The 12 Habits For Building A Daily Gratitude Practice

In this talk, Tudor addresses the 12 timeless habits that will empower you to create a Daily Gratitude Practice and maintain it for years to come. Grab a notebook and listen as he details them in an easy, relatable fashion for you to consider. Utilize the power of these simple habits and create an effective daily practice of Gratitude that will be your foundation for success, fulfillment, and a life well-lived.

Transcript

Special episode,

The 12 habits to build a daily gratitude practice.

This is the dance of life.

My name is Tutor Alexander and we are going to go on a journey to hack your mind,

Body,

And soul for living your best life yet.

Join in every week to learn something new,

Grow,

And get inspired as we discover the secrets of success and practice the art of fulfillment.

And if it's one thing I hope you learn from today,

It's that your life is a dance.

And just like any dance,

You can learn to dance it well.

What's up,

What's up everybody?

Welcome back to the show.

My name is Tutor Alexander.

I'll be your host for another episode of the dance of life podcast.

Thank you so much for being with me here today and wherever that happens to be for you and whenever that happens to be.

It's a Friday for me right now,

But you know,

The stuff we're going to be talking about today is timeless.

And that's the kind of stuff I like to talk about most.

It's my favorite stuff.

You know,

Gratitude is so important.

It cannot be overstated.

I think it's one of those things,

You know,

It's like brushing your teeth.

We tend to value the things that are a quick fix.

You know,

You look today on social media and it's so funny,

I get some of these ads.

It's like 10 minute abs,

You know,

It's like that commercial way back,

How many years ago that was making fun of those things.

But it's really true.

I mean,

I saw this commercial for like a,

Like a bike,

Like a gym bike that you could get on and,

You know,

Get a 40 minute workout in five minutes,

You know,

Or learn the 10 hacks to make this person you like sleep with you in five days,

You know,

This kind of stuff.

I mean,

It is just,

It's a,

It's an immediate gratification world we live in.

And unfortunately it's very much like the fly and the fire,

You know,

The insect and the bright light that ends up burning itself.

We are so attracted to these immediate results,

But we are falling victim to our primitive programming.

You know,

We tend to ignore the process.

We tend to ignore things that are seemingly simple.

You know,

I just finished writing a giant book,

About 800 pages.

It was a monster about everything I've learned the last 16 years in biohacking and,

You know,

Health and wellness.

It's an amazing book.

It's called dance your way through life.

And you can check it out.

Dance your way through life.

Com.

It's same shameless promotion,

But anyway,

This is related.

One of the chapters in there about wellness is on oral health.

And you know,

With oral health,

It's your teeth are the only teeth you have until we figure out how to regrow them with stem cells or something.

But until that time,

And even then it probably won't be accessible to everybody,

But until that time,

You know,

You only get one set of teeth after,

After your baby teeth.

And so it's very different than the rest of your body because,

You know,

They don't really regrow.

And so you have to,

Your habits and your discipline and the things that you do every day really make the difference when it comes to your oral health and oral health is connected to everything.

I mean,

You have,

You know,

Root canals,

There's so much science on that.

And like I said,

I go into it in the book if you're curious,

But there's so much science about how the meridian system is connected to your teeth.

How does the root canals and bacteria that can grow there can affect other parts of your body.

I mean,

Teeth are very important.

And so long story short,

You know,

To really take care of your teeth,

It really comes back to the basics.

You know,

Brushing your teeth every day mindfully,

Learning how to do that,

You know,

Because some people brush very vigorously and they erode their gum line.

You know,

Learning to use,

You know,

Natural products instead of stuff that's just toxic like fluoride,

You know,

All these simple things,

Being mindful,

You know,

Using flossing mindfully so you don't hurt your gums.

Maybe even some fancy stuff like there's some red light therapy devices you can put in your mouth.

And even that really,

I mean,

You know,

Making sure that you don't eat acidic foods,

You know,

Some things that are just simple.

They sound so simple,

But really they're not because you have to do them every day.

You have to remember and intentionally commit to doing it every day.

And so we don't see the value of that.

You know,

This is my whole point,

Especially with the whole gratitude topic we're talking about today is that it's a practice.

We don't see the value of practice.

We don't see the value of simple things done every day.

And so one of the things that I'll preface,

You know,

The things I'll share with you today,

They're really nothing new.

They're nothing,

You know,

They say enlightenment is there's nothing really about enlightenment.

It's just it happens and there you go.

And so the same thing is with awareness or consciousness or anything else.

You know,

There's no huge revelation.

You know,

When you get it,

When you really see it,

When you realize what there is to realize,

This is it right here,

Right now.

This is it.

The present moment.

You know,

There's no fancy hack.

This is what it is.

And so we often get distracted by a hunger for some exciting thing,

You know,

Some new thing.

And it's so we ignore the value of these simple things done every day.

And so what I wanted to really preface,

I really took some time to preface before I share these things with you,

Because again,

They're very,

They're relatively simple habits,

You know,

And my challenge will be to you to pick out three of them and commit to them.

You know,

For the rest of your life,

You know,

I try to do all 12.

I'm not perfect at it by any means.

But you try to try to commit to three of these per day.

They don't have to be the same three every day.

But you know,

It helps to build the habit and see where your life will take you,

Because it's not about doing something that's going to change your life tomorrow.

You may change an awareness about something,

But really implementing change takes time.

You know,

I actually wrote I've written three books up until now,

So I'm shamelessly promoting myself,

But I one of my first books was on gratitude was on exactly what I'm sharing with you guys today.

It's called the gratitude map.

And if you want to check that out,

You can get it for free.

You can get all the resources that it's just nine bucks,

You pay for the shipping and it's mailed to you get the digital courses,

You can get the audio book,

All that stuff is yours.

Go check it out the gratitude map.

Com.

But that'll guide you into everything we're talking about today,

Because I'm just going to go through this stuff.

Nothing terribly new in the spiritual realm of things.

But really,

If you want the details and implementing the tools and the workbook and all these things to help you actually do this stuff every day,

That's where the benefit is.

None of these things are shocking.

You know,

But they are shocking when you can put them into play and you shift the way you think,

You shift the way you respond to life and its many changes.

This is when you know your practice has made it into your character.

And that's why it's so important.

You know,

Today gratitude is more important than ever,

Because we live in a world of constant change.

And we are hardwired to value the changes that are negative.

This is just a primitive programming thing.

We're hardwired to value what happens and we,

You know,

If it's negative,

Then we remember it.

And so,

Especially when the change is more and more,

You know,

The rate of change is faster and stronger,

It's very important to balance the mind.

The mind will take you for a spin.

And if,

To me,

That's why gratitude is just a fundamental,

I call it vitamin G.

And so,

It's a fundamental part of your day.

I wrote a book on this and I'll tell you that every day for me is still a challenge.

Now,

That doesn't mean I stay there if I get angry,

If I get frustrated,

If I get upset with someone.

You know,

If something doesn't work out,

I mean,

There's always things,

Right?

Every day we have a reason to be upset.

We have a reason to,

You know,

To feel that life is shorting us on something.

You know,

You don't stay there and that's the key.

In the past,

I would have stayed there.

In the past,

Maybe I would have spent a lot more energy complaining and getting depressed for a day or two or,

You know,

Not taking action,

Whatever.

And so,

My point is,

You know,

Even though I've written this book,

Even though I'm here with you today sharing these things with you that seem so seemingly simple like brushing your teeth mindfully,

Which it's not because you can have a whole lesson.

I could spend probably two hours teaching someone how to be mindful with their brushing and have the right technique,

The right pressure,

The right sensitivity,

The right attention to detail.

I mean,

There's so much.

Everything has room for depth in it.

And if you can cultivate your mind to be curious for that depth,

You will be a student of life and you'll be able to do anything.

And so,

This is another reason why gratitude is important.

It gets you present.

Again,

Today we live in a world that's constantly changing.

And so,

Besides focusing on the negative,

You know,

There's that danger.

The other danger,

And I go into this in my book,

You know,

There's eight major obstacles,

But one of them is desensitization.

You know,

You get desensitized to the present moment because there's so much change.

So,

Always things are changing.

And so,

We want that next change.

What's going to happen?

What's going to happen?

And so,

You can't ever just slow the hell down and get present.

And so,

This is very important because one of the elements of gratitude is,

You know,

Gratitude doesn't happen in the future.

It also doesn't happen in the past.

It happens in the here and now,

In the present moment.

And so,

Using your senses,

Coming to a level of stillness,

These things are so important.

Again,

Not phenomenally new ideas,

But,

You know,

They've been around for thousands of years for a reason because they're a practice.

You know,

You don't just kind of realize it and then suddenly you're a master at it.

Wouldn't that be nice?

And actually,

It wouldn't be nice if you really think about it.

You know,

It wouldn't be nice if you could just master something right away like that.

You would get bored.

You know,

Life would cease to have its meaning.

The whole,

You know,

I talk about the dance of life a lot.

And the dance of life is this dance between two opposites,

You know,

Between the two things that are opposing each other,

But they're not opposing each other like a war.

They're opposing each other in a complementary fashion.

And so part of that is a certain level of resistance that we need in life.

You know,

We have gravity that pulls us to the ground.

And when you stand up,

You're pushing against that gravity.

And those two forces create your sense of your body and walking around.

You know,

We are in between those two forces and this is the thing to really get.

And so it is good that this is a practice,

That it takes time,

That you never mastered and that you have a chance every day to live as day one.

You know,

If anything has taught me all these crazy,

Crazy times in the last years and change,

Again,

Depending on when you're listening to this,

It's about early 2021 right now,

But either way,

2020 was crazy for all of us.

And one thing that it has taught me is again,

The value of gratitude and living every day as if it's day one,

You know,

And practicing again,

I've written a book on this stuff.

I talk about it on my podcast all the time.

You know,

I try my best to do as much as I can with this and with the things I've,

I'm going to be sharing with you in this podcast,

But it never ends.

There's always a reason to complain.

There's always a reason to be desensitized.

You know,

Sometimes your body,

You know,

Again,

There's eight obstacles.

Another one is fatigue.

You know,

Sometimes your body will change and you may have some stress.

You may have some burnout and you'll wake up tired.

And when you're tired,

It's a lot easier to be grumpy and lose all the things that you worked on,

You know?

So there are a lot of obstacles that we have to deal with and they're predictable.

I outline them in the book.

Like I said,

The gratitude map,

You can go check it out,

Get it for free,

Free book,

A lot of great resources that come with it as well.

And this will help you really implement this into a life's practice because again,

All these things are super easy.

So go check out the book,

The gratitude map.

Com.

Here's the 12 habits to build a daily gratitude practice.

Let's do this.

So number one is invest in yourself.

So what does that mean?

That means really putting the money to develop new things that excite you.

You know,

One part of gratitude is excitement.

You know,

It's really having that sense of joy.

It is a virtue of the heart.

And when you invest in yourself,

You're giving yourself reasons to be grateful for later.

You know,

Everybody has a passion.

Everybody has things that they're curious about.

Everybody has things that get them excited.

And when you can devote a little bit of your resources,

At least a little bit to investing yourself and that can even be,

You know,

Something,

You know,

Like let's say you want to start a hobby.

You know,

I started podcasting a couple of years ago and you know,

I had a crappy little mic and you know,

Whatever else,

But that gave me such a fulfilling journey to be able to invest in myself a little bit and try these things.

And you know,

I used to,

I mean,

I haven't played music in a while.

I'm a musician also by trade and I had a nice keyboard that I bought,

You know,

And it allowed me to create a beautiful musical album,

You know,

And that gave me so many things to be grateful for.

I ended up playing that music and volunteering and it's actually,

It's on Insight Timer if you want to listen to a lot of the tracks,

The beautiful tracks,

You know,

And I've had so many people reach out to me and say they enjoyed it.

And so all these things,

What do they do?

There's a fundamental principle here that I didn't discuss previously and I'll bring it out now.

It's,

It is this idea of a cycle.

It's called an abundant cycle.

And again,

I talk about it in the book,

The gratitude map,

But the idea is very simple.

You want to create a cycle.

Everything has,

Everything spins in the universe.

Everything has this,

This battery,

This infinite battery.

And so if you want to leverage that energy,

You have to understand how gratitude works with generosity.

Right.

And so that plays a big part in this.

And so,

You know,

When you,

Let's say you're grateful for something and one of the habits that we'll mention here is acknowledging others,

You know,

Basically words of praise,

Right?

That's a pretty common one.

And so,

You know,

Let's say you're grateful for somebody,

But you know,

You're really shy,

You don't want to speak up.

Well,

That gratitude is going to disappear.

Or at the very least,

It's going to be very diminished because gratitude is meant to be expressed.

There is,

You know,

There's a presence element.

You got to be present.

There's a stillness element,

Right?

Meaning I'm here in the here and now I'm calming my mind and the final call it the three S's of gratitude.

The final one is sharing and,

You know,

Being able to share with others,

Share what you feel,

Share what's inside,

Share your resources,

You know,

Share yourself,

Whatever it is.

Right.

So you invest in yourself and you give yourself the opportunity to,

It could be a massage so you can relax,

You know,

So that you can be nicer with other people or it could be,

You know,

You're investing in a hobby and so that you can share who you are as a person with the world.

And then you put that out there,

That changes other people's lives and improves their lives.

They come back to you and say,

Wow,

Thank you so much.

And then now you,

You have this little cycle that you're building around you and it gives you constantly,

You know,

Food and energy,

Spiritual food in the sense to keep going.

So this is the key.

You have to create an abundant cycle between gratitude and generosity,

Between your actions,

Putting yourself out in the world and do not keep things to yourself.

Be open.

You know,

The heart is meant to fill up.

It's like,

You know,

The container,

But generosity is the second part of that process,

Which is where the container overflows.

And then that generosity loops back into you because as you act generously in the world,

You know,

Those,

Those actions will,

You know,

You'll reap the rewards,

Not that you're doing it for the rewards,

But everything comes back to you.

So invest in yourself,

Whatever that means to you today,

Invest in yourself.

Don't be shy.

Make a fund if you need to devote to really investing yourself and keeping yourself at the tip top and your health in your personal growth by learning different things in pursuing your passions.

Again,

There's so many things I outline a lot of specific action items in the book.

So again,

If you want a nice little guide,

You know,

All these little details and stuff,

Check the book.

There's a lot of suggestions and get a workbook and all that stuff,

But invest in yourself.

Number two,

Do creative stuff.

Doing creative stuff again,

Kind of in line with investing yourself,

But really this is more specific about do,

You know,

Get in tone,

Get in tune with your inner child.

We all had things when we were kids where we were curious about,

You know,

That may be baking for you and it might be cars for the next person.

But you know,

At some point when we grow up and quote unquote grow up,

We become reasonable,

Right?

We become reasonable and then we start choosing to be reasonable and to aim lower and lower.

You know,

There's a story that I talk about in the book.

Actually,

A lot of my books,

I talk about this,

But it's the flea jar.

And I don't know if this is true or not,

But supposedly they used to train fleas in the circus a hundred years ago or whatever it was by putting them in a jar and the flea would jump and hit its head on the lid.

And then,

You know,

It would jump lower and lower.

So it wouldn't hit its head anymore.

And so then they would take the lid off and the flea wouldn't realize it.

So they would be trained basically.

Now again,

I don't know if this is true or not.

I haven't fact check it necessarily.

But if it is true,

You know,

Are we to think that we're so superior when something so primitive can be trained?

You know,

And so this is the thing is when you limit yourself with limiting beliefs,

When you forget to play,

When you forget your inner child,

When you disconnect from the things that truly feed you,

That sense of joy and purpose and passion and fun is very important for maintaining a practice of gratitude.

All the creative things I've done,

I've done a lot of creative stuff in my life.

I'm very grateful for it.

You know,

Like I said,

The music album,

The podcast,

The books I've written out of careers as a professional dancer.

You know,

I mean,

A lot of creatives creativity has been a big part of my life and it's always been a source of gratitude and peace and a sense of alignment with my purpose.

And that really fills your heart up.

That gives you confidence.

It gives you confidence to act in the world and to know who you are.

And that is priceless to me.

Now,

Another thing about creativity that I want to mention really quick before we go on the next one is that create,

You don't,

You know,

Creativity is not for artsy people or artists,

You know,

Creativity.

When you breathe out,

You are creating,

You are creating air for the plants,

The,

The breathe carbon dioxide.

So you have to reframe,

Which is another of the habits that we'll talk about soon,

But you have to reframe the,

This idea of creativity.

You know,

If,

Oh gosh,

I'm just not that creative.

Well,

BS,

Everybody has a creative energy to them.

Right?

So again,

You may be very good at baking.

The other person may be great at,

You know,

Quilting or cars.

I don't know.

We all have things we're curious about.

So forget the artsy stuff or forget thinking that you have to have talent.

I don't believe in talent and worry more about,

You know,

Focus on curiosity,

Shift your mind to what you were curious about and cultivate this virtue.

It's all about curiosity.

It's not about talent.

So this is a very important point to remember.

Okay.

Number three,

Go outside.

Easy one.

Go outside every day,

Take a walk,

Go biking,

Especially now it's,

You know,

It's,

Uh,

With all the lockdowns that have been planning,

Everybody has discovered this a lot more,

You know,

So three and four actually kind of go together.

It's go outside and talk to plants and,

Uh,

You know,

Going outside and communing with nature.

You know,

Nature has so many documented health benefits.

It's irregular.

And so it,

It,

Uh,

Makes your monkey mind stop thinking.

You know,

When you're in a predictive,

Predictable place,

Like an office,

A box,

A room,

Everything that we have is very square.

And so our mind just gets very analytical when you're in front of a computer in a,

In a building in a city,

When you go out in nature,

Everything is irregular.

And so your analytical mind can't keep up with it.

And that's a good thing because you're in your creative mind,

Your intuition,

Which actually strives on chaos,

On irregularity.

That's when that can come out to play.

And that's when you can hear messages,

You can listen,

You can download,

You can calm down,

You know?

And so talking to plants,

Uh,

You know,

You don't have to feel like a crazy person or be a hippie.

It's really just get in tune with the reality that plants are living creatures.

You know,

We,

We have this,

Uh,

Sense in the Western world,

Particularly not so much in the Eastern,

But in the Western world that we are sort of the,

The cosmic supreme intelligence out there.

We're,

We're the height of the evolutionary chain.

And this is just baloney.

I mean,

The more you read even quantum physics,

Uh,

And all this stuff that you learn about in science,

It's very clear that consciousness is,

Is not exclusive to human beings.

It is everywhere.

You know,

A rock can be conscious,

Has consciousness in it.

Now does it behave in the same way as you're being?

Absolutely not.

Of course not.

But we have to see consciousness is not this exclusive thing that means you can talk and walk around consciousness is in everything.

And so when you shift that again,

It's a perspective shift.

That's a very important perspective shift that'll help you really reap a lot of rewards from going out in nature because I'll tell you,

You know,

With all the things that I've done creatively,

One of the biggest things that has helped me is just,

I've gone to,

You know,

Personal,

I'm sure you can relate to this.

I've gone to a lot of personal growth events,

Done coaching,

You know,

I've done a lot of things for myself.

You know,

The,

The book I mentioned at the beginning of this episode,

Dance your way through life that I recently completed the 800 page monster,

Uh,

That's probably over 16 years and over a hundred grand of experiences that I condensed into that book.

And so why I'm saying that and not to brag or anything,

But you know,

The point is I've done a lot of things.

And even with all that,

I can tell you that one of the most influential aspects of my own growth has been literally just going outside and spending time and quietness and hearing what messages,

Uh,

You know,

Spirit animals have to say,

You know,

You start to see animals that normally you wouldn't expect.

And then you look up the meaning and they have to do with what you're thinking about.

You sit next to a tree and then you,

You kind of just feel what your intuition has for you.

So these things are very important.

Very important to do that.

Like I said,

Try to do it every day,

Go for a walk.

I always try to go for a walk,

Especially when I'm writing that I do,

Uh,

It clears the mind so it's a great habit and to always get you in tune with nature and impermanence and change and natural beauty,

Humility,

Harmony,

So many things.

I mean,

Look,

You know,

All the ancients that enlightened themselves were doing so because they were out in nature.

Nobody spent their life in a box of building and figured it out.

You figured it out when they went outside.

So three and four,

Go outside,

Talk to plants.

Number five,

Pray.

This is a good one.

Prayer is fundamental to life.

Now what you understand by prayer is very important though.

There's a lot of caveats here.

We tend to pray by thinking that we need to ask for something and this is probably the farthest thing for prayer that you could ever imagine.

So when you pray,

It's not about asking for something.

When you ask for something,

You have fundamentally acknowledged that you don't have it.

And so all you're doing is repeating to the universe that you don't have it and you're repeating your own smallness that you don't have this thing and it's farther away from you and gosh,

Please God help me out here,

Whatever else.

Prayer is not about that prayer,

You know,

And it's not about religious prayer either.

I mean,

Religion is fine,

But prayer,

It's at its fundamental core is the way that we communicate with source and offer it.

Thanks.

You know,

When you realize that this whole life is a game,

It's a miracle.

It's a blessing to be here.

Whatever this experience is,

It's a movie.

I'm sure you've probably felt that,

Especially in the last year or so,

You know,

With everything that's changed and all the things that have been happening in the world.

This life is a movie,

You know,

And we chose to be here to learn spiritual lessons,

To grow as a soul.

And these experiences are expertly choreographed for you.

And so you have a front row seat at the most advanced spiritual experience there is.

And so when you realize all that stuff and you come to terms with the nature of your being and your journey here,

Then the only response is gratitude.

And you want,

Again,

Everything that goes in must come out.

You have to share.

And so praying is how you share that with your greater self,

With the capital S.

And when you do that,

You create that abundant cycle again,

Because you're generous with yourself,

You're outpouring in your gratitude.

You acknowledge,

You know,

The blessings that you've had.

And so that changes your vibration and that vibration indirectly attracts what you want more of.

Right.

You know,

I'll give you a brief example.

I,

You know,

I'll get,

You know,

Like the other day I was selling something online,

Just some little,

You know,

Whatever podcast arm for like four,

30 bucks.

I met this guy,

He gave me 40 bucks cash.

He's like,

Hey,

I don't have 30.

Is it okay if I gave you 40?

I'm like,

Absolutely.

Thank you so much.

You know,

If it were me,

Many moons ago,

I would have ignored that opportunity to give thanks that money comes to me easily and in unexpected amounts.

Right.

So that is an affirmation.

That is a way that we pray and give thanks when things happen as evidence.

You know,

Prayer is about reviewing the evidence in your life that things are working out.

Right.

It's not about asking for things that haven't happened and,

And struggling and hoping to God that God or whatever else will rescue you.

God or whatever you believe in is behind you,

But you have to act.

This is the game.

You have to move with the context that you are supported.

So there's an element of faith alongside gratitude as well.

That's very important.

Prayer is very much about communicating your things.

And again,

I go into greater detail about all of these things,

How to implement them,

You know,

Some things to watch out for,

Uh,

You know,

In your practice,

But prayer is so important.

Number six,

Acknowledge others.

Very straightforward.

You know,

Your words are so important and some people are not worthy.

And if that's you,

My challenge to you is learn to be a little more worthy,

You know,

Because that is one of the skills in life to be able to use your language in such a way that you empower others,

That you also articulate and describe what is in your heart.

There's nothing,

You know,

There's nothing worse than having something inside of you and being unable to express it.

You know,

Again,

It's about the cycle.

Everything that is in must be expressed outward.

And then that outward expression feeds back into the system.

Right.

And also those junctures,

There can be blocks.

You may have a block and expressing it.

Right.

So some people feel shy or inhibited or they feel stupid.

They don't feel,

You know,

They're very articulate,

Whatever.

And that's okay.

You know,

You just have to practice.

You know,

This is a,

Everything's a practice.

Uh,

You know,

When I started this podcast,

I mean,

Some of the podcasts I have in the very beginning,

You can check them on iTunes.

I think some of them on insight timer too.

They're terrible.

I mean,

I think they're terrible,

But that's okay.

You know,

And they practiced.

And so you practice and practice and you get better at everything.

And so that's the key.

Uh,

Nobody was born playing the piano out of the womb.

You know,

I played piano for 20 years.

And so when I was to volunteer back at the Mayo clinics,

The cancer ward,

You know,

People would say,

Oh my gosh,

You know,

I love your music and you're so talented,

You know,

And it's,

It's like,

You know,

Thank you.

I appreciate the compliment,

But it's really not about talent.

You know,

Had you seen the burning curiosity that I had to teach myself piano and to lie to that took some lessons too,

But I was just burningly passionate and curious about the piano.

I spent hours and hours and hours and hours and hours practicing and playing and messing around and failing.

And now it's relatively easy for me to play.

I haven't played in a little while,

But I,

I could pick it up again and it'll be easy to express myself.

Right?

So this is the thing about practice.

Now the other part of it is again,

There's blocks on both sides.

You may be blocked in expressing it and that takes practice and vulnerability and putting yourself out there and just trying and letting go of self judgment.

The other part is accepting,

Accepting that energy back into your life.

Right?

So some people,

You know,

Have a hard time accepting praise from others or letting other people compliment them or,

You know,

Uh,

Letting anybody spend money on them,

You know,

That kind of thing.

Right?

So that's a lesson for me to do too,

Especially if you're a people pleaser,

If you're a hard working person and if you really put yourself out there a lot,

One of the things that's really important to learn is to also allow others to,

You know,

Express themselves unto you.

You know,

That's a big one is,

Is allowing others the space to be able to feel that they can contribute to you through their acknowledgement,

Through their actions,

Through their money.

It's a self worth thing too.

I mean,

Uh,

How long it took me to be okay with charging what I charge for my time,

You know,

Because I always went above and beyond and I still do.

And I,

Even the things that I charge for,

Whether it's my time,

My books,

My programs,

There's nowhere near like the amount that I'm charging is nowhere near what I should be charging.

But the point is,

You know,

Allowing it's okay to receive,

Right?

It's okay to receive.

And so sometimes we have a block about that because of self worth,

Because of shame,

Uh,

Because of guilt,

Because of anything else,

You have to watch for those blocks in all of these really.

But you know,

We're using the acknowledgement,

Uh,

As an example.

So number seven,

Make lists.

Another easy one,

Right?

Have a little journal every day and make a list at least three or four things or make mental list in the morning.

Uh,

If you're a wordy person,

If you like to talk to yourself,

I like to talk to myself,

But before you sit down to eat,

That's another great time.

Another one that I'll suggest that's really cool is to make a reverse gratitude list.

Now what does this mean?

A reverse gratitude list is basically,

It's basically what it sounds.

I mean,

It's a,

It's a list of things you're grateful for not having.

This sounds kind of silly,

But,

Uh,

You know,

I went to a doctor's appointment a long time ago and I had to check in.

It was a new,

I was a new patient.

And so I'm going through the,

You know,

The list there is a giant list of intake form.

It's okay.

It's all off what you have and what you don't have.

And,

You know,

There's all these diseases and problems.

And as I'm checking them,

No,

Obviously,

You know,

Thank God.

I'm like,

Wow,

Like I'm really grateful that I don't have all these things,

You know?

And in that moment,

Uh,

It was,

It was like a little light bulb went off,

You know,

Sometimes making lists of what we're grateful for.

We can kind of burn out on that sometimes,

But there's a whole side to the coin is a whole nother side where you can make a list of things you're grateful for not having to deal with today.

That's a really powerful exercise and it gets you to be humble again and to remember your first world problems.

Cause most of us,

I mean,

If you're listening to this audio,

Chances are a lot of your problems are first.

I'm not saying all of them,

But you know,

We have first world problems.

You know,

We get lost in our own reality of our own problems.

We forget that,

You know,

For millions and millions of children,

Children,

Not people,

Like adults,

Like children,

Millions and millions of children,

Their problem is that they can't eat that day.

You know?

And so that right there,

Or they don't have clean water.

I mean,

You see these kids in Africa and in other places,

Very poor countries where they're crawling on the ground to drink some water.

I mean,

It's,

Uh,

It's really sad.

And when you get that,

That that's kind of the baseline,

You know,

That's the default,

Then a lot of the problems that you have are our first world problems.

And again,

I'm not saying all of them are,

But it just puts things in reference.

So make a list of what you're grateful that you aren't dealing with.

Number eight,

Do something for someone acts of service.

That's a classic one.

You know,

When you are feeling,

You know,

To say,

Uh,

There's a quote by Ghani,

It's one of the best ways to lose ourselves is to get lost in the service of others.

Right?

And it's a very great quote.

It's one I remember all the time,

Because when you do something for someone else,

You forget yourself,

You forget your ego,

You forget your problems,

You forget who you are,

You forget your identity,

All the things that keep drawing you back to worry and be upset and all these things.

So volunteering is great,

You know,

Uh,

Giving gifts for other people,

However your love language is,

You know,

If you know what those are,

Uh,

You know,

Do something for someone else and,

And forget yourself in the process.

That's a great way to,

To move forward from whatever you're dealing with.

Number nine,

Reframe.

Reframing is probably one of the most classic habits when it comes to building a gratitude practice.

I think of gratitude as reframing,

Right?

In some sense,

Because you are,

Uh,

You know,

Looking at,

For example,

Living a,

Uh,

Get to life versus a have to life.

Right?

So I don't have to do this.

I get to do this.

That is a change that happens in language.

So reframing is a linguistic tool and it doesn't mean you're fooling yourself because ultimately the world is meaningless.

And so we have a filter of meaning that we put on it.

That is,

You know,

I'm paraphrasing like years of personal growth here.

So it's easier said than done,

Obviously,

But we have a layer of meaning that we put over it.

And so you have,

You have to realize that the relationship between what things mean and your emotions is hardwired into our biology.

So if something means good,

Then you'll get good emotions.

If something means bad,

You'll get bad emotions.

So those emotions have physiological effects and they motivate you to act in certain ways.

So it's very important then to control what things mean in your mind.

This is a lifetime practice.

There's seminars,

There's coaching,

There's books that are dedicated to reframing.

Right?

And you could say it in some sense,

The gratitude is the practice of reframing a situation.

Now again,

I think there's more elements to gratitude and I talk about that in the book,

But you know,

Like for example,

Being present,

Having some sense of a physical,

Your physical senses involved,

Sharing,

Having a sense of stillness where you are,

You know,

Physiologically at a stillness.

I think that's also part of gratitude,

But there's definitely a linguistic component.

Right?

And so reframing is something that we do on a regular basis and that's done through a lot of things.

You know,

Making lists can be reframing,

Right?

So you can make a list of the problems.

Let's say you make,

You pick out three problems you have and you,

You just find,

You pick,

You start with one of them and you find an alternate explanation or a meaning to that.

You find something that you could be grateful for,

Something that was positive about it,

Something that you learned,

Right?

There's always something,

You know,

And this is,

This is such a key and we're going to get back to this idea of finding that little something in just a bit,

But there's always something and if you can train your mind to sniff out that,

That extra something,

You'll become masterful at this.

Okay.

So be spontaneous.

And there's something to be said about the balance between having a routine with all the things that we're talking about in a practice and,

And being spontaneous and ripping from that routine,

You know,

Being able to just jump and go and do something is such a valuable skill because unfortunately,

You know,

Desensitization,

I mentioned that as one of the obstacles to gratitude and desensitization can actually even happen when you're doing something good for yourself,

Like a gratitude practice.

For example,

Let's say you say to yourself,

Okay,

From now on in the morning,

I'm going to,

Every time I wake up,

I'm going to make a list of five things I'm grateful for.

And you know,

The first time you do it,

It's going to be,

You know,

Very intentional and you're very present.

And then after a week or two or three or four,

It starts becoming a routine,

You know,

And then you start getting gratitude fatigue,

Which can happen.

Right?

So the point is this is where the dancing comes into play,

Right?

All at the dance of life for a reason,

Because it has to have movement.

You know,

Having your routine is great.

And I think you should have a routine,

But allow some deviation.

Once you get these principles,

Once you get all these different habits,

It's less about a rigid enforcement of these habits and more about having them move in your life,

Having them dance in your life.

Right?

So the whole point is what the point is wake up with gratitude.

You know,

I mean,

Okay,

I knocked it,

You know,

It's just like,

Well,

You're so obsessed with,

We're,

We're obsessed with working out,

You know,

And measuring things and,

And how many calories are burned?

How many steps did I do?

Did I get likes on my Instagram photo at the gym?

It's not what this is about.

It's about connecting to movement and being healthy.

Right?

So the same thing with gratitude.

Is it about listing five things and getting your five things in before breakfast?

No,

It's about training the habit to find something to appreciate first thing in the morning.

Now you could do that by making a list.

You could do that by just having a breathing exercise and just becoming present and to the joy and the enjoyment of your breath.

You could do that by simply saying thank you when you wake up.

Right?

So you could do different things.

So be spontaneous,

Allow things to be going with how you feel and intuition and balance that with routine,

Obviously too much spontaneity,

Then you're not going to have anything sustainable and you'll derail.

So it's a dance,

Right?

It's a dance between two opposites.

Now number 11,

Find that little something,

Find that little something.

This is a great one.

And I mentioned this a couple of habits ago,

But this is really just your ability.

That's my cute way of saying be present.

You know,

It's,

It's,

It's finding that little something in your environment and being curious.

You know,

A lot of times people have a hard time,

For example,

Sitting still and meditating or whatever,

Closing their eyes and doing some breathing.

But if you really learn to listen,

It's never quiet.

There's always something humming,

Buzzing,

The world's moving around.

There's little noises,

There's static in your ear.

There's the noise of your breath.

There's the,

The feel of the air coming out of you when you're exhaling.

I mean,

There's so many things to listen to.

And so you aren't going to notice those things.

It goes back to desensitization.

If you are,

You know,

High strung,

High wired,

Your nervous system,

This is also a physiological thing,

Right?

So if you're doing a lot of physically negative things,

Like let's say you're drinking a lot of coffee and whatever,

Staying up late,

Those kinds of things,

The habits that normally will wire your nervous system really high.

You won't notice these finer things,

Right?

So your senses become dulled.

And again,

This is one of the three S's of gratitude is having your,

Your senses being very honed sensitivity is very important because you can tune into finer increments.

The person who can find,

Can,

Can detect finer increments between things is a person that can find gratitude because you can derive a lot more pleasure from a situation than the person who can't see the difference between,

You know,

One increment and another.

Right?

So for example,

You know,

I don't drink wine and,

But you know,

You have people who are like,

You know,

Connoisseurs and sommeliers and they,

They smell so many different notes and images and their brain goes wild with every little piece of,

You know,

Information.

And that to me,

It's a shame that I can't experience that,

You know,

It doesn't interest me enough to go in and learn to do that and hone my senses to be like that.

But my point is,

You know,

That,

That person,

Because of their mastery of their senses in this particular area,

They could drive so much more pleasure out of something that to me is invisible.

Right?

And so that little microcosm of the experience is why you have to be able to train yourself and bring yourself back down,

Bring your nervous system back to a relaxed state,

Learn to see increments so that you can find that little something in your environment and be curious always like,

Huh,

That's interesting.

Every time I walk around my neighborhood,

There's always something that's interesting.

You know,

Live an interesting life.

And I don't mean do crazy stuff or,

You know,

Again,

Be,

You have to be super artsy,

But live an interesting and interested life.

What does that mean?

That means be curious,

Always pay attention,

Look for details,

Raise an eyebrow,

Pay attention to the little signs that cross your path,

Pay attention to the things that are slightly out of the ordinary,

Learn to see increments.

This is how you will cultivate more than just gratitude.

You cultivate curiosity.

You'll cultivate all humility and all these wonderful qualities.

Number 12,

Final habit is fasting.

Fasting is super,

Super powerful.

And it's also something that can be done inappropriately.

So I'm going to offer you a resource here.

It's a free resource.

You can check it out at danceoflife.

Com slash fasting.

I put it,

I put together a podcast episode,

A guide.

And again,

It's also some,

There's a lot of great information in the book,

The gratitude map.

Com.

You can check that out.

But fasting,

It's one of those things that's been time honored for thousands of years,

Obviously.

And there's many physical benefits to it.

There's also many spiritual benefits to it because when you're hungry,

Guess what?

You're in the present moment.

It forces you to pay attention and that right there.

And also you're also not able to satisfy that desire,

Right?

And so there's this element of delayed gratification and patience.

And fasting to me,

That's interesting.

What's interesting about it is that it's a race that you cannot win with more effort.

And so in this sense,

It's not an outcome that you gain with more of anything.

So for example,

Today we in the Western world,

Again,

We're very masculine driven.

And so we,

Okay,

More energy,

More money,

More speed,

Whatever I need to do,

That's more to get the result.

This is the thinking in general.

But with fasting,

You can't affect how fast you do it,

Right?

I mean,

You can choose the time length,

Obviously,

But you know,

There's no,

It's an equalizer.

There's no finish line.

You know,

It's not like you can do faster fasting than the next person.

Everybody's the same.

And so you don't win it with more resources.

You win it with patience,

Which is a very different kind of race,

You know,

Against yourself.

It's a very different kind of outcome and goal.

And so in that little conversation,

You can grow a lot as a person,

But you know,

Check out the guide,

Danceoflife.

Com slash fasting,

Because there's a lot of considerations,

Especially because this involves a physical practice.

So I've included a lot of different things in great research there,

How to do it,

Intermittent fasting,

Periodic fasting,

Some questions to ask yourself,

How to be intentional,

You know,

All this kind of stuff.

So there's a lot of great things.

So go check it out.

And that's about it.

You know,

Number one,

Invest in yourself.

Number two,

Do creative stuff.

Number three,

Go outside.

Number four,

Talk to plants.

Number five,

Pray.

Number six,

Acknowledge others.

Number seven,

Make lists.

Number eight,

Do something.

Number nine,

Reframe.

Number 10,

Be spontaneous.

Number 11,

Find that little something.

Number 12,

Fasting.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this information.

Like I said,

Go check out the book.

It's free,

A lot of great stuff,

Www.

Thegratitudemap.

Com.

If you're interested in fasting,

You can check it out,

Danceoflife.

Com slash fasting.

If you need any help with this stuff or you have any questions,

My email is always open.

You can always email me,

Tutor at danceoflife.

Com.

I'm excited to hear what three habits you're going to pick.

Pick three of them.

Commit to a daily gratitude practice.

And we also have a community if you're interested.

It's the Daily Gratitude Practice Facebook group.

So you can check that out on Facebook.

It's a couple hundred members.

It's going strong.

Really great little group,

Great place to practice and share opportunity to,

Again,

Put it out in the universe what's inside of you.

Don't be shy.

And other than that,

I hope you've enjoyed it.

And like I say always,

Remember that your life is a dance.

So go out there and dance it well.

For more inspiration,

Free resources,

And bonus content,

Stay connected at danceoflife.

Com.

Reviews

Perfect to listen to on my morning walk. Gave me much to think about during and to meditate on afterwards. A definite keeper to play again and again.💞☕️🙏🏽

Thank you so much. I will pick 3 items for gratitude every day.

Completely awesome. Soooo practical & enspiring. Nameste & thank you. Blessings

Thank you.
I took some key notes and will start to practice them.

A great list for including gratitude into my life every day. Thank you 🙏

Excellent points and truly not hard to commit to! Thank you!

I was listening while walking in Rock Creek Park...one of your steps...I was walking a friend's dog, who has basically been abandoned by her human family, including 3 cats she bonded with. She is moping around and I took her on a long walk...I do have a gratitude journal, but I will be more specific. I LOVED THIS TALK. Amazing. I am praying for a lot of things including a new job.Thank you❤

I really love your perspective!!! You are
Giving us very powerful tools to improve our life every day!
I love to found you!!

Great talk! I needed the reminder of creating, and not just in business. Your speaking skills are impressive! Best wishes.

I love your talks!!! My first one was yesterday and it was motivational reflection which I loved and today’s gratitude was just as good 😊 thank you!!!

Amazing podcast! Is there a website or channel I can go to to listen to more talks?

A truly excellent talk on practical methods for actively cultivating gratitude and humility. So glad I came across it, thank you!

This I will return to many times as I continue to grow and appreciate my life and the lives of my sisters and brothers everywhere. I am grateful for this podcast! 💟

Another fantastic talk on gratitude. Thank you for your thoughts!

Very good ! Simple and helpful 🙏🏻 Thanks a Lot . Great talk

Thank you🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻I am always interested to expand my gratitude practice, and it happened🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I’m so grateful for this podcast! Thank you!
Namaste ~~ 🦋💫💜

Excellent advice thank you 🙏🌺🌸🦋

Love this handy list.