Fulfilled Alone But Not Lonely

Today Cosmic talks on learning to be with himself. Naturally, we were raised to be codependent but often times it brings us loneliness because we think we need somebody to be happy. Today we contemplate on being with ourselves and learning to love ourselves. That we can be alone without being lonely.

Transcript

Hello my brothers and sisters in the Insight Timer universe,

In the moment.

I'd like to welcome you back to another talk with Cosmic in the Moment.

Thank you for the recent reviews and feedback on how it made you feel because those little details make a big difference because it's love and I appreciate it.

Today we bring to you another topic called how I learned to be with myself.

Now growing up I was very lonely and thought I needed a partner.

I needed a girlfriend for me to feel love.

And so every time I was alone I felt lonely because I've been programmed to be codependent.

And I'm not sure if this is all around the world but in America,

In Houston Texas where I grew up,

I learned personally that if you go to the restaurant alone,

That's a loner.

You are a loner if you go to the restaurant alone.

And we feel embarrassed to go to the restaurant alone because we don't want people judging us for being a loner.

But for the simple fact that nobody taught us to be with ourselves.

Same thing with shopping or going to the movies.

It was highly embarrassing to go to the movies alone.

But even if no one else knew,

Like if I was alone at the movie theater in the beginning times,

Why would you even do that?

Because I did not love my damn self.

I judged myself for being alone as being lonely because I was lacking wisdom,

Lacking truth.

It's called ignorance.

Throughout society and when we look online we joke about,

We play the loneliness card,

How we're gonna die alone.

And then we talk to ourselves in a fear of dying alone and loneliness.

And so in that loneliness we live our life looking for a partner but never becoming our own first.

But we look for a partner or someone naturally because as we grow up we had our mother's love.

Our father's love is called codependency because we needed it to survive that our father and mother are partners.

But as we grow up,

When we don't have a partner,

We feel sometimes something's wrong.

We feel lonely.

And we think it's a bad thing that we can't find a potential mate,

That we can't find somebody to spend our life with.

And we think there's something wrong with us but we have no idea that we can love ourselves.

And so as we progress we dress to impress.

We do our hair,

We spike our hair,

We wear the brand name clothes to get the eyes of codependency.

When we don't love ourselves,

We naturally will do everything to not be with ourselves,

To get attention,

To fit in,

To look cool because we don't know how to be cool with ourselves.

So we one day eventually find a partner.

We find a partner,

We go on a date.

We have a good time.

We hold hands,

We cuddle,

We feel great and then we feel this thing called the heartbreak.

In the beginning times as teenagers we dream of finding partner.

We call it head over heels.

We're so into wanting relationship and now that we found it we're so high of the romance because we have a high level of not loving ourselves.

We think we found the love,

We found the sexy girl,

We found the cute girl,

We found the one.

But sadly we have to be the one for ourselves first before we find the one outside of ourselves.

So why don't we notice the lack of wisdom in our family,

The lack of the use of wisdom.

The wisdom is there,

The knowledge is there but we don't listen because so many brothers and sisters are living a life looking for love outside,

Learning from our parents,

Our ancestors,

Our grandparents.

But the knowledge of self-love is there but we prioritize love outside of ourselves but we have to see.

It's absolutely hard to love other people when we don't have love inside our heart for ourselves first.

And there's so many brothers and sisters who focus on does my crush like me,

Does she think I'm cute?

Because cosmic helps many brothers and sisters on a daily basis.

Love life is the one of the biggest guidance that young and older all people are looking for because they forget,

We forget.

We don't know,

We have ignorance in being with ourselves.

So even if we find a relationship and we fall in love and we have each other when we don't love ourselves and we don't learn to be alone because let's be real,

You can't always be with somebody.

Sometimes you got to go to work and they got to go to school or whatever.

So we get attached to texting each other,

Sending memes,

Sending emojis all day that were so disconnected from our life but we're highly codependent through the phone,

Through calling,

Through daydreaming,

Through being in this infatuation phase,

The highs of the romance like,

Oh I love her.

Eventually you get used to each other and the jealousy happens.

You start to see your partners,

Hey who are you texting,

I'm here.

You can't let your partner have a guy friend,

Who are you texting?

You have high level of jealousy and that even though we're in a relationship,

There are many brothers and sisters who feel lonely,

Who feel disconnected.

Why?

Because they don't learn to be with themselves,

They don't learn to love themselves.

So that's why brothers and sisters who get married have children can still divorce because deep down they did not marry themselves first and it's not being talked about very much until we experience this thing called suffering.

Until things doesn't work out,

We have this thing called a midlife crisis.

Some brothers and sisters stay and work it out but there are many who break up,

Find a new one,

Doesn't work break up,

Marry,

Divorce,

Doesn't work out,

Marry,

Have kids and it's a cycle and cycle and cycle but they never ask why it happens.

And it's right under our nose that we don't love ourselves but so many don't know it.

When we don't love ourselves,

We also have a high level of sex drive and because when we're not good enough,

We're looking for the highs of life.

We're looking for the climax,

We're looking for to feel good because we don't learn to feel good with us.

We need a partner to do that,

We need activities to do that because we simply have desire and that the desire comes from our mind wanting more happiness.

But if we keep wanting more sex,

Wanting more time with our partner,

Wanting more,

When will we say enough,

This is enough happiness.

When do we say this is enough love?

When do we feel fulfilled and complete?

And it's sad that some of us may never experience that because we don't learn to be enough with who we are so we jump from relationship to relationship,

From dating sites to dating sites,

Going to the bar,

To the club,

To the concert,

To the rave,

To all the places looking for it.

Then the drugs,

The plant medicines,

Looking for this thing but the one thing that we've been looking for the whole time is the love that's in our hearts.

And when this goes on and we find a relationship it will cause unfaithfulness,

Partners potentially cheating on each other,

Going behind each other's back,

Gossiping.

Today I ask you,

Do you know how to be with yourself?

Do you know how to be enough with who you are or do you need somebody to make you feel complete?

Can you learn to be complete with yourself?

Can you learn to open your heart to you first?

Can you learn to fill your own cup and overflow and share later?

We have to fill our cup first but when we fill our cup and it's not overflowing and we share to others we get empty and then we start to chase the high again.

So today I ask you,

What does it take for you to learn to be with you,

To appreciate you,

To love you,

To not need somebody to say that but to say it for yourself,

To feel it for yourself,

To appreciate you.

And this is the end of how I learned to be with myself and that all the experiences I shared with you was first hand experience.

And excuse me for a little squeakiness midway.

And if you would like to support,

Leave a review or comment.

And I just want to say thank you for your ear,

Thank you for your heart and if you enjoy,

Look forward to more talks with Simply Cosmic and I hope you have a wonderful,

Wonderful day and love your damn self.

Thank you.

Reviews

Hi Thanet, I went out of the livestream and can’t enter. That happend already before, I can’t see the stream, not in the section where all live streams are shown and noton your „page“ here on IT.

Such a simple message but so hard to do. Thank you 🙏🏻

makes you realize doesn’t it.. learning more as I go . Thank you for your inspiration 🙏🌟

I love being with myself! I go out to lunch almost every week by myself, shop by myself. It was weird eating out alone at first but now it’s an honor. It is so very peaceful too. I hope more people do this in their lifetime.

Catch this teacher live. You won't regret it.

✨♥️✨

Absolutely amazing and Beautiful. What a way to start the day. So many don’t understand or have so much fear sitting with themselves more people need to hear this. I’m going to share this with a few special friends.
Thank you🙏🏾🙇🏾‍♀️

So very true ! I agree with you 100% Nobody taught us to love ourselves ! We have to start there first ! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom 🙏❤️

Enjoyed this one 🙏🏼
As a more introverted person, who also gets lonely at times, this was helpful

I wonder how many people listening to this were thinking about people who might benefit from hearing this?!

Something I truly need to practice, thank you 🙏🏽