Life After A Stroke

After surgery, I had a stroke. I no longer can read, but can still speak. It's been quite challenging. I have found that mediatization has been so important to see me through. Many things in my life have changed in a short amount of time. I thank God for the gifts of inspiration and the strength to continue. I do a talk about this and a meditation.

Transcript

Aloha,

I'm Rev.

Cindy Bolles and I'd like to talk about living in testing times.

And I'm going to tell you a little bit about my story.

It was quite a,

I'm going to call it a rude awakening,

But all awakenings have a purpose of course.

I had a stroke and it was caused by,

I went to a doctor for some surgery and I had some work that had to be done and it was not a good one because what happens,

I guess my blood pressure went way over sky high and so when I came back,

They didn't have any pain pills they gave me and I had to go home,

I was on the other island.

And when I came back I started realizing things weren't right,

You know.

It took me a few days to realize how wrong they were.

Thank God I was able to talk,

But I wasn't able to read anymore.

Now I've been told that's going to come back and I'm working hard on reading,

But it's literally like learning how to read,

Like being a baby and learning over again.

Now being in a field where you do,

I have radio and that was definitely challenging and I had to make some changes.

It hasn't stopped me.

There's always work around as you learn.

And I have to say my meditations that I do have gotten much more,

Can I say,

Blessed in some ways.

I've been able to reach inner strength and love and insight that I never have been able to reach before.

I do think,

And I think most of you would agree,

There's always some benefit when there's also a challenging time and that's what I've been finding.

But the times are very challenging and I can't drive anymore,

Which is very difficult because I have to get a ride to work and back.

So I have found that I'm really counting on that inner strength that I find in meditation to help give me the insight I need to get past some of the challenges that occur.

Whenever we go through challenges,

I think there's basic things we face.

It happened here on the island of Maui when there were the fires a year ago at this point and I saw how everyone reacted differently to really challenging times.

And it made me wonder,

How do we react?

Now we all go through sorrow in different stages and different ways,

But the way we take these difficult lessons and the way we learn from them and the way we react from them and the way we grow for them are really very fascinating.

I've always been a very independent person and all of a sudden I've had to count on others for drives to where I'm going,

For help in many things that I never thought I'd need help in before.

And I think that's part of it.

I've also found that I'm able to be in a higher state in meditation and a more,

I don't know how to call it,

It's more full of light,

More directly attuned than ever before.

I feel as if one step is in heaven and one step is on earth.

Now I strongly believe in life after death.

I've experienced what happens in life after death.

I've also experienced my other lives and other lifetimes.

So when I say this,

This isn't like,

Some people can't understand.

When I said to them,

Wow,

It's hard being here,

I'd much rather be on the other side.

And people have this instinct where they think you've got to fight for life no matter what.

I know it would be a lot easier not to be alive,

But I know that I'm here for some reason.

So part of this is the acceptance,

Which has been a real big lesson.

Just learning to accept what's going on and not resenting it,

But figuring out how I can make that more valuable for myself,

My soul and my work and my process.

And so I've also understood how other people react.

It's been fascinating how other people,

Some will just write you off because they figure,

Well,

If you can't do that,

That's whatever,

You know.

And others will really be there and try to help in many ways,

Each according to their own journey and what they're capable of and what their time allows.

But I know I'm not the only one going through challenges.

I've heard so many stories from so many people about what they are going through.

And I can't help but think that this is part of what is happening now,

This acceleration in what we need to learn to grow and to help in the transition time of bringing more light,

More of heaven to earth.

I think very strongly,

I feel that this is what we're going through.

And it's a long process,

You know,

It's not like it happens overnight.

But we can't ignore what we're seeing with climate change.

We can't ignore that.

I'm sure many of your friends have been going through some challenges as well.

And so we're in this journey together,

Each according to our own way we learn.

Now growing up in the metaphysical field and starting to meditate when I was 15 years old,

We tend to think when we meditate,

I've seen this and maybe you can understand it if you've observed it in some way.

We tend to think we're immune to the hard lessons.

Everything feels that we're doing good and there's good things,

But the reality is we're not.

We're not immune to the hard lessons.

And that's quite an awakening.

And I mean that on many levels.

We are,

From what we learn in the spiritual path,

From our meditation,

From what we do in our work,

We are called upon to do it in many ways and also to dedicate it in our lives to our purpose in many ways.

Now I'm writing a new album and it's quite challenging because I can write and I can speak so I speak what I write.

And then I couldn't read it so then I'm learning to get an app that actually will speak it out for me and then I can put that out and then I can record it.

But everything that used to take just maybe a couple of minutes is taking about an hour now or more or I can't do it right away and I have to be very patient.

And I'll tell you something,

I realized how impatient I was.

I was so used to doing things easily and quickly that I've had to have a lot of patience.

Now patience is something,

I don't know if our generation is used to patience.

We have everything that we can think of in so many ways with apps and other things that we do that are supposed to speed up our process.

It's getting even more.

Have you noticed it's just like everyone is trying to create things that make things faster and so we can get things done quicker.

And what I'm going through is kind of the opposite of that.

Now there is an interesting journey that you go through when you slow down and when you're forced to slow down.

You start to observe different things and you start to be aware sometimes that you speed through life and you do as much as you do because sometimes you don't want to have to stop and be aware of what's going on.

And we avoid some of the hard things that are happening internally sometimes by filling our life very,

Very,

Very full and also speeding through as much as we can to get things done.

But sooner or later,

You know,

It catches up with you.

Certainly it's caught up with me.

And that is one of the lessons you learn,

Of course,

In meditation as well.

I'd like to do a little meditation with you here.

And again,

This is a slow down,

Slow down meditation.

And it's a chance to just be aware.

And I'd ask you just to be very aware of how you feel and how you're sitting or maybe standing.

Maybe you're walking,

Whatever you're doing.

Just be aware of your motion or feeling or energy field that you're creating inside yourself.

And of course,

Taking a few breaths is very important.

So let's just change our focus by breathing in deeply,

Holding your breath and breathing out,

Just releasing any kind of stress.

Breathe in a deeper awareness as you breathe in.

Be still and allow the breath to go out all the way through you.

And don't do anything but just breathe here.

Just be aware of your breath.

Breathing in and breathing out.

In this moment,

All is well.

In this moment,

You are attuned to your inner self.

Breathing in and breathing out.

And allow yourselves to expand to the deeper level of your consciousness that you might sometimes block out when you're busy.

Just allow yourself to go deeper,

Deeper,

Deeper within your consciousness and invite your light and love,

That essence of your soul into your being.

Just welcome that light and love that you are into your consciousness.

Breathing in that light and love and breathing out that light and love.

Being totally aware of how that light and love is welcomed into your whole being,

Into your mind,

Into your whole body,

Into your awareness.

Let it fill you and expand and expand and surround you with a wonderful light.

Breathing in and being grateful as you breathe out.

Each breath a gift.

And now in this place connected to your light,

Connected to your love,

Connected to your soul,

Allow yourself to be aware.

To be still and know that wonderful power of the God within you.

You can call it whatever you wish.

The source within you,

The ultimate,

The ultimate being within you.

Just allow that essence to be with you now.

How does it feel?

How does your mind feel?

Can it make room for this essence of the light that you are?

Can you breathe that light in and allow it to feed your entire consciousness and your body?

Can you allow it to direct its energy to any part of you that you need to be aware of?

Just embracing the total essence of this beautiful gift of who you are.

Breathing in and breathing out,

Being in that light of love.

Welcoming that energy of who you are there into your consciousness.

Feel how good it feels to be in that wonderful essence of light and love.

And allow it to come into any part that needs to be directed into awareness.

And thank this energy that's there with you right now for being with you.

For being in your life.

And slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly come out of meditation and feel yourself renewed and recharged and re-energized with your soul energy.

And say thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you to your highest self for allowing that energy to be with you now and always.

I thank you for taking the time to be present in this light and this love.

Allow yourself to always be aware of the power within yourself,

My friend.

And let it direct your life.

Blessings from the highest.

Reviews

Thank you for sharing your story. Many prayers for continued healing. 🙏💕

Thank you for sharing your experience and this meditation ! I send you love, light, and all the magic of the Aramaic prayer that you taught me! Many blessings. 💜🌊🌀🙏

Wow, you’re able to read and write?’ Delighted to read all of your heartfelt responses to us. Love to you!

Challenges cultivate learning, acceptance is my path to peace and this talk & meditation is a blessing of love and light. ❤️🔥🙏
Listen to your Inner Strength meditation. Your own prophetic guidance tells us everything will be okay when we're connected to the light.🙏

Reverend Paulos, I do enjoy your meditations. I wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your health situation. My prayers will be with you in your healing. 🙏

May the Light and Love of our Divine Physician and Healer be with you🙏🙏

I’m so sorry to hear about your stroke. May God bless you on your healing journey.

Oh Rev Cindy I am so sorry to hear you had a stroke. You are such a beautiful and inspiring guide I want you to know what a huge help your sweet talks are to me. I am so proud of you for developing deepened patience for yourself and how determined you are to continue working. I wish I could come take care of you. I'm sending you love and healing light just like you send me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. Thank you for this talk and your wonderful work Rev. Cindy. May you be well.

Very moving. Sending you healing love and energy Rev. Cindy.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Thank you for teaching us about patience and perseverance. My husband and I appreciate you so very much and although you may not be able to read this want you to know that we are holding you in light and love. Thank you for remaining with us and being a beacon of light even still as you face these challenges. 🙏🏼💕

Thank you ....truly inspirational and very healing. Many blessings today and always 🤍💜🙏🦋🌻🕊🌈