Holding on to resentment is like taking poison and waiting for your enemies to die.
Welcome to Coached by Nikki Dyer.
Today's practice is a message on learning to let it go.
So we begin here,
By closing down the eyes,
And taking a slow deep breath in through the nose,
And exhale as your body begins to center.
Breathing in.
Breathing out.
Your heartbeat slows on every inhale,
Becoming more present with every exhale.
Breathing in deeply.
And release.
Letting your breath find a natural rhythm of its own.
We prolong misery by holding on to our ill feelings.
Venting about it over and over and over again to other people.
And replaying in our minds the many reasons why our enemies are wrong,
And the many reasons why we are right.
Reliving our worst moments over and over,
Instead of letting them go.
Picking at an emotional scar,
And refusing to let the healing happen.
Whatever happened,
Happened.
Holding on will never change this fact.
It will just keep the negative feelings of the past alive,
Keeping you a prisoner to your pain.
The moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away,
You're suddenly on the road to freedom.
Forgiveness is all about taking care of you,
Not the person you need to forgive.
It's about putting your desires to feel good again before your desire to be right,
Or to prove that someone else was wrong.
It's about taking responsibility for your own happiness,
Instead of pretending that it lies in someone else's hands.
The longer you stay attached to being vindicated,
The longer they hang around you in consciousness,
Stinking up your life.
Do not fall prey to the false belief that by forgiving someone,
You're letting them off the hook.
When you forgive someone,
You let yourself off the hook.
Finding compassion for yourself or for someone else who did something so so awful,
Is like pulling a bullet out of your arm.
You may kick and scream and hate it at first,
But in the long run,
It's the only way to start the real healing.
One of the best tricks for doing this is to imagine the other person you're resentful of as a little kid.
Think of this person acting out of fear,
Or doing the best they can to protect themselves,
And attempting to deal with their own suffering in the only way they know how.
People act poorly because they are in pain,
Or confused,
Or both.
And imagining any person as a sweet little innocent child will help you find compassion for them,
Which is the key to forgiveness.
Find compassion,
And then let it go.
Once you truly decide to let go and forgive someone,
Wipe the slate clean.
We love to form judgments about other people,
And then no matter what they do,
We look at their every move through the sense of that judgment.
Which means we're just waiting for them to make us angry or let us down again.
Even though you said you did forgive them,
You're really still holding onto the hot poles and hurt from resentment.
So I wonder if today you could release all expectations.
And to let every single person you know off the hook.
To treat people as a blank slate over and over and over again.
To expect only the best from them,
Regardless of what they've done in the past.
You may just be surprised at how much more pleasant your life starts to look and feel.
So take a deep breath in,
And exhale as I remind you that you won't ever regret moving on.
I welcome your mind back into your body,
Feeling in tune and aligned.
And when you feel ready,
Open your eyes and return to the space around you.
