Redefining Success

How can we turn our losses into wins? Beatie Deutsch calls them 'turning points.' She signed up for her first marathon in October 2015, and now she's training for the Olympics 2020. The mother of five young children, she speaks vulnerably about her journey, staying inspired, embracing pain, the mental grit that it takes to succeed, and how to cultivate it.

Transcript

There's no such thing as like, Oh, Maybe I'll make it. If you want something, Like, You got to believe you aren't going to make it, You know? Four years ago, I was like, Totally out of shape. I had four kids in six years. I hadn't exercised in like a really long time. And I was feeling it. And I was struggling so much with just getting exercise to be like a consistent part of my life. We had the race, I was like, I came in dead last after like 100 meter sprint and I was just like huffing and puffing. Welcome to another episode of With an S. My name is Azrielle Jancovic. I'm so excited about today's show. I had the honor of speaking with Bidi Deutsch who went from couch to marathon winner. She is a mother of five living in Israel and now training for the Olympics in 2020 to run the marathon in Tokyo. In this episode, We speak about her running journey as well as some of the deeper lessons that have helped her and pushed her along the way. Although Bidi is an athlete, A world class athlete, Her message is much deeper than running. Whether we're runners or parents or friends or in relationships or working on anything in our lives, The messages that she shares in this episode are tremendously powerful and inspirational to push us forward in whatever it is that we're trying to accomplish. I was so inspired with the depth of what Bidi shared with me and I'm so excited for you to hear this. Before we begin, I want to thank our co-sponsors for this episode. To Yehudi Grumbach who is Bidi's masseuse. She lives in Israel and she provides massage therapy for professional and non-professional athletes to help them enjoy training and performing in good health. You can find Judith on Facebook or on her site judithmassage. Wixsite. Com backslash home. And a special thank you to Kesher Video. Kesher Video produces cinematic videos for corporations and organizations alike. Kesher means connection. Kesher is based in Israel, Los Angeles and in satellite locations abroad. Visit Kesher Video on Facebook or keshrvideo. Com for more info. For more info on our sponsors or what Bidi is working on, Please check out the show notes wherever you're listening to this podcast. Let's go ahead and get started with this episode. Welcome to Within SBD. I'm so happy to have you here today. Thank you so much. It's really a pleasure. This is like a new podcast experience for me. Oh, It's incredible. I'm so happy you're here because when I was, I've been following your journey and I love your Facebook posts and I love that every time you run a race or every time you're in your process, You're sharing your inspiration with everyone who's cheering you on and all your fans. And when I went to go look for your videos or your interviews that you've done in the past, Everything was in Hebrew. And it was so nice to hear you speaking Hebrew, But I thought it would be so useful to hear you live and in English for all of your English speaking listeners. So it's amazing to have you here today. And I know you just came back from a race. Do you want to start by sharing a little bit with us about your last race? So it was actually kind of a unique race experience for me in the sense that I was really completely racing against myself and my own personal clock. Not like I didn't, I wasn't thinking about how I was going to place or my competitors. I was trying to get, Do the best possible time I could do, Which truthfully that's how every race is supposed to be. But in Israel, There's not so much competition and I normally know like I have a really good shot at winning or placing top three. So this race was really for me to just try and get my best possible half marathon time. And it was almost a chat. I really wanted to break 1. 15 even though I knew that it was going to be very, That that would have been really difficult. Like it was going to be a big deal if I did it. And my coach had given me, Set the bar, Like he told me I could run 1. 15. 58 and that would be good. So I took it, I, You know, I ended up starting out a little bit faster than I had planned. But I was, And I didn't quite break 1. 15, But I was really happy with the way I was able to hold on to like speed that I'd never had for that long. Like I've never run anything close to that pace per kilometer for the 21. 1 kilometers that I did. So that was like a very, I was very proud of that, That, You know, The work came together and I pulled through. So incredible. I saw your recent Facebook posts and you shared that your PR was 1. 15 and 15 seconds. So you beat your coach's goal. You went under your coach's goal, But it's incredible how you go through your, Your process and talking about, I mean, You share so much about the race in Valencia. When you set a goal for yourself, You say you need to go all in. Yeah. So that's kind of like a theme that's come up for me with a lot of my, With like, I've seen a few times in races and then it really clicked here in this race that I realized it's true for everything in life where if there's something you want to accomplish, Like you have to fully like invest yourself and, And every part of you towards it. And you have to really believe that you it's possible and you have to really want it. And like, I think part of what ends up, You know, Why we don't always accomplish these things or we set goals, But then don't finish them is cause like, We almost don't believe that we can, Or like we don't even sometimes give ourselves the chance to try or if we do, It's like half-heartedly like, Oh, Maybe I'll make it. There's no such thing as like, Oh, Maybe I'll make it. If you want something like you got to believe you are going to make it, You know. I love it. And I love the fact that you relate that to all of life. Like there's no such thing as maybe, And you need to go all in. And those are such words of wisdom. So I was hoping that you could walk us back a little bit for those listeners who don't know your full story. Your story is a little bit like couch to Olympics. Like some people do the couch to 5k or 10k. Like this is like unheard of. So yeah, So I say I definitely was the couch to marathon person, Which is probably like extreme. Most people don't do that. Four years ago, I was like totally out of shape. I had four kids in six years. I hadn't exercised in like a really long time and I was feeling it. And I was struggling so much with just getting exercise to be like consistent part of my life. Like I didn't have, I didn't have any goals of like, I want to run, You know, Win races. I just wanted to like be a mom who's active and healthy and like agents and not struggle with getting out and doing the exercise. So I was trying to figure out a way to motivate myself because even like signing up for like an online program had like sort of work, But it wasn't like this, It wasn't enough. And I hate, And the classes give me like anxiety having to make it to a class on time. So I'm like, Okay, I'm going to pick a race. I'm going to sign up to run a race and I'm going to know that I have to train for it. And I knew that if I picked any other distance, I still could have winged it. I was like, Because I'm naturally athletic, Like I could have run 13 miles without training too much, But I knew that a marathon is like a distance that no one can show up to a marathon without training for. So like this was going to bind me to actually making time to exercise. So that's what I did. I signed up for a marathon and I gave myself four months to train for it. Wow. Okay. So you set a commitment. And you, It's not like you signed up for some program. You really put it on the calendar and then you just made it your priority. Now out of curiosity, When you said you wanted to get in shape, Like what was your goal? Was it to be healthy? Was it to be more athletic or sporty? Like what did you have in mind when you started all of this? Well, The impetus that motivated for like made me realize how out of shape I was, Was basically like my family had, We had races that we always would have these races on the beach and I'm the oldest of five kids. And I used to be really fast. And like when we had our race that it was pay such time, But when we had the race, I was like, I came in dead last after like a hundred meter sprint and I was just like huffing and puffing. And I don't know if I like consciously realized at the time how much as a, Like as a person, I was missing exercise in my life. But once I started running, I realized like how happy it gave me and I needed it so badly, But like I wasn't taking care of myself in that way. So like the motivation came from feeling out of shape and wanting to be active again. And then once I started doing it, There were all these other things that came together that made me realize like I was missing so much and didn't even, Wasn't even aware, You know? So essentially I think this is such a powerful lesson for all of us and everyone who's listening that when you suffered this loss, Like you came in last place and your family race on the beach, It was like a failure in a way, You know, It could have been a failure, But you didn't fall. You didn't allow for that to let you fall. Instead you use that as a springboard for growth and for change, Which is powerful. I think it was like kind of an eye-opening moment. Like I think sometimes we have to re I mean, And I wouldn't say that was like such a failure because it was, It was so not a consequence, Like it didn't have consequence in a certain way, But I would say it was like a, Like a turning point. Like it wasn't, It was an experience that made me realize like something has to change. And I think you can have it in more dramatic ways in your life and it could be really hard when it happens. But at the same time, It could be, Like you said, Really important for your next step of growth. Like you need to sometimes have those experiences. I love that. Looking at the challenge as a turning point other than something else. That's really, Really inspiring. So okay. So after the race, You decided you'd sign up for this for the marathon, Right? It was springtime. You gave yourself four months for the marathon. I didn't quite do it right away. I always make that I, I ended up doing it. The race, Yeah, We had these races like Pesach time. Then we had the summer and my husband did a big charity bike ride for Bike for Chai. And he raised, He raised money and he ran, Rode 180 miles and I had like supported him through that. So after that, I told him like, Okay, Now it's my turn and I'm going to run a marathon. But I officially signed up and it was exactly four years ago, Like October, I signed up for the Tel Aviv marathon, Which would be in February of 2016. Okay. So October, 2015, You signed up for Tel Aviv marathon. You're going to run this 26. 2 miles. Is that, Is that correct? Yeah, Exactly. Okay. And so was your process like leading up to it? And at what point did you start to realize like you could win this marathon? What happened is that I was just training with no time goal. The goal was to finish the marathon, You know, And I was just running the miles and I was pretty like, I didn't know anything about pace. I didn't have a watch. I would occasionally, I would record runs on my phone, But like I wasn't very focused on how fast I was going or whatever. And about a month before the marathon, My husband said to me like, You know, You don't want to just cross the finish line. You want to know, And you cross the finish line that you gave it your all. And I was like, Are you kidding? If I cross the finish line, Like that means I gave him my all, Like that's a huge deal, You know? And he ended up encouraging me to do a half marathon time trial for myself. And then based on that, He said, Well, We'll give you a, I'll put it in a race predictor and it will tell you what you could, What's your best time for the marathon, What you should be aiming for. And cause I guess he knows I'm competitive, But you know, I always say, That's all you need to have someone who like believes in you and supports you to like see that perspective that you might not always see. So I ran my own half marathon in Gonsocor. I ran like 12 laps around the park and I ended up finishing in an hour and 41 minutes, Which was like, He said, Based on that, I should be able to do the marathon in three and a half hours. And I remember when he told me that, Like, I thought he was, It was crazy. It was terrifying because to do a marathon in three and a half hours, You have to run an eight minute mile for 26. 2 miles. I never ran eight minute miles. I was always running slower than that and I'd never run that distance. So now here he's telling me I'm going to run a pace I've never run before really and hold it for this distance that I've never run before. So it seemed insane. And I ended up like my husband like got me a watch and he said, You can start out a little slower and get gradually faster. And then if you feel good, Like he said it, He sent my watch program to literally so that every mile I had a range of what to run. And if I ran too fast or too slow, It would beep. And every mile I got just like progressively faster, A little bit. It was really cool. And that's the way ideal way you want to run a race. It's called running with negative splits. So your second half is actually faster than your first half. A lot of people, Most runners, Amateur runners really don't do that because it's easy when you start out of the race, You feel great. So you start out going too fast and then people burn out too early on. But I ran my first race with a big negative split and I ended up running in three hours and 27 minutes. Unbelievable. It turns out it was actually like the sixth, I was the sixth woman in Tel Aviv, Which was funny. I didn't know. But the thing that was crazy to me was really just that experience of, I literally had no idea that I was capable of that. And I say today, It was a huge risk doing that for me. It was scary. And if I hadn't, But if I hadn't taken that risk, I really would not be where I am today at all because putting myself in that situation of challenge and pushing myself out of my comfort zone allowed me to reveal this gift that I had. Most people don't run their first marathon in the time I did. So clearly, Hashem gave me a gift of running, But I only saw that because I took a chance. What an incredible story. So you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. You did something scary. You ran this marathon and you came in as the sixth woman in the entire race. And this is out of what, Hundreds of people, Thousands of people? Yeah. I mean, The truth is actually after that race, I thought there's not so many women out there running the marathon. I was like, We got to get more Israeli women on the marathon. I remember thinking that distinctly, But no, There were, You know, I don't know how many hundreds of women there. All right. Everyone who's listening to this, Come run with Beady. Come run the marathons in Israel. Great vacation destination for all of our listeners who are listening abroad. It's an amazing place. We have everything here in Israel, Everything you could imagine. So I love that plug to visit Israel and come run. And it's just, It's just such a, It's quite a story. So you feel like you were given these gifts by Hashem, By the infinite, By the creator, These gifts, This gift of running. Can you share with us a little bit about like, What is this gift of running? Like, What is the spiritual side of running? Well, First of all, I think running is like a really amazing opportunity to tune into yourself. And I feel like in this day and age, We don't do that enough. We're always, And yeah, You can go on runs and listen to music and podcasts also, But I spend a lot of time running without anything. And it's like, It's this, It's just an opportunity to connect to my thoughts, But then bring it back to the creator, Hashem. Like because when you run, You use a lot, You use so many parts of your body. So it also helps you appreciate the like miracle that our body is, Which I feel like you could go your whole day and not notice or pay attention. I've learned so much about all of my different body parts with everything, You know, And every time I take a step when I'm running, I'm like, Wow, It's a miracle, You know. That's so beautiful. And I go out in nature a lot. So it allows me to like appreciate the world as well. So it's like kind of all, It's connecting with yourself, It's connecting with your, You know, Building that relationship with Hashem, Having an opportunity to talk to Hashem, To you know, Meditate, And then it's connecting to like the beauty of the world. So I think this is really interesting. I think it's going to be amazing for our listeners to hear a little bit more about what it means to talk to Hashem. So recently in my book, I spoke about my own practice of having personal conversations with the creator and what that means for me. And the fact that because the creator of the universe is limitless, Is infinite, It can be attuned to our biggest desires, Right, Our desires for humanity and for the world. And it is so unlimited that it can even tune into our personal desires and whatever it is that we want for our family, Whether it's like health or if we have a problem at work, Or we need to get our car fixed or, You know, Anything. This force, This power is limitless. So I'm curious, Like in running and in life, What goes on for you? Like how do you relate to what we call, So in Hebrew, We call it Hashem. And for those of our listeners who don't know Hebrew, Ha means that and Shem means name. So this idea is that we, Because we cannot put limitations on that which has created us, It's really boundless. We call it the name because we don't want to limit it with words. So it's really deep and it's a really beautiful idea. I love how it's expressed in Hebrew. In terms of talking to God, Like I have two opportunities. I have like a formal, You know, My formal ways of connecting, Which is through like daily prayer, Which I think is really important. Also, I see like, There's a power in the words that we say, You know, In prayer. But then I also see that like, We have opportunities through our entire day to have like informal conversations with Hashem. And for me, It's actually you talking about the infinite, Like, That was something that like last year when I was started training more seriously for marathons, And I was training for Taveria and I was doing like real interval training for the first time. I remember when this like thought clicked in my head, I was like, Okay, If I have a, You know, Piece of I have a spark of God within me, So I'm connected to infinity. So if I realize that like Hashem is infinite, He's, And then really anything's possible. So like, It became my like mantra whenever I'd run a hard workout, Like, I'm not it's not me who's doing it. Like I'm just connecting to, You know, Hashem, Who's infinite, Who's limitless, And then I can run as hard as I need to run like it's gonna it's all possible, You know. So that's a bit of thought that powers me a lot. That's beautiful. It's like that, That these powers were placed within you. Right. And then and then I realized, Like at the end of the day, I mean, Every step I take, It's not coming from me. It's coming from Hashem, You know, He's the source of my strength. So I'll if I'm feeling tired, I ask Hashem to give me extra strength. If I'm, You know, Having having a rough workout, I talk I ask, But even if not, It's the funny thing is though, Sometimes I'll save to get myself through a long workout. I like save my reliance on God for like the final kilometers. Like I spend most of the time keeping myself calm and like think visualizing like different or using my imagination. But like the prayers has to be like the last resort. But I also I also like kind of just review a lot of times if it's my morning run, I'll like think about my my day what's ahead of me and you know if I need help with certain things going on in my life or if I just think about things I want to improve or you know, Review my day from before I kind of feel like it's a meditation but there's sometimes just having this these little you know Hashem helped me with this helped me with being a better mother helped me with getting through all the tasks I have to get through, You know, So those kind of conversations also. So it's basically creating a space for yourself to tune into those things in life, Which are the most purposeful and meaningful for you. Yeah. Incredible. So in terms of your goals and your interests with running and in life, You've conquered some serious goals lately. And you know earlier you spoke about the fact that you'd had your children in a relatively short amount of time and I know you're doing so many things in your life. So I'm curious if you want to share a little bit with us about what what what's on the forefront for you and what are your goals both in running and also your spiritual goals. I haven't made it to Tokyo yet. So like my big goal for this year is to qualify to represent Israel because they made the standards new standards are much more difficult and more complicated. So I know what I need to do. I don't know if I'll get there but I mean there's a good shot and I'm going to do I'm I'm really doing everything I can to put myself in the best position for that. They're only taking the top 80 women ranked worldwide and each country can can send no more than three women but so the way you get ranked is by you get ranked in this point system it's a new new system and you get points based on how fast you run but also how you place in a field. And I'm looking for them to take the points of my top two marathons. So my half marathon time this time was not for the points but it was more as an indication for myself that I'm progressing towards the time I need to run in the next marathon. I'm running my next marathon hopefully God willing January 3rd in Taveria. If I do so my coach had we fit we calculated like what the average number of points the 80th woman has has had for most weeks for the past few months. So I know that I have a shot of achieving those points but I won't know I won't get a final answer until May because they're leaving the ranking open. You have until the end of May to qualify. So when you think about when you think about the Olympics and you think about these races that you're running and this incredible success that you're having what keeps you inspired to keep doing because you're putting on a lot of time now right. You're all in. Well two things I like running so I'm really happy that I get to do it as like a profession right now. I was working full time until a few months ago and it was super challenging to juggle working and training and mom. And I made a decision to like take the work the other job out of the picture so I could be more present as a mother and be become a better athlete because I knew I needed like to do to reach my goals like I needed to be all in. So it was good because my whole life I was always a person that was like doing a million things and you know I love teaching and running and meeting people and connecting but like I chose recently my motto has been like I'm going to simplify and like I'm going to do less because in some ways less is more and I want like I want to be focused on what I'm trying to do. So like I would say my two main goals are be the best mom I can be and achieve my running goals. And I mean as a corollary like I've seen thank God that like I can help I can connect with other women and and and people through running and I'm able to share things that people find powerful. So I've been doing speaking recently and that's really fulfilling also. Oh that's incredible. So tell me a little bit about the speaking you've been doing recently. I've done high school college students young professionals moms you know mixed groups like all different groups that I spoke to and but somehow like I feel like I can share pretty similar ideas and every and it resonates with people like all ages you know. You've inspired so many people I know I've been personally inspired by what you share and and following your journey winning like it's not about the winning races it's really about like the the person that I've become and the character that I've developed through it and obviously it can happen in a lot of different mediums like I think we're put on this planet to work on ourselves as human beings and in many but I find like running is this like amazing physical metaphor for like the spiritual work that we need to do and it's funny because like my mentor and Rabbi, Rabbi Kellerman like he also was the same way he also looks at it like that which which makes sense that's why I guess I but anytime I listen to a class he'll always be giving examples from like Olympic athletes and and all kinds of things like that so and it makes me smile and the truth is that one of my running mentors who's Dina Castor her mantra was like define yourself and and she talks a lot about this in her book Let Your Mind Run which is amazing but she really just speaks about like the it's much bigger when you're like working because it's not about like winning a race or how well you did on a workout it's how that moment transformed you and what transferable skill you could take from that to fate when you come face another challenge in your life like how you're going to be able to handle it better and I think that because it's not so common in the like religious from world that to like be a professional athlete and be a mom of five so like people relate to people find my story interesting because like it's different you know what's so unique about you is that you're so authentic and you're so yourself so you have this these universal messages and universal inspiration you just said that we are here we are put on this planet to become better human beings and that when you run you take what you're gaining from that challenge and it makes you it makes you better and it helps you grow and I think those are such universal messages and at the same time you describe yourself as a religious woman now for our listeners who are or are not familiar when they when you're going to see Beaty's pictures and B's page you'll notice that she dresses a little bit friendly than basically what every runner in the race every female runner yeah I stay I stick out like a sore thumb you stand out what's the quote that says why fit in when you were born to stand out so you're definitely you're definitely standing out yeah so I grew up and you know religious like as an observant Jewish woman my whole and part of that package is is dressing modestly something will life so in a certain way I guess you could say I didn't choose it because I believe that you make choices when you when you keep fulfill the mitzvah but when you grow up doing it your whole life it's almost like subconscious I guess it's a it's an automatic part of you and it's not something that I ever like really questioned like as I got more mature and older I learned the deeper meanings of it's new and it's something I really cherish but um it was it was never something that I was gonna not do like when I was 12 I stopped doing gymnastics because it was a problem of modesty it's like I chose modesty was always like my first priority and I had to find sports that revolved around it and running is great because they don't really care what you wear obviously for me I lose a couple you know in a in a marathon I'm probably gonna lose a minute or two of time because of what I'm dressed what I'm wearing but I don't find it people ask me is it not comfortable no it's very I'm very comfortable on a skirt and long sleeves the only thing is that when it's hot you know I can't cool myself off as much so the truth like I've had a few races where it was particularly hot and I felt it a little more and even actually in my race in Valencia it was good weather but it was sunny and and like I was pouring water on myself to keep myself cool and I think I poured too much water to the point that like my skirt and shirt were like really sticking to me and I was like oh my gosh like it would be so nice if I could just like and I was wearing like compression shorts and like I could have just pulled off my skirt and shirt and I never had that feeling before like I never actually thought oh I really want to do this but at the end of the day it like flashed through my mind like oh I could be really like a lot cooler if I took it off but then I feel like you know it the choice of to me the choice of being modest is a choice that I'm going to hold on to for eternity because it's an opportunity to uphold my dignity and the choice of being comfortable in that race is like a two second thing so it wasn't really a question at the end of the day. Wow it's incredible because you are so committed to running but beyond that commitment to running you have this standard that you've set for yourself which is really high. For me to wear a skirt and be proud of it and be you know very public about it and hopefully be on the front line in the Olympic race I want to show women that like you can wear whatever you want as a runner and there's not like one way to look like I think sometimes people feel from like the fitness industry like you have to be showing off your body in a certain way you know and if you have them if you have the body to flaunt it and like I don't there's no problem with that either but I want girls to feel like you can wear whatever you want and be at the top of the field in your sport even if you're wearing a skirt you know. In certain cultures there's an idea that women are liberated when they wear less and I think it's interesting when you walk into a gym and you see or you go to the beach and you see women wearing not a lot at all and their male counterparts more often than not have these comfy cozy gym pants on and t-shirts and women who are quote unquote liberated are wearing so much less so obviously it's a choice and I have no shame you know I don't I don't want to cause anyone shame for anyone's choices of what they're wearing and you know we're all we all have the freedom of self-expression but I think it's really liberating that you're creating a model for an athlete that can run you can observe the laws of modesty and and wear what you feel is dignified and still be at the top of your game so it's really inspiring. Yeah that's my goal there's a fair amount of besides for Orthodox Jewish women there's actually a fair amount of like Christian women out there who wear skirts and exercise so it's cool like I see that people I've connected with a lot of all different types of skirt runners on Instagram. It's really fascinating and it's tremendous how we can go online and through the power of the internet and social media we can learn about all of the different ways that people around the world are expressing themselves and their spirituality so speaking of spirituality have you discovered any messages or any lessons throughout the process of this training that you can share with us? Training like at a serious level has made me much more conscious of the role our mind plays in like how and how much our mindset affects like how we how we perform and how we respond and how we react and like for a large part of my life I was not a very self-aware person just like I'm a very you know I guess like go go go do do do not think think think but it's funny I feel like the more I run the more I've tuned into my like thought processes in a certain way and become became more like aware of like the thoughts that could cause me to respond and react different ways and for me as a mom it's helped me realize that like if I'm able to overcome the pain of like my body and push myself to continue going even when I feel fatigued and and have such a high level of concentration and focus then I can also be patient and hold myself back from losing it with my kids and be you know all those kind of things or like it's helped me just realize like how I needed to take care of myself to be able to to give to my kids and like I wasn't doing it for so long and I didn't like I said at this in the beginning but I didn't realize both like how badly I needed it to be a better mother and to be a better spouse and I think it really gave me such a it transformed both of those areas of my life. I think and I'm curious to hear your take on this but a moment of stress like I use the example of say I'm cooking dinner and my kids are making a mess or yelling or doing something and they won't stop and the physical sensations I could get right I might feel that in my chest or in my stomach or even in like a particular physical location in breath and rather than reacting I can breathe into the moment I can be present I can bear the discomfort and I can respond mindfully right so that's training me to be stronger and to be able to withstand more. What you're saying is 100% spot on like when you go through a workout let's say you're getting to the point of reaching like fatigue so you could you have two choices of like you're letting the let it let it overtake you or like the same when you're stressed out your your blood pressure is rising your you know heart's beating quicker and you can let it go to the point that you yell or you could say like hold on a minute like I'm feeling stressed what do I need to do to calm myself back down it's like when I'm in the point of like okay it's getting hard like I'm feeling my body wear out so I have tools to so I'm aware of that so then I access the tools that are going to help me like surge through it so either it's going to be okay try and distract yourself okay focus on you know what can you look ahead at you know use cues to check in on your form when you're running or visualize or use a mantra like all different things but stay calm remember like I don't let myself get to the point of I can't handle this I'm too tired because as soon as I start saying oh my gosh I'm too tired this is too hard then yeah I am too tired and it is too hard and my body starts slowing down and it's a it's a vicious cycle like you just you can't you can't maintain it so the whole goal when I'm doing a workout is to not get to the point of negativity fatigue slow down it's to keep myself stable calm happy relaxed you know so I feel like it's an amazing tool it's like an amazing opportunity to to work on that and then you have those moments like you said in every all the time in real life you know absolutely and to have the tools in our pocket to be able to regulate ourselves is incredible so it's so it sounds like you're using a lot of tools in running to propel yourself forward and I'm curious like what do you do if you notice a thought like are you able to notice a thought in a race say a negative thought I mean negative thoughts and you know human beings are just so common and present and they're there for intelligent reasons to keep us safe and so forth and and and it's just normal that they could pop into our head but what do you do to allow yourself to like notice it but not get sucked into it I don't know I I feel like I'm just very good at countering those voices like I I naturally I know this about myself that I have been blessed with like a good like I'm a very optimistic person so like my first instinct is to always stay positive so if the negative and then like I'm able I hear the voices very clearly so some people only hear the negative voice but I can always like I can hear both voices in my head a lot of times and I'm very in tune to the voices like if the voice comes up and says like oh my gosh like you started out way too fast you're never gonna be able to hold it like my natural instinct will be to counter with like you know that's just a fear don't let that fear hold you like fear is gonna hold you back you gotta keep believing like that's not of course you can hold it you're just in the first miles keep focus on one mile at a time you know it's like and I think that it could be it's like I said it comes more naturally to me probably than some other people but I think it's also something you develop and work on like when you keep that's what you do through training when you keep putting yourself in circumstances that are not not always easy and you develop the tools to get through them so that it becomes easier so it's like a process and you have to be like willing to to work on yourself in that way and say and like even if your starting point is like hey I'm a negative person but like you're cognizant of it so then listen when you when fine-tune that like when you hear the negative voice the first step could be like just just just stop and acknowledge that it's a negative voice and like it might not be the whole truth you know like absolutely absolutely so so stopping so if someone has negativity it's stopping to be mindful that there is a negative voice okay there might be a negative voice but that negative voice is not me it's just there and if I can notice that it's there just like there's a tree and a flower planted in my garden I don't have to necessarily immerse myself in them or smell the flower or sit under the tree right those are thoughts that are there and I can turn my attention right to a different thought it's totally it's just like it's it's it's like meditation this is exactly exactly like meditation I feel like people don't even realize sometimes that the negative voices are just voices they identify their whole being with a negative thoughts you know right right I hear that I think a lot about the idea of self-compassion and I think that once we can understand the way that our minds work the way that human brains work we can have compassion and say like that is just the functioning of a brain and that's a certain part of my brain working to keep me safe but I'm gonna remind myself that I'm safe I'm gonna tune in to my breath in meditating or in running maybe it would be like you said tuning into your form and and shifting your focus and I think so much of of that process that you're describing and also you know with meditation comes to just reminding ourselves like okay it might come up that thought I'm now going to return to the truth right and return to the optimism I'm so excited for you in all of this now what can we do as for our listeners everyone who's following your journey how can we support you um that's really nice of you to ask well I'm currently I'm on Instagram people can follow me there marathon mother I'm on I have a Facebook page well I guess I'm currently sponsored by like the state of Israel running is not like up there with like basketball and soccer it's just like there's no there's there's much less money in it but there are two things I feel like I want in a way to show you know female athletes that you can be a success you can have a successful career and running and still be a mom I think that sometimes like people don't feel it's possible I think you can balance both and in general in Israel for women more women to be able to and like more religious women to know that like you can you can run you can even compete and you can still be completely you know true to your values so those are so in terms of sponsorship like I'm very reluctant I don't want to commercialize myself so that's always been holding me back in a certain way I'm very authentic and transparent and like what you see is what you get and I don't want to become a person that people are like oh she's always posting about products or things like that I don't think it has to be that way and I think people would probably be genuinely happy if I had sponsors because like everyone needs to earn an income you know so that's just the reality of life and when you have five kids you need to earn more income so so I guess I'm yeah it's it's mostly just that there is not in Israel there's not like shoe companies that are sponsoring you the way in America there's a lot of you know company you can you can get there are sports agents and you can get them to you and they'll sign deals with all these different companies like here it's a lot harder okay I hear what you're saying so I definitely appreciate what you're saying about like you know you don't just want to be an influencer posting products and things that are unrelated I do feel like you know I've seen you I think it was Hana Bana or when I think that was the company you're wearing her clothing and I thought that was really cool because it's the clothes that you're actually wearing and it's actually helping you and so I think for for those of your listeners and those of your followers who are watching you and who were looking to you for help and advice I think it's helpful at a certain point to know like what skirts are you wearing right things that right that's true the truth is I have like an amazing massage therapist that like she's so humble she like doesn't even ever want me to post about her and she charges like nothing but she's like so great I would like sing her praises to this guy and and when I recommend her people are always like wow she's amazing and they go to her they also agree so there are certain things like yeah I'm happy to endorse what what's her name her name is Judith Grumbach she's she's absolutely amazing incredible incredible so you're getting a lot of support do you feel like you're getting a lot of support right now are you looking I mean like what type of support has been helpful your massage I feel like I have a ton of public support like people I'll see I'll just like well go places and people will tell me like oh my gosh you're the runner like we're rooting for you and that's really hard like I'm really touched and having the support of people just cheering you on is very powerful I I feel that a lot and the truth is that I actually spoke to someone last week and she she was interested in creating we didn't come up with a model yet but she wants to do something kind of like a community of women who would want to like actually sponsor me and and she said it it could be really empowering for other women that it's like you see this is like a community thing like when someone wants to achieve a goal like we're there to back them up and be behind them and like we don't necessarily need to rely on like shoe companies to sponsor us you know like so I thought that was cool if we could put something like that together and she was very interested in doing it so I said I'll I'll be part of it you know I think that's an amazing idea definitely keep me posted as that manifests and the other thing I was I was recalling when I was listening to speak was that at one point you were wearing a Shabbat. Com shirt which was really cool because you were wearing a shirt and and you were being sponsored by a really amazing cause well they didn't actually sponsor me but I just believe in it so I put it on the back of my shirt I love it I love it I used to work for I worked for a long time with Robin Klatsko and I have a lot of I just think he's so dedicated and he was always so passionate about Shabbat. Com and I thought if I'm running and someone sees that and and ends up finding a Shabbat mail because of me like that would make me really happy so and I also raise money part of when I run I raise money for Based on Yela which is an organization a special rehab program for kids coming out of the hospital to help them integrate back into their everyday life if they've been struggling with like different kinds of mental illnesses and it's a really cool treatment facility that's incredible that sounds like a really incredible cause and in terms of Shabbat. Com for our listeners who might not be familiar Shabbat is the day of rest it's a Sabbath and Shabbat. Com is this really wonderful website that sets people up so people who are total strangers can meet on the social media platform and receive hospitality home hospitality invitations to have meals in people's homes as well as sleep in people's homes and funny enough BD Rabbi Kotska was my key rabbi when I was in college. Oh where were you in college? So I went to UCLA and I met him in my orientation. Oh my gosh that's a long time ago. So I'm a little older than you I graduated UCLA in 2002. Wow Rabbi Kotska is amazing really he is. Yeah it was definitely a life-changing experience so beautiful causes and it's just amazing to watch your journey unfold it's been so great to hear your story and be inspired by you and I really just appreciate you being here with us. Thank you thanks for having me I've done a few this was the first time that I got to like share a lot more about like my mental processes I really enjoyed that and I'm grateful they gave me this opportunity and I think what you're doing with your book and your podcast and your you know website is really cool so I'm excited to be part of that also. Thank you so much if I can support you on this journey in any way I'm here for you and you know where to find me. Thank you. All right friends was that amazing or was that amazing? You know after I did this interview and kind of went back to life as usual I kept thinking about what Beatty said about a turning point about how when she lost that race and she realized how out of shape she was and that she had goals and she had hopes for herself she saw that loss as a turning point and I kept revisiting that phrase as the days went by and I would notice a disappointment or meet someone who is experiencing a transition or even a perceived failure and coming back to this word turning point and if there's one thing I could leave you with from this I think it would be that I'm sure you're also taking away a lot. For more about Beatty you can check out the show notes you can find her Instagram page she's marathon mother and for more about my work you can visit my website Azrielajinkovic. Com Az-R-I-E-L-A-G-A-N-K-O-V-I-C. Com I know I need a shorter website name if y'all have any ideas for me feel free to pitch them and you can check out my book Beyond All Things I also do Masterminding that's all on the site I love you all so much I bless you with so much inner peace so much peace around you and so much connection it's within us in all moments and it's up to us to bring it out into the world every blessing thanks so much for joining me.