Let Go Of Self-Blame And Forgive Yourself

This is a meditation on self-forgiveness. Sometimes we don't notice that we're carrying a low level of resentment towards ourselves. We wish we had done things differently, which eats away at our well-being. Forgiveness does not mean letting yourself off the hook from your values. Rather, it's taking the hook of resentment out so you can better live your values. Little by little, you open your heart to yourself so that you can open your heart to others.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm Dr.

Diana Hill.

I'm a clinical psychologist,

Host of your Life in Process podcast,

And you can learn more about my offerings at drdianahill.

Com.

This meditation is a meditation on self-forgiveness.

Sometimes we don't notice that we're carrying a low level of resentment towards ourselves.

We hold on to our views tightly,

Our self-blame,

Our shoulds.

We wish that we had done things differently,

And it eats away at our well-being.

Self-blame prevents you from connecting with others,

From moving forward,

From enjoying life.

And you can forgive yourself for your misgivings while also remembering what they taught you.

Forgiveness does not mean letting yourself off the hook from your values.

Rather,

It's taking the hook of resentment out so that you can better live your values.

You can't will yourself to forgive,

But you can be willing.

It's a conscious intention.

Little by little,

You open your heart to yourself so that you can open your heart to others.

Let's practice together.

So go ahead and find a comfortable position.

You can do this practice lying down with your legs up the wall,

In bed.

You can also do this practice on a cushion,

Sitting with your spine long,

Your shoulders dropped,

Your face relaxed.

But wherever you are,

Slowly close your eyes and let your body settle into this moment.

Feel where you touch the ground,

Chair or your bed.

Just making contact with the ground.

You can let go a little bit of holding on,

Letting yourself feel supported.

Noticing your breath,

Moving your body and letting your breath settle you,

Slow you so that you begin to take long,

Soothing breaths.

Breath slowing down.

And body slowing down.

You can notice any tension or places that you're holding and just let your breath wash over those places,

Giving them permission to let go.

And bringing to mind something that is difficult for you to forgive about yourself.

It could be a specific incident that occurred,

A pattern in relationships,

Quality about you,

An addiction or other habit.

And even as you bring to mind this thing that's difficult for you to forgive,

You may just notice what shows up in your body as you bring it to mind.

If you feel areas of tension or tightness or resistance.

And when you are in blame,

When you're caught up in being mad at yourself or berating yourself around this thing,

You also may be caught up in a story about you.

So you may notice that there's a story that's connected to this.

And can you just notice that story as you would notice a cloud passing through the sky or a car driving by?

You have a story about you.

And also notice that it's not the whole picture.

So you can notice that there's a story attached.

But also lean back in this moment into a bigger perspective.

Present moment,

Your breath.

And use your breath to make enough space inside to hold this story.

But not have the story be all of you.

This is just a story.

And you are more than the story your mind is creating about this.

So breathe and make space for the story.

And when we are caught up in resentment and self-blame,

We often use blame or resentment as a way to avoid feeling something.

What would you have to feel to forgive yourself for this?

Maybe it's grief,

Shame,

Regret,

Loss,

Fear,

Anger,

Vulnerability.

What would you have to feel to forgive yourself for this?

Can you allow yourself to begin to open your heart to feeling that?

Making space for that feeling in your body right now.

Just as you made space for the story,

You can make space for the feeling.

It's part of you,

But not all of you.

Finding the feeling in your body and softening around the edges of it.

Allowing it to be there.

And you can breathe in and around this feeling.

Bring it warmth and care.

This hurts because you have a loving heart.

So offering that warmth and care to this feeling inside of you.

So this practice of forgiveness,

Self-forgiveness,

Is first noticing the story.

Letting go of the story and leaning back into a broader perspective,

A grander view.

There's more than just this story about you.

And then tending to the feeling that's underneath.

Making space for it,

Caring for it,

Being there for yourself in this moment.

If you feel willing to open to self-forgiveness even a little more,

You can place your hand on your heart,

Your hand on your belly,

Or maybe your hands at your cheeks.

And you can tell yourself,

I see the story that you're caught up in.

I feel the hurt and the pain that you hold.

You hurt because you care so much.

You can release it.

I forgive you.

Breathing in.

Spaciousness.

Breathing out.

Release.

Breathing in love for yourself.

Breathing out love around you.

Breathing in love.

Breathing out loving space around you.

You can release it now.

I forgive you.

In this moment,

Give yourself permission to let it go.

So that you can live freely from your heart.

You can take what you've learned and carry it forward into your actions.

You don't have to hold on to self-blame.

And taking in your deepest breath.

You can slowly bring your awareness back into the room.

May the benefits of today's practice travel with you into your day,

Into how you treat yourself,

And also how you care for others.

Reviews

Beautiful meditation. I found it to be very soothing and transformative. I will practice this in my daily life. Thank you!🙏

Thank you so much for your kind words! You made me feel lighter than I have in a long time… 🙏 Great meditation, which I know I’ll return to. 💫

Forgiveness wil take more time. Slowly chipping away at the resistance.. Thank you for your wisdom.

Lovely meditation for all who have a tendency to blame themselves and carry guilt. I found this very helpful. Thank you so much for making this meditation and sharing it in Insight Tiner.

Wow. Thank you. I randomly picked this because I couldn't make up my mind on which meditation to do this morning. Told myself I would do the next one without listening to the preview etc. Just read the title, pressed play. I felt an immense sense of sadness, shame, anger, hatred, loneliness... A rush of quiet tears began to fall down my face. Then followed by a huge sense of peace. Lighter... Thank you so much♥️

Well I went straight to the pain I feel for subjecting my precious child to my abusive ex husband and taking so long to realize he was abusive. I'm so sorry to my precious baby. I really didn't know what was coming. I never ever would have married him. I should have known. I should have seen what a monster he was. I really didn't know and I really should have known.

Thank you for this kind meditation. I feel a little lighter. I’m so hard on myself. 🙏🌹🦋🙏🌹🦋🙏🌹🦋🙏🌹🦋

❤️❤️

This was just what I needed to hear today thanks for sharing your story with me
Namaste 🙏

You helped me tremendously with this meditation. Thank you! 🙏🏼💜

Shame from a place of uncertainty growing up. Holding on to that shame for several decades. Hopefully I can see through and forgive as you so beautifully guide me. Namaste 🙏

Thank you. I wish i could see you in sessions for a short time but this works too

What a great meditation. Difficult to forgive oneself even if it’s just a story. Yet I found the gentle and kind words offered allow for understanding and self compassion.

I didn't realize how much I had to let go in order to forgive myself. This meditation helped me. Will listen to it again and others after. Thank you for this. 🥰

Beautiful. Thank you. A tool and process to identify, understand and to take daily action. Namaste..🙏

Brilliant. Your words, and tone of voice, and pace carried such compassion. They were exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for this gift of healing. What was difficult was that I was listening through earbuds and the music was so loud, but couldn't drown out the kids shrieking in joy in the background. And my neck and head tightened instead of being able to relax. So I recommend that listeners don't use earbuds. Otherwise, it was spot on 💗🦋🙏