Affirmations For Job Interview (Satire)

If you're facing an upcoming job interview or just need to be reminded that you're awesome, this short, satirical affirmation track is for you, even if you're not usually a fan of affirmations. It's meant to make you laugh but also to help you feel confident in yourself.

Transcript

Namaste and welcome to this guided affirmation. Please settle into a comfortable posture and get ready to feel awesome. During this track, I'll speak in the first person, But I'd like for you to understand this as what you're saying to yourself. Okay, Let's get started. I feel awesome. My awesomeness comes from deep within. I have always been awesome, And I can never be not awesome. My awesomeness doesn't depend on anyone other than myself. With the in-breath, Think, I am awesome. With the out-breath, Think, Don't I know it. I am awesome. Don't I know it. I'm going to do a great job in my interview. The people interviewing me will think I'm smart, Capable, And highly attractive, Because I am smart, Capable, And highly attractive. As I walk into the interview room, I will feel calm and awesome. I'll reflect on how awesome I am. I'll feel settled, Calm, And at ease, Because nothing can make me not awesome. When the interviewers ask me questions, I'll answer confidently, Because I'm awesome. If I start freaking out, I'll just bring my attention back to my breath, Thinking, I am awesome, And don't I know it. No matter what happens in the interview, I'll still be awesome, Because my awesomeness doesn't depend on external circumstances. I have always been awesome. I am currently awesome. My awesomeness comes from deep within, So I can never be not awesome. Thanks for doing this guided affirmation track with me today, And remember, You're awesome.

Reviews

This may be intended as satire- but it helped me nail 9 interviews in 1 day!

This made me laugh, an exercise in ego stroking I guess. But it's sad that the "wellness" industry uses this as its mantra. Having hijacked genuine Buddhist practices and turned them into mere ego enhancing nonsense. Thank you for the reminder on that trixy thing called ego 🙏

I have been searching for over an hour for the perfect meditation to calm me down before my job interview tomorrow. Im so glad I found this. It's true perfection. I am so grateful for you and the universe for guiding me too you.

This was AWESOME!!!
Absolutely Awesome, I'd even go so far to say... it's like the enlightened highest potential of awesome. Like, if that feeling after an intense hot yoga where I realise I shouldn't have had that extra shot in my sbux and I get all woozy and everything fades out when i stand back up after putting on my faux fur ugg boots... and Nirvana (not the band) like, if those two hit it off at the club one night... nine months later, they'd name it AWESOME!!!
And I tooooootaly know it now!!!

Well that's certainly put me in a light and happy frame of mind for my interview today. Thank you!