I Am That - Session 73 - Ch 25 Hold On To "I Am" - Part 3

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Transcript

Questioner says,

Do I exist in your world as you exist in mine?

Maharaj says,

Of course you are,

And I am,

But only as points in consciousness.

We are nothing apart from consciousness.

This must be well grasped.

The world hangs on the thread of consciousness.

No consciousness,

No world.

This he has brought you to Drishti-Srishti Vada.

At the first level of Srishti-Drishti Vada,

You thought,

Oh,

The creation is first and then I am born in it and I am this body-mind in which there is one little dot of consciousness.

So creation first and consciousness second.

That was the idea from science,

From the world,

From the upbringing.

Now when you come slowly onto the path,

You see,

No,

I am the witness.

I am witnessing all of this.

When this waking state drops,

I am witnessing the dream state.

That drops,

I am witnessing the absence of waking and dream.

Oh,

I am first.

Seeing that absence only,

First I arise,

Then the waking state arises.

So the world is because I am.

This is Drishti-Srishti Vada,

Second level.

So he says this must be grasped.

The world hangs on the thread of consciousness.

No consciousness,

No world.

Maharaj says there are many points in consciousness.

Are there as many worlds?

Maharaj says,

Take dream for an example.

In a hospital,

There may be many patients,

All sleeping,

All dreaming,

Each dreaming in his own private,

Personal dream,

Unrelated,

Unaffected,

Having one single factor in common-illness.

Similarly,

We have divorced ourselves in our imagination from the real world of common experience and enclosed ourselves in a cloud of personal desires and fears,

Images and thoughts,

Ideas and concepts.

It's a very deep analogy.

All these patients are lying in the hospital,

They are all dreaming,

It's just an example.

Now they all have one common dream,

Illness,

Because that is what is there in the waking,

It comes up in the dream,

Just like this retreat,

Points are coming up in your dream,

You are having wise dreams in the night.

Like that,

Only they have one common thing,

Illness.

But they have actually divorced themselves from the reality,

Which is the hospital and they are all there.

Like that only,

We have divorced ourselves from the reality that I am consciousness and imprisoned myself in an idea,

I am it,

This is happening to me,

That is happening to me,

I did this,

I did that,

A zillion such ideas,

Concepts,

Images about myself and my personal world.

How is it this to be true?

So there are as many personal worlds as infinite,

This question was there,

There are many points in consciousness,

Are there many personal worlds,

The answer is yes.

Question this I can understand,

But what could be the cause of the tremendous variety of the personal worlds?

Maharaj says the variety is not so great,

All the dreams are superimposed over a common world.

Please highlight that,

All the dreams means personal worlds that are created are superimposed on a common platform that I was talking about earlier,

He calls it a common world.

To some extent,

They shape and influence each other,

The basic unity operates in spite of all,

At the root of it all lies self-forgetfulness,

Not knowing who I am.

So again that same common platform of pure consciousness,

Which is nothing but H2O,

Like the ocean,

Here the H2O is equal to knowledge,

Everything is knowledge,

Everything is knowledge,

That is the common world or the common platform,

Everything is knowledge,

But you forget it,

One wave comes up and says of knowledge,

Wave of knowledge comes up and says,

Oh that wave of knowledge is me,

It's mine,

This is me,

This is mine,

This is me,

This is mine and an entire personal world imagined about those waves is created and like that so many imaginary personal worlds are created on a common platform,

On a common world of simply knowledge,

There is just knowledge,

Bits of data,

Just data,

Internet,

What is internet,

Nothing but information,

Do you see it,

No,

But my computer can catch it,

It's nothing but data,

Yes,

When data is caught in a proper structured manner,

It becomes my computer and it's on my screen and it is my email,

Yeah,

Just because it's on my computer,

My screen and I have typed those words,

I think,

Oh this is mine,

No,

Reality is internet is only data,

It's bits of information,

Period,

There is nothing else,

If you go one level deeper,

It's nothing but 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1,

There is nothing else there,

That's exactly what this is,

Just a common ground,

A common platform of 0 1 0 1 0 1 and all that has been,

This is mine,

Because of the mineness has created a personal world,

It is consciousness,

Knowingness,

That is its quality,

That is its nature,

Information,

Data,

Knowledge,

Actually it is all 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1,

Does not belong to anyone,

Yeah,

And it's all around,

It's just that this computer catches it and says,

It's personal,

Mine,

Mamata,

He says about the common world and to some extent they shape and influence each other,

The basic unity operates in spite of all and at the root of it all lies self-forgetfulness,

Yeah,

At the root of all 0 1 0 1 0 1,

There is self-forgetfulness,

That it's just information,

Pieces of data,

Yes,

It has become my data,

My personal data or mine,

So there is self-forgetfulness,

Not knowing who I am,

So questioner says to forget one must know,

Did I know who I am before I forgot it,

Maharaj says of course,

Self-knowing is inherent in self-knowing,

Please highlight that,

I know I wear my spectacles on my nose,

I know I keep my spectacles away in the case,

Sometimes I forgot to keep it in the case,

I keep it there,

Keep it there and then when I need it again,

I know it is on my nose,

So all the possibilities are in my domain range,

I keep it here,

I keep it there,

I keep it there,

Put it in its case,

It's here,

I keep it here,

Sometimes I have a string,

It's hanging here,

So all the possibilities of that spectacles,

Its placement are in my domain range,

So knowing where it is and knowing where it is not is also in my domain range,

Yeah,

So remembering where it is and forgetting where it is are also in my domain range,

Therefore self-forgetting is a part of self-knowing,

You can forget only that which you know,

Self-forgetting is inherent in self-knowing,

Consciousness and unconsciousness are two aspects of one life,

They co-exist,

To know the world,

You forget the self,

To know the self,

You forget the world,

What is world after all?

A collection of memories,

Cling to one thing that matters,

Hold on to the I am and let go all else,

This is sadhana,

Please highlight,

Cling to the one thing that matters,

Hold on to the I am and let go all else,

This is sadhana,

In realization there is nothing to hold on to and nothing to forget,

Everything is known,

Nothing is remembered,

There is no question of remembering,

Every time you have to go to the witness,

What happens?

You have to let go all your bickering,

I like this,

I don't want this,

Blah blah blah,

To know the self you have to forget the world,

To know the world you have to slip away from the witness,

You recognize this,

So both possibilities are there,

Like that only consciousness and not consciousness,

Both possibilities are there,

Like that all kinds of infinite opposites,

Forgetfulness,

Remembrance,

Good,

Bad,

Happy,

Sad,

All of it,

That whole domain ranges the totality of your consciousness,

That is who I am,

Not to just be there,

There is only one thing he says,

Drop everything else and just be there,

Hold on to I am,

This is where the chapter gets its name from,

Cling to that one thing that matters,

Hold on to the I am,

Let go all else,

This is sadhana,

In realization there is nothing to hold on to and nothing to forget,

Everything is known,

Nothing is remembered.

Question,

What is the cause of self-forgetting?

Maharaj,

There is no cause,

There is no cause because there is no forgetting,

Mental states succeed one another and each obliterates the previous one,

Self-remembering is a mental state and self-forgetting is another,

They alternate like day and night,

Reality is beyond both,

It's like on that common platform of knowledge,

This is the knowledge of forgetfulness,

Then there's the knowledge of remembrance,

This wave overrides the other day,

Night,

Day,

Night,

The next one wipes the previous one,

It's just like that but reality is not these two waves only,

What is reality?

Yes,

The entire ocean of knowledge in which this individual particular wave has arisen,

The ocean of knowledge that is reality,

It is beyond both of them,

So don't get stuck in this,

This forgetfulness,

This remembrance,

The opposites,

Consciousness,

Not consciousness,

Drop all,

Go beyond,

Go to the reality.

Questioner says,

Surely there must be a difference between forgetting and not knowing,

Not knowing needs no cause,

Forgetting presupposes previous knowledge and also the tendency or ability to forget,

I admit I cannot inquire into the reason for not knowing but forgetting must have some ground,

Maharaj says there is no such thing as not knowing,

Please highlight,

Why?

Because you are knowledge itself,

You are knowingness itself,

Where is the question of not knowing,

There is no such thing as not knowing,

There is only forgetting,

What is wrong with forgetting?

It is as simple to forget as to remember,

It's that simple,

One wave arises of remembrance,

One wave arises of forgetfulness,

Why is the forgetfulness wave such a big demon for you and why is the remembrance wave such an angel?

No,

The same thing,

Why are you treating one as good and one as bad?

Is it not a calamity to forget oneself,

Like a disaster,

Isn't it a disaster to forget oneself?

Maharaj says as bad as to remember oneself continuously,

Forgetting is as bad as remembering oneself continuously,

There's a state beyond forgetting and not forgetting,

The natural state,

Yeah I spoke about it yesterday also,

When everything just silences,

There is no knowing of it and not knowing of it,

There's just the no things,

Absolute silence,

It's a relief from the opposites,

The relief from the opposites is the supreme state,

The natural state,

It is your state,

That is called Ananda,

That is called equanimity,

Yeah so he's talking exactly about the same thing,

I'll read that again,

Yeah,

Is it not a calamity to forget oneself,

As bad as to remember oneself continuously,

There's a state beyond forgetting and not forgetting,

The natural state,

To remember,

To forget,

These are all states of mind,

Which are thought bound,

Which are word bound,

Take for example,

The idea of being born,

I was told I was born,

I do not remember,

I am told I shall die,

I do not expect it,

You tell me I have forgotten or I lack imagination,

But I just cannot remember what never happened,

Nor expect the patently impossible,

Bodies are born and bodies die,

But what is it to me,

Bodies come and go in consciousness,

And consciousness itself has its roots in me,

I am life and mine are mind and body,

So you see these are all states of mind,

Everything is word bound,

Everything is thought bound,

Including the idea of I was born,

I am going to die,

Do you ever feel that you're going to die,

How old are you,

You don't need to tell me,

Announce it in your mind,

How old are you,

Do you feel you are that old,

Do you feel even one day old,

One minute old,

You feel ever new,

Why,

Why,

Yes,

The now,

Because of the now,

This is my direct experience,

Every now there is a new me,

There is a new perception,

There's a new sensation,

New thought,

New feeling,

The I am is born every now and dissolves every now,

So it's not that just there is the wave of the perception,

Sensation,

Thought or feeling appearing and disappearing,

The I also appears and disappears along with it,

Do you see,

This Maharaj gave a hint in the second chapter,

That I arises only when there's something to know,

When there's nothing to know,

The I also subsides,

It becomes nothingness,

Again the next thought is there,

It arises with it,

Again it disappears,

This is the meaning of there is the next now,

I is not continuous,

I is also arising and disappearing,

Have you ever recognized how do I know both the I and the thought,

Because I'm not the I,

I'm beyond the I,

I'm the higher witness of the lower witness,

So go one more level deeper in your investigation,

Can I recognize this,

The thought arises,

The I arises with it,

The thought recedes,

The I recedes,

I the primordial awareness know both,

If it doesn't happen,

It's okay,

This takes the mind to slow down quite a bit,

Silence to be quite strong for this to happen,

So be gentle with yourself,

If it happens,

Good,

If it doesn't,

Doesn't matter,

It'll just come,

It'll just come,

Then you understand the meaning of the higher witness and the lower witness,

When I look in the mirror,

I forget this is who I am,

I look at that and I feel I am,

That's a false feeling of I am,

Who's knowing it,

The pure consciousness is knowing that false feeling of I am and that false feeling of I am is saying,

Oh there is a pimple here,

Pimple here,

That pimple is the thought and there is this false feeling of I am growing a new pimple,

Whatever,

So that sense of I am is the I am,

The lower witness,

The pimple,

I'm getting a pimple is the thought and this pure consciousness knowing both,

This is the higher witness,

So he says all this is word bound,

Thought bound,

Forgetting,

Remembering,

Simply states of mind,

Basically states of mind means that little wave of knowledge,

That is a state of mind,

Little knowledge wave I perceive and I label,

That is state of mind,

So anything is just a state of mind,

Forgetting,

Remembering,

Desire,

I want,

I don't want,

I like,

I don't like,

Good,

Bad,

All opposites,

Consciousness,

Not consciousness,

Everything is nothing but knowledge wave,

State of mind,

What is pure consciousness,

Perceiving without labeling,

There are no labels,

Just the recognition of the ocean of knowledge,

The knowingness,

Very clear,

Everything is just thought bound,

Word bound,

Take for example,

The idea of being born,

I was told I was born but I do not remember,

Ask yourself this question,

Doesn't this apply to you,

I am told I shall die but I do not expect it,

I feel ever new,

I never feel that this body is aging or I am aging,

Yeah I always feel I am and I'm exactly the way I was before,

I never feel I am aging,

So I do not expect it,

You tell me I have forgotten or I lack imagination but I just cannot remember what never happened nor expect patently impossible,

That which is patently impossible,

Yeah means I cannot remember what never happened,

I don't remember when I was born,

Yeah I cannot remember what never happened or expect the patently impossible,

In my direct experience I never feel I'm aging,

So it's impossible that I will die,

I'm constant,

I'm constant,

Bodies are born and bodies die but what is it to me,

Bodies come and go in consciousness and consciousness itself has its roots in me,

Is this very clear,

These bodies are born and these bodies are dying,

Where are they,

In this waking state,

What is the waking state,

Nothing but me projecting myself,

Yeah I am consciousness,

I'm projecting consciousness,

All these are in consciousness and my projection is in me,

Is all in me,

Very clear,

Bodies come and go in consciousness and consciousness itself has its roots in me,

I am life and mine are mind and body,

Question is say you say at the root of the world is self-forgetfulness,

To forget I must remember,

What did I forget to remember,

I have not forgotten that I am,

Maharaj says this I am too may be a part of the illusion,

So question says how can it be,

You cannot prove to me that I am not,

Even when convinced that I am not,

I am,

Maharaj says reality can neither be proved nor disproved,

Within the mind,

You cannot beyond the mind,

You need not,

Within the mind you cannot prove reality or you cannot disprove reality,

Beyond the mind you need not prove it,

You are the reality,

In the real the question what is real does not arise,

This is very important,

Only in the untruth there is the search for the truth,

You are only in the darkness do you search for light,

When it's bright daylight there is no search,

This is all light,

So in the real the question what is real does not arise,

The manifested sagun and unmanifested nirgun are not different,

Manifested I,

Sense of I am,

Unmanifested the primordial awareness they are not different,

Basically the wave of knowledge is not different than the ocean of knowledge it's the same,

The questioner says in that case all is real,

Maharaj says yes I am all,

As myself all is real,

Apart from me nothing is real,

He only goes with direct experience,

What I can experience as the witness,

As the witness I witness the entire waking state,

Yes if you say okay it is all happening in me,

Yes then all is real,

If you say no you are the body mind and it is apart from you,

No then it is all imagination,

I am not this body mind and it is not separate from me,

No only when I'm the consciousness then I see it is all me only,

Very clear,

Questioner I do not feel that the world is the result of a mistake,

Maharaj you may say so only after a full investigation not before,

Not before,

Of course when you discern and let go all that is unreal what remains is real,

He's saying don't say anything without doing full investigation,

He says that the world is the,

I do not feel that the world is the result of a mistake,

Basically forgetfulness,

Mistake,

So he's saying no no you have not done your full investigation so you do not have the right to say this,

First you do your investigation,

Discern means become very clear,

Apply viveka,

Filter out the illusion,

Imagination from that which is the truth or real,

That is discern,

Yeah you discern,

You let go of everything that is unreal,

What will remain in the end,

Only the real,

So questioner says does anything remain at all,

Maharaj says yes yes the real remains but don't be misled by words,

Questioner says since immemorial time,

During innumerable births I build and improve and beautify my world,

It is neither perfect nor unreal,

It is a process,

Maharaj says you are mistaken,

The world has no existence apart from you,

Please highlight,

Take this as homework,

Investigating your own world,

Does my personal world have existence apart from me,

Do I have proof that those tigers and butterflies are really alive out there what I call home,

You are mistaken,

The world has no existence apart from you,

At every moment it is but a reflection of yourself,

You create it,

You destroy it,

Please highlight,

You heard all this directly from Maharaj,

You create it,

You destroy it,

I create it,

I destroy it,

I create it from my subtle thought,

The gross manifestation of a world and then I can withdraw from the subtle thought and the gross manifestation does not even come up,

I create it,

I destroy it,

I create it,

Now you work harder on seeing this reality,

Not blindly believing Maharaj,

Not blindly believing Ekta,

I have to see this in that common platform of waves,

You didn't say one by one my wave,

My wave,

My wave,

You just went and grabbed a lot of waves but they are meant to come one by one in the next now,

In the next now,

In the next now,

So it's all the program is done by you,

It's actually just one now,

It's not even connected and it's all random because you went and just grabbed random waves,

There is really nothing,

There is no person also,

There is no who,

There is simply perceiving of one wave,

Perceiving of the next wave,

Perceiving of the next wave and a story which is created by connecting all the waves,

Giving the name Ekta or Dan or Akshay like that,

This is all that is there in the now and then there is the next now and then there is the next now,

That's all,

This is it,

This is it,

That's all I know,

Just be with the truth,

It's a big relief to be with the truth,

It's fun also,

It's entertainment also and yet there is no more mindless indulgence,

I am not responsible for it,

A total freedom,

Total freedom just watching a movie,

It's fun,

It becomes very simple,

I am not responsible for anything,

Not even the scores,

Just imagine I am not responsible for anything,

Nothing is mine,

I got nothing to do with it,

In fact it just reveals itself moment to moment to moment to moment to moment,

That is why it is called Moksha,

What is the meaning of the word Moksha?

Yes,

Liberated from what?

Yes,

I was only trapped in my own dream,

I believed it to be true,

I am liberated from my own belief,

It's a dream,

It's a dream within a dream within a dream,

Have you seen the movie,

They've created a movie on this,

It's called Inception,

Inception,

Watch the movie from this angle,

Watch the movie,

There is just a now,

In that now they build a staircase,

A kind of portal to connect to the dream and then there is just that many minutes in the dream which are part of that scene and within those minutes you have to create a portal to the next level of the dream,

So it's all dream within a dream within a dream,

It's a new revelation,

Wow,

Where did they get it?

From our scriptures,

It's inspired by Yoga Vashishtha.

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