Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill - Failure Day (3 Of 7)

The reason for this series is the desire to walk the talk, take my own medicine, put myself in the "uncomfortzone." And by doing so, creating the conditions for growth. We can not repeat things and not learn from them, not grow. And it takes no talent to repeat things, just action - and of course learning how to deal with the fear of failing. The series is a mix of words, theories, models, and meditation.

Transcript

Welcome everybody.

This is a bit crazy.

It's the third day of repetition is the mother of skill.

I'm actually in my car right now because I made a mistake with the ampm.

So it's actually 6 30 in the evening in Denmark and it's 1 minute and 53 seconds till I start the third session of repetition is the mother of skill.

So this is so much what all the growth mindset is about.

It's about actually accepting failure.

So I'm in the car.

I'm on the passenger seat.

My laptop is open in case my I don't know how to make it work on the app on the phone.

I got my my GoPro camera just needs to turn that on.

So so I have all these different devices.

I have my recorder that's recording the voice right now.

So I know that I can use this on inside timer or on my YouTube channel.

So it's a minute and 10 seconds now and I'll just close my eyes and just remind myself that everything is going to be okay.

Everything is safe.

Everything is good and I am going to go straight to the laptop in case it doesn't work on my phone.

If there is not a button that appears that says that I can go live,

I'll go to the phone.

So it's 43 seconds,

41.

My heart is pounding.

But still,

I'm calm.

I know what I'm here for.

To make this positive change in myself and be inspired and inspire others.

Growth mindset is the most important thing.

So it's 10,

9,

8,

7,

6,

5,

4,

3,

2,

1.

Now.

All right.

Hello,

Everybody.

Just checking whether anybody can hear me or see me.

All right.

All right.

Great.

So thanks for that info.

I'm actually going to tell you a short story just in a little bit.

For now,

I'm just going to see if I can have this camera.

Start.

All right.

Just hang on a second.

All right.

So listen,

You guys.

This what's going on right now is that I'm experiencing what the growth mindset is all about and what repetition is all about.

What I need to accept right now is that I'm not going to be able to activate the sound or sorry,

The video.

This morning,

I went in to see how many participants were going to be on today.

And I discovered that I made a mistake with the AM PM thing.

So it's actually six thirty in the evening in Denmark.

So I'm in my car.

I decided to go ahead and do this session again.

It's all about repetition.

That is the mother of skill.

So during the day today,

I had my mind say,

Listen,

You could just cancel it.

It's going to be fine.

You could just go ahead and nobody's going to worry.

And there's not that many people going to attend.

But I decided to hold on because.

If we want to achieve anything,

We need to make sure that we continue on the path,

Even though I might make mistakes.

I might be,

You know,

Not focused enough.

I might not be interesting or whatever.

I might put in the way of me wanting to do what I want to do.

So we're just going to go continue and I'm going to do the meditations.

I'm going to do the explanations.

I might see if I can put on the video on the laptop here.

But let's start out with just accepting that sometimes things are not and cannot be as we want them to be.

So let's just go ahead and start with that reflection and close our eyes.

And just move our attention inwards towards our breathing.

Just noticed in breath.

Noticed out breath.

Notice the smile and what it does to you when you smile.

Just noticing your in breath.

And noticing your out breath.

Just notice the in breath and noticed out breath.

So what happened now was that I accidentally ended the live session,

But I'm just going to continue it now.

My temperature went up.

I'm feeling hot,

But I'm still accepting that failure is something which is inevitable when there's something that I want to achieve.

Breathing in.

Breathing out.

My mind is throwing all sorts of things up.

What might they think was a failure?

Everything went wrong.

And my heart says everything is good.

It's just one of those things in life.

If you want to get somewhere,

You've got to do something.

You've got to challenge yourself.

Slow in breath.

Slow out breath.

Just feel the calm.

Feel the body relaxing.

Just feel whatever is right now.

And you can just go back into experiencing whatever the breathing,

The subtle breathing might make you feel.

And just accepting whatever thoughts are there,

Whatever emotions.

Just be with what is.

Excellent.

Excellent.

So what is going on right now?

So let's just take.

I do these things,

As you probably know,

If you've listened to the other sessions,

I do them in sets.

So I'll talk a bit,

We'll meditate a bit and I'll talk a bit and usually do three sets of each.

So as I mentioned starting,

I decided just to go ahead and drive back home.

And I knew that I had to stop somewhere on the road to get in and set up my gear and find out how does this work and the microphone and the camera and the network.

So as I mentioned,

My mind was just so many times during the day telling me just cancel man,

Just cancel.

It's OK.

But I know that if I cancel today,

I'll be more.

It will be easier to cancel tomorrow as well if something comes up and usually when we want to develop,

Something comes up,

Right?

We want to lose weight.

We start going to the gym and something comes up.

We want to,

You know,

Read a book and commit ourselves to reading one page a day and something comes up.

So the challenge is not giving up.

The challenge is to accept failure.

Today was a complete failure.

If you look at it from live event perspective,

Because there's no live event.

Everything just went completely wrong.

But I'm happy because I held on to what I wanted to.

And tomorrow I'll be back in a safe environment.

The camera is going to be there.

Everything's going to be fine.

And I'll just continue.

So the growth mindset is about accepting what is and what is so important.

And also something which I really realized today was that everywhere I go,

There I am.

Everywhere I go there,

I am.

And no matter what time it is,

There I am.

No matter what day it is,

There I am.

So having this comfort zone with having the right microphone,

Having the right light,

Having the right clothes,

Having all of these things,

Which is all at the end of the day,

Not that important.

The important is the message.

The important is the message to ourselves.

What we do creates our character,

Leads our way,

Develops us every day.

So I'm really happy to be here talking into this microphone.

And I'm so happy that I actually succeeded getting online for three minutes.

It feels really good.

Big failure.

Feels good.

So let's,

Let's go into the next set of meditation,

Which is to be aware of our smile and at the same time activate past failures.

And the thing is that in order to use the past failures as fuel for our emotional,

Spiritual,

Personal development,

We need to embrace it.

Embrace the failure.

Accept the failure that we experienced.

So let's go ahead and get comfortable.

Close our eyes and just notice the deep breathing.

Just create a small smile on your lips.

Just a small smile so it's noticeable from within.

And you can also feel it in your eyes.

Just have a calm in-breath,

Calm out-breath.

And with your inner voice,

You can just hear yourself saying everything is good,

Everything is OK.

Everything is safe.

Just continue repeating that just for a little bit.

Now the question you can ask yourself is whether you're willing to accept failure on the path to achieving what you dream of.

Am I willing to accept failure on the path to achieving what I dream of?

Continue your calm breathing.

Small smile.

It's quite fine if you're not that willing to accept that feeling of failure.

But just see if you can be open to it.

Today's failure is tomorrow's success,

Right?

So still continuing the easy,

Calm breathing.

Just use your inner eyes to create some images from a past experience that you would categorize as failure.

Make sure you don't choose anything that's too heavy,

Too emotionally heavy.

Choose something which was awkward,

Something that was not comfortable.

Just while you see those images and revisit those emotions,

Just continue the slow breathing.

Keep that smile on your lips,

In your eyes.

And then notice how this following sentence fits you.

I will not let past failures decide my future.

I will not let past failures decide my future.

Still breathing,

Smile on your lips,

Smile in your eyes,

Calm body,

Mind,

Soul.

Everything is good.

Everything is okay.

Everything is safe.

And this might be difficult to start with.

Everything has to do with repetition.

Just repeating it,

Accepting that certain things will take more time in order to be comfortable around it,

Be comfortable around failure.

Embrace failure.

You can just slowly open your eyes again,

Maybe move the body,

Stretch the body if necessary.

It's not that easy in this car.

Okay,

So you probably get where I'm going at or what I'm getting at.

We have the line which I've been talking about the past two days where you can be below the line in victim,

Villain or hero.

That is,

It's inevitable.

You know,

It's inevitable contracting and feeling either one of these different roles.

But what we can do is to challenge it,

Go above the line,

Go from victim into creator,

Go from villain into challenger and from the hero into the coach to the support.

So just looking at my day to day,

I did contract several times,

But I didn't let that and my past failures decide what was going to happen today.

I held on to this session,

Complete failure from a live event perspective.

Glad that I'm recording this and being able to use it as material for the sound version on my Insight Timer profile.

So it's difficult to embrace failure because the contraction feels uncomfortable.

The cortisol,

The heat,

The dry mouth,

Everything feels uncomfortable,

But it's only a temporary feeling.

If we allow it to arise,

If we allow it to disappear,

We are still here with our dream,

With our wish.

That will not disappear.

The uncomfortable emotion will disappear.

It might take a couple of minutes and with practice,

With more meditation and mindfulness,

Welcome-ness,

It will disappear even faster.

So practicing this again and again,

Accepting that repetition is the mother of skill,

Will enable us to experience contraction and experience expansions.

And with time,

Letting go of,

You know,

Labeling it a success or failure.

At the end of the day,

What is success?

What is failure?

It's just experiences,

It's words that we put on different emotions,

Different self-images.

No matter where I go,

Here I am.

No matter what time it is,

Here I am.

No matter what day it is,

Here I am.

So that I is the one that's here all the time.

That doesn't go anywhere.

Emotions come and go,

Years come and go,

Self-images come and go,

Jobs come and go.

That I is still here.

So let's do the second set of meditation.

And after that set,

I'll do the round off.

So today we'll just do two sets.

The three sets are usually when I spend an hour,

Use an hour.

And the car is getting a bit cold now.

So let's get comfortable.

You can decide to close your eyes or keep them open.

And I have a particular deep love for Ram Dass.

If you don't know Ram Dass,

I definitely recommend you to look him up.

Either on YouTube or just googling him.

Or actually there's also some different meditations with him on Inside Timer.

He is not alive physically any longer,

But very much so spiritually.

And very much so in my heart.

So the meditation here is going to be very much inspired by him.

Let's just notice our breathing.

Not being busy with not thinking,

Not feeling.

Just being with what is.

Notice the calm breathing in breath,

Out breath.

Thoughts will arise and disappear.

Emotions will arise and disappear.

Body sensations will arise and disappear.

One after the other.

One after the other.

Just notice that I inside of you,

That is the main awareness.

That awareness which is with the breathing,

With the sounds,

Smells,

Tastes,

Sensations.

Just notice that I.

And either with your inner voice or out loud or whispering,

Just hear yourself say,

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

I am the main awareness.

Just continue repeating that sentence,

I am the main awareness inside of you.

Okay,

Let's take a deep breath and get ready to finish off this session.

So what's super important is that,

That I which is the main awareness.

You cannot add anything to that,

You cannot take anything away from that.

That is the main awareness.

And that's it.

And just continuing being that main awareness and just experiencing the contractions and expansions.

The happiness,

The joy,

The sorrow,

The pain,

Everything,

Just experiencing it.

Just being with it,

Enjoying it.

The aliveness of it,

Not the pain,

Not the sorrow,

Not the good or the bad,

But just the aliveness of it.

Being alive and being the experience of aliveness.

How can we ever feel from that?

That's the place.

Thank you so much for indulging,

Not indulging,

It's not the right word,

Enduring me.

Thank you so much for being here with me and I definitely hope that this creates some kind of reflection,

Looking at your own life,

How you deal with failure or fear of any sort that might prevent you from doing what you want to do.

And since you're here on Inside Timer,

I'm quite sure that you're here because you have a good heart,

You want to make a difference.

Don't let the past,

Don't let the fear,

The anxiety,

The fear of failure in particular,

Stand in the way of that.

Practice,

Practice,

Practice,

Repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat.

So that you can become comfortable failing.

Become comfortable being uncomfortable.

Thank you so much.

Tomorrow is day 4.

I'm going to be home.

It's going to be a live event with video.

So look forward to that.

Thank you so much.

Bye bye.

Reviews

I needed this message tonight. Day 31 of 3day. Nice meditations also.

Listening to him fail was so much better than a lecture on failing. We listen to him accept that he isn't broadcasting live and gain strength from it.