This is a Mother's Day meditation.
Most of what I'm going to share comes from my own world and my own experiences.
I do hope that something I say can help those in different places.
Mothers of grown children,
Expectant mothers,
Maybe even those with a desire towards motherhood in the future.
Take what's helpful,
Leave the rest.
This is for you.
Mother's Day is around the corner and that brings up a lot for people.
One thing is for sure,
Mother's Day is usually the one day for a guilt-free break.
It's my hope that you can come back to this meditation any day for a guilt-free break.
I'm going to walk us through three parts of the meditation.
Gratitude.
Controlling what we can.
Self-love.
Part one,
Gratitude.
There are countless ways to do a gratitude practice,
So feel free to go back to using your own as soon as this is over.
But for now,
I'll share one of my favorite methods that was shared with me.
Make your hands into two fists.
Grip them tight.
Feel the tension building.
Then begin to count ten things that you're grateful for when it comes to motherhood.
It can be anything from your mom's cooking to the softness of your baby's skin.
As you count them,
Release a finger from the fist,
Counting from one to ten until you've released all ten fingers.
Now,
Or whenever you're done,
Your fingers should no longer be tight fists.
Your hands are relaxed,
Stretched out,
Open,
And ready to receive.
That tightness of our fists is a familiar tension,
Holding stress from our minds and hearts in the body.
Gratitude,
Breath,
Yoga,
Meditation,
These are ways we practice releasing that tension.
Which brings us to part two,
Controlling what we can.
We all want so badly to be a good parent that we try to find the best way.
In that process,
We judge and impose guilt on ourselves and all the other moms out there.
We forget that they are busy loving their kids.
As parents,
We experience comparison,
Competition,
Judgment,
Shame,
And guilt.
Here's the thing,
We have the best incentive to break through and turn it around.
Being a mom can actually make us more understanding and more compassionate if we let it.
If we are brave enough to admit that it's hard,
If we are brave enough to admit that we don't have the answers,
Then we would look at each other and say,
Wow,
She loves her kids and she's doing the best she can,
Just like me.
And not only do we have the best incentive,
We have the skills.
As moms,
As daughters,
As humans,
We have experience with the thing we need.
Unconditional love and a deep yearning to do it right.
Having kids is really hard.
It changes you,
Your body,
Your relationship,
And how you spend your time.
And that deep,
Unconditional,
Pure,
Soul-squeezing love is unlike anything I've ever known.
And I'm a lover.
The only thing we have to do is love our kids.
And luckily,
That is the one thing that comes naturally.
More naturally for some than loving ourselves.
So when it comes to controlling what we can,
I want you to ponder what it is that you can and can't control in whatever your situation is.
For example,
We can't control what our kids say and do,
But we can control our own reactions.
We can control whether or not we stay calm and present in the moment.
The goal here is to control what we can and surrender to the rest.
And maybe you don't feel like you can control your reaction.
Maybe you don't feel like you can be calm and patient.
And so for our practice,
We're going to create your own mantra.
I want you to think about whatever your main challenge is as a mother.
Whatever it is that prevents you from being the mom that you want to be.
Whether it's your patience,
Your lack of time,
Patterns or habits that you have from your past,
Different ways of doing things,
Balancing it all with work,
Adjusting as your kids get older.
Think about whatever your greatest challenge is.
Now we're going to turn that challenge into an affirmation.
We're going to turn your challenge into a personal mantra.
So if your challenge is patience,
You're going to write your own affirmation.
Something along the lines of I am calm and patient,
Allowing me to be the mom I want to be.
I am calm and patient,
Allowing me to be the mom I want to be.
Or say your challenge is time.
You'll write an affirmation.
I use the time I have to connect strongly with my children and form an unbreakable bond.
I use the time I have to connect strongly with my children and form an unbreakable bond.
When forming your mantra,
You'll use positive present tense language.
And you'll have it along the lines of controlling what you can.
So notice I didn't say I have all the time in the world to connect with my children.
Instead,
I said I use the time I have to connect strongly with my children.
And so you'll take a few moments and turn your challenge into an affirmation.
And then you'll just repeat that affirmation to yourself.
Maybe connect it with your breath until you hear the bell.
Part 3 Self-love.
Self-love.
Taking care of ourselves first so that we can be our best selves and by extension be better moms.
Self-love can be a tricky one.
Self-care can be hard for a lot of moms.
There's this idea that we have to take care of everyone else and that that is the definition of being a good mom.
But as a mom,
Think about what you would want for your daughter.
Or what you would want for your own mom.
Would you want them to love themselves first?
To take care of themselves first?
We'll take a few moments to practice loving kindness meditation.
You'll repeat the mantra to yourself.
Feel free to modify the words.
First call to mind your own mom or someone who played a mother-like role for you.
Maybe a mentor or a teacher or an aunt.
Call them to mind.
Picture their face.
And you'll just repeat to yourself.
May she be filled with loving kindness.
May she be free from suffering.
May she be at ease.
May she be filled with loving kindness.
May she be free from suffering.
May she be at ease.
Next call to mind your child or someone who is in your care.
And we'll do the same visualization.
Picture them.
See them.
And then you'll repeat the words to yourself again.
Now wishing your child loving kindness.
May they be filled with loving kindness.
May they be free from suffering.
May they be at ease.
May they be filled with loving kindness.
May they be free from suffering.
May they be at ease.
Finally,
And for some this may be the hardest.
You call to mind yourself.
You'll picture your own face.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be at ease.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be at ease.
I want you to remember that you are enough.
That you have the capacity for love.
And that's your job as a mother.
Not to be perfect.
Not to control.
Not to sacrifice.
Just to love.
Happy Mother's Day.
