Cultivating Confidence Part Two

In this episode of the Eleposed Podcast, we continue our conversation about Cultivating Confidence. Confidence is foundational to our lives as a door opener and it gives us access to new opportunities we previously may never have imagined.

Transcript

Well,

Hello everyone!

I hope you are doing well!

It is a fabulous,

Fabulous day.

I can feel the seasons beginning to change.

It is end of August time and man,

I'm ready for fall.

Let's bring it!

Okay,

So today I'd really like to just try something a little different,

Kind of new,

Because I really appreciate you.

Like seriously,

I really appreciate you listening to the podcast.

So I thought it would be really cool to start acknowledging some of the reviews you leave me because they really are super heartwarming and it reflects back to me that the work that I'm putting out is creating change and inspiring others.

And that is what my passion is,

Is to help create change,

To teach tools of managing your mind,

And to just help humanity.

You know,

It's a grand scheme and this is a super small little scale of it,

But it is very fulfilling to me and part of my life purpose to just teach these tools,

To inspire,

And to contribute.

So when I receive reviews,

It just reflects back to me that yes,

The work that I'm doing is creating just that little ripple.

And that is just,

It's a beautiful feeling.

So I really,

Really appreciate your guys' feedback,

Your reviews.

And so I thought I'd start just sharing some on here as a thank you and I acknowledge you and really appreciate it.

So this review is from Brenda from Tampa,

Florida,

And she wrote,

I love your message and your cute little laugh.

Could be because I do it too.

And now I don't feel like I'm the only one.

LOL.

These podcasts are very inspirational and I used,

And if used correctly,

Could provide huge instruments for change in your life.

I truly believe that what you feed your brain will manifest in your life.

This is my biggest feat as I am my own worst enemy.

If I can create change,

I want everyone else to know they can do it too.

Wow.

Thank you so much,

Brenda.

I just love hearing this from you.

It's so true.

Our life is created by our thoughts and the type of thoughts that we have.

And when we build our awareness of what our thoughts are,

We have the ability to change them.

And this is what such a magnificent ability to have.

And we can learn how to utilize it by managing our minds.

So again,

Just thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Brenda,

For leaving this really awesome,

Really cool review.

Loved what you said about the laugh.

I'm always doing that.

And yes,

Now I'm going to,

Of course,

Do it more because I'm on the spot.

But I really appreciate it,

Brenda.

Thank you so much.

All right.

So today we're going to continue our topic of cultivating confidence.

And if you remember in the previous episode,

And if you haven't listened to it yet,

It's just episode 19,

Cultivating Confidence.

You might want to start there first,

Because this one is a continuation of the topic.

Not a big deal if you don't,

But you may want to.

It's up to you.

So in this episode,

We're going to just keep talking about cultivating confidence.

But in the first episode,

We discussed the difference between sustainable confidence and unsustainable confidence,

And how the sustainable confidence is like an iceberg with a giant mass below the water's surface.

That it's not visible from above the water,

But it's what makes it so powerful as an iceberg,

The mass below the water's surface.

And we also touched on how unsustainable confidence is more like a sheet of ice,

And it's not nearly as mighty as the iceberg,

But they look really similar from above the water.

So today I'd like to discuss how we give our confidence away,

Which means we have to reclaim it.

In ancient times,

Families would accumulate their wealth,

And then it would be passed down from parents to their children.

There are a lot of different ways that this practice was set up in different cultures,

And we still do this with inheritances,

Etc.

But back in ancient times,

It was common practice to pass the family's wealth and their title,

The status,

Everything,

Usually to the firstborn son.

So the firstborn son was a valuable position to be born into as a baby.

And everyone knew that this baby would one day grow up to receive the family's wealth.

This was his birthright.

Now the thing about birthrights is they can be given away.

Just like a prince,

For example,

Can abdicate his birthright to the throne.

So I'd like you to picture yourself born,

However many years ago that was,

A beautiful little baby.

And at this point in time,

You have your full human potential just spanned out in front of you in the future.

There's not a single limit known.

And at this point in time,

You have your full birthright of worth.

Well,

As we begin to grow and experience life,

We eventually have events cross our path where,

From a place of complete innocence,

We give our birthright away.

We do this without even knowing that we are doing this.

So what am I talking about?

How exactly are we giving our birthright away?

Birthright to what?

Our birthright to 100% worthiness.

Our birthright to 100% wholeness.

To 100% enoughness.

We give our birthright away every time an event,

A person,

Or anything else out there says you aren't good enough.

And then we make it mean our worth is less.

So it's not the events or the person who says you aren't enough that is the actual problem.

It's when we mistake this to mean that the essence of our humanness,

The soul of us,

Is lacking.

That's the air thought.

That's the air conclusion.

Because I may have a lot of things that I can't do.

People may not love my art.

I may be horrible with mathematics.

But all of those things are mere external things.

They don't touch the value of my essence.

They don't influence the birthright.

Yet,

Because we do not know any better as innocent children,

We believe the messages we receive from our external environment.

And we begin the thought patterns of thinking,

I'm not good enough.

I'm not lovable.

And this outside event is proof of that idea.

Once this begins,

The thought pattern is like a snowball.

And it simply continues to grow bigger and bigger,

Stronger and stronger as it rolls down the hill,

Collecting more bits of evidence that this one thought we came to is 100% true.

And here's the beauty of your consciousness,

My friends.

Is it grows and it expands.

It's flexible,

It's imaginative,

And it's creative.

As an adult now,

You can look back on your earlier days and notice that once upon a time,

You used to believe things that you now know aren't true.

For example,

Fairies,

Right?

Or you used to believe that everything you saw on TV was actually real.

One of my absolute favorite memories of my daughter was when she was a toddler.

And she would just giggle with delight because she thought when she hid herself underneath a blanket,

That she literally just disappeared and became invisible.

No one could see her when she was under her blanket.

And she would throw the blanket over her and just stand there in the middle of the room with the blanket covering her,

Giggling away.

And then she would pull it down off her face and it would be as if,

Pop,

Out of nowhere,

She suddenly appeared.

It was so cute.

But now,

Of course,

She knows.

Just because she can't see me,

Doesn't mean I can't see her.

Right?

So as we develop,

We grow and we learn about perspective and that my perspective isn't the only perspective.

But I'm the only one able to directly experience my perspective.

Right?

So what does this have to do with confidence?

Well,

Starting in our early lives,

We made observations and conclusions about this fabulous world we live in.

And we came to conclusions about ourselves.

But we only had the experience of a few years.

If you made the same observations now,

Now that you're older and you have much more experience,

You'd probably come up with different conclusions.

So for example,

When a child experiences rejection from a parent,

The child will immediately internalize that to mean something about his or herself internally.

Because the brain is hardwired to fear rejection,

Unknowns,

And anything that's new.

So when the child experiences rejection from a situation,

She's going to immediately think that there's something wrong with her.

I must be the reason.

The child doesn't have the experience to know there are a bajillion reasons why her parent could be distant.

But the brain comes to conclusions all the same.

I must not be important.

I'm not lovable.

There must be something wrong with me.

So the brain stores away the thought and builds a skyscraper on top of it.

Because that's how our brains work.

Our brains take thoughts,

We think them over and over,

And then we believe them.

And due to the confirmation bias and the RIS system,

It then collects the data that supports our beliefs and filters out any evidence that doesn't.

And this began with our earliest thoughts as children.

Now we come up with these same conclusions as adults throughout new experiences that we experience day to day.

But instead of it being the first time we come to this conclusion,

It's more like a confirmation of something we already knew about ourself.

Which is why we will experience these voices,

This inner critic that says,

You know,

See,

I really am just,

You know,

Not lovable.

Here's some more proof.

But the first time that we came to those ideas and conclusions normally is sometime during our childhood.

And that's why they sound so familiar.

That's why it's so true to us now as an adult when we experience negative things that we're like,

See,

I really am an idiot.

Well,

That just proves it.

See,

I can't do this.

But those,

My friends,

Are all thoughts.

So for the next chunk of years,

That individual has been finding proof in the world that I did something wrong.

And functioning from this position,

This perspective,

Almost like the computer code.

So now,

Not only it's been proven true every time there's been rejection,

It's proven again anytime she's rejected again by somebody else.

We innocently believed that the outside world is a validation of our inner worth.

When in fact,

Your worth is your birthright.

It cannot be taken away.

Only you,

My friend,

Can give it away.

And we do give our birthright away innocently as children,

Which leads us to become adults functioning from a mindset of low confidence,

Low self worth,

Low self esteem and many other mindsets.

And yes,

Some of our mindsets serve us really well.

But then there's also a lot of mindsets that don't really serve us at all.

When we function from these mindsets that don't serve us,

We don't take the steps or the actions that lead to lives filled with love,

Joy,

Peace,

Abundance,

Adventure,

Boldness.

We don't become unstoppable.

We cease to be creative.

Because we simply believe we don't deserve it.

When all the while,

My friends,

You 100% do.

You simply have to reclaim your birthright.

You are the only one who can give your birthright away.

And you are the only one who can reclaim it.

When you reclaim your birthright,

You are then able to begin to build an iceberg and the confidence will just be the tip of it as a result.

Alright,

I gotta shake it out.

Because this is really exciting,

Guys.

Because imagine,

Your life is right now the result of your thoughts.

And for most people,

We've never examined what these thoughts actually are,

Where they came from.

You've never taken the snowball and cracked it open to question if what's at its core is actually serving you.

But this is how our brain is currently coded.

So the areas in your life where you experience success is due to core beliefs and thoughts.

Just like the areas where you want to experience something more,

Something different,

You've got to examine what the core thoughts are that you're functioning from,

The ones that are holding you back.

Now here's the beautiful thing.

Your mind is your greatest asset.

When you learn how to manage your mind,

You are able to become aware of the thoughts that are functioning as the software code,

Running on default,

Right now creating the results you are getting in your life.

And as conscious human beings,

We are able to build our awareness of our thoughts and then change them.

This is where managing our minds becomes a practice.

Our minds are constantly working.

So it's not a think one positive thought trick thing here,

And then our brains take over.

There's much more to it.

It's learning how to work with the way your brain functions and putting that to work for us instead of against us.

So it's super important to begin to practice managing your mind,

Which is a constant thing we do.

It's not any different than living a healthy eating lifestyle.

You can't just eat one meal and say,

Okay,

Now I'm healthy.

I'm a healthy eater now.

You've got to eat healthy meals the majority of the time.

Otherwise,

It's just kind of pointless.

So it's the exact same with working with your mind.

Now,

I will say that after you've been managing your mind for a while,

You find you have a lot less work to do because it's like a garden.

Once you've gotten rid of the weeds,

Well,

Then it's just keeping the weeds out and picking the plants you want to have in your mental garden.

But unless we are doing this intentionally,

Then our garden bed could have all kinds of plants in it that we may not want there.

Now,

This is why I love to teach these tools on how to manage your mind because once you become aware,

You're able to become the creator of your life where anything is possible.

You become Ellie Posed,

Where you're excitingly looking forward to your future.

Not because it's going to always be rainbows and sunshine.

Absolutely not.

That's just not how life flows,

My friends.

But it's because you know you've got your own back.

You're grounded in love because you choose to love.

There's an abundant source of love available to you always when you choose to love.

Then,

No matter what obstacles you face in the future,

They don't stir in you that old habit of making external things validate your self-worth.

No,

You own your birth right now.

You've reclaimed it,

And you know that no one can take it away from you unless you give it away.

And you are committed to never do that again.

And confidence?

This creates the mass below the iceberg.

This is the powerful place of empowerment and a position of strength.

Not out of being better than anyone else,

Because we are all born with this birth right.

All right,

So that is it for me today,

My friends.

But I encourage you to ask yourself,

From a place of love and not judgment,

What is something you believe about yourself that you picked up as a child?

Is it absolutely true?

And when you re-examine the situation from your perspective now,

Is it still true?

Or are there possibly other explanations?

How have you constructed your identity around this one belief?

How has it held you back?

You know,

One simple example from my own life of this was when I was about four or five years old,

I was told by someone that I spoke funny,

And I needed to go to talking school.

Now,

This is how I remember it.

I doubt they even said talking school,

Because that just doesn't make any sense.

I think it would be speech therapy,

The correct way to put that.

But the way I recall the conversation going was that I spoke funny,

And I needed to go to talking school.

So this was 30-something years ago,

Right?

But that was enough.

That was enough for me to become quiet.

And then from that thought came the title of being shy.

So I became the quiet and the shy one.

Well,

That led to anxiety around speaking,

Which kept me even more in the corner.

Whoo!

That is rain.

All right,

Well,

Let's see if we can do this with the rain in the background.

So looking back on my life from this comment that probably was said as a joke,

Or maybe even just half-hazardly,

It doesn't really matter,

Because I was four years old.

Of course I spoke funny.

I was a little kid.

But I can see how I purposely withheld myself from any situation that I may need to speak out loud in.

That was the result from that one little thought planted in my mind that I believed.

Of course I believed it.

And it made me feel like I was going to be rejected if I exposed this flaw in myself to others.

But I never questioned it.

It just became a fact about me.

I spoke funny.

I can't let people know this.

They might reject me.

One of the most basic human fears is rejection from others.

So it wasn't until I examined the thoughts that ran my life did I discover this one.

And boy,

Did I laugh.

Because it was like looking back on this memory,

This experience that has shaped so many conversations,

So many interviews gone wrong,

So many university courses where I didn't put myself out there because of this one thought.

That when I actually examined it,

It just wasn't true.

Or maybe it was,

But it didn't matter because I was four years old.

But my brain built a skyscraper on that thought.

And it dictated so much of my life.

That's a simple example.

And there's so many thoughts that we have that are currently creating our lives that we haven't examined.

And we do this with all of our thoughts.

They create the results in our life and the way that we show up and how we experience it.

All right,

Lovelies.

That's it for me today.

Please,

I encourage you examine your thoughts and the results that you get.

Reclaim your self-worth.

You are 100 percent worthy and that is your birthright.

Hey,

If you are enjoying this podcast content and you'd like to take it even deeper,

Then you've got to check out my course coming out in September.

It's called Manage Your Messy Mind Confidence Boot Camp.

We're going to dive even deeper into learning how to manage your mind.

And I'm going to teach you how to massively build your confidence.

The keys you learn in this course are lifelong skills that when you apply them can transform your life.

To learn more,

Go to Ellyposa.

Com.

That's E-L-E-P-O-S-A.

Bye for now!