Everyday Anxiety: Reclaim Your Freedom

If you often find yourself slipping into tangled webs of anxious thoughts on a daily basis, consider this an invitation to reclaim your freedom.

In this talk-cum-practice, I share a light example of my own experience of negative thinking and how I (and you) can rise above this habit and find peace.

Thanks for listening.
Wishing you well.
Rachael Xx

Transcript

Worry is a habit of the mind,

Anxiety is a habit of the mind,

And yes,

There are varying causes of our particular habit of mind as individuals,

But at this stage,

Looking at the world and society and how many people are suffering,

I think it's fair to say that we all experience this a lot more than is healthy,

A lot more than is necessary,

And this habit is going to run our entire life if we keep running from it.

Naturally,

We don't want to feel this worry,

This anxiety,

It's alarming to the system and so we try to run from it in various ways,

Usually through the mind,

Through thinking,

And we end up just tying ourselves in knots.

So how do we gain control back?

How do we claim freedom now?

The answer is not trying harder by being better in x,

Y,

Z way.

It's not by doing things perfectly or tying everything up in a bow and then I can just relax and breathe.

No,

So that is the external way of dealing with something and actually the habit is an internal habit so we need to change the way we are relating to the experiences that we're having in order to be free from them.

So by focusing on external,

We're just kind of feeding into the belief that something is wrong outside.

So we want to shift back into our being and focus on our inner responses,

On the way we are seeing things,

The way we are responding to things internally.

This is how we gain freedom.

So freedom is not found in trying to get everything outside of us organized,

Trying to change who we are.

Freedom is found in being with the moment,

Being with our experience as it is with openness,

With softness,

With acceptance.

And if that moment includes disquieting feelings like anxiety,

We want to meet that too.

So being a welcome host to the elements of our experience instead of trying to change things through the mind or through our actions.

So welcoming our experience is going to mean that we're no longer fueling the thoughts that are making us feel not good enough or not safe.

So I'll give you a personal example.

There was this time when I had a party to go to and I was basically getting dressed in a rush and didn't have much time to faff around basically.

And at a certain point I had to leave because I needed to get the bus and if I didn't,

I would just be late.

And just before I realized I had to leave,

I also realized that I didn't like what I was wearing.

But I had to leave then because I knew it would just be like I'd have to wait.

I'd be really late and I didn't want to be really late.

Even though I'd caught this bus,

I was still actually late.

I was still running late.

And so as I was sitting on this bus,

I wasn't very relaxed.

I was going to this party,

Which is a nice thing.

It's Friday night,

You know,

Cool.

But my mind just kept going to negative things.

So I was thinking about the fact that,

Okay,

I got the bus,

But I was still late and,

You know,

Wondering who was going to be there when I got there.

What have I missed?

If I was maybe,

You know,

If there was going to be food there or being ordered or something,

Was I going to miss that?

I also was thinking about what I was wearing and I was just sort of thinking,

I do not like how I look right now.

And then I was just having anxiety about who was going to be there and just the anxiety of doing the whole socializing thing.

So I was just going round and round in my mind about,

You know,

With various problems,

Essentially just various things that I wasn't,

I didn't feel safe about,

I didn't feel comfortable with,

I didn't feel prepared to face,

To deal with.

It was all just this sort of cluster of negativity and fear.

Nothing major,

But it was uncomfortable.

I wasn't present in that moment.

I was just really caught up with what was wrong when there were several things wrong apparently.

And then I realized what I was doing.

I realized that my mind was just doing what it always did,

Looking for problems,

Looking for fires to put out,

Looking for dangers to be aware of.

And so I let go.

As I realized that,

I realized that this was futile.

And that I didn't actually have to keep going round and round in my head about this.

So I decided instead to allow myself to meet the present moment,

Meet where I was.

So meeting the feelings of being uncomfortable,

Meeting the idea of I'm going to show up late,

Meeting the idea of there being people there that I don't know,

And just being with whatever was in my mind at that moment or in my experience without layering on anything,

The sense of okay,

I'm here and you're here,

Fine.

I did this as well with my physical experience.

So noticing just the feeling of being held up by the seat,

Being fully in my body,

Taking in the view of the road as the bus was moving along and just being fully there.

And sometimes I would see someone on the road and it would trigger a thought.

A few moments before I was like on a roundabout of thought,

Once a thought had been triggered,

I was just kind of lost.

But this time I was noticing it and just coming back into the present,

Just fully being with what I was with.

Noting the faces and the bodies and the trees and whatnot and just being with what was without entering into a dialogue about them.

Noticing when I was fearing off again and just bringing it back.

And every time I did that and I kept saying to myself that I was just meeting the moment and being with the moment,

Being with what was here,

I was also subconsciously telling myself it's okay.

I'm okay.

I'm okay with exactly where I am,

What I am and who I am right now.

So the question is,

Can you do the same right now?

Can you be aware of who you are,

Where you are,

What you are and what you are experiencing and just let it be with you?

So being aware of your thoughts,

Of your body sensations,

Of your emotions,

Saying yes to what is here.

Knowing that you don't have to enter into storylines,

Into dialogues,

You do not have to fix anything,

You don't have to change who you are,

That you can just say yes to what is here.

Allowing yourself to be free.

So just letting your body be soft,

Meeting this present moment with openness,

With acceptance,

Knowing that you are enough.

And if you can do that you might also be able to bring to mind something that is challenging at the moment and just let it be in your awareness.

Let it exist.

And again knowing that you are enough.

Whatever it is,

You are enough.

We overestimate challenges.

And we underestimate our amazingness.

And we just have to help ourselves remember that there is more good than there is bad.

And we can do that in every moment that we feel scared or disconnected or uncertain.

We can see that as an opportunity to direct ourselves back into okay,

Back into enough.

The world is your training ground,

Inviting you with each moment of dis-ease to reclaim your freedom.

Reviews

Really appreciate sharing your story from day to day life, and your thoughts, I recognise this feeling, and a bus or train are really helpful to just arrive in the moment and let things pass by. Your approach helps me that just be and accept is the solution instead of fixing this by mental brainpower. Fear is their because i care and can accept my ‘weakness’ and realise its part of my strength . Your final words helps me to shift thoughts and just feel. Thank you 🙏