Ep 1: Don't Interrupt Your Ideas

Join Barbara & Wenlin as they share BW No filter's origin story, why it's important not to interrupt your ideas, how to push beyond self-limiting beliefs to become a female changemaker, the #1 mistake most people make when manifesting, and the #1 thing you should be doing to manifest the life of your dreams.

Transcript

Welcome to BW No Filter with Barbara and Wenlin. Hi Wenlin, Hi everyone listening. Is Barbara here? Hey Barbara, It's Wenlin. Hey everyone who's tuning in. We are here for our usual No Filter sessions, Barbara and I. Barbara, What's been going on for you this week? What's going on? A lot is going on. Like, Life is going on, Projects are going on, And this particular project is going on and it's having me really curious. Why don't we tell the people what this is all about? This is our first episode and I like to take it like, You know, A pilot, Like these T programs have so we don't know what's going to happen here but for sure, We are going to have fun because this is what happens every time we meet and that's how it all started. Yeah, That sounds great. I mean, Looking back, I've been thinking a lot about this idea of like, Repel, Of reflecting back or going back or rewinding back to where we were before. And like, If we take that concept and we rewind like a few months back, It all started because like we met in Turin, Right? And then I think I organized like some digital entrepreneurs meeting and you came and then we connected and then we were at your place in Corio in the mountains. And later on, When you came to Torino, You said, Oh, Would you like to meet for breakfast? And then we met a couple of times at various cafes all around Turin. And then one day, You said, Oh, Shall we do something special? And would you like to tell the listeners what you suggested? Oh, Yeah, Well, Actually, I'm a very private person. And I don't like to talk until I find the right person to talk and then I cannot stop talking. So that was funny with Gwen Lynn because one day I went down the mountain and met people, Something that I don't do very often, But then there she was. And that's right. We started going to coffee. And the funny thing is that besides enjoying all the coffees in the brioche and every good Italian thing is that the conversations could take on and on like forever and ever. And they were always interesting. And what I realized is that, Okay, Every time we meet, We can talk endlessly, But not about just random things. Yes, They are random, But they are deep. And it's like we can extract from each other very interesting concepts. And the funny thing or the most interesting thing is that we are like polar opposites. So touching this point because VW, Which is our name or the name of this project podcast and everything else, Which stands for Barbara and Gwen Lynn, But also or particularly because of black and white, Just to make a point on how different we are and how different we approach things sometimes. But we have like the same basic, I don't know, Fundamentals and we want the same things, But I mean, We just connect in this, What we say many times, Like the yin yang way, You know? Definitely. I couldn't have said it better myself. And I like, It's hard to describe like how I felt. I think when we first met, It's almost like I felt some kind of invisible pull towards you, Like a magnet, Like the opposite edges of a magnet. And as you described, It's like black and white, Like you said, You're a very private person. I tend to be very extroverted and I love getting to know people. I'm fairly open and I'm always talking about other people's story. And this idea of like talking to each other. And also I love that you started to suggest that we speak for like extended periods of time without censoring ourselves. Like I had tried something like that from before called circling where that we are in a partnership, You and another person, And then each person takes about two to three minutes and you don't stop yourself. It's extreme of consciousness writing, But instead you're speaking and then the other person is just doing the work or the practice of active listening. And that's also an amazing practice as well, But to do it with you, You know, In a cafe outside, You know, Drinking coffee for like, I think once we did it each for like 30 minutes or even 40 minutes. And then it's like, Whoa, Like the things we ended up talking about and the insights that I managed to come up with that to help me solve, Like the struggles I had at that time or some mental blocks I had with my work. I don't even remember exactly what that was, But that was really powerful. Do you remember that time when we were, I think, Yeah, I remember. Yeah, We were freezing and I think we had like one hour each because, Yes, I'm like that no filters and just, I like the flow of, You know, Because I have it very hard sometimes to put concepts into specific words. And for me, I have learned from myself that I really need to not interrupt my ideas because sometimes they can take on like forever, Like, Hours, Days, Weeks, And I don't want to come to conclusions very soon because I know there is more to come. So I realize that this is not how it works normally, You know, You have to come to a conclusion very easily and in doing that, You're just responding more than reflecting. And when you respond, What happens in general is that you create the same habitual pattern and then it's very difficult to change or to come to, You know, Any novel idea or perspective or really understand and listen what is it that I'm really thinking about any topic. And I find this is very important and being a person who is mostly alone, I'm talking with myself all the time, But I realized that I have a lot of, You know, Internal filters. Many times I'm putting my ideas aside and I say, But I didn't want to put that idea aside. What was that? And I started to recognize that, Okay, This is, You know, I thought that I got from somebody else or why am I even thinking this is not working for me anymore? And so I think this goes back to the topic that you introduced to me earlier today about this rappel that you just mentioned, You know, Going back, Is it back and forth with yourself? And if we don't allow this time to really stop or let it out or whatever, How do we even know where we are standing, Where we were standing and then make some, I don't know, Decisions to move on or not? Yeah, For sure. And that's so powerful. And I really liked that you touched on this idea that it's almost like this voice is like self-limiting, Like when a thought arises or when a certain, Like a string of words come to play, It's almost as if immediately the mind forms a judgment on what you have just said, Or whether that was said well, Or whether that was like crazy or whether that is logical. And I like that, You know, Also that here together, I feel like our synergy and like this space to allow some thoughts and some words to exist freely on their own without any expectation of a specific outcome. This is what I also like, You know, Because for a long time, I think I adopt this approach of like being very purposeful with everything I do, Because I feel time is limited and this is an idea of opportunity costs. I don't want to waste my time being with people who don't know what they're doing, Or I don't want to, You know, Do something without knowing where it is going. But then I realized, You know, Speaking to you and also reflecting on my own moments in life, Sometimes when you do something, It is through the process that you discover some new insights, Even if there's no clear output or clear destination. And that is like a really powerful insight. And I want to tie it back also to the idea you talked a little bit about, Like almost like censoring yourself. It's almost like an invisible hand that like then pushes down on your like creative ideas that want to overflow and want to, You know, Come out of you. But then if we don't like give space for this creative side of you to grow, Then it's like the logical brain keeps holding on onto control of yourself. And all the thoughts that dominate your mind are like, Oh, I should be doing this. The logical step is this, You know, The right path to do things is this. And then what about the thoughts that are like, I want to do this and I cannot explain why, But I just have to do it. Yeah. I know you resonate with this. You want to talk a little bit more about this topic because I feel that this is something that, You know, Our listeners here would value a lot from hearing your own experience. And that is so deeply connected with your being. Oh, Well, Following this kind of ideas that sometimes they don't make sense with who we are being. Yet, There is a sense of, You know what, I have to do that. I mean, But it's a half that comes from your soul, Your heart, I don't know, Something deep inside is not have to because someone is telling me. When I go into this kind of deep reflection moments and I allow these ideas to come and come and then I start to notice some pattern of, Okay, This idea, This new thing that is coming, I didn't create it. I mean, I couldn't possibly come up with this. It's completely not me, Yet it does so much sense. So, But these ideas wouldn't ever come to me if I would be stopping, You know, The thoughts or just censoring them or judging them or trying to make logic or as you said, You know, You want to know where you're going with everything. And if you want to know where you're going, You already know it and then you cannot not allow any space for any new, For any different and most of us who are, I mean, Probably people who are going to listen are people who are like us, You know, Trying to make the best out of our lives in our own way, Trying to build something, Create something and expanding. And expansion means, You know, Go to places you haven't been before. And how do you do that? If you already know where you are going, Then it's not that new because your imagination, You know, Uses things that you already know to create, You know, These ideal outcomes. So if you're only creating from the things that you already know, You are basically creating all the same. Yes, You cannot grade something, You can make a little tweak, But there are so many unexplored areas of you that you never, Most people never allow themselves to know. So but that doesn't mean that these ideas that come, I mean, Normally, They don't make any sense with your life, When you know as it is, Or your personality as it is. But if you feel, I mean, I'm a person who really resonates with things feeling. So every person has a way to really recognize an idea when it's good or bad, You know, This gut feeling or whatever. But these things that makes it keep sense, Even though you cannot match it to anything in your current present. Well, That means there's something new, But it's still a part of you. So then it comes like, Okay, This, I say, I normally say like, This idea is talking to me. And then I go into a conversation with this idea. And then, You know, I'm sold, I'm totally sold. And then it's like, Okay, But this person that I am now, I mean, I have to normally learn a lot of things and do things in a way that is completely different. And then comes the expansion and then comes, Like new dimensions to your life that you couldn't possibly imagine. And that's how I think, You know, Your life for better and for good and really like, You know, Like change maker, What change maker of what, You know, You say like this. But I initially want to change myself, If I don't dare to change that, How am I expecting that anything changes? You know, I mean, If I, Most people will come like, Complaining, Whatever else outside that they see it, They don't like, But they are not willing to change a bit of themselves. So how can you expect anything else to change? I mean, And the funny thing is that once you start changing from inside, You don't care for what is outside. Because you either don't see anymore the things that bothered you in the past, Or you just, You know, You just know that for some things, They have to be that way or it doesn't matter, You just elevate, But in the end, You change, And then you can expect other things to change. Well, This is probably a topic for another discussion, Because it's one of those ideas that is complex and not everybody understand it, But this is basically what happens when you allow yourself to flow without filter that let your thoughts just come out. Just like this idea of this podcast came about, Because just following this trend of thought in conversation between us. And that's how I asked you, Would you like, Would you be interested to take these conversations everywhere else so other people can listen to them. And that was funny, Because I'm a super private person. And I'm just saying, Let's put these out to the world. Because when we met a couple of months ago, And she was telling me about one of her projects, She came with this idea of like, She wants to impact a lot of people, And she wants to really help and put everything out there. And something inside me is like, Okay, I'm okay with, There is some message that has to be shared. But that goes against my nature. So my thing is, Proposing this to Aline, Actually, Is just because this idea is too powerful. And I have to ignore it. So it's taking me to another level going against everything that I, Let's say, Am, But it's not totally true. So exploring these new territories that I think, I don't know what they hold. But I have to do it. Yeah, It's also so exciting. And I feel like really, I feel like this shift from like, Having a fixed idea of like, Which direction I'm going, What possible output, What the future might look like to like, Just being completely open, And just like simply experimenting, Playing without any idea of like, Or any fear or failure. I think a lot of what holds people back and even myself from time to time, You know, Even while we were creating this many times at the beginning, I suggested to you, Oh, Let's have some structure. Let's have some predefined themes. Let's have some predefined like flow of how things will go. You know, Probably those people who are tuning in, Like they would like some kind of learning objective or some kind of clear insight or clear direction. And then I realized that actually, It's like very often you derive your own insights. And it's this idea of also when you begin to, As you said, Flow without any clear idea of like a predetermined outcome, Like the process itself is so enriching. And then you become very intimate with life and it opens a new possibility of seeing things. And also I want to just touch on, Because you talked about, You know, Seeing the future. And I feel that ties in very closely with this concept of manifestation, Which is like, Of course, Very popular and a lot of people want to manifest their dream life. But like, I just wanted to also like go back to the idea that you said that you can't manifest from what you already know and what you see, Because if you do, Sure you can do that, But it's so limited. You know, The reality is like our human selves are so infinite. Like the real potential of who we are is untapped. There's so much of like you, So much potential, More things you could be doing, More hidden talents that you, You know, You have, But you don't know. There are like things you might enjoy, But you don't know yet. And like, Why limit yourself to all these things that you think you already enjoy, Or you think you already know? And maybe I can share a quick example, Like on what I mean by this, Like just the other day I was like going for running and I thought, Oh, Okay. I wanted to go to run, But I was like, I'm not dressed in like the right kind of wear for running. I'm not like a running kind of person. And I was like that, Then the other side of me that is already open, I was like, That's ridiculous. What do you mean running kind of person? I was also like, What do you mean, You know, Right kind of clothing for running. And then that also brought me back. I repelled or returned once again to this idea of like sometime ago, I was experimenting and like with my drink choices or like even as simple as like food choices. I only drink, You know, Flat white or some people like, I only take Americano. Have you actually tried other kinds of coffee? Have you tried them all? And then do you know that, You know, You really only like Americano? Is this just an idea that, Oh, People who drink Americano are people who are like this, You know, Maybe disciplined or, You know, They don't eat too much or whatever, You know, Whatever kind of associations. But I think you get the gist of what I am saying. And it is, It's just so interesting. And I think probably through you, I'm wondering what you're thinking, Barbara, Because for you probably you don't have this fixated idea. And I know you always take your coffee, Cappuccino with canela and cacao. Is that right? Right. I do. Yeah. When I take a cappuccino, I take it with canela and cacao and they are all very like both. Yes, Both. And there is a reason why I take it with both, But I don't think our listeners are interested in that. No, But it's just simply the idea of like, Yeah, I agree that, You know, If you don't, I mean, I know I like it with both because I have tried it with both. That's the thing. So going back to the point is like, Yes, I know some people who are just like, No, I have to have it this way because it's the way. And but but but why is it your way? And the funny thing is that when you start digging deeper about why is it that way for them? Many cases, It's like you have no idea. It's like because, You know, My mother gave it to me like that. So I just kept having it. And it wasn't really good, My mother's coffee. But, You know, I just got used to having this way. And then and my son now takes it that way and probably will go on and on and on for generations to come. And that's OK. Coffee would probably, You know, Won't change much of your life the way you take it. Or yes, I mean, For me, It's a big deal. But but in in most significant parts of your life, Many things, We just do them because someone else in our lives were doing it that way or told us to do it that way or, You know, It's cool or whatever. And then we never try. We never question. I mean, I will not I'm using this kind of formal way, But I'm a very person that has questions till you die. I mean, I will kill you with questions if I can, Because I question everything. I remember driving with my parents in the car and I was like three or four, You know, When you start talking and I mean talking like really want to make conversation. And and I always have questions. And why this and why that? And for every answer, There was a question that I wanted to know deeper. And well, Anyway, I carried that curiosity, But it goes beyond a curiosity. It's like and can it be done any different, You know, But why are they doing that? And then it is. Yeah, Exactly. Exactly. And people just don't question anything. And for some things, It's OK. I think it's a preservation of, You know, Of our energy for something is like stupid to be asking it all the time. So it's like the brain works in such a way so that we accept that what is given to us from an authority, Say our parents or someone who knows better in some things, Let's say safety when we are kids. So we don't question much. I mean, It makes no sense. It preserves its energy, But then it becomes like a compulsive behavior. And then we just take it on and we never question anything. And then we don't know if we like other things. We don't know if the things we are doing are probably holding us back or preventing us from doing things we want to do. In many cases, Things we don't even know we would like to do because we have never opened up the mind. Yeah. And so, I mean, It's so important to try as many coffees or to question as many things as possible and to be curious. I mean, If someone comes and asks me, Why do you take the cappuccino with both cow and canela? Canela is cinnamon, By the way, For our listeners who are outside Italy or they don't speak Italian or Spanish or any language where canela is cinnamon. So, I mean, If you want to ask me, I will tell you. So, I mean, But many times it's like people see people doing things and they judge or criticize. Oh, Look at that crazy is having that beverage in a different way. And instead of wondering why, I mean, But why with a genuine interest, They will just criticize, You know, And I have gotten criticized for eating or drinking things which are different from the culture that I'm in. I mean, I don't know. I mean, This is something that will tell you a lot about the person with whom you are interacting if that person will judge instead of curiously ask and maybe not because they will try it. Maybe they don't even like these ingredients. But, You know, There's that curiosity that will enrich their personal life. So you don't have to expect others to be curious. You have to become a curious person. So you will start learning from the everyday tiny things. So start implementing these things. So when you really encounter someone interesting in your life, You already used to ask and maybe something that you can apply. So, Yeah, That's what really I like when we talk that, You know, I listen and we are so different in many things, But in the end, The basis is the same. Like we are aiming for the same, But we're doing it different. So I'm curious because, Oh, Maybe that just doesn't apply to me, But that concept, You know, May bring something to my interest. Yeah, Definitely. And what you said, It's almost like we approach the same thing from a different direction, But then we're still looking at the same thing almost with a different lens. But then when we bring that viewpoint together, It's like, As you said, Black, White, Yin, Yang. We come back to this idea of union. And I enjoy these conversations so much, And I know that's not much time left, But I wanted to also like rappel back and again, Return to this idea because you talked about this idea of like being curious and open to possibilities. And I really love that you said, This idea of like trying not to be already judgmental, But simply holding a kind of curiosity at all the possibilities of what might be for yourself, But also for everyone around you. And, You know, I feel like for this, Like the next step would be going back to what we talked a little bit about manifestation. Again, Like, You know, If we look at the coffee and the beverage options, Like very often, If you go to a restaurant on Manu, There is a list of options and it never occurred to me until very late in my life that I could request for things that are not on the Manu. And I feel like that is like, It blew my mind. It's just like in life, There are so many rules, You know, Like for example, If you go to a yoga studio or maybe they say you cannot do this, That, That, Or maybe in school. You know, You're supposed to bring your textbook. You're not supposed to leave the class before some time. And then I, Maybe I can give a bet. The best example is like, There is a cafe near our place that we love to go that has this excellent croissant. And like they have a variety of flavors and from time to time, They have some specials and all the time I went there. I, Every time in my mind, I was like, I wish they did French, You know, Almond croissant, You know, It's something that I, I can find in France and I know it exists and I've tried so many and there's one in my mind that is just so amazing. And in Italy, I've never had it. I've never seen it. I miss it so much. And this place that we go to, Right. They do brioche and croissant so well. And I was like, I wish they did it, You know, But I never asked because it's not available. It's not in the Manu. I don't see that. And then one day I picked up the courage and I was like, Why am I, You know, Why, Why, Why am I limiting myself? I went ahead to the lady, Like she's called Daniela and I said, Daniela, You know, You guys do this so well. I come here almost every day to eat your croissant. I dream, You know, I've tasted so many croissant in Italy and yours is the best. I think that, You know, It would be so amazing if you guys actually made almond croissant, Like that would like make my day if this existed. And I know it doesn't exist yet, But I wonder if you guys would be open to trying to make it. And she was appalled when I, When I, When I send in this request and she was like, Oh, But she was really open. She was like, Let me go and speak to the pastry chef and then let me get back to you. And then she did. And then after we had our breakfast, She was like, This is the first time we've ever received a request like this, But actually that's a good, You know, Great suggestion. We will endeavor to do this and then yeah, We will be in touch. So I don't know, Maybe the next podcast or the week after you will hear from me about being able to eat the almond croissant I've wanted to eat, You know, It's, It's not available. I manifested it from beyond what is possible here, But because I had the audacity to ask, And also I want to definitely ping this back to you, Barbara, Because I feel you're an audacious person. And I know you have lots to share with our viewers on this idea of manifesting beyond the limits of possibility. Would you like to share a little couple of things around that from your own experience? Oh, I think that deserves a whole couple of episodes. So I will just, I will just tell you, And then we have to wrap it up, But I will just tell you, I know a place where they do this almond croissant in not so far from you. But besides that, I think, Ask, You know, Ask for what you want. That's the first key to manifesting anything. I mean, If you want something and you need, And you know you want it, And you have to ask for it, Whether it's to a person or whether it's to the universe, You know, Because the universe is yourself, You just place an intention when you ask and change the way you talk to yourself. That's the first step to manifest anything. And in the first question that just comes to me and anyone can implement from just yesterday is just, How can I do X, Y, Z? So instead of, You know, Get logged like, Oh, It's not raining from the heavens. No. So how can I? That's the first step to place an intention in your mind and then manifest and from there you can unfold your life. It just plays a question and then manifestation happens. And yeah, I mean, I can talk for hours, But I'm going to leave you with these for the moment. I hope it makes you happy. Also the croissant idea. Definitely. Definitely. So you, So all of you will stay tuned for the next episode and you'll probably hear from us on whether or not that croissant went well, As well as the other place as well. My favorite bakery, I hope they experimented with making almond croissant from a strange request by the first Singaporean customer they've ever had asking them to make. But you know, You are also enriching the other person by asking because you help them expand and reach new levels and reach new, You know, So never hesitate to ask. I mean, What's the worst that can happen? No, But most times you will get a yes or will try like you got it. So you are enriching other people's person. Just because you want something, You are making so many other people happy as well, Because in your process of getting what you want, You have no idea the impact you have on the people that will have to cooperate with you and the universe to make that happen. So everybody's growing when you want something, Everything around you expands and grows. That is fascinating. So I said I will jut up and I will shut up now. No, I definitely resonate with you, With your last thought on you saying like when you want something, Everything will expand. And I do feel that expansion, But as you said, I, Yeah, Let's wrap up. So thanks so much everyone for tuning in for our very first episode of Black, White, No Filter. Barbara and I are looking forward to catching up with you again for the next episode and then see you soon. Right. We'll be in touch. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be in touch. And thank you for wanting to jumping on board with my crazy and illogical idea of doing this project. You know, It was just a question. It was the best idea. Again, We rappel back. You just said, You asked me, You expanded my consciousness. Look, We grow together. That's crazy. All right. Okay. Bye everyone. Thank you.

Reviews

Thought-provoking and inspiring! And I love your encouragement to let curiosity lead you and to just ask when you want something. Looking forward to your next episode! 💕

This is such a sweet and refreshing share. I felt the warmth of your friendship. I felt invited. I felt the freedom released in just being… thank you for opening up to curiosity and asking! 🙏🌸❤️