Judgmental Mind - Don't Judge The Book By Its Cover

Our mind is always changing. practicing meditation is the best way to understand the nature of our mind. always thoughts are arising, remaining, and disappearing. As a meditation practitioner, it's very important to understand our minds. In this dhamma talk, I'm sharing with you about our judgmental mind.

Transcript

Okay,

Good evening everyone.

How are you today?

Okay,

Happy to see you all and thanks so much for being here.

And before start my little talk,

I want to know,

Do we have any new people today?

Okay,

Please say your name.

Okay,

Welcome to the temple.

Anyone new?

Sorry?

Okay,

Thank you so much.

Welcome to the temple and happy to see you always some new people.

Today before I start my talk,

I have a question for you.

I want to know who can remember that your very first day at the temple?

Who can remember?

Everyone can remember your first day?

Okay,

And still I can remember my very first day as a monk 2002,

July 9th.

We both became monk same day and 18 years ago.

And still I remember my very first day at the temple here 2018.

And so I remember how was I excited and I was because of the new country.

And I want to know how was your feeling before come to the temple or after come to the temple that your very first day?

If you can explain,

If you can tell,

I would like to listen in to you.

Yeah,

And anyone?

Yeah,

And any thoughts?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

I just have to see people again after almost one and a half year ago.

Actually why I ask these questions,

Many times I know many people,

They are really excited to come to the temple and also they are having some,

They are curious.

And many people are telling us sometimes we were walking around the temple and we were driving around the temple,

Then we saw the Buddha and we saw the statue and then we wanted to come to inside.

And then they are explaining us how were they before come to the temple.

And maybe this is your first few weeks at the temple,

Maybe this is your first few months and maybe you are good long time practitioners.

And how you feel now after you come to the temple,

Maybe few weeks,

Few months,

Few years,

How you feel now?

Do you feel something different or is still you are kind of the same person?

Yeah,

And what do you say?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Okay,

Any thoughts?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Actually you know we are young monks but you all have a lot of life experiences than us and we both have different experiences.

And so we learn in different country and different culture and after we came here we had,

We all know if someone come to the new country and we all had a huge cultural shock and because it's completely different and Sri Lanka is a traditional Buddhist Asian country and he is different.

But what I'm always seeing from here,

People they really want to learn and I can truly see it.

People really want to learn and if they really want to learn they are deep into it.

They are very curious and they are learning so much and they are questioning and I can see they are,

People are doing great and you all actually and it is so happy.

Then it always motivate us to teach you something,

To learn something always and actually after I came here I was,

We both were teachers in my monastery and but honestly I felt after I came here with communicating here with people and the same time I'm teaching people also I learn something every time.

So it is very wonderful because it is good to know about myself always same time.

Okay so why I ask these questions,

I would like to talk about today something about our judgmental mind because our mind is always changing,

It is shaking.

So that's why I ask you how you will feel before you come to the temple because I know many people sometimes every Wednesday one of my friend he's a boy and he want to learn about meditation,

He want to learn about practice and every Wednesday he come to the temple and we both go to the iskia and we are talking about different topics and when we go to the iskia around 5 every Wednesday and not today and I can see the people they are gathering for the band there's a miracle event and sometimes they are kind of curious about me and they are kind of observing sometimes I can see about their faces,

Their faces expressions.

I do remember right after I came to here I went to McHenry County College to study more English and after I went to the MCC the same thing happened the students they are kind of curious and they want to know who am I.

Then I do remember in my English class there was a girl she was from Macedonia and one day she asked me are you Muslim?

I said no I'm a Buddhist monk because they are very curious because they don't know who am I.

Then I do remember then right after next week and she asked me I don't know why she asked this question she asked me do you hate a Muslim?

I said no I don't hate them so I don't know why she asked that question maybe they are very curious maybe she learned something about my country or something and those kind of experiences I have in this country but I don't have any bad experiences and when I go outside all these people are really nice and they are really welcoming us whenever we go and then why I'm telling these things we are always judging people how way they look,

How way they dress,

How way they smile,

How way they behave.

I want to know do you do this thing or yeah we are always judging.

So I experienced many life experiences my last 18th year as a monk in Sri Lanka and also in here.

Those experiences taught me so much about these judgments and after we judge someone what we do we are creating stories and we have some thoughts oh he's like this,

He's like this,

He's not a good person we are just judging and because of their experience or because of their behaviors and yeah maybe you have many experiences like same thing same idea.

If you have you can share with me anytime.

Q I work as an gardener so I can talk to one of my coworkers and yeah,

I got a priority Yeah.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

And one day I was sharing the same thoughts with one of the yoga teachers and one of the yoga teachers,

She was organizing a program and this happened after COVID and I was doing that program over the Zoom.

Then I was talking the same topic.

Then after the talk and there was a lady and I had a great experience.

Before I come to this yoga class,

I was judging this yoga teacher so much.

So I had so many thoughts about her.

I was judging,

She's like this,

This,

This.

Then she told me with group,

She shared with group,

Now she is one of the best yoga teachers and now she is my best friend.

But she was judging so much.

That's why maybe you all have heard this beautiful saying,

Don't judge the book by its cover.

You have to read it,

Then you can know this is great book,

This is wonderful.

The same way we have to,

It is okay to judge but we have to understand why this is happening,

Why he's doing this.

So there's a one life lesson,

This happened to me many years ago.

But then after that lesson,

I was thinking I never going to judge anyone.

I was thinking but because of some reason it happened.

But I'm not going to tell what is the exact story.

If I tell maybe you are going to know what happened.

A few months ago,

Almost I think two,

Three months ago something happened in the temple.

Then about one of person,

Not him or one of my brother monks,

This is about someone else.

Then I was kind of judging that person.

Then I was telling one of my friend,

He's like this,

This,

This.

Why he's doing like this?

I was criticizing,

I was telling so many things.

I don't know why I think like that.

So after few days I was able to hear something from that person.

Then he explained why he do,

Why he or she did like that.

I felt so bad about myself.

Then I was thinking why I did like that,

Why I judge that person like that.

I was completely wrong.

I felt so bad that day.

Then I told that person,

Oh my goodness,

I did something so bad.

This is not me.

I did something wrong.

So then I decided I never going to judge anyone anymore.

Because it is not true.

Sometimes maybe you are having the same experiences in your life.

So that's why our mind is always changing.

But it is very important to understand about nature of our mind,

About the thoughts.

So that all the experiences are teaching something to us about daily life.

Sometimes it is not easy to communicate with the people.

But the total,

There are thoughts arising and also remaining and disappearing.

So if we,

When we are practicing this mindfulness meditation and we are going to understand about our thoughts very clearly.

So I knew this thought is not good.

But however I was judging,

Then afterward I figured it out.

Then I felt bad.

Then I decided no,

I'm not going to do this anymore.

Then I know it is not true.

Maybe it is,

If you understand the situation,

If you understand the roots,

Then we are going to correct ourselves.

And that's a really wonderful story I'm always sharing with this story with the people.

I was reading a book,

Actually one of my friends gave me a book.

So that book had a really nice story.

There was a father and son.

One day they were going to different city by train.

And they were in the train and then they were going to the home.

Then in the train,

That son,

He was around,

He was a young boy.

Then he was asking so many questions from the father.

He was asking when he see sky,

Then he ask,

Father what's that?

And he said,

Oh that's the sky,

Oh it's beautiful.

When he see trees,

Then he ask,

What is that?

Oh it's a tree.

This is a palm tree,

This is a mango tree that father was explaining.

Then when he see birds,

Then he ask,

What kind of birds?

He had many questions.

Then people was so surprised because this is very young boy.

Now he is asking about everything.

This is crazy.

Maybe this father he didn't teach this kids,

This son very well.

This father is very bad.

Then people start to judge.

They were judging that father.

Then there was a young couple.

Then they told that father,

I think you should go to meet a doctor.

Maybe your son is having some difficulties mentally.

So why don't you go to visit a doctor?

Then that father told that person,

That two couple.

You know what?

We are visiting from the doctor.

Few days ago,

Few days ago he had a surgery.

It was successful.

When my kid was little,

He got a car accident.

He got an accident.

After that accident,

My wife,

She died.

My son was blind since last week.

He had surgery one week ago.

Last almost ten years,

I was teaching him,

I was explaining about him,

Trees,

Birds,

Sky and cars,

Vehicles,

Everything.

Today is the very first day that he is seeing this everything.

That's why he is asking these questions.

I am so sorry,

But what happening here?

So then that people they were so sad because there was so much judging.

So what I want to share with you,

Maybe you are having these kind of same experiences in your life.

So as a good practitioner,

As I told you,

It is very important to understand those thoughts of a judgmental mind.

So if you know those thoughts,

Then you are never going to judge someone,

Then you are never going to criticize someone because it is not a good healthy thought.

Then what happens if whenever you think about those ideas,

You are getting so worried,

Sad and also you are just creating stories and those are not healthy.

If you have any experiences,

You can also share with me.

Do you have any experiences?

I think judgment or thoughts come up before you even are aware.

Like someone is just passing you in your life.

Where did you get that outfit?

But I find that with mindfulness,

Perhaps,

Or meditation,

I catch myself in the thick of it.

I am not perfect in it,

But I think that since I started meditating,

Especially mindfulness and concentration,

I think there is a lot of tension about what it is.

I remember the first talk I was sitting in and one of the monks said,

And then I got mad.

I was like,

What?

Monks get mad?

Yes,

We get mad.

And he said,

Of course,

I am human.

I get mad.

And I was like,

Oh,

Yes,

That is right.

That was because I put you guys on a pedestal.

We didn't have feelings like everybody else.

We have feelings.

I am like,

You guys are making a feeling.

Especially anger.

I was like,

Oh,

They get mad.

It was very different.

And when you said that,

When we first came here,

Because I have been coming to this temple since it opened up.

Oh really?

So quite a while.

And I just remember those first few Dharma talks,

Like sitting in here and seeing the stained glass and all that stuff.

And too,

When I first got to know Bhante Sujatha,

I was going to a yoga studio and he was speaking there and he would give a Dharma talk there because he didn't have a place.

So it was a big deal with all the things and all the places that I had been associated with the Lord.

Sometimes people are getting misunderstanding about the true world.

Judgment and also investigation.

And sometimes people come and ask,

I have some kind of thought.

Sometimes I am thinking,

I am judging my mind.

Please judgment.

Oh what?

When we have what arise in our mind,

We are thinking,

Oh this God.

What is that?

It is not judge,

Judging.

It is called enunciate.

We have enunciate ourselves.

There are three enunciations we have to do.

We have to enunciate ourselves.

Then also we have to enunciate our thoughts.

First one,

Sorry,

Mind,

Then thoughts.

And also,

Then we have to investigate our actions.

There are three enunciations.

And we talk,

This is your mind,

Your energy,

Thoughts,

All this.

As a monk,

Bhante Arjuna said,

This is our 19th anniversary.

July 9th.

And here,

You know,

Here our thoughts come to our mind.

And in this realm of mind,

That is mind.

If somebody thinks that I want to be a god,

Exactly that person has died.

And this is the thing we have to do.

We have to investigate our mind.

Whatever comes to our mind,

There are three enunciations over the top.

As one just gave over.

In Bhaji goes to the third one is the rising,

Remaining in this appearance.

And when the forces come to our mind,

When we see our thoughts arise in there,

We have to see where our thoughts arise.

It is part of our anger,

It is part of our energy,

It is part of our bad memories.

We have to speak.

We have to focus.

Then we can see that those thoughts,

Those tender thoughts,

Those clear thoughts,

Those bad memories,

Then we know how they remain.

Then immediately we can identify them.

We can focus them.

We have to investigate ourselves.

It is not just learning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it is as he told,

Explore ourself.

Inside meditation it is introspection,

Looking inward.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

I had a long talk,

But this time is almost done.

And I hope you learned something.

Maybe you can discuss this topic maybe another day.

And I really like always talk about this judgmental mind and these thoughts.

And thanks so much for coming and listening to us.

Thanks so much,

Bhante,

For sharing something with us.

And you can always ask any question.

You are free to ask anything.

Don't be nervous.

And please,

You don't have to,

Okay?

You are just open as anything.

And thanks so much and see you next time.

Bye.

Have a good night.

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