I Am That - Session 79 - The Beginningless Begins Forever -2

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Transcript

Is the sense of being a product of experience only?

The great mahāvākya,

The great saying,

Mahāvākya is tatsat.

Is it a mere mode of meditation?

So Mahārāja says whatever is spoken is speech only.

Whatever is thought is thought only.

The real meaning is unexplainable,

Though experienceable.

The mahāvākya is true,

But your ideas are false.

For all ideas or kalpana are false.

The most important thing,

Look at his question,

Is the sense of being a product of experience?

Is it?

Can the sense of being be a product of experience?

You are clear about it?

Yes?

Good.

So that's why he says all false ideas,

Kalpana,

You're just meditation,

You're creating stuff.

Questioner,

Is the conviction I am that false?

The translation is wrong.

Here it is,

Is the conviction aham brahmasmi false?

Is this faith or this shraddha,

This vishwas,

This belief aham brahmasmi,

Is it an illusion?

Is the faith in aham brahmasmi or chanting aham brahmasmi or believing I am Brahman,

Is that an illusion?

He says yes,

It is.

Arthaat?

Yes,

It is.

It is an illusion.

Vishwas or conviction or faith or shraddha is a mental state.

He has tried to even translate aham brahmasmi which should not be translated.

You must learn the mahāvākya,

Right?

Because then only you will understand that he is talking about the mahāvākya.

So,

Mahārāja says,

Of course,

Conviction is a mental state.

Your shraddha,

Your faith,

You get convinced about something,

Your conviction,

It's only a mental state.

In Brahman,

There is no aham asmi.

In Brahman,

There is no I am.

So,

Those who have the Marathi book,

Read.

He is talking about in Brahman,

There is no aham asmi.

There is no I am in Brahman.

Where is Brahman?

Is there an I there?

Is this very clear?

Do you see this?

So,

In Brahman,

There is no aham asmi.

You see this at this level.

So late,

After chanting aham brahmasmi for a zillion years.

Yeah.

In Brahman,

There is no aham asmi.

Just words.

The moment aham asmi arises,

Emerges,

Brahman is obscured.

Means the moment I am comes up,

Witness consciousness comes up,

What happens?

Is there recognition of the supreme reality?

No.

Why?

Because this itself is an object.

This itself is an experience.

Yes.

So,

How do you see it in your direct seeing?

For the people who recognize,

While coming out of the deep sleep,

You recognize the I,

The sense of I,

And then you got stuck in some dream,

Some object of the dream,

Irrespective of the content of the dream.

You realize after coming out that there was nothing there.

The moment I comes out,

Is nothingness left?

No.

Is that peace there?

No.

Is this very clear?

Yeah.

So,

I've left behind something.

So,

The moment the I am,

Aham asmi emerges,

Brahman is wiped out.

Read that sentence in Marathi.

Just like when the sun rises,

The stars are wiped out.

They disappear.

They are not seen.

Just like that.

The moment I am comes up,

There is no Brahman.

Yeah.

So,

Sorry to break your heart if you chant aham brahmasmi.

You are an illusion.

You are an illusion.

Drop all these chants,

Aham brahmasmi,

I am that.

The moment there is I am,

Is there a that?

As with the sun comes light,

So with the sense of self comes bliss.

So,

Just like the sun,

With the sun comes light,

With this sense of I am comes bliss.

The I itself is the beginning of bondage.

Even if you say not I,

That is also the beginning of bondage.

Not I is the same as I.

That's why there is no I there.

There is not I also there.

You cannot call it not I.

You cannot call it I.

Yes.

That is why I say I am yet I am not.

Yes.

You cannot be stuck on either.

Bondage starts with I am.

It starts with I am not also.

Both extremes are the same.

Opposites are the same.

You are on the same boat.

Clear?

Silence doesn't speak.

Silence cannot say I am not.

Can it?

Brahman is that.

Brahman will never say I am.

Aham asmi.

Brahman will never say aham nasmi.

I am not.

Opposites are the same boat.

You are still in the same boat.

Questioner,

In your daily life,

Are you always conscious of your real state?

Maharaj says neither conscious nor unconscious.

The real question is,

Is the witnessing always constant for you?

That is the question.

What does Maharaj say?

Means the witnessing is not there but you would still not call it not knowing.

So,

Primordial awareness.

That's where Maharaj's footing is very strong.

Once you are there,

Then there is no need to come to witnessing.

This was a stepping stone to get there.

Once you get there,

It's all oneness.

There is no separation.

It's all oneness.

The world,

Which is the objects,

The witness consciousness and the primordial awareness.

They are all one.

There is no two.

So,

Maharaj says there is no witnessing there but it does not mean that there is no knowing.

At the first step,

At Durya level,

You will be a witness in all three states.

A point will come where you understand that also collapses.

There is a higher level and then there is no need for this to come up.

This need is gone.

This need was there only when you wanted to skip the witnessing and become the person,

Become the waker in the waking,

Become the dreamer in the dreaming and become the deep sleeper in the deep sleep state.

Now,

I don't need to become.

I have become complete Vairagi.

I don't care for any of these.

So,

There is no need of the witness.

It loses relevance.

The reason why it was,

That's gone completely.

That is the last step where the aham vritti completely extinguishes.

You become primordial awareness.

The walls collapse between the waking and the dreaming first and then between the dream and the deep sleep.

The walls collapse.

It becomes one.

Only an illusion.

Illusion which is a part of me.

There is nothing apart from me.

But there is no more ras there,

No more juice there,

No more flavor there.

So,

There is no going out.

So,

When there is no going out,

There is no purpose left for the witness.

This is what Ramana Maharshi meant when he said the person died.

So beautifully described.

The person died.

No name,

No nama,

No rupa,

Nothing.

Be comfortable with the formlessness.

It's the shuttling that is happening.

Stop.

Okay.

No name,

No form.

Can I just be with that?

The silence.

Yeah,

The emptiness.

This eye is still shaking.

Observe it.

It's looking for something to hold on to.

Relax.

Relax the tanha.

Relax the tanha.

So,

He says in your daily life,

Is the witnessing constantly there?

So,

He says,

No,

I am not always witnessing.

But that does not mean I am not knowing.

I do not need convictions.

Means I do not need a shraddha like aham brahmasmi,

Aham brahmasmi.

I don't need to go on repeating a mantra.

I don't need convictions.

Yes,

I do not need any kind of vishwas.

I live on courage.

Courage is my essence,

Which is love of life.

I am free of memories and anticipations.

Unconcerned with what I am and what I am not.

This is very important for the vairagya group.

Unconcerned with what I am and what I am not.

Vairagya will translate to uparati only if you get here.

Simply living on courage,

Free of memories,

Free of anticipations.

I am not addicted to self-descriptions.

Very important.

No self-description.

No,

I am this,

I am that,

I am this,

I am that.

That is completely the wrong path.

Next is a big punch for the people who are still on the dvaitam path.

What is the punch?

Soham and brahmasmi are of no use to me.

What is soham?

I am that.

Brahmasmi?

I am brahman.

All these chantings that you do,

All the processes that you do with these words,

They are of no use on the path of non-duality at the highest level.

So if you've been chanting,

This is the time.

Are you ready to renounce?

Let it go.

Drop it.

All chanting,

All mantra,

All beads,

Or breathing along with it,

Whatever you're doing with it,

No.

Then you will confuse yourself because then again you're coming back down.

He's taking you up,

Again you're coming back down.

Coming back to the body,

You're coming back to samsara.

He's taking you beyond to the reality,

You're coming back to unreality.

So Maharaj teaches at the highest level.

If you really want to move in that direction,

Become very clear.

I have to let go of illusion.

So any mantra chanting is illusory.

Why?

What is it limited to?

Waking state.

The waking state.

Do you want to get to turiya and turiyatita?

Do you want to get to turiya and turiyatita?

Yes or no?

If you want to get there,

Can you keep one foot in waking and one there?

It's not going to work.

You'll have to take your foot off the waking state.

So can I give you a really difficult,

Heart-breaking task?

When you go back home,

Wipe away your mantle pieces.

Take down all those photographs.

All the gods,

All the gurus,

All the scriptures,

All mantras,

All stickers like Soham and Brahmasmi.

Mind finds an excuse.

You know these ways,

Cunning ways of the mind.

Everything down.

No escape.

Everything down.

Donate.

Give it away to your friends or into the river.

All your idols,

Beautiful idols,

Into the river.

Thrift store.

They'll happily take your Ganeshas.

Renounce.

Uparati.

Samadhan will not happen otherwise.

That's why I told you it's a heart-breaking task.

Give up all those practices that you were doing with Aham Brahmasmi,

I am this,

I am that,

Soham,

Whatever,

Whatever,

Whatever.

And never look back.

Can you do that?

If you want to move towards turiya and turiyatita,

You will have to take your foot off the waking boat.

You cannot try to be the waker and try to be turiyatita.

It's not possible.

You'll forever be stuck.

Yes?

Are you ready to drop?

Give up?

Yes?

And take on this courageous step.

Sorry I broke your heart,

But Santa Claus does not exist.

Yes?

Santa Claus does not exist.

Growing up is essential,

No?

For a child.

Like that only.

Maturity is essential on this path.

You did it for many years.

It was good.

It helped you get where you've gotten.

But now you've got to a point where you have an opportunity to go up.

Going up on the ladder means letting go of the lower steps,

No?

You can't say,

Oh the lower steps got me here,

So I'm going to take them with me.

No,

You'll be stuck at the lower step because the step doesn't move.

So you have to let it go.

You'll have to gather that courage.

You will cry for a few days,

You will cry for a few days,

Santa Claus does not exist.

Santa Claus does not exist.

Allow those tears to be,

Let that catharsis happen.

Distance is required so that the cunning mind doesn't find its way back to the waking dream.

You have to cut its bridge.

You have to cut its sensual cord.

Buddha explains this very beautifully.

Cutting the sensual cord is essential.

Otherwise the mind can find an escape back.

It is the way.

It is the way.

You always go to university after you complete your schooling.

Schooling is important,

No?

So Dwaitam was your schooling,

But now you want to get admission to university.

You want to go higher,

Means you have to let go of your school attachment.

You can't say,

No,

I'm taking my school bag and my school uniform and my school teacher with me.

Well,

Your school teacher doesn't want to come.

No,

You have to come with me.

It doesn't work like that.

So become comfortable with this.

Sooner or later,

I will have to shed this away.

I have to move from form to formlessness.

This is form,

No?

Pooja and whatever you do,

Idols,

Mandir,

Worship,

Even a book is form,

Remember.

Even a scripture is form.

Book also you have to drop to move towards formlessness.

Any form,

Any form,

Any form will be an obstacle.

Then move towards the supreme reality.

From form to formlessness.

Because formlessness is so hard to understand.

To get to that level requires another push away from form,

Which people cannot do so easily.

The bhogi struggles.

He is looking for pleasure and he looks for pleasure in form.

So he thinks,

Oh,

If I want pleasure from God,

I have to give God also a form.

So then forms came up.

One form is an idol,

Which looks like a human,

One looks like an animal,

One is a book,

One is the word.

All forms have come up.

All forms will take you back to the waking,

Back to the waker.

If you want to move to Turiyatita,

This needs to drop.

Clear?

So,

Think about it a little bit more.

It's heartbreaking,

I know.

Be with it and when it sheds,

Allow it to shed away.

I have the courage to be as nothing and to see the world as it is.

As it is.

Nothing.

I have the courage to be nothing.

Please highlight.

Those who are working towards vairagya,

Do you have the courage to be nothing?

Nobody.

Nothing.

And second,

Do you have the courage to see the world as nothing?

It sounds simple is not what he said.

That is simple for me.

That is what he said.

Just try it.

The rest is up to you.

The message has been conveyed.

This paragraph is very clear now for everybody.

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