic and out of control,

God doesn't love me and all the other excuses we might give,

But because we chose not to read the marquee all these years.

So the whole idea,

The reason I'm bringing it up is because the person holding the stick,

We need to forgive them,

Not for them,

But for us.

Because the moment we acknowledge that the creator,

The universe is conspiring to get us to heal,

The person is no longer a part of the story,

It's between me and the creator.

And so my forgiving the other person is part of my healing process.

And this is why the one component that Kabbalah gives us that is kind of hard to find in other teachings is the final component that brings healing,

Which is as long as you are,

Who are you relying on?

As long as you're relying on people,

People will disappoint you and your energy will always be up and down and sometimes you get and sometimes you don't and people are flawed.

So if the source of energy in this world is something you want to receive from people,

Then you'll always be in a state of chaos,

What we call the 1% reality,

The reality where it's just ups and downs and the fulfillment cannot be had.

Kabbalah teaches us how to have the relationship with the creator,

Which is your soul,

Which is I depend on that for the energy.

So I do something positive in this world,

I share something with Elisheva,

I share something with a friend,

Share something with a partner and my expectation to receive,

Because we are vessels,

We need to receive,

My expectation to receive is not from these people directly,

It's the certainty and the knowing that the creator,

I now have an affinity with the creator because I share it and the creator is a sharing force.

I have affinity and now the creator and I are one,

Meaning that now my life is perfect,

It is perfect.

What do you mean it's perfect?

It's not perfect yet,

But I've tapped into the energy in the upper world and it's only a matter of time before it manifests in the lower world and then I have a sense of calm and peace and I let go of what I need from other people.

Then other people might come and give you,

Sure,

But the reason why now they're giving you is because you created the triangle,

You went to the upper world,

You fixed it there,

The upper world,

Send the signal down to the lower world,

Told the people in your life,

Go give to this person.

That's very different than you going to the person and saying,

You're not giving me and Kabbalah gives us that ability to tap into the upper worlds,

Build that relationship and not just to stay in the upper worlds because that's what a lot of teaching sometimes teaches,

Just be with God and then you're done.

No,

To be with the creator,

Be with God,

But then the creator will channel to this world a way for you to receive.

This is the triangular effect that we talk about.

Can we spend the last couple of minutes of the show talking about apology?

Go for it.

Well,

I know that there's a lot of people that are waiting for an apology from someone.

Sure.

What?

Sure.

Waiting for a sign.

Why do we do that?

Because we need energy.

What is an apology?

It's energy.

It's energy.

I need energy and a little hole here and a little char in my soul that I do believe that once you apologize,

The char will go away.

Now,

Here's the thing.

The apology needs to happen because the apology is unity,

It's oneness,

It's care,

It's love.

I would say that that's correct when you're the one who needs to apologize,

But to hold out for an apology is to put the healing process in suspended animation.

And to put it in the hands of somebody else.

So basically saying you're not the creator.

You can't move on until you are acknowledged as right or correct.

Right.

I would never want to live a life where my moving in any direction is contingent upon one,

Two,

Or ten,

Hundred other people.

I mean,

Think of how horrible that sounds.

Well,

But that's the paradox is that when you stop needing the apology,

You get it.

I have found that with 100% success.

When I no longer care,

And I've seen this with other people also,

When I remember that's not why I'm doing this or that's not why I'm here,

That's not why whatever,

But that's not my intention on the planet.

My desire,

My goal is not to receive apologies,

Then I get it.

And by the way,

It might not even be an apology.

It might be someone telling you,

You were right.

I thought about what you said and you were right.

How good does that feel?

Why does it feel good?

Because it's filling that hole that's meant to be filled with light that I've created,

But I'm waiting for someone else to tell me that I'm right.

So it feels good for a minute.

And then I need someone else to tell me I'm right or I'm smart or I'm whatever it is.

To be respectful to our moment of cringe,

It reminded me of a horrible movie that I saw many years ago.

I think it was before Kabbalah.

I do not suggest any of you to watch this movie.

It's a horror movie.

It's the worst I've ever seen.

I thought Hostel was the worst I ever saw.

This is worse than that.

It's called The Human Centipede.

You've mentioned this before.

I have mentioned it before on the show.

It's such a horrible show.

I mean,

It's horrible because it's disgusting.

It's a horrible movie.

This is a fabulous show.

You're talking about a horrible movie.

Podcast.

And why am I bringing that up?

Because it's,

I don't know,

I think it's based on a true story,

But it's about this guy.

Have you seen The Human Centipede?

You have seen it?

No.

He's seen it.

Oh,

Gosh.

Oh,

My gosh.

Don't look it up.

As I'm saying it,

People are looking it up.

Of course.

And it's about this like sicko who is like a surgeon.

Who attaches people together.

Yeah,

He attaches people together.

I'm going to vomit.

But the reason why it came to my mind,

Now you would vomit if you saw it.

The reason why,

He tried to get everybody to have like one intestinal tract.

And so basically,

Why it came to my mind is one person,

Because you're attached to another person,

Like by your skin,

Because he surgically attached to them.

One person couldn't do something without the other person doing it also.

So it was like,

It was almost like,

Like that,

I realized like that that was slavery of it,

Which is almost like,

I can't move on.

It's like we create human centipedes.

Okay,

So it's called an energetic cord in the spiritual world.

We didn't need the human centipede visual.

But the visual is what's going to remind you.

Every time you're waiting for an apology,

You've created a human centipede.

And if you want to know what that looks like,

You can look up the memory.

Please,

And please do not.

But the truth is those energetic cords,

Right?

You could be in a relationship with the love of your life.

Everything you look for in a partner,

In a spouse and whatever,

It could be in business,

It could be in whatever,

Perfect person in front of you.

But because you have emotional cords,

Or you're a human centipede,

With your ex from 20 years ago,

There is like a hole in the capacity of that relationship.

So you can have so much love and so much respect and so much synergy and chemistry and it's just perfect.

But something,

The potential is perfect,

But there's something,

You know,

We talked a few weeks ago with when Karen Adler was on the show about waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And I got so much feedback,

So many comments from different listeners,

Students,

Friends,

Who said that that's so them.

That even though I had a meeting with somebody after the show,

She said,

Even though nothing bad has happened in my life,

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

That is an energetic cord to a previous lifetime.

And it's sucking her,

Taking her out of the present moment in everything that she does.

So really this week,

To everybody who's listening,

And you may be listening to this show a year after it airs,

It is still relevant.

Think this week,

Feel,

Be present to all of those triggers,

All of those moments that touch your wounds,

That touch your tikkun,

That touch those parts of you that you may have built six foot thick walls around just so you don't have to feel it.

Feel it.

Whatever you would say it again,

Your trademark phrase.

You gotta feel it to heal it.

You gotta feel it to heal it.

Embrace those moments this week.

Let them in.

Learn about yourself and release those,

The cords,

The intestines if you will,

Of those other people so that you can be happy and thrive and receive it all.

By the way,

One thing that I found very powerful for forgiveness as well,

And we don't have time to get into it now,

But meditation.

Really visualizing the energy shift between you and that person,

The healing of that relationship,

Visualizing the forgiveness is a very powerful way to release the energetic connection between you and that person.

Last thoughts for our friends before we sign off.

You gotta feel it to heal it.

Really,

We should change the title of the show.

Feel it to heal it.

You can continue to comment,

Put your questions.

We'll go through it during the week.

We just want to say thank you to everybody who's been sharing.

I think last two weeks ago,

We had more than 100 shares on the show,

Which is like,

I mean,

It's happened before,

But it just always,

I'm so grateful to all of you guys for making what we do possible,

Sharing.

If you have questions or situations you want us to address on the show or things that we can make more clear for you,

You can also email us at energyboost at kabbalah.

Com.

Have a fabulous week,

Everyone.

We'll see you next time on the Weekly Energy Boost.