You Are Not A Garbage Can For Other People's Negativity

Even if you are empathic and can sense other people's negativity or help them with their emotions, it doesn't mean that you should become a garbage receptacle for their negativity. That's not your role on this planet as a lightworker.

Transcript

Guys,

I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boom Shaka and I welcome you to the Millionaire Heavy podcast.

In this episode,

I want to speak to you guys about boundaries and negative energy,

Particularly because I guess I put myself out there more than a lot of other people do,

Not obviously as much as celebrities but more so than other ordinary people if you want to call it that or commoners if that's the word you want to use.

I do a lot of podcasts and I do a lot of videos and blogging and so I'm always constantly on a daily basis putting my thoughts out there into the universe,

Putting my thoughts out there into the internet world,

Into the webosphere,

The blogosphere,

Whatever you want to call it.

And because of that,

I guess people assume that I am there to be their agony aunt,

I'm there to be their listening ear,

I'm there to be their soundboard and partly that is true.

Partly I do tell people,

You know,

If you have a question,

If you have any suggestions,

If you have any comments,

Message me anytime.

And I do give my email address out very freely and that's it.

There's a reason for it.

I do want to be there for people as much as possible.

I want to be that sounding board for lonely people because there is unfortunately a lot of loneliness out there.

A lot of people have no one else to speak to except for a random person on the internet.

If I can be that random person,

I'm totally happy with doing that for you.

But I've actually noticed that there has been an increased need for me to create boundaries and an increased need for me to protect myself from negative shitty energy.

And I actually told a friend of mine recently in exactly these terms that I am not a garbage receptacle for negative shitty energy.

I just am not.

I refuse to play that role.

Unfortunately,

A lot of people have a lot of negative energy that they want to push out there into the ether.

Now,

Normally when these people have no one else to speak to,

I think one of the reasons they have no one else to speak to is because they're so negative and that's the reason most people are pushed away from them.

But because they have no one to speak to,

They kind of prey on people like me or find people like me to talk to because they need to find someone to push all this negative energy upon because they can't deal with it on their own.

Unfortunately,

That's what they should be doing.

That's the path they should be taking is dealing with that negative energy on their own time within themselves,

Talking to themselves,

Journaling,

Meditating,

And thinking about why they have all this negative energy.

That's the way for them to really truly deal with it.

But that's the harder way to do it.

So most people will just go off and push their energy on other people.

Now,

A lot of these people I'm guessing are doing it unintentionally and not deliberately.

They're not doing it because they want to pull other people down.

They're not doing it because they think that they have negative energy.

They probably think that they're positive people and they're surprised that other people might think of them as negative.

It happens a lot to negative people because they themselves don't see their negativity,

Right?

But as I said,

This happens to me a lot.

A lot of people will message me with really long negative emails explaining all the terrible things that are going on in their life,

How everyone hates them,

How the universe is against them,

How everyone,

Their parents hate them,

Their family hates them,

Their friends hate them,

Or they have no friends,

Or their school teachers hate them because they're trying to put them down,

And all this stuff.

And they'll just pour all of this negativity into an email and send it out to me.

Now,

Because I am an empath and I'm an HSP,

As a lot of you guys probably are if you're reading or watching this,

That I have to deal with this stuff.

It means that I have to read it and I have to engage with that negativity.

What happens as soon as I read an email like that is I feel that person's negativity in my heart,

In my body,

And my spirit instantaneously.

No matter how I was feeling before that,

If I was feeling happy or I was feeling sad or I was up on top of the world or if I was down at the bottom of the world,

Instantaneously I feel crappy because I take upon the qualities of that email which is negative and shitty,

Right?

And that means I've become that garbage receptacle that I don't want to become.

Now,

They're sending all this negative energy and they feel better about it,

You know,

They feel really good about it and they're like,

Oh,

I feel so much better,

I feel like this venting really helps me.

And so they do it over and over and over again.

At certain point,

As I have very strict boundaries with people,

Very,

Very,

Very strict because I've had to build these boundaries over a long period of time because I know people can take really,

Really good advantage of me because I can let them do that to me because I care.

I make sure that I tell this person,

Whoever it might be,

Not to email me anymore.

And I've done that several times through the last few months because I've had a lot of people sending me really,

Really negative energy and I've had to message them saying,

I'm sorry,

Please don't message me anymore.

Do not email me,

Do not message me on Facebook,

Do not contact me anymore because I can't deal with your negative energy anymore.

It's too much for me to take on at this moment in time.

I have other things I want to devote my energy to.

I have a lot of creative work that I want to spend my time on.

I'm sorry,

I cannot deal with your negative energy on top of everything else that I do.

Right?

Now it's funny to me because it takes a lot out of me to even say those words.

Even right now,

Saying it in a podcast episode,

It makes me feel really terrible saying these words out loud.

I feel like such a selfish,

Terrible human being because I think to myself,

This person has no one else to speak to and they're reaching out to me specifically and they need my help maybe or they just need me to listen to them and I can't even do that much.

And that's where I really wanted to bring up the lesson of this whole episode is that boundaries are so important and it's not about the fact that I'm being against that person necessarily.

I'm not doing anything against them.

I'm taking care of myself and that's what a boundary is all about.

We think of it as something impersonal.

We think of it as something against someone.

It's not about that person at all.

It's not about someone else out there.

It's not about your friend or family who you have a boundary against.

It is about yourself.

How do you feel having that boundary?

Why is that boundary necessary for you?

A boundary is all about yourself and your needs and desires.

The boundary that I put against that person who's pushing negative energy on me,

It's not about that person specifically.

It's not about the fact that they're being negative or they're using me as a garbage can for their negative energy.

It's about me.

How do I feel when I have that negative energy come towards me?

I feel terrible.

I feel tired.

I feel exhausted.

I feel negative myself and I feel down.

All of those things result in the fact that I can't give my best to all the other people that require it.

It means that I'm giving all of my energy to this one person rather than spreading it out to all the different people that need it.

It means I get exhausted rather than being able to deal with all the different things that I need to deal with.

It's not the right way of doing things.

It's not right for me specifically.

Another person might be able to deal with that individual very well.

For me specifically,

It does not make sense.

And so boundary is all about us.

It's all about what is it all about for you?

Does it matter for you?

What does it do for you?

It's not about that other person.

You're not going against them in any way.

And that's the reason I really want to remind us of that fact because I know whenever I create a boundary,

I always try not to feel bad about it very much,

As hard as possible.

Usually I do end up feeling bad because you know we are empaths.

I'm an empath and I feel bad that I can't be there for everyone equally.

But I know that if I say no to this one person who's taking up a lot of my energy,

Then I'll be able to give my energy to 10,

20 other people because I have more of it to give.

And that's really important to me.

I want to use my energy and my empathic nature to the best of its ability.

I want to give to as many people as possible rather than just focusing on one person.

That's the reason I don't have a family.

That's the reason I didn't get married or have kids because I don't want to focus all my energy on one person or two people.

I want to spread it out as much as possible.

I want to give to as many people as possible.

And so boundary is all about us.

It's about us making sure that we get our needs and desires met.

Now my need in this specific situation is to make sure that I don't deplete myself by giving to this one negative person.

And so I tell them,

I'm sorry,

I can't.

I cannot talk to you anymore.

I can't have you emailing me anymore.

I'm sorry.

Please don't message me again.

And it's a hard conversation to have.

It's a hard conversation to have for me specifically,

Even though I've done it so many times.

It's still really hard for me to say no.

As soon as I do,

I feel so much better.

I feel so much relief.

I feel so much gratitude.

I feel,

I feel so bad,

So much better about myself because I feel,

Okay,

I don't have to deal with that at least anymore.

And that means I have so much more energy to deal with all of the other things that I'm going to deal with.

And that makes me feel so good.

So that's a good boundary to have.

Sometimes boundaries can be bad,

But mostly boundaries are good because they're creating levels for us.

They're creating intentions for us.

They're teaching us about ourselves because the next time this happens to me,

The next time someone really negative messages me and says,

Oh,

I really want to share all this stuff with you.

I'll be able to say right away,

I'm sorry,

No,

That's not going to happen.

There's way too much negativity in these emails.

I can't deal with it.

Please don't message me again.

And so I'll be able to deal with it faster.

This time around,

Or mostly I don't,

You know,

I'm like,

Okay,

Email me,

Email me,

Email me.

After 10 or 15 emails,

Eventually I'll be like,

Okay,

This is too much.

I can't take it anymore.

So it teaches me now to have clearer boundaries starting out as soon as possible,

Which is really,

Really important as well.

So there's so many lessons in creating boundaries with people,

With the people in your life,

Especially if you are going to be the kind of person who shares a lot in the webosphere.

You know,

If you are the kind of person like me,

Who is doing a podcast,

Who's doing a blog,

Who's doing YouTube videos,

Who's doing a lot of stuff and sharing herself with people,

Sharing herself with the world,

There's going to be a lot of people who are going to want to use you as a garbage can for their negative energy.

And you're going to have to stop them.

You have to switch off that email,

Switch off that conversation,

Close it all off and do not engage with them anymore because it's going to exhaust you.

And that is not the best way to use your energy.

I hope this makes sense to you guys.

It's really important that you guys understand this,

Not only if,

Even if you're not putting yourself out there in social media,

But just in general boundaries with the people in your life,

Your parents,

Your family,

Your brother,

Your sister,

Your friend,

Your partner,

Whoever it might be.

It's really important to set up boundaries and use them as a way of protecting our energy and protecting ourselves from all the negative stuff out there.

If you guys have any questions at all on this subject or other subjects,

Message me anytime.

My email is boomshakha at themillionairehippie.

Com and I shall see you guys in the next episode.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Thanks for this wonderful episode about boundaries !

I definitely appreciate the talk on the subject, boundaries are imparitive but so is having a balance in one's life. There has to be a reprieve from other people's energies and nurture your own self.