Welcome to this guided meditation for Healthy Boundaries.
My name is Diane.
In this meditation,
You will learn how to hold your boundaries so you cannot be manipulated by people who try to push your buttons.
Let's begin by closing our eyes and focusing on the breath.
As you relax and observe the breath,
Notice how it naturally deepens.
Notice the muscles of your face and neck.
Allow these muscles to soften and relax.
Notice the muscles of your shoulders and arms.
Drop your shoulders and breathe down deeper into your body.
Feel your hands growing warm and tingly with the increased flow of energy.
Feel your legs growing heavy as you ground yourself with the energy of the earth.
Now I'd like you to think of a time when you set a boundary with someone,
But then they manipulated you into giving in.
For example,
Someone might have asked you to do something that you didn't want to do.
You told them no,
Thinking that you had set a boundary.
But then they said,
I thought I could count on you.
Or,
I thought you were a nice person.
Maybe you tried to set a boundary around your personal time,
And the other person accused you of being selfish or lazy.
The problem isn't that you didn't say no.
It's that you have buttons that people can push in order to manipulate you.
A button is a belief that you have about yourself.
For example,
If you believe that you are a dependable and responsible person,
Then it's easy for someone to intimidate you by accusing you of being unreliable.
Your ego is attached to the idea of being responsible.
Can you see how this could be a problem?
Likewise,
If you are attached to the belief,
I am a nice person,
Then it's easy for someone to get what they want by accusing you of being not nice.
And if you don't firmly believe that your time is your own,
And that you deserve time for yourself to do the things you love,
Then it will be easy for others to get you to do what they want simply by accusing you of being selfish or lazy.
Now I'd like you to choose one character trait that you pride yourself on,
Which could be a button for other people to push.
I will use the trait of hard-working as an example,
And I will speak as the voice of the one who is hard-working.
A voice is like a subpersonality.
Speaking as this voice,
I would say,
I am the voice of the one who is hard-working.
My job is to get things done.
I am very important in Diane's life.
I help her to accomplish many things,
And this makes her feel good about herself.
People see how hard-working she is,
So they feel like they can depend on her.
But sometimes she takes on too much,
And she gets overwhelmed.
My advice to her is to enjoy her work and her accomplishments,
But set boundaries around her time and energy.
This doesn't make her lazy.
If anyone calls her lazy,
She can laugh it off because she knows it's not true.
Now I'd like you to speak from the voice of your chosen subpersonality for two minutes.
For every voice,
There are other voices that balance it.
In the example of the one who is hard-working,
I could balance it with the voice of the one who takes time for rest and relaxation.
Speaking as the balancing voice,
I would say,
I am the voice of the one who takes time for rest and relaxation.
My job is to help Diane enjoy life.
Sometimes she forgets to listen to me,
But I'm always here to remind her to stop and smell the roses,
To take care of her body,
And to enjoy her hobbies.
She's not responsible for other people's plans and projects.
She needs to value her fun time and her own health and happiness.
Now I'd like you to speak from the voice of your own balancing subpersonality.
Do this for two minutes.
You are a complex person with many different voices.
Don't let anyone stick you in a box.
Discover the hidden parts of you that you have been ignoring,
The voices that have the power to set you free.
When you value yourself,
Your energy will shift,
And your boundaries will naturally become stronger.
Now it's time to let go of the voices.
Allow yourself to just relax and enjoy this peaceful time.
I will be silent for three minutes.
Now it's time to come back from the meditation.
Take a deep breath and feel your body.
When you are ready,
Gently open your eyes,
Stretch,
And come back to the present moment.
