The Magic Of Doing (How To Move Through Overwhelm)

In this episode, I chat about the power of just doing and showing up. Wherever you're holding yourself back you're actually denying yourself of your own ability to move the needle forward and you're denying the world your magic. We need you. This episode will give you the tips, inspiration and confidence to move forward towards what you really want.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Wild Free Will podcast. I am here with another episode and today I want to talk about how to move forward with anything that you're working towards. I think that when we're working towards something that feels really big or really important to us we tend to get a little bit tripped up and maybe caught in this like cycle of like overwhelmed thinking and kind of letting our thoughts spiral and really not moving into a place of taking action just because we're not sure what we need to do or what order we need to do it in or there's a million other things that we're we're often telling ourselves about like why we can't. And then of course there's the emotional side of things so all the reasons why we can't because of how we feel about what we're doing and how we feel about ourselves. So maybe we think that this thing is is too big or it's too important or we're not good enough or you know nobody cares what I think or you know who's going to hire me who's going to give me that promotion whatever whatever the thing is. And this is such an interesting episode because the the idea of this actually came up in the doing of this podcast. So what I mean by that is so often we get tripped up on like how to do something and we're you know we're worried about like the steps that it takes and we're worried about like how well we'll do it and we want to be perfect right away and we forget that the improvement and the magic is just simply in the doing. So I think that I am on episode six or seven of the podcast of doing it consistently and this is something I've talked about a little bit on recent podcasts but this is such a big deal for me and I know that that sounds like silly because it's like well you're a coach you you deal with this stuff all the time you deal with these mindset things with clients all the time and like it's true I do but I also deal with them within myself and I've had the podcast since I want to say either late 2018 or early 2019 I'm not totally sure exactly when I started so going on four or five years wow sometimes saying those things out loud is like whoa but yeah four or five years I guess and I just wasn't able to be consistent with it because I was so in my head about everything about how to do the podcast and when to record it and when to publish it and how to tell people about it and whether or not people were going to like what I said or if I was going to get like you know negative feedback or like what do I have to say and why should I say it and who am I to be saying any of these things and there was just so much going on just so many stories so many limiting beliefs and yeah like I'm here to kind of offer a soothing balm to those stories that you're telling yourself if you find yourself in a similar position and and this can be about anything it can be about you know like trying to find a relationship and just kind of feeling like you're not really good enough or trying to apply for a new position or a promotion within your current position and just feeling like again this idea that you're not good enough or maybe not being totally clear on the steps I know that late last year I worked with a client who was looking for a new job and he was just in such a state of overwhelm that he wasn't able to see the steps clearly and it was just kind of like consistently spiraling out of control and so how do we deal with things when we're in those situations and I'm going to give you some advice that I think is counterintuitive to what you might expect from like a mindset perspective but it's not to sit there and think some more about it and it is not to schedule and it is not to come up with the perfect plan or the perfect way to execute whatever it is that you're working on it is literally just to do it which is the single worst advice it's like such a pill to swallow when you're feeling overwhelmed it's like kind of like screw you Alessia like yeah you just do it like you know what I mean it's kind of like well it's not that simple because if it was that simple I'd already be doing it and actually it really is exactly that it is so simple that we don't even think about doing it that way because humans love to complicate things we love drama all of us even those who say that they don't and I have been one of those women that for like years was like yeah I'm like not into drama and I'm not into gossip for sure but I think we all like to kind of have those moments of like crisis to a certain extent because it gives us something to say because these kinds of like crises and the drama and the story is the way that we connect with people I actually have another podcast episode about this called don't like why you need to stop bonding with people over complaining because it is like one of the main ways that we interact with people is by having these stories of like oh you know work is so hard and life is so hard and like raising kids is so hard and getting this job is so hard and like whatever whatever story it is that we're telling ourselves and then adding like so hard and it actually isn't so hard but we're so fucking scared that we're afraid to do anything about it and so instead of taking a step a tiny step like not even a step like an inch forward okay instead of taking that inch forward we are choosing to actively sit in this kind of like self-imposed pity party that we're having about how and why everything is so hard but you will only get better and it will only get easier if you stop whining I'm sorry like real talk hard truth hard conversation if you stop whining about it and if you actually just do it and I say this as somebody who spent many years let's say four more or less whining about how hard the podcast was and how I didn't know what to say and I know who was going to listen to it and like who cares what I think anyways and I still think that like who cares what I think who am I I am no better than you I'm no farther along than you necessarily like we're all just walking our own path and I am just sharing my my opinion and my views and and the strategies that worked for me and that have worked for my clients but who am I I'm nobody and like you can take everything that I say with a grain of salt and some of the stuff I share might save your life and it might make things better and other episodes might be total bullshit or every episode might be total bullshit for you like that's totally fine too so it is all of those things that I felt the feeling of not being good enough all the questions that I have and the kind of limiting beliefs I think that they're still there to a certain extent I don't think that I've eliminated them I think that they still pop up every once in a while the main difference is that I am just not here for giving them air time so those thoughts might come up and I might feel them every once in a while but I'm not focusing on them and I'm not feeding them and I am not giving them any space to spiral so like I might have a conversation like you know who cares what I think and I think it every time I post this episode like post an episode because like I said who am I I'm nobody I'm the same as you so why does it matter and just because that is true does not also like doesn't mean that it's not also valuable which is one of the great paradoxes of life like life is so full of duality right like it's like this idea that like you are such a special flower you are so unique and at the same time we are all one and you are just like everybody else and both of those things are so incredibly true do you know what I mean like you are so important and one person can make a difference in the world and at the same time in the grand scheme of the design of the universe you are completely insignificant you are just this tiny person floating on a planet floating in a galaxy right and all of those things are true at the same time so why can't it be true that I feel maybe nervous about sharing something or nervous about working on the podcast and at the same time me doing so can have value for other people okay and me thinking like oh you know I don't really have anything to say or you know I'm not I'm not good enough and it's not even up to me to decide that because someone else might be thinking wow this is the best thing I've ever heard I hope somebody's thinking that but I'm definitely not gonna I'm definitely not gonna like necessarily bet on that and it's okay if they don't too because like I'm at that place where these thoughts are coming up and they're floating and I'm just kind of like cool you're there and thank you for trying to keep me safe but like you're not serving me anymore and showing up like getting back into this idea of like the magic comes from the doing and like improvement comes from doing showing up every week for the last like six or seven weeks has made showing up so much easier because now I've built this habit like I know when I record the podcast and it's not necessarily at the same time all the time but I know that I'm doing it I know that I've made the commitment to myself that in 2023 I want to release an episode every Friday and so I'm doing that and like there's so much more to it too because as you show up over time you learn new ways better ways of doing things and you just naturally improve and more importantly you relax into the process and you just naturally get better because what you're doing over time becomes more and more natural right it's like that idea of like driving a car like when you're 16 you're learning to drive a car and you're behind the wheel for the first time it is like sensory overload you're paying attention to like everything at once and you're maybe a little bit stressed maybe your heart is racing and all of these things are happening like on a very physiological level and like if you try to think back to that moment I would be willing to bet that you have a hard time even conjuring those feelings in your body now especially if you've been driving for like a really long time because driving now is just second nature like how many times do you get in your car and you leave from work to go home and then all of a sudden you're at your house and you're like how the hell did I get here like I literally don't remember any part of the trip and that's like a little bit scary it's happened to all of us but but it's also because driving has become so automatic and that can only come from you doing it all the time from you practicing from you showing up from you building that habit and that muscle of just doing it so like again we can complicate things all we want and we can come up with a million reasons and a million excuses why we can't do something or why we shouldn't do something they will always be there if you want to find a problem or you want to find an excuse or a reason why you can't do something you will absolutely find it because your brain is a computer and it is trained literally to look for evidence of whatever it is that you're thinking so if you are looking for a reason why you don't deserve the promotion or why you'll never find love or why there's no good men out there or women or whatever or why like finding a house is so hard or why working on your mindset is so hard or why things never change for you or whatever it might be whatever your story is okay if you're looking for evidence about why it's hard you are going to find evidence and it's going to hold you back from just fucking doing it and the thing is is that it's just about doing it doing it once and then allowing yourself to to do it again or not do it again or stumbling and then picking yourself back up a really good example of this I think is the gym and like the way that we approach exercise so typically when we're talking about exercise a lot of people are like they come at it from not really a space of ever having exercised before and they're like I'm going to exercise three times per week forever starting now and I can tell you with great certainty that maybe one or two percent of the population is going to be capable of actually keeping up with that because you are riding just straight willpower and willpower especially in women is something that like it ebbs and flows so there are moments when you have more willpower moments that you don't have like where you don't have as much and it actually has a lot to do with magnesium intake and if you don't know anything about that I really recommend that you look it up because it blew my mind when I learned about it and it's a good reason why you should maybe be looking into magnesium supplements but that's a whole other episode a whole other ball of wax but we come at exercise with like this idea of like okay I'm going to go three times per week and I am going to just fucking kill it and it's going to be awesome and what that doesn't take into account is first off the very real aspect of life, Life gets in the way, Shit happens you know something comes up and you can't keep up with that and it also doesn't take into consideration like your actual physical body like your physiology because for example when we start working out obviously there's this onslaught of endorphins and your body begins to feel better but it also gets a little bit sore and if you're keeping up three times per week by the time the third week comes around you're probably feeling pretty tired and and there's nothing wrong with that because that's like the way your body is processing it doesn't mean that the work before wasn't worth it but it does mean that you need to listen to your body and so what happens when we do listen to our body and we take a break and we stop all of a sudden because we we interrupted this routine now we're not like you know it's not worth it anymore because like fuck it I you know I missed a day and so what is the point and like I've been there I think we've all been there in one way or another and maybe it wasn't with the gym maybe it was with something else but we've all been there one way or another where when we're not doing something consistently then all of a sudden we're like oh fuck it it's not worth it anymore and that's kind of something that we need to work on breaking and I and I think that that's also an episode for another time because I could really talk about just strategies for like overcoming this but it is something to keep in mind that when you need to take a break it's okay and if consistency is great but consistency for consistency's sake is not necessarily the most important thing the most important thing is definitely just showing up and then obviously of course always always listening to yourself and listening to yourself in a really wise way listening to what the story is like is it actually that you're too tired is it actually that you need to rest is it actually that you whatever or is it another limiting belief because for example even sitting down to record this episode today I'm feeling a little bit tired the weather was a little bit kind of gray this morning I was feeling a little bit sluggish so I chose to take some time and there's nothing wrong with that and I could have used all of those things like you know a little bit of sleepiness or weariness or whatever feeling a little bit kind of meh I could have used all of that as an excuse to not sit down and show up but like that wasn't going to ultimately serve me and it's not that I needed rest because I rested a little bit this morning because I needed that I knew that I did and I gave myself that so it's not that I needed rest it's that there was a little bit of resistance to showing up and like actually doing it and I know that I made a commitment to myself and to you all who are listening that I would show up and do this and I want to I want to be here so I sat down and I found a topic that I wanted to share from my heart because it was relevant obviously for me and what I'm going through but I think it's relevant in general because we all kind of struggle with just moving forward and like getting the thing done and it's because of the story that we're telling ourselves so just to recap the magic is in the doing and improvement comes from doing it comes from showing up so try to find a way to just do the darn thing whatever that thing might be and don't focus on the whole pie focus on just a piece right moving forward just an inch one small step at a time just moving in the direction that you want to go and not putting any pressure on yourself about how it has to be or anything like that and then if you do need a break at one point then allowing yourself to do that as well but really honoring why it is that you need that do you actually need a break or is there some kind of limiting belief coming up and remember that those limiting beliefs are not unique to you we all have them we are all like constantly talking to ourselves and we are it's often negative a lot of what we say to ourselves is actually quite mean honestly and so we all have that and just know that you're like not alone but know that you can move past it and those limiting beliefs can become something more of like an echo in the back of your mind like not like the predominant soundtrack that's running your life just by you showing up and doing what you know you need to do and what you want to do so yes I hope this episode was helpful if you liked it please leave a review or a rating or subscribe and all that good stuff and if you didn't like it you know do the same please and leave a comment or let me know what you thought and just the only thing I ask is that you try to be respectful and of course like keep your criticisms constructive but I would love to hear whatever is coming up for you like does what I say trigger you if so good I'm here for that I want you to be triggered because when you're triggered it's like drawing something up it's another limiting belief rearing its ugly head and I also want to be educated like I want to have really respectful and balanced conversations I don't think that's the right word but I want to have conversations where mutually beneficial conversations where we both bring our unique perspective because I think that's how we change and that's how we grow and I love having conversations with people who don't agree with me because I find like I always like learn more about myself and learn more about what I believe and learn more about the world and what other people are going through and what their experiences are so either way please share your opinion in a beautiful and respectful way and let's open up a conversation and dialogue about all of this stuff and if you're looking for more support I am currently accepting one-on-one clients I would love to have the opportunity to chat with you about what you're what you're working towards so you can feel free to reach out to me and there's actually a free 30-minute coaching call that you can take advantage of there's no strings attached I'm never going to pressure you into working with me I couldn't convince you if I could if I wanted to so like that's just not my vibe so if you're interested though I highly recommend that you take advantage of it and we can see what coaching can do for you and if I'm not a good fit then I can try to help you point try to point you sorry in the right direction with like suggestions of either other coaches or resources that might serve you so it's basically a win-win so yeah if that's something that you're interested in please let me know otherwise have the most beautiful weekend and I will see you on the next podcast

Reviews

Excellent! My husband and I just listened this morning and were greatly impressed and inspired by what you had to say. Bravo!

Beautiful and wise advice delivered with gentle and caring concern at perfect volume and tone. At just the right timing for me. ☮️🤍🙏