My gosh,
It's tough to be human sometimes.
Thank goodness for spaces like this.
Spaces where we can drop down and in,
Where we can breathe and name what's going on inside,
Whatever that might be.
And from there,
We can go along our live light way.
Take a deep breath in,
Let it go.
And fair warning,
This one is salty.
I arrived somewhere early recently,
As I often do.
And as I thought about all the things I wanted to try and do in my life,
A wave of fear washed over me.
Suddenly I was drowning and thrashing in,
Why try?
Why put myself out there again?
I was sure to fail.
Others were sure to think,
Could Betsy please just quiet the fuck down?
While I have always had a lot of drive and energy,
The impulses to live my life to the fullest have become even more insistent ever since I had cancer.
As Hamilton says,
I know this is my shot and I am not going to waste it.
And yet I don't know about you,
But almost every time I put myself out there,
I get afraid of failing,
Of what others will think.
And so as I sat there that day,
Awash in fear about trying these new things,
I decided to pull out a pen and a notebook and I wrote myself a manifesto,
A list of demands.
My hope is that when you feel afraid,
Some of these things might help you too.
Or you can come up with your own.
I'd love to hear yours.
So here's my list.
Number one,
Find yourself some fucking courage.
Even there,
I can't even get it out right.
Find yourself some fucking courage.
The word courage means live from the heart.
And when we live from the heart,
It means we live led by love,
Not fear.
Do you hear?
Love,
Not fear.
Speaking of love,
Number two,
Love the bejesus out of yourself.
Being human is hard.
The world is beautiful and fuck,
Even a piece of paper can slice us open wide,
Literally or metaphorically.
So love yourself.
Please love yourself.
Love yourself.
Number three,
The truth is the only real finish line is death.
In other words,
Yes,
We might finish the dishes or the project or whatever,
But until we breathe our last breath,
Our life will move on.
So quit focusing on being done.
Quit focusing on the product and instead find your meaning in the process.
Find the joy in what you are doing this moment,
Right here,
Right now.
Number four,
Give yourself a fucking sticker for every failure.
In school,
We always got stickers for doing it right,
Right?
Way to go.
Good job,
Champ.
But what about giving ourselves a sticker every time we tried and failed?
In fact,
I might give myself a sticker after this podcast because our meditation or whatever,
Because I'm in a hurry.
I want to get this done because I have somewhere else I need to go and I don't have time to record it and there are all sorts of mistakes in here.
But you know what?
I am here sitting in a sound booth because my closet doesn't work anymore.
So I'm sitting in a sound booth trying and failing and I am putting myself out there and by God,
I tried.
So I'm going to give myself a sticker and I hope you do too.
Every time you try,
Every time you risk,
Every time you dared,
Whatever that looks like for you.
Because our failures are our best indicators of living with courage,
Of intentionally stepping outside of what is comfortable.
Our failures are our best indicators of playing our edges and living as fiercely and bravely as fuck.
And number five,
Meditate.
Repeat,
Meditate,
Repeat.
Because we all need a container for all of this to hold our viscera,
Our tender parts,
The parts of us that are alive,
Alive and so very human.
Oh my God,
Y'all.
Inhale,
Exhale.
Thank you for sticking with me through this one and now I invite you to get out there,
To live with courage,
To be yourself,
To love yourself,
To fail and fail and fail again.
Because you know what?
That's living with courage.
It's living your beautiful strange self.
It's living light so you can shine.
Take care,
Y'all.
