More significantly,
In the last 10 years,
We are naming trauma as an important lived experience that I believe we all share.
Trauma defined is the experience of a very stressful,
Frightening,
Or distressing event that was or is difficult to cope with and beyond our control.
It could be one incident or an ongoing event that happens over a long period of time.
Defining trauma has given it a voice and a place in our lives as significant.
Putting a name to trauma has changed the way we think about what we have lived and endured,
Bringing to life the systemic generational patterns of living and reliving trauma episodes as a course of everyday life,
Not to mention the unforeseen life events that impact us deeply.
To continue in a situation or life circumstance that is trauma-inducing is not sustainable for complete healing to occur.
For so many who continue to live in a toxic and unsafe environment,
The cycle of trauma perpetuates,
Holding us prisoner.
This episode is about healing.
It is about recognizing the need for removing yourself from the conditions and situations that continue to evoke the experience of living and reliving trauma,
As well as its physical,
Emotional,
Psychological,
And cognitive impact.
If you or someone you know needs help to create a safe environment so that they can fully heal the past traumas they have suffered,
Please share this episode with them.
It is a starting place to begin,
And it is also a way to gauge your journey of healing.
I share with you this checklist.
It is intended to give you viable ways in which you can soothe and heal the body and mind,
And to free yourself from the trauma experiences that you have lived.
Consider what you are able to do now,
And what you know is necessary for all of your healing.
Time alone does not heal.
It creates space and distance from the trauma event,
And yet the mind is brilliantly trained to protect you in danger.
Danger that you experienced once or frequently,
Meaning that the mind and body can sense a danger related to a past trauma from a current moment experience,
Which is why we react in a heightened state to what may on the surface be an ordinary moment.
The definition of trauma is inclusive to your unique experiences.
It also means that we have all,
As a facet of being a human being,
Experienced moments of distressing,
Frightening,
And very stressful events.
Remember that as a child you do not have the tools to properly process trauma experiences.
They remain dormant for a time,
Or you may have relived trauma events so frequently that it became a way of life.
Your only recourse was to find a path of survival.
The list I am about to share is to incite you to actively self-soothe and calm yourself,
To create safety,
To actively take emotional,
Physical,
And psychological care of yourself with positive,
Deliberate actions,
And to remove yourself from situations in which you are continuing to experience or re-experience the trauma event.
All of these are to help you now and as you begin or continue in your healing journey,
Because there are so many ways to find and live a successful,
Healed life.
And as always,
If you would like my professional help as you seek and nurture your healing,
Please reach out to me.
Here is your list.
They are not in order of importance.
These are all inherently important.
The trauma mind needs soothing sounds,
Such as nature,
Instrumental and ambient music,
Or music of your choosing.
It also needs quiet and silence.
The trauma mind needs meditation and activities of stillness and without an end goal.
It needs stillness rather than doing and busyness.
Because you may be sensitive to noise and external stimuli,
You may need to create an environment from which you can work and live in quiet,
In peace,
In tranquility.
And this includes managing your social calendar so that you are giving yourself ample time to bind and return to homeostasis.
The trauma mind needs order,
Organization especially,
If your life in trauma was chaotic and disorganized.
The trauma mind needs autonomy and freedom.
This notion of self-control and freedom of choice.
You must choose what is right and best for you always.
The trauma mind needs self-governance,
To be able to make decisions moment by moment that are guided by your present emotional and physical needs,
And to honor your needs,
To obey them,
Is a practice of self-love.
The trauma mind needs understanding and knowing yourself.
This is often a deep dive that we do together in therapy and coaching in order to learn about who you are today,
Which is so much more capable than who you were at one time and in the experience of trauma.
It's also important to understand others,
Including to process events both past and present in a thorough way so as to create understanding of another's words and actions,
Whether at the time of a past trauma event or in a situation in the present,
Because it helps you heal,
To be able to make sense of what is happening currently in your life and in your relationships,
And especially since others are not always wholly honest and truthful.
The trauma mind needs to lean into your intuition for answers that you cannot necessarily find or trust in your physical world.
Intuition is powerful and highly accurate as you attune to it.
There are many practices for trusting your intuition,
Your gut,
And also as I teach this,
To trust in the wisdom of your heart,
Your second brain,
With its more than 40,
000 neurons,
The same type of which is found in the brain.
Intuition can help guide you to find your answers and to help provide clarity in situations where you don't have factual information.
The trauma mind needs reminders of your innate perfection.
Growing up in an environment where one may have been judged harshly or ridiculed,
Compared to others,
And where there were unclear or absent boundaries,
Disavowing your need for privacy,
Space,
A voice,
If you experienced lack of respect,
And any examples of diminishing your character,
Keeps you feeling powerless,
Worthless,
Unlovable.
There are a number of helpful strategies I teach,
Including the work of recalibrating one's beliefs in order to garner new and accurate ways of thinking and believing in yourself.
The trauma mind needs to trust in relationships.
Trusting relationships may be limited to an extremely close inner circle,
But most important is the ability to trust in yourself.
Again,
This is the work we do in therapy and in building confidence,
Self-esteem,
And self-worth.
The trauma mind needs to believe in a higher good,
A higher power,
An abundance of love that is healing,
All of which you have access to,
And to live this as a way of being in the world.
The trauma mind needs to hold self-empowerment and self-love,
For these may have been denied or contained within the narrative of what was deemed unimportant.
The focus instead would have been on servitude to others.
You may have practiced self-love in covert ways,
And it now needs to be the primary focus of your healing.
The trauma mind needs to create new boundaries in relationships where trauma-induced behaviors continue to replicate.
This can be creating boundaries for how you will interface with family of origin members and extended family who are the cause of the trauma,
As well as those who continue to perpetuate traumatic memories by selfishly needing you to conform to the family dynamics as you once did.
The trauma mind needs unconditional love.
You may have this with one person,
With your pet,
With a friend,
With your grandchildren.
The idea that there are relationships in your life where you can be who you are completely and to trust that others continue to love you as you are,
And also at times in spite of old unhealthy habits and behaviors still deeply programmed and often in retaliation to past trauma and abuse.
You also need to have unconditional love for yourself,
For it is in this expression of you that deep and enduring love holds presence.
Inside a trauma cycle,
We hold fear,
We negate love,
We respond with mistrust,
Defensiveness,
Secrecy,
At times self-loathing,
And a perceptive bias of someone's true intentions.
We also are hyper-focused on observing,
Always looking for what could be deemed as an incongruency in another's words and actions,
In part because we do not trust easily.
This checklist is a starting place,
Although it is also extensive in scope.
I encourage you to identify any further needs you have for your mind,
Body,
And spirit to heal.
In healing trauma,
What if you practiced releasing the self-doubt you have held in place of what new experiences you are building?
All new experiences present as abundant authority,
Because every moment you recognize your thoughts to be present to the life you are choosing,
To your freedom,
To your guiding principles,
Set the course of what your life is now and will continue to be.
All of this is indeed the path and the catalyst for greater healing to follow.
For whatever trauma you have lived,
What you have had to endure,
For what harm was done to you,
You are free.
You can give yourself all that you need to be healed,
To continue in healing,
To live safe,
A bounding of love unto yourself,
Because you need this to be supported in all of your choices.
Embrace everything that you need as important.
If this means being creative,
If it means returning to a favorite childhood pastime,
If it means living alone,
Moving to a place in which you feel entirely free and safe,
If it means having a pet or many,
Whatever embraces and encourages a life of ease,
Joy and comfort built out of the tenderness of your heart,
Be willing to honor this.
This is yet another way you live autonomous and free.
Your present life becomes your responsibility and all with love and encouragement and tenderness and the freedom to live as you choose.
You deserve this.
Your mind,
Your body,
Your whole being thrives in the present moments of forever.
There is a point along the journey in which I remind clients as they are here that they are healed.
It is not speculation or hope.
It is the gratitude of real work over time that they live fully in the authority of now.
It is a long journey for some,
And yet to embrace this truth that I am healed is the recognition of their good work,
Of never giving up on healing,
On holding their power as they prepare to step into now and each future moment.
Give to yourself what you need,
For complete healing is possible.
And then to acknowledge this,
Live in the validation of this possibility.
The vision itself is love.
Love is the carrier of all healing.
You heal through love and self-love.
If you would like my help on your personal healing journey,
Please reach out to me.
To be healed is more than possible.
Thank you always so much for listening.
This is Dorothy Sonori Juno.
Namaste.
