Hello my brothers and sisters.
On Insight Timer,
Practitioners,
Mystics,
Meditators,
And brothers and sisters who are looking to grow.
I am simply cosmic from Houston,
Texas.
Where the weather is a little muggy,
But the birds are happy,
The air is cool,
Heavy rain just passed yesterday,
And I come to you with another personal experience.
Because I'm always looking at how can I support my brothers and sisters on Insight Timer with the personal growth that I've experienced with loving myself.
So today,
I want to help you and share with you my realization of how I did not love myself or realizing that I didn't love myself.
And I want to say that in this moment,
I'm humbly and genuinely happy with my life.
Of course,
Many things can be better,
But I'm so grateful for the life that I have and the love that's inside of the heart,
Inside of our heart,
Inside of my heart.
So grateful that there's this realization that the cosmos,
The universe,
Love,
This divine energy or prana,
It's already inside.
But before I did not realize it.
But where did it start?
I remember about probably in around 2015 or 16,
I was dating a lady,
A girl.
And things were working out until,
They didn't,
Until one day she said for me to stop being so clingy.
And I did not take it,
I did not,
At that time,
My self loving maturity was still immature when it came to self love.
After she told me to stop being so clingy,
My ignorance told me,
Okay,
I'm just going to go ahead and be with myself because I did not want to be clingy.
And my heart told me to leave the relationship.
After sometimes,
You know,
After about some months,
I was still missing the X.
After over half a year,
I was still missing the X.
And then over a year later,
I caught myself,
I was in college at this time,
Still missing the X girlfriend.
And I was sick until I was like,
Why do I still miss this girl?
It's been a year.
She gone.
Why do I still miss her?
Even though she's gone for a year already,
This is the thing of the past.
I don't even talk to her.
Then I started to contemplate because I need some girl to love me.
And then I asked myself,
Why do I need her to love me?
And that's when the breakthrough happened because I don't love myself.
And like an explosion happened in my consciousness.
Imagine living so many years and not realizing I didn't love myself.
That's why I needed a girl or a partner to love me.
That's why I was missing some girl that's gone because simply I did not love myself.
I was seeking the romantic love because I did not know I could love myself in an intimate loving way.
I say that I love myself,
But I didn't feel the love.
I did not feel the joy of the romantic love with myself because I didn't have intimate connection or deep connection with self-love.
And from that day on my life started,
I began,
I became single for the next four to five years because I recognized I needed to learn to connect and be with me instead of needing some girl or a partner to validate me,
To love me.
And this goes same for the ladies,
Of course,
Or whatever you prefer.
We have to do the work of questioning why do I miss the past?
Because we're missing the love in our heart in the moment.
Because when we love ourselves,
It's now.
When we miss something of the past,
That's the past that's gone.
We're with ourselves,
But we're not love ourselves.
Because growing up,
I was constantly lonely looking for a girl for a romantic relationship because I put romantic relationship at the peak of the love hierarchy,
Right?
The priority of love is romantic love with girl.
And I kept chasing that for so long,
But I never questioned why do I need her to love me?
Because I didn't love myself.
And I didn't know I can until I became a practitioner.
At that time,
I was already doing some meditation.
At that time,
I was seeking.
At that time,
I learned about the law of attraction.
I learned some,
I was a pretty consistent meditator.
I learned to practice a lot of,
You know,
Letting go,
But I was not well versed.
And I still know nothing.
Today,
Ask yourself,
Why?
When you miss your ex,
When you miss the thing of your past,
Maybe the thing that you're missing is the love in your heart.
Maybe you're missing the sounds of the birds singing joyfully or the mosquito that's been trying to suck your blood as you're sitting here making a recording.
Why?
We often get caught in looking for love,
Looking for joy.
But what if that joy has always been in your heart?
What if what you're looking for was something beautiful and unique that's already within you?
What if the thing that you're looking for is who you truly are?
And for you to realize that,
For us to realize that,
We have to do some investigation.
We have to explore.
We have to question.
We have to contemplate.
We have to meditate so that we can have the revelation from the truth,
From our own heart instead of letting somebody tell us our truth.
We have to be an explorer,
Consciousness explorer,
Because one day we may be able to use these stories to make the world a better place.
And I hope you enjoyed that talk about realizing how cosmic the love is.
And if you would like to support,
Ask a question about what was in the talk today or ask on a topic,
Ask for what topic you would like to hear and leave a review if you feel inspired.
This is simply cosmic from H-Town,
Holding it down with the slogan,
Love Your Damn Self.
And I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much.
