How To Choose The Right Life Coach For You

In this episode, I share a ton of questions that you can (and should!) ask yourself before hiring a coach. I break it down into different aspects of coaching like what kind of coach am I looking for, is this coach qualified to help me, how do they align with me and what options are there to work with them? I hope it helps you on your journey to finding the perfect coach for you! Please note this talk does contain adult language.

Transcript

Hello and happy Friday. Welcome back to the Wild, Free, Well podcast. I'm super excited to be here today. I want to just give a huge shout out to everybody who's listening and everyone who's left a review of the podcast. I really appreciate it. Last week, I actually got a review that was, I guess you could say it would be considered negative. But I so appreciate that this person took the time to share their opinion with me. It really made me realize that I want to be more mindful perhaps about the intention that I'm putting forth. I don't think that it landed well last week. And so I want to apologize to anybody who was offended or who felt that I was coming across as aggressive or arrogant in the previous podcast because that's just not my intention at all. But I really appreciate you guys taking the time to let me know what you think because it really gives me a chance to improve and make this a better safer space for all of us. So yeah, I'm really looking forward to continuing and improving and serving you guys even better, Which is exactly what I'm going to do today. Today, I am here with what I hope will be a sort of masterclass to help you choose a coach. I really want to talk about how to make the best decision for you and some questions you can ask yourself in order to find the right coach. So this might this episode might be a little bit longer, Just a fair warning, But I think that it will be really useful, Especially if you've never worked with a coach before and you're not familiar with this industry. So let's just talk really quickly about what a coach is. This is subjective because this industry is unregulated. It's not necessarily simple to pin that down and everybody has a different style, Which is a blessing because there's so many different people on the planet. It's actually better if we have multiple ways of helping people. So one of the things that you want to keep in mind is that coaching is basically someone guiding you on your journey forward. It is not about getting advice. Typically, You will not get advice from a coach unless you're working with a business coach, Which the lines between business coaching and consulting can be quite blurry because typically if you go to a business coach, You are actually looking for like advice on how to set up systems and strategies for your business. So getting advice there makes perfect sense. But if you're working with like a health coach or a wellness coach or a fitness coach or you're looking for working with somebody who's a life coach or a mindset coach, You're going to be working with somebody who is guiding you. So they're walking the path alongside you and they're helping you discover your truth by asking you really powerful questions. It will really be like a permission based relationship. So they will only offer suggestions or I suppose on the odd chance potentially give advice, But they will ask you first if that's okay. At least that's the sign of a good coach. It's really important that the entire relationship in coaching be guided and driven by the client, Not the coach, Which I think a lot of people don't realize. But the coach plays a role here of like guide. Yes, But guide in the sense of like keeping you on track, Keeping you on your path that you've described you want to take at the beginning of a series. So when you begin working with a coach, You set goals and the coach's job is to keep you on that path. So to stop you from straying, That's what I mean by guide, But they're not going to be telling you what you should be doing along the way that is up for you to describe to discover. Sorry. So let's get started into some questions that you can ask yourself when you're looking for a coach. So the first place to start is what kind of help am I really looking for? So there's a couple different sides to this. One will be do I need help with a specific topic or something more broad? So for example, Am I looking to lose 10 pounds versus feel more positively about myself? If you're looking to lose 10 pounds, That's probably going to be closer somewhere with maybe like fitness coaching or working with even a personal trainer, Or maybe it will include health coaching because obviously diet and exercise are really closely related. But if you're looking for a goal of like feeling more positively about yourself, That's probably something more along the lines of life coaching or mindset coaching. So the goal, The end result that you're looking for changes the type of coach that you're going to be working with. Another question to ask that's kind of along the same lines is am I looking to work on one specific area of my life or am I looking to work on multiple areas? Depending on the timeline that you choose to work with a coach. So if you're working with a coach for like a month, You're really only working on one goal because you don't really have a ton of time to focus on multiple areas. If you're working with a coach for three months or six months or even a year, And a year working with a coach is not very common. But if you are, Then you're usually working on multiple areas of your life. And so you're going to want to choose a coach that encompasses the widest variety, Excuse me, Sorry, That allows you to work on all of these areas at once, Right? So if you're looking to just improve your health or your fitness, Maybe working with like a nutritional coach or a health coach or a fitness coach again, Or somebody who's a combination of all of those things will help you. But if you're looking to change multiple areas of your life, Maybe once you get to the root of the problem, You'll realize that you're actually wanting to change your mindset in a lot of areas, Then you might want to work with a mindset coach or somebody who is a life coach who has maybe more expertise in multiple areas or has a broader range of expertise. Another thing to ask yourself is, Is my problem future focused or does it have roots in the past? And this is actually an ethical discussion because if your issue that you're wanting to improve or the area that you're wanting to improve has ties to past trauma or anything that happened in your past in your childhood or potentially with your family is going to be something that would be addressed with a therapist. Okay, If we're talking about the past, We're usually talking about therapy. If you're wanting to focus on the future, Being something like achieving a specific goal or working towards a specific outcome, That's probably going to be better served with a coach. Okay, So it's really important that you kind of decide what area that you want. And then the last sort of question in this like, What kind of help am I looking for is to more about personality. So what kind of personality do I have? And what kind of personality do I want my coach to have? So am I looking for somebody who will push and motivate me because I kind of need a kick in the ass? Or am I looking for somebody who will gently guide me towards where I want to be? I'll give you an example. I am not a gentle guide kind of person. What does that mean? It's not that I can't hold space. I absolutely do. I hold space with my clients and I'm very gentle with my words and in allowing your journey to unfold the way it's supposed to be. But I, I will call you out if you tell me like some bullshit. So if you feed me a story and I can hear that that is like, You know, Deeply rooted in a limiting belief, I'm going to call you out on that. Some people don't like to be called out. It can be very confrontational for them. And they want somebody who can kind of guide them to realize that on their own. I will do a combination of both. But if I keep hearing the same limiting belief come up over and over again, I'm going to say something to you. So that's really important too because for some people that would be really not like, I mean, Aggressive, Sure. But I feel like it would be really like confronting and they don't want that. So these are, This is the first section. What kind of help am I looking for? Specific topic or broad topic? Am I looking for to work on a specific area of my life or multiple areas? Is it rooted in the past or future focused? And what kind of personality do I want my coach to have? So let's move on to the next section, Which is what sort of qualifications do they have? And I want to preface this by saying that this is not strictly educational. So when I talk about qualifications, I don't mean just what kind of training do they have, But that's exactly where I'm going to start. So for some people, This is important. For others, It isn't because the coaching industry is unregulated. It is not necessary for someone to have any training in order to call themselves a coach. Someone can wake up tomorrow, Decide that they want to be a coach and call themselves a coach. And it's hunky dory because the coaching industry is new and it doesn't have like a governing body. There is the International Coaching Federation, Absolutely. And they are an important figure in the coaching community, But they don't have control over like a kind of calling out people who are coaching without a qualification. And does coaching without a qualification necessarily mean that someone is not capable of coaching? I would say no, It really is a matter of values. So it matters what's important to you. Is it important to you that your coach has a qualification? Is it important to you that they have training, That they're certified by somebody in order for them to work with you? That's something that you're going to have to decide. It's super personal. But let's get into other qualifications. I think that this is stuff that every coach should have and that you should be looking for as a client in order to ensure that you're hiring somebody that's a really good fit for you. So things like, Have they worked with people before? Okay, How many people have they worked with before? Have they shared other people's success stories? Do they have reviews? Do they have testimonials? Is there social proof, Social proof meaning, Do people share what they talk about? Do they share what they write? Are they spoken highly of? Okay. And also, Do they talk about the people that they're helping or working with? Are they actively in a space of coaching? Are they talking about the clients that they're working with? All of these things would be forms of qualifications, Especially in an unregulated industry. So this is all proof that your coach has experienced coaching and that people have achieved what they set out to achieve by working with this person. And then let's take it one step further. In reading the testimonials, Are you seeing people that sound like you? Do their problems sound like your problems? Do their kind of like areas that they were working on sound like the areas that you want to work on? Because that's going to be huge. If you can make that connection, It's going to be massive, Right? Because that will help show that you are the right client for this coach and this coach is potentially the right one for you. Okay, Let's move on to the next section. Are our values aligned? This is probably the second most important area to focus on because there's one more that I think is more important, But they're very, Very, Very closely tied. So are our values aligned? Does this person focus on and talk about things that matter to me? So are they talking about topics I am struggling with and that I want to improve? Are they talking about maybe even social issues or movements that are important to me? Do I feel connected with what this person is saying? When I read their material, Either on their website or on their social media pages or on their blog, Do I think, Holy shit, That sounds like me. Like, Do you feel that connection? Can you see that they have values that are similar to yours? And then the most important one out of this values area is do they talk about what I'm currently trying to work on or improve? So if you're looking for a coach, In theory, You'd have an idea of what area you want to work on. And so the question is, Is this coach that I'm currently kind of vetting to potentially be my coach, Are they talking about that area that I want to improve on? Because if they aren't, Potentially they're not the right coach for you. Because if you're looking at a health coach and you're seeing like maybe bits and pieces of yourself in their product and like what you want to like work on, But it doesn't feel 100%, Follow that because that means that maybe health coaching isn't the right option for you. Or maybe this coach at this particular stage in their journey isn't in alignment with you, But like a year or two years down the line, They might be, Right? It's not about the person or the coach. It's about you as a client and what you need and who you are right now. The next area that I would focus on is, And this is the one that I think is the most important is how does this person make me feel? It's so closely tied with values because if your values are aligned, Then they should make you feel really awesome. But really sink into this because this is going to be your intuition and your gut talking to you. So do I trust them? Do I feel connected to what they're saying? Do I feel a connection to them as a human being? Have I ever tried to connect with them one on one, Even online? Meaning have I commented on their Instagram posts or their blogs or their Facebook posts, Whatever it might be, YouTube videos, It doesn't matter. Have I commented on their content and received a comment like a response back? How did that make me feel? Have we had conversations via direct message? Have I reached out for a free consultation? Have I spoken with them before? And how did I feel in that moment when we were working together? This is so important because if you don't feel connected to the other person that you're going to be working with, There is a chance that you will not achieve your goals because you won't feel safe. You won't feel comfortable showing up to talk about difficult topics if you don't feel this way. Okay, So the last thing that I think is really important because we need to be realistic and this is more like a concrete sort of very worldly area to focus on, But what options do they have to work together? Okay, So is there a free consultation to see if we're a good fit? And if not, I really want you to ask yourself, Why doesn't this person offer that? It's really important. Why doesn't this person offer a free 15-20 minute half an hour chat where I can get to know them and they can get to know me and they can make sure that I'm a good fit as a client and I can make sure that they're a good fit as a coach and we can make sure that we really vibe well together. So I really encourage you to question that if it's something that's not being made available to you because it's something that is very important in the coaching process. Very, Very, Very important. And if it's paid, That's something that you need to ask yourself. If the consultation before you even choose to work with a coach is paid, You have to ask yourself, Is this something that I'm willing to invest in? Am I willing to make an investment in a conversation that may not lead to me hiring this coach? And if I make this investment, Will that make me feel obligated to then work with them? Because I think to myself, Well, Oh, I've already invested like X amount of dollars to have this conversation. Like I might as well just go all the way. Be careful. Okay. I want you to be really careful about this. And in all of this with the free consultation, I have obviously shared my opinion. It's for me a very important step both as a coach and as a client. But maybe this isn't an important step for you. So that's another question to ask yourself. Maybe this isn't something that you feel that you need. You just know that you want to work with this person. And if that's the case, Awesome. Get on with your bad self. You should definitely keep going and follow that feeling. Next question in what options do they have to work together? Can I afford to work with this person without putting myself in extraordinary debt? Hugely important. And there's two sides to this. Now, Coaching has a price and a premium and I support that. So someone is making a living. Someone is showing up and providing a service. Somebody is doing a job. Okay. And they deserve to be compensated for that. Sorry. There is massive value in working with a coach. And I will actually be sharing my experience with coaching throughout my journey in another podcast episode and blog so that you guys can dive into that as well and kind of hear firsthand what it's like to work with a coach. And maybe I'll even ask some of my past clients to come on and share something. That would be really cool. Wow. That's a neat idea. It just came to me. Sorry about that. Thinking out loud. But yeah, I think that there is value in working with a coach and I feel like coaches deserve to be compensated. That being said, I don't think anyone should ever, Ever, Ever have to go into massive debt in order to work with someone. And if the fee that's being asked is something that makes you uncomfortable, Not uncomfortable like I'm nervous to invest in myself because there is a difference between this is too much money and I'm afraid of investing in myself because maybe I don't feel worthy or because I'm just scared to make change or I'm scared to take the leap. There's two very distinct sides here. Okay. So if the price or the fee is challenging but doable, That's good fear. It means you're moving in the right direction. If the fee feels like impossible or you feel like you're going to have to do something like get another job or borrow money or take out a loan or get a PayPal payment plan or whatever it is in order to work with somebody, I would really encourage you to make sure that that person is the right person for you. Go through the questions that I've asked you earlier. Make sure that this is a good fit. I don't want you to barter on price because like I said, Coaching has a premium and it's worth it. You will achieve massive results if you show up with an open mind and an open heart and you're willing to be honest and do the work. You will have positive results. I can guarantee you whether you work with me or another coach, It doesn't matter. You will have positive results through coaching, But that doesn't mean that you should have to go into debt in order to achieve these results. Maybe that coach isn't the right coach for you for where you're at in your personal journey. Maybe eventually they will be, But maybe they aren't right now. And then along the same lines is do they offer payment plans to support me? So maybe you want to work with a coach and you see this price and you understand that it's doable, But maybe it's not doable in a lump sum. That's totally fine. Reach out and ask if they have payment plans. And a lot of coaches have payment plans like written right on their website that they have payment plans available. This should be advertised because in the world that we're living in, Payment plans are common for basically everything. Even credit cards offer payment plans now. So I really feel that it's something that coaching should be getting on board with. So yeah, See if that is an option for you if your coach offers that. And if they do, I think that's a step in the right direction. Even if their fee seems a little bit high, The fact that they're really willing to meet you halfway is a really good option. And then the last thing in this section for options to work together is are there any kinds of guarantees? What do I mean by that? I really want you to do your due diligence, Do your research and look into what their policies, What their refund policy, What their work together policy, What their guarantees are. Read through their facts. Ask any questions that you might have that you don't see already answered on their website because you deserve to go into this relationship with your eyes wide open and be able to get the most out of your time together. So a lot of coaches do not offer a refund policy. And I have to be honest with you, It's not something that I personally understand. So I think it's important to see what kind of refund policy they have and how that fits into your value system. Does it line up? Does it feel good? Right? So yeah, That's basically it. I'm going to go over everything really quickly. So the first thing to ask is what kind of help am I really looking for? And then go through the questions there. Ask what sort of qualifications do they have? Things like are they trained? Have they worked with people before? Do they share people's success stories? Is there any social proof? Are people talking about them and giving them accolades? What kind of proof is there that these guys have the talent and the capacity to hold space for me and to help me? Are our values aligned? Okay, So do they focus on and talk about the things that matter to me? And are they talking about what I want to currently improve? How does this person make me feel? Do I trust them? Do I feel connected to them? Okay. And what sort of options do they have to work together? Is there a free consult? Can I afford to work with them without putting myself into extraordinary debt? Do they offer payment plans? And are there any kinds of guarantees? So I would love to hear from you. I rarely put this kind of call to action back but, Or in the podcast, Sorry, But I would love to hear if you got value out of this. Have you ever worked with a coach before? What was your experience? And like, Yeah, Why did you love it? What sucked? What did you want to improve? Because all of this helps us get better, Right? Like, Constructive feedback and constructive criticism is massive. It's how we learn and it's how we grow and how we improve. And absolutely, I would love to hear everything. Have you ever considered working with a coach? And if you haven't pulled the trigger, What is holding you back? Oh, That's a good one. I would love, Love, Love to hear about your experience. And yeah, If you found this episode valuable, Like if you're looking for a coach right now, Is this, Did this help? Did this help you find the right coach for you? I hope it does. I really, Really do. If you have any questions for me, As always, You can find me on Instagram at Candace Alacia. You can find me on Facebook at Candace Alacia Coaching. Please feel free to reach out and chat with me about this or any other topic. You can even submit topics that you want me to riff on. I'd be so happy to answer any questions that you have or clear up any confusion about this topic or other topics. And yeah, In the meantime, I hope you have the most amazing weekend and that you just are soaking in the sunshine and enjoying the summer and yeah, Just have the best time. And I will see you next week with an all new episode. Bye.

Reviews

Great topic! This was my first listen to one of your talks. I appreciate how you presented the discussion with thoroughness, clarity, positivity, connectivity -- in short, your knowledge and obviously sincere enthusiasm shined through . You presented me with a lot to think about. Thank you!