The Power Of Self-Honesty | The Wisdom Podcast | S3 E13

How Honest Are You Willing to Be? One of the most important things that you could ever live by is self-honesty. When you practice self-honesty it becomes a natural expression of who you are. In this episode, I share the reasons why we learn to avoid being honest; and how self-honesty is the conduit for living wholly authentic and happy. Together with loving-kindness, the honesty you hold with yourself and with others is how you convey authentic power. Namaste!

Transcript

How honest are you willing to be?

It's a question that arises often in my work with clients,

And it's a question that I've posed and suggested more times than not.

And here are a few other questions that you will or have already heard me ask.

Is that really true?

Is that completely and wholly honest?

And are you being honest with yourself right now?

As I write this,

I know that it's going to land exactly when you need to hear this message.

It's one of the most important values of self that you could develop,

Together with loving kindness and respectful behavior that you uphold.

Here's another thought.

You are inherently honest.

You learn how to misguide yourself from the truth,

And it is a conditioned behavior that we are all taught early,

Largely unknowingly.

Have you ever done something as a child out of curiosity or kindness,

Or maybe you wanted something and took it upon yourself to have this,

But not in the right way?

I'm not talking about a moment in which you were mean to a sibling and then scolded for it.

You were a situation of innocence in which you honestly intended no harm,

And then you were asked about your actions or inaction in a tone and in a manner in which you knew that to answer the truth would find you in trouble.

Have you ever done something as a child that either got you in trouble or somehow it didn't work out the way you thought it would,

And it became a life lesson,

A teaching that would challenge your ability to be true to yourself,

To be self-honest?

Case in point.

Let's say that you are a curious four-year-old with a love of animals and a huge heart.

Your neighbor's German Shepherd next door had injured its paw,

And for whatever had happened,

The dog now had a large dressing wrapping its paw fully.

The German Shepherd was in its usual place in the neighbor's fenced yard,

Lying on the grass,

Attentive,

Unleashed on guard.

You approach slowly,

Softly,

Aware of the animal watching your every move,

Your intention to touch that paw,

To gently pat it,

To tell the dog it will be okay,

And to feel better.

That curious loving child was I,

And as much as I was told not to bother the neighbor's dog,

To leave it alone because it had been hurt and needed to rest,

I was curious.

I was fully intending to just touch gently and lovingly that bandage.

Curiosity won out.

I don't have a clear memory of what that bandage felt like,

Or if I actually did touch his paw before the German Shepherd reacted and bit me.

And then everything from that moment was a little less clear.

Now here it was pretty obvious what had happened.

My cries followed by the obvious that I had been in the neighbor's yard,

And I could not deny that I had done something that I was clearly told not to do.

But even as I was being asked,

In those chaotic moments that followed,

And beyond my injury and the impending trip to hospital,

I still needed to be honest.

Yes,

I tried to touch the injured paw.

Yes,

I had disobeyed my parents,

Even though my intentions were completely pure and good.

Did I get in trouble?

Yes.

And a fearful trip to the hospital and stitches was no fun either.

But the story isn't only about being honest and doing the right thing.

It's about making peace with the fact that sometimes you are going to find yourself in an uncertain,

Unsafe,

Or even dangerous position,

And not just physically.

And in those moments,

I hope that you will be guided by your intention to be kind,

To be loving,

To be of service,

To care,

To show compassion,

To live from your heart,

And to understand that while your parents and caregivers often lean on the side of fear when it comes to putting your safety first,

The lessons and the life experiences that you gain from honoring your truth and being self-honest to who you are will always serve you.

I'm not suggesting that you take dangerous and unnecessary risks because you are an adventurous.

That's not the message here.

Rather,

Be clear about what is right for you and live honorable to yourself.

I'm also not suggesting that this is an excuse to disavow and disobey and break the rules that are in place to keep us safe.

But it is about knowing yourself well enough to gauge and assess any situation.

And if it means needing to explain in advance to a partner or a friend or to your boss why you are compelled to do something out of the goodness of your heart,

You will,

With complete honesty,

Find a way to follow your truth and still make the right decisions that will carry you forward and honorably into the next moments of your life.

One of the most important things that you could ever live by is self-honesty.

When you practice this,

It becomes a natural expression of who you are.

Self-honesty becomes what you are known for and what others can rely on you for in all situations,

Which is why they seek you out for your honest input,

Guidance,

And feedback.

I also want you to think of self-honesty as your superpower.

Together with loving kindness,

The honesty you hold with yourself and with others is how you convey and live your authentic power.

It's powerful to practice self-honesty,

To be self-honest because this is how you will make the right decisions.

Even when your decisions will at times challenge you to face your fears,

To step up,

To be more,

To live easier,

And to feel happy naturally because in the moments when you have nothing to fear,

You always have truth to back you.

Find a way to be honest whilst delivering your message of truth with kindness and thoughtful of how you say what you say.

Others will always respect and appreciate your willingness to be honest with them,

Even when your truth is not what they want to hear.

Further,

The power of self-honesty lives in how you learn about yourself and know yourself best.

This is what builds self-confidence and self-worth,

The value that you hold in who you are.

Self-honesty is the doorway to positive change.

When you are willing to be self-aware,

To observe yourself in real time and to reflect upon past situations and the behaviors that you are less than proud of,

Your self-honesty is what propels you to change and to face what is not helpful so that you can achieve the goals you seek and to live your highest potential.

Self-honest self-growth needs the touchstone of self-honesty.

Otherwise you may convince yourself that what you have been doing and how you have been living is good enough,

Even when you are not happy with the results and as you rely on the distractions of blaming others or a situation,

Rather than be accountable to yourself and self-responsible for doing better.

Here is my practical wisdom for how to live self-honest.

Number one,

Be accountable to yourself in all moments.

This empowers you.

Being accountable means asking yourself,

Am I being completely honest with myself and with others?

Ask this question more in all of the moments of your life and especially when you struggle to make a decision because of what you fear.

Make what adjustments you need in order to continue along a path and in a direction that you experience to be best for you now and as you continue to evolve and transform.

Most of us suffer because we continue to live what is not our truth.

For example,

You continue in a relationship,

Whether in business or in your personal life that is no longer or perhaps never was right for you.

Or you tell yourself that you must do something that is driven by your desire,

Whether intrinsically or as the result of an external pressure to please another when in fact doing what is right for you means that you can then freely give to others out of your honest desire to do so.

Others who love and support you will always want you to do what is right for you.

If this is not what you are experiencing in one of your relationships,

Then someone may have an ulterior motive that only serves what is best for them.

The honesty you hold and what you reveal to others will never hurt them.

As long as it is your intention to not harm but to be wholly honest,

Then you may rely on your desired intention to fuel the outcome that you seek.

Others may for a time be upset or angered by your revelation of honesty.

But when they look within,

When they themselves are self-honest,

They will realize that your words are never meant to hurt nor harm,

That your words of honesty are meant to help them witness you and their own life from a place of expansive clarity,

Of truth,

Of positivism and of love.

You deepen your connection to others and you become more trustworthy and reliable because of your word being consistently honest and true.

Others can come to practice self-honesty in their own life,

Seeing that by doing so it does not cause suffering.

In fact,

It allows for the release of the same.

In a second and final example of the practical wisdom to live self-honest,

Ask yourself in your words inside your mind or aloud,

Is this really true?

And is what I am telling myself or speaking to others entirely honest and truthful?

If the answer is not a resounding yes,

Then be willing to stop and correct yourself.

Go within,

Know your truth and be bold and courageous to live this as much as possible in all moments.

Practice self-honesty because it frees you to live authentic and aligned with your highest self,

Your soul consciousness.

Practice self-honesty and honesty with others in all of your relationships as your new way of being in this new year and beyond.

Honesty in your relationships means that others can rely on you to speak your truth with them,

To share your honest thoughts and feelings,

And to connect on an intimate and deep level in which you both support one another to be all of who you are.

This is possible.

You lead this by your example and your willingness to honor the other person's ideals,

To live their truth.

Uphold complete and whole honesty in your life and it will always guide you along a path that reveals so much goodness.

And of course,

If you would like my help in deepening your practice of self-honesty and in expressing your honest thoughts and opinions with those you care about most,

Please connect with me.

You can reach out and book a session directly with me.

I'll leave the information for you in the description.

One more shout out before you leave.

I wanted to share a few of your comments and reviews for one of my previous episodes.

It's from season two and it's episode 65,

The best part about a breakup.

Thank you all so much for leaving your comments and reviews.

I always appreciate hearing from you and I'm going to keep asking,

So let me know how this episode has helped you and please share it out with others that you love and care about.

So regarding the episode,

The best part about a breakup,

Valerie says,

Made me cry,

Made me feel,

Helped me heal.

Thank you,

Valerie.

And Kat says,

Absolutely amazing.

I will be listening to this every day,

Once a day to shift my energy on a conscious level and subconscious level.

Thank you,

Kat.

And Barbara says,

Beautiful.

I so needed to hear this as I got through a divorce.

You're so welcome,

Barbara.

And to all of you who are leaving your comments and reviews,

I thank you.

It means so much.

Sending you great love.

This is Dorothy.

Namaste.

Thank you so much for joining me in this episode of the Wisdom Podcast.

To hear more,

Please check out the other episodes here,

As well as my guided meditations,

Including my signature prose meditations and I am mantras and as well the meditations to guide you into a deep and restorative sleep.

Please also visit me on social media and say hello and a special thank you to Insight Timer for this beautiful space to share all of my love.

Allow yourself to go within,

To access your inner wisdom and to live this.

Awaken your authentic power,

Live your truth and be love.

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you for this worthy reminder of what we should all really know anyway.

Powerful!

Wonderful 🙏🏻🇨🇦