Patience With Yourself

A conversation about having patience and compassion with your self and with others. Learning how to mindfully be aware of what's going on with what your are working on and change the way you think to make peace with your situation. I do a meditation on this as well.

Transcript

Aloha, I'm Reverend Cindy Paulus and I want to talk about having more patience. And I think going hand in hand with that is having more compassion. For yourself and for others, Now, We know that everything that we experience in our own life inside is often projected outside as well. So if we are impatient and a little judgmental towards ourself, We probably will also see that in the outside world. This can be a very good thing because what happens is we reflect in our life what we need to learn. I have found that I stay very, Very busy in my life. I have a lot I wish to create. This year I did a new book, The Christmas Gift, Which of course had to be out by Christmas. And I did a new album that kind of went with the book Love Conquers All. And I'm also doing other songs I'm writing for other people and collaborations. And I also work at a radio station. I do, I don't know how many interviews a week, Probably about three or four or five interviews a week, Plus a daily radio show Monday through Friday on one of the stations. And I program a station in Sedona as well. So you can see I stay rather busy. And trying to get all of this done, Sometimes I make mistakes. And I'm also getting older. And as I'm getting older, Sometimes I'm making more mistakes because my eyesight's not quite as good. So there are things I have to really put into practice that you can learn from meditation. And also from this wonderful gift of being able to reflect in life what you need to learn that you're doing in your own life. No, I'll use an example. I happen to love being very creative. I am also not very good at details. And that's described as left brain, Right brain, Right brain, Left brain. The thing I dislike most about doing books is editing them because I'm dyslexic. And so I have to pay someone else to edit for me, Right? So I had this book out and I'm reading it. And I'd already put it out as to be published. And as I'm reading the first version of the copy, It's out. I find mistakes. It's like, Uh oh, Okay. First chapter, Second chapter, Mistakes. And then having to go up and reload it and do all that again. And this happened quite a few times. And it's like, Ah, This morning I was getting so frustrated. And with frustration is this anger. And I have to look then of course on this path that I'm doing as where is this coming from. And I'd like to share with you, Because I think there's a lesson here that you can learn, That I can learn, That we all can learn. I realized why this morning I don't like editing. I don't like editing because then I have to look for mistakes. And then I have to correct the mistakes. And then I have to do that all over again with the next mistake I found. And every time I find a mistake, I'm getting frustrated and angry because I don't like to make mistakes. No one likes to make mistakes. But hidden within that are some interesting elements, As every lesson in life holds. Is I noticed that as I was doing this, I was coming from a different place in my mind than I am when I'm meditating. That there actually is a preset, As we often can see on things that are software. Especially in music there's presets. Well, There was a preset in my mind that is not comfortable, That puts me in stress when I'm looking for errors and mistakes in editing. So I was like, Well, No wonder I'm getting frustrated. Because I'm coming from a place that I don't feel comfortable in, In a place that's a preset in my mind that is trying to deal with the stuff that's technical that I'm not really always comfortable with. And I also noticed when I thought, Okay, What if I breathe into this and just do some resetting my presets in my mind? Can I go to a different place and still find a way to do the work and the editing from a different place in my mind? And it takes kind of rewiring what you're used to doing, But it can be done. And it's kind of building a different bridge in your mind coming from that place where you are objectively aware and able to function without engaging in that er part. You know that part I'm talking about that goes er, Er, Er, That er, Er, Er, Er, Er, Is not a fun place to be in. Okay, So I went from this realization of like, Er, Er, Er, Er, Er, Er, And realized that's also a place where I get stress. I also realized when I'm in a place of stress, Maybe you too, That I want to eat more because I don't feel comfortable in that place of stress. It's such an interesting thing that happens when we are letting ourselves be mindful and putting into practice what we know and then realize, Okay, So what does this take? It takes what I want to talk about today. It takes patience and it takes compassion. It also takes, I'll add one third element into this, It takes time. When I have a ton of things to do, As I usually do, I'm rushing and wanting to get a lot of things done. And when you're rushing, You're doing a few things, Right? Think of what you do when you're rushing. You are not relaxed. You are putting yourself in a place where you can be more stressed because you have a time limit on what you're doing. And it's in that, Er, Er, Er, Er, Er, Stage. I don't know if there's a word for that, But I think that you know when I say, Er, Er, Er, Er, Er, Er, It's a place in me that goes, Er, Er, Er. Have you ever encountered that, Er? Usually you might have if you've been in traffic and you're late for an appointment. Or if you've had your computer crash and you've lost stuff, You've worked a long time, And then you might know what I'm talking about, Right? It can create that. And through tech stuff, A lot of us can create that state. So I have to wonder sometimes that these people who work in tech with people like me and the patients they have to take to try to explain how you fix something that's broken, They must have a lot of patience. So patience is a virtue, They say, Right? What creates that patience for yourself? And how does that patience for yourself relate to patience for others? Well, If you understand in yourself that it might just take a little time to fix mistakes, But that you know you're a good person and with a little time and patience it'll somehow all work out. And that's a hard thing to remember when you're in the middle of, Er, Er, Er, Er, Er. So you have to use your tools of breath and things like hanging up on phone calls that come in, Right when you're in the middle of a talk from your granddaughter who's going to get upset that you didn't take their call. I'll call you back. But it takes that. It takes that. It's like, Okay, All right, I can deal with this. And you learn over time that you can, You really can deal with this. You know, I couldn't get emails out yesterday. My internet was down and I had a deadline and it was like, Oh gosh. You know, After half an hour I realized that there had been a cleaning crew in and they'd unplugged the internet. You know, That's another thing it brings up that really helps. That is having the ability to laugh at things that go wrong. And it's yourself. You know, If you have a sense of humor, You know, You can just get by sometimes and going, Okay, I'm not going to take this quite as seriously. We get our, I think our ego gets involved in that, Our, Our, Our, Our, Our state. So we have to, Number one, Give ourselves time. We have to have a sense of humor about these things, Knowing that, You know, We all go through them. These are the things that we can relate. And that the stress when we put ourselves in the, The stress never helps. What the stress does is it gets you tense, It gets you out of whack, It can get you angry, Certainly can get you in a bad mood. So yeah, You have to use the tool of mindfulness and awareness and what you do to get back to your higher self. You breathe, Right? You take deep breaths in and you hold, And then you breathe out, And you hold out, And you breathe in, And then you hold and you breathe out. And if you do this at least four or five times, You're going to change the pattern in your mind. You know, They've done a lot of tests on this and they have found that when you are in the rrrrr, You are not breathing as deeply. And when you breathe, As my friend Roshi, Teacher says, Breath sweeps mind. So what happens when you sweep your mind? You can just let go, Okay? Let go. Now that's the next key element. Letting go, Because when we're in a stressed state and things are not going the way we want, We can get, I know I can get obsessive about it. We get focused on what is wrong, Which I see myself getting into when I try to edit. Editing books is not an easy thing and I'm not good at it. It's probably easier just to let everyone else that can do that do that. So we try to avoid the things that we know is going to get us upset as well, Right? Those things that are going to drive us a little crazy, Why go there? Now sure you can learn from it as I was this morning. I was like, Okay, What am I seeing here? What's going on? Well, What's going on is I'm getting stressed, I'm not breathing right, I'm getting frustrated, I'm not in my comfort zone, And it becomes like this spin that you can go into. Have you ever experienced that spin that you can go into when things start going wrong? Well, If you have, Then you know how this all can get out of control pretty easily. So I've been doing this all my life since I've been 13 years old and I'll tell you something, It doesn't get easier folks. Every day is a lesson, Every day there's more to learn. And in fact, When you get to my age, Sometimes you even have more and more to learn because you have other things you encounter with your age that come. But thank God for meditation. Thank God for those tools we have. Thank God we can know this next key, Which is changing your mindset. As I mentioned, There's presets and mindsets and you can go to that place in your mind, Which isn't that frustrated, Angry, Obsessive self. And you go there, Of course, As I said, With breathing, With a little sense of humor, With letting go and letting God, You go to that place of the objective observer where you know that it's going to be okay. And if you have to step back from it, You step back from it. And you just redo it when you're in a good state. And you redo it from that objective place. Now what is interesting here is you can, As you do in meditation, You build a bridge, Right? You build a bridge from your regular mind-body conscious state to a higher state of consciousness and a higher mindset and your soul consciousness. Now as we learn to do this bridge building in meditation, We can also use that same reset pattern of bridge building to go to a different place in our mindset from our … to go to aha, You know, The aha. And we do that with all those things I mentioned, Repeating again, By breathing, By letting go, By being mindful, By stepping back and then we see where in our mindfulness, Where that state of mind is because we have different centers. We know we have left brain, Right brain, But we also have different places in our mind where that comes from. And that comes by changing your focus. That's a wonderful tool, Changing your focus. When you change the focus from the aha state to the aha state, You know, To the okay state, It can go so much smoother. We let go and let go. We change that place we're coming from and we just let ourselves be okay, Be at peace, Be in a place we're in a different zone than that place we don't like that gets really us nowhere, Which is the aha state. And yes, We can do that. We can choose our state of mind and we can understand and be aware of what pushes our buttons and not react. When we're mindful, We do not have to react from the stuff that's driving us a little crazy. And that comes from understanding how you, In your own being, Work and your relationship with yourself. Do you feel like you are your best friend? Think about it a second. Really, Do you feel like you're the one there inside that's really helping you out? Or is it that maybe call it that higher self, Your higher being that's there to help you out or maybe even that inner place that you have that shines that light of who you are, That love of who you are forth. You can call upon that part of you to be mindful, To be patient, And to the next step here, Be compassionate. I know sometimes I'm trying so hard that I'm not really being compassionate with myself for the mistakes I make. And I have to be aware of the fact that do I judge others for making mistakes? Now if I'm judgmental of myself, I probably am judgmental of others too. And where does that go? Right back to what we have to learn about ourselves. That true compassion comes with understanding. Understanding and giving yourself a little inner child hug and love when you need it. A little bit of okay. All right, It's going to be okay. Because our inner self can really be throwing a temper tantrum sometimes when you're making your inner self go through things it doesn't like. And when your inner self is throwing a temper tantrum, It's very likely that you might project that and reflect that back out into the world. And that's not necessarily a pretty thing. So meditation brings out the awareness to deal with all this, The understanding of how your mind works, How your body works, How you can find more patience, How you can be more compassionate. Right now let's just take a few deep breaths and just breathing in, Holding and breathing out. Breathing in compassion and love and just letting go of any frustration and stress that you've encountered. Breathing deeply in that place of peace and letting go of anything that is holding upsetness and conflict. Just letting it go. Breathing in the light that goes six feet above you, Six feet below you, Six feet on either side of you, In front of you and behind you and letting yourself be in a wonderful protective aura of beautiful white light. And just knowing that you are safe, That you are protected. And now let's practice this bridge going from your mindset. Let's do a preset of our mind up to a higher place in our mind. Let's go that preset up to our soul and to that presence, That wonderful beautiful presence that holds all understanding and light and compassion. Let's bridge that part of our self that is not in that place to that place that is aware and open to receive that wonderful presence in our body, In our mind, In our soul. That lovely eternal presence is always there to call upon. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that the real comfort food? We have a built-in comfort food for our soul, In our presence, In our inner being that we can connect with. That presence can feed our soul what we need, Can guide and direct us. It's like a compass, An inner compass. All we have to do is to remember, To call upon that energy. Be aware and plant that intention every day to be in that place where we can get the reminders from inside ourselves that we can choose to be compassionate. We can choose to be patient. We can choose to be kind to ourselves and to others. Now slowly come back into your whole mind and your body and take a moment to feel good. Just feel really good right now. Absorb this energy of the presence of feeling good. Let it restore you and redeem you, Energize you and focus you on how you can accomplish what you wish to do by getting that set of your mind in the right place to make your life what you wish it to be. I send you all my love, Deep blessings and may you always love yourself.

Reviews

Thank you so much for taking time to post this wisdom l appreciate you 🙏
As always you have perfect timing and a wonderful relatable storyteller
Blessings to you 💜 🙏