Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Freewell podcast.
We are obviously doing a thing because we are in a different location right now.
And yeah,
We're just kind of making do with what we have.
I have my partner's microphone and not my own microphone,
Which I will be honest with you,
Not thrilled about,
But.
It's probably honestly better for the situation that I find myself in,
But yeah.
So today's episode is going to be an interesting one because it is a message.
For all of you.
But it is also a really big message for me.
And that message is.
.
.
It is imperative that you rest.
It is imperative that you rest.
And that can also be known as you've got to calm the fuck down.
Where I'm at right now,
Like physically,
Like the location that I'm in.
There are some logistical.
.
.
Things going on here that kind of make it hard to work.
So I've been here for A little bit under a week now and I come here every year around this time mostly to escape the heat because we just recently had a heatwave in Europe I think kind of everywhere,
But yeah,
It was 40 degrees back home and it was just torture And so it's nice to be in a situation where it's fresher not fresh necessarily,
But certainly fresher It's a huge reason why I come here,
Because of the weather.
A little bit to get away,
A little bit to just kind of escape the heat.
Also for Mila,
Because 40 degrees when you're wearing a fur coat is not,
You know,
A lot of fun.
And so it's been.
.
.
Nice to be here,
But because of like some logistical things in terms of the organization of the house,
The size of it,
The fact that it doesn't have a desk,
The fact that,
You know,
I've been like working from the ground and literally like working like I am now,
I'm sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat.
Um,
And I've been working pretty much the exact same way.
And like,
That's been fun,
But it's also been challenging physically to like sit up like this.
And I have a tendency to not sleep well when I'm not sleeping in my own bed.
So there's also,
So there's a lot of factors coming in.
To play here and I had a lot of things that I wanted to do while I was up here.
One of them is this,
Which luckily I am now sitting here doing.
Hey,
Hi,
What's up?
But I wanted to do more and I had plans to do specific things while I was here.
I wanted to run a challenge while I was here,
Like a five day mindset challenge and I wanted to just get a lot of things done in addition to like working with clients and stuff like that.
And part of the reason why.
I haven't been able to do that is because we had some like logistical kind of issues when we were trying to figure out when we'd be coming here and I just didn't have enough notice.
Ahead of getting here to be able to do those things.
And then I signed a lot of clients.
So I've got more on the go and I was working more hours,
Which is ironic cause I'm coming up here to rest,
But I'm working more than I'm normally working.
And uh,
Yeah,
There's just like a lot of things happening.
And so I found myself feeling stressed and so much pressure because coherence is so important for me.
It is like congruence.
It is fundamental.
I would argue that it's probably one of my like values.
I think that if I had to say what it was,
I wouldn't call it congruence.
I'd probably call it fairness.
Like I just think that things need to be fair and you need to do what you say you're going to do.
And it doesn't matter who you're saying that thing to.
In this case,
I only ever said it to myself that I needed to do that thing because I wanted to do that thing.
It doesn't have to be for someone else,
But also for,
You know,
The people who listen to the podcast and follow along with me,
Right?
Like that's,
That's also a huge reason of why I wanted to do that.
And I just felt like I really didn't get,
What I wanted to do done.
Ends.
I don't love that,
Obviously.
Who does?
Who does?
But I'm feeling the stress.
I'm feeling this pressure.
I'm feeling this like frantic and frenetic energy.
I'm physically just like uncomfortable because I've been sitting in weird positions while I've been working.
There's just a lot going on.
And so like.
When you're in that space of I would say I'm probably a little bit overwrought.
I feel.
Typically anxious in my body.
I think that's where it kind of stems from.
And I've been physically uncomfortable for the last couple of days.
And so the more that I become physically uncomfortable,
The more that I feel anxious,
Essentially,
It's like this feedback loop for me.
And I wouldn't say that I am actually anxious anymore because I don't feel that at all.
But that has been the result of feeling like this kind of physical discomfort.
And so like,
That is like ramping up the stress,
Ramping up the pressure,
Creating this frenetic and frantic energy that's just like getting me nowhere and helping no one.
Okay.
And like,
Here's the thing.
If you're in that energy right now,
If you're in that space where you're just like pushing and striving and forcing and you're feeling frantic and you're feeling frenetic and you try to do the thing anyways,
You try to do the thing without coming down first or without having that kind of aha moment.
So like I'm here having this conversation with you because I had the aha moment.
Then all you're going to create is some kind of like low key frantic and frenetic product.
It doesn't matter what it is.
I'm not talking about something physical,
But whatever it is that you're doing from that energy,
It's impossible for you to expect that whatever you create from that space is going to be anything other than the energy that you have poured directly into it.
Okay,
I'm looking at my notes,
Guys,
Because I'm tired and my memory is not what it should be or what it usually is,
Okay?
So,
Like,
Really,
If you do move from that space,
What kind of results do you think you're going to get?
Like,
It's not going to be what you want it to be.
It's not going to be what you had intended it to be,
Necessarily,
Unless you take the time to kind of clear the space.
And make it something else,
Like shift it,
Transmute it and stuff like that,
Okay?
Because even with the best laid intentions and the best laid plans okay that does not necessarily mean that you are able to control everything and sometimes the best decision that we can possibly make is literally just to unclench our fists let go and let God throw our hands in the air and say,
Jesus,
Take the wheel and just kind of let things go.
So like,
It's ironic because I'm here having this conversation with you because I finally just kind of took my foot off the brake and was like,
Okay,
Well I can't do this.
I need to stop and I need to calm down.
And then as soon as I stopped and calm down,
The idea for all of this came through and here I am recording it now.
And it's just,
It always works that way.
It always works that way.
At least for me,
Like the more that I'm bumping up against something,
The more that I'm pushing up against this boulder that's in my path,
This thing that's getting in my way,
The more that I'm fighting against it and I'm trying to move through it and I'm trying to force my way over it or whatever it might be,
The more it fights back.
It's almost like the more I push against the boulder,
The bigger the boulder gets.
Instead of just like.
.
.
Letting go completely.
Sitting down.
Leaning your back against the boulder.
Having a sort of come to Jesus moment with yourself,
Like having a moment where you're like,
Okay.
Pushing isn't working.
This isn't getting me where I want to go,
Now what?
Right?
Now what?
And I think that that's what I was doing.
For the last couple of days because I've been,
I'm genuinely really busy and I'm not saying that as a badge of honor,
Honestly.
I would have rather have done things differently but it worked out this way.
So it is what it is.
But I was genuinely busier than I normally am in the last couple of days.
Didn't necessarily have the time to organize myself better because I was doing so much with clients this week,
Which is such a blessing.
Like,
Thank you.
Thank you.
Such a good thing.
Such a good like problem to have.
It's not a problem.
Um,
But it did have like this impact on me.
And so like when I finally stopped,
When I finally took the time to say,
Okay,
No,
There's no point in pushing up against this anymore.
I'm just going to like lean up against the boulder and take a break.
That's when everything kind of shifted.
And I'm not saying please for the love of all things holy,
I'm not saying to rest because you need to be productive.
Productivity is a natural byproduct of rest.
It's normal.
When you rest,
Rejuvenate,
Refresh,
You automatically come back invigorated and ready to do the thing.
But that is not the reason why you should rest.
You should rest because it's God-given right it's like part of what we need to do as humans in order to be well like it's not it's not a bad thing bargaining chip for productivity.
Okay?
And I don't want to make it seem like it should be or like it is.
And I am grateful that when I stopped,
I had this idea and I'm here having this conversation with you because I always want the podcast episodes to be inspired.
But I didn't decide to rest so that I could do the podcast episode.
Did I hope that that would happen?
Yeah,
Did I think it would happen this fast?
No,
Because it was literally,
Literally the minute that I said,
Fuck it.
Took all the pressure off and I was like,
I'm not doing this.
I'm just going to rest.
This is what needs to be done.
This is what needs to be said.
And it was like,
All of a sudden it's like,
I'm having this conversation with myself and it's like,
Holy shit,
Like I need to turn this into an episode.
So let me share my notes with you,
In fact.
Um.
.
.
Like,
Yeah,
It's okay.
So I'm just going to read some of this actually,
Which I never do.
But today is that day.
Today's that kind of day.
We're doing things differently here.
Um,
Sometimes we have the best intentions and the best lead plans and we tend to like focus on those plans and kind of push through with them come hell or high water.
But like at the end of the day,
What we actually need to do is just kind of say,
Fuck the plan,
Throw our hands up in the air and just surrender and release and let it go and see what unfolds because If you are a spiritual person,
You believe in God or a higher power or Buddha,
Allah,
Whatever,
Or the universe,
It doesn't really matter.
I don't care.
I really don't.
Whatever floats your boat,
Whatever it is that you believe in,
Like if you.
.
.
Really have faith in something bigger than you,
Then you know that you are never going to be,
You're never going to fall.
You're never going to be alone.
You're never going to be going through things by yourself.
So it's okay.
And it's safe for you to let go because when you let go,
That's when the divine can help you.
Reach out his hands to you.
That's when God speaks to you.
That's when you get the hit or the divine message of how to move forward,
Right?
It's in those moments of quiet and surrender.
That we really get.
The messages that we need to hear.
It's not by pushing,
Striving,
Enforcing.
And you know this,
We all know this,
We talk about this on the podcast all the time,
Right?
So the point here is that you do not,
In these instances,
Need to do more.
Really just so not the solution here,
Okay?
You need to live more.
You need to feel more.
You need to relax more.
You know,
I'm looking at my phone because I'm tired of looking sideways at the computer.
It's just not a vibe.
Yeah,
You need to live more,
You need to.
.
.
Allow yourself to have this like human experience and you need to be really okay with the fact that you are a human.
You're not going to be ultra productive all the time.
You're not always going to make something that's wonderful.
Like.
I can feel already that like as good as this podcast episode is gonna be it's not the best episode because I'm tired because I'm having a human experience of working a lot and being here and,
You know,
Not sleeping in my own bed and whatever it might be like,
That's okay.
That's okay.
And like,
We're just doing the best that we can and we're showing up.
But it was when I decided to live,
Let go,
And rest that this all came to me,
Right?
This idea presented itself to me.
And like,
You also really need to be super honest with yourself here.
Witches.
I mean,
Just really,
It's never easy is it?
You have to be honest with yourself because if you're not doing something,
So like for example,
I was not.
Recording an episode of the podcast.
I was not.
Working on a new program that I've been like toying around with.
I was not even really engaging in like any kind of reflection.
I was honestly reading a book.
I have it like right in front of me.
Behind the camera,
Literally.
But when you're not doing the thing,
There is always a reason why.
And it is going to be somehow connected to the idea that you don't really want to be doing the thing.
And I can hear you already saying,
No,
But wait,
There's this.
And like,
I had this and Susie had to be taken to soccer.
And my boss was telling me this at work and my coworker was doing this and my husband and my partner and my girlfriend and my dog and whatever it is like,
You know,
There's like a million reasons and like,
Okay,
Yes.
And.
I wasn't doing the podcast because I didn't feel inspired to do the podcast.
I didn't feel called to it.
And I was pushing and pushing and pushing against that idea instead of just letting it flow.
And the minute that I let go,
It came to me.
But like,
If I'm not doing it,
It's because I don't want to,
Because I don't want to ever do this uninspired.
I don't ever want to do this when I don't have something really fucking valuable to say,
I am not here to waste your time,
Period.
I am not.
So like,
I'm only going to do this if I really feel like what I'm saying is going to have some kind of positive impact or if it's relevant somehow.
And so there is no point in me forcing.
We're not releasing the podcast every week just because we're not playing the content game.
We're doing something that adds value.
So like I didn't have something valuable to say prior to this and so I wasn't doing the thing and that's the reason why.
Cause I didn't want to do the thing if I don't have something valuable to say.
That's my,
That's my value.
That's my thing.
Having a mic here when I like touch my neck this often is obviously like a really bad idea.
Okay.
Because maybe it's like,
You're not you don't actually want to do the thing or you're not in the right space to do the thing or you're not in the right mental like zone or you don't have the right energy to do the thing whatever it might be but you need to be honest with yourself about why you're not doing the thing because in the meantime while you are potentially punishing yourself and stressing yourself out and putting pressure on yourself and pushing forcing striving and really going up against that boulder and really not getting anywhere and really not moving where you want to be it would just be so much easier and everything would shift in in a second if you were just really honest about why.
So stop forcing the thing to happen because everything will unfold when it's meant to,
Which is what I kind of said about.
.
.
About the universe and God and all of that.
And like in the meantime,
Can we all just like calm the fuck down for a second?
And I mean that like really quite seriously.
Like,
Can we please calm the fuck down?
Like quit it with the pressure,
Quit it with the striving and the forcing and the thinking that you need to be at point B when you're at point A or worse,
Worse in today's society,
Probably thinking that you need to be at point M when you're at point A,
Like be where you are,
Feel what you're feeling,
Be present with all that's happening.
And then,
As soon as you do that,
That is what's going to unlock it for you.
That's what unlocks the next step.
That's what moves you in the direction of the thing that you say that you want.
It's not the forcing that gets you there.
And again,
Go back to what I said at the beginning.
If it is,
Think about what the energy is going to be like when you actually do get there.
Is that what you want?
If you are striving and forcing and pushing,
You are going to get there by force and you are going to have to force yourself to stay there.
And that just sounds like a whole fuck ton of effort that we really don't need to be doing.
Putting in or expending,
To be honest with you.
Why?
For what purpose,
Right?
So like just literally let go,
Surrender,
Breathe.
Okay?
The harder you grasp onto this,
Whatever this thing is for you,
Whatever the thing is for you,
The harder that you grasp onto it,
The more complicated it all becomes.
Okay?
Because it really does no good for you to move in that direction with that energy because the results that you're looking for aren't on the other side of that behavior.
What I mean by that is like the harder that you're holding on to this and that you're forcing it and you're trying to make it happen,
The results that you're looking to get,
You're not going to find them on the other side of force.
You're going to find them on the other side of peace.
Relaxation,
Rest.
Compassion,
Love,
And understanding for yourself,
Taking care of yourself.
Taking the break,
Right?
That's where the results that you're looking for.
Are actually hiding.
They're hiding in the embodying the energy of what it is that you think you will receive when you get to this mystical magical point of doing the thing like once you've done the thing.
Whatever the thing is,
Let's take my example.
Once I'm done this podcast episode.
How do I think I'm going to feel?
I'm gonna feel relaxed.
A sense of completion probably.
I'm going to feel.
.
.
Maybe proud of myself for having done that.
So I can tap into all of those feelings right now and I can reverse engineer that sensation that I'm searching for by doing the thing.
And by doing that,
By reverse engineering the process,
It'll help me get there faster.
And it'll help me.
Kind of get.
The energy.
In order to actually show up and do that thing.
Does that make sense?
Okay,
I'm leaving you here,
Because this episode has been long enough.
And I can tell that I'm tired,
And I'm having a hard time remembering maybe even the things that I'm saying,
Which I normally don't do.
I normally,
I'm like on it,
And take way fewer notes than I did,
But I'm actually really grateful I had my notes today.
There's a first time for everything,
Guys.
So the point here is Jesus,
Take the wheel.
I mean,
Really,
That's kind of it.
Like calm the fuck down and Jesus,
Take the wheel,
Right?
Surrender.
We don't need to be pushing,
Forcing,
Striving.
All good things come in time.
The best things are going to come when you let go,
When you unclench your fists.
Okay?
And you let things flow to you.
When you give up the fight,
And I know that sounds like.
.
.
I know that sounds however it sounds,
But really.
That's kind of it,
Isn't it too?
Like the best things are going to come to you when you stop fighting for them.
Because.
.
.
You are meant for good things.
The universe,
God.
All of that good stuff,
Wants you to have good things.
You are meant to live a beautiful life.
You are meant to have a positive impact in the world in whatever way.
Shape or form that looks like for you.
And it's not going to come on the other side of browbeating yourself into doing something.
It just isn't.
That's just not the thing.
It just isn't.
So love yourself instead.
Cause like,
What's the alternative?
I say that often now actually,
That's maybe a new thing I should hashtag that or turn it into a trademark.
What is the alternative?
Of if you decide to keep doing this like putting pressure on yourself forcing yourself to move forward or kind of showing up in that way.
Wouldn't it be easier to love yourself?
Wouldn't that be a much more fulfilling and enjoyable and uplifting experience than Punishing yourself for not doing what you think you're supposed to be doing most likely by the way And I will add this as an asterisk on this most likely by someone else's standards Because a lot of the things that we're working towards,
And myself included,
They come from goalposts that somebody else put in place for us.
Not necessarily something that we're choosing.
And then there are moments where life gets in the way.
And things don't unfold the way we do,
But if we hold on to the plan,
Like I said earlier,
If we hold on to the plan with that kind of death grip,
It's still not going to get us where we want to go.
Sometimes the plan changed because the plan needed to change.
So maybe now wasn't the time to do the challenge on my end.
Maybe now isn't the time to think about the course.
Maybe the course is going to come to me in a dream or I'm just going to like,
That sounded really,
Really woo woo,
But whatever.
I mean,
I do believe it,
But it just sounded like.
I don't know,
That wasn't a really grounded example,
But maybe it'll come to me when I'm in the shower.
Do you ever notice that?
Like all your best ideas come to you in the shower?
Cause like that definitely happens to me.
So like maybe it'll come to you in the shower.
Like maybe it'll be.
Maybe it'll be completely unexpected and then most likely completely better than you expected because you just let it be what it was meant to be instead of forcing it to be something different or forcing yourself to do it in a specific time on a on a specific date you know what I mean like that's not a thing and that's one of the reasons why As much as I would love the podcast to be weekly,
When I have weekly ideas or when I have massive downloads and I do like a huge recording of podcasts,
Then okay,
That's great.
But I am not going to just show up here to spam all of you with more content.
That's what everyone else is doing.
And frankly,
Frankly,
I do not want to be like everyone else because I don't think everyone else is awesome necessarily.
I want to be me and I want to do what I want to do.
Also because I spent a lot of time following some like,
Arbitrary plan of how things should be based on what someone else thinks is cracked and it never worked for me So there's no point in doing that And then also because like this is this is the truth like well what I'm doing here now Especially in the last like five minutes,
I would say what I'm doing now,
Like this is the truth.
This is like me pouring my heart out to you,
Me inviting you into my lived experience,
Me opening up the door and saying,
Hey,
This is my messy house with the things that don't necessarily work or don't necessarily look the way I want them to.
Or this is something that I'm struggling with right now because Hey,
I'm a coach and I'm great at what I do,
But I also am human and this is the reality of humanity,
Right?
And I would prefer that every single day to being some,
Pre-recorded,
Pre-programmed sort of whatever.
That's not the thing.
Y'all know that's not the thing.
Cause you wouldn't be here if that was the thing.
If that was your thing,
You would not be here.
You're here because if this resonates with you,
It's cause this is probably your thing too.
You're probably not into the prefabricated and whatever.
Not that it's not great.
Not that we don't love to look at it.
I love me some curated content,
But like I can't,
That's not me.
So it is what it is.
Um,
In another lifetime I will be,
Um,
A better influencer.
I'm not an influencer now,
But.
.
.
You know.
Anyways,
Okay.
I digress.
It has been an absolute joy and a pleasure to be here with you.
Thank you so much for listening.
Okay.
If you love this episode,
Please follow me here on insight timer.
I would love to connect with you more.
Um,
If you follow along,
You'll get notified of when there's new episodes,
When lives are coming out.
And if you'd like to dive in a little bit deeper,
You can follow me,
Uh,
Or you can join,
Sorry,
My group here on insight timer,
Which is the wild free well space where I share personal stories.
I go even deeper than I do here on the podcast and you can comment and Chat with me and it just would mean the world to me to have that kind of conversation with you and to be in Communion with you.
So if that's something that speaks to you,
Then you can find me there And until then,
I hope you have the best weekend and I will see you on the next episode of the podcast.
Ciao.
