Thanks for joining me on this short teaching exploring grief.
This is meant to be listened to in tandem with the welcoming grief practice found on my profile.
This series focuses on what we might typically see as our harder or less acceptable emotions.
Many of us have learned to push away these less desirable emotions based on a variety of reasons.
We can use our meditation practice to understand our emotions better,
What they're trying to tell us,
And identify how they show up in our body so that then we can work with our emotions and use the gifts that they bring to us instead of fighting against them.
In this short teaching before our meditation,
We'll explore how grief invites us to mourn our losses and to trust our body to carry us through that experience.
My teachings and the following meditations have been greatly informed by my study of internal family systems therapy or parts work,
Somatic experiencing,
And the book,
The Language of Emotions by Carla McLaren.
We often think of grief as a short and strong period of mourning after a loss.
This can be true,
But grief also is so much more than that.
Grief arises not only from death,
But from any profound ending,
Whether it's the loss of health,
The betrayal of trust,
Or the absence of something we always longed for.
Most modern cultures often try to sidestep grief,
Offering tidy explanations or spiritual bypasses that keep us from fully experiencing our sorrow.
But grief asks us to wade into the deep waters of our emotions,
To feel the weight of our loss,
And to allow that weight to press us into our bodies,
Into the reality of what we've lost.
If we allow grief,
It can become the medicine for what we have lost.
The questions that we should ask ourselves when we are experiencing grief are what must be mourned?
What must be released completely?
And what needs to be transcended?
These questions are not meant to have immediate answers,
But to open your heart to the process of grieving.
Grief allows us to touch the depths of our being,
Connecting us to the universal experience of loss and love that bind us all.
Grief helps us to honor the losses that have shaped us,
Whether they be the passing of loved ones,
The end of a cherished relationship,
Or the loss of dreams we held dear.
Let's talk for a moment about the physical manifestations of grief.
The movement required by grief is downward,
Down into the depth of this universal human experience.
So because of this,
Grief may feel heavy,
Like a great weight pressing on you.
This weight is what anchors you to your body,
Allowing you to truly feel and honor your loss.
Grief can feel like an ache,
Or physical pain,
Like a headache,
Stomach ache,
Or tension in your body.
Grief can also be incredibly draining,
Leading to fatigue.
Grief can sometimes make you feel numb,
Or impact your sleep patterns.
And of course,
Often the most immediate physical expression of grief is crying.
Tears are a natural way for the body to release emotional tension.
And crying can be both a relief,
And a physical manifestation of the pain of loss.
Many of us live in cultures,
And especially in church cultures,
That feel uncomfortable in the face of grief.
In religious or spiritual communities,
There may be a tendency to try and bypass grief by talking about the afterlife.
It's important for us to allow our experience of grief in this life,
Even if we have a belief in the eternal nature of souls.
Similarly,
In an overly intellectualized culture,
It may be easy for us to try and want to rationalize grief,
Especially when it's around maybe the loss of a dream,
Or something that's less tangible.
We want to take this rational logic and apply it to our emotions,
And it just does not work that way.
And if we let it,
Grief,
This very emotional experience,
Can work in tandem with our intellect and our spirit.
Grief invites them to take their proper place in the sacred ritual.
Your heart will break open,
But it won't break apart.
Instead,
It will expand,
Creating room for more love,
More capacity to breathe deeply,
And more connection to the fragility of life.
I also want to note that in many ways in our cultures,
We've lost touch with community-based grief rituals.
Yet our souls still crave these sacred spaces.
So although you may be doing your meditation practice alone,
I encourage you to think about who you can gather together to join you in a grief experience.
Grief can be lengthy,
And it's also profound.
It's best held within ritual and sacred space.
So there is a place for grief and solitude to create our own rituals of mourning,
And we can trust our bodies to guide us through the process.
As we move through this teaching and into the meditation,
I invite you to welcome your grief.
Trust your body to take charge of the process.
Allow yourself to be carried into the river of tears,
Knowing that you will be brought safely out again,
Transformed by your journey.
