Hey everybody,
It's Alyssa here and something that I wanted to talk about today is responsibility and I wanted to talk about my experiences of how I have had a misplaced sense of responsibility in my life and what brings me to this subject is that for most of my life I thought that it was my responsibility to make sure that everyone was happy,
Make sure that everyone is comfortable,
Make sure I'm doing everything I possibly can to make sure that other person is happy or that I'm not doing anything to make that person upset and I've done that so much in my life as a way of life that I didn't realize how much stress and how much anxiety that was causing me to constantly take on so much more outside of myself and after all of the stress and anxiety had pushed me to my tipping point,
Specifically with this,
I realized that I'm only responsible for my own life and I'm not responsible to take care of other people,
I'm not responsible to make sure everything goes perfect in someone else's day or this or that and I don't need to change and rearrange everything in my life to fully support another person that's just in the situation or another person that's in my life and every time there's been another person in my life or in a situation in my life or something,
My second nature has been to drop everything that I'm doing,
Drop all of my needs,
Even recognize that I have needs,
Drop everything to make sure that other person is going to be happy,
It didn't matter what that was,
I didn't have any second thought about how it was going to affect me,
I just have had this way where,
Yeah,
I drop everything to make sure that I'm going to fully do everything that person needs or to make them happy or whatever and I've done that for so long that I realized I was carrying a lot more that really wasn't mine,
I didn't need to attach myself to,
You know,
Someone else's issues or someone else's sadness or someone else's hardships or someone else's grief,
All these things that I became so worried about everybody else and everybody else's life that I wasn't even thinking about mine or even putting myself,
You know,
On a scale of anything that I needed for me,
I didn't even put that as an option because I thought I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and I realized that sacrificing all of yourself all of the time so you can make sure that someone else is happy,
That's not helping you and it's not helping the other person because that other person needs to figure out how to handle life situations on their own and not have them be so good and perfect and catered to all the time and I got so used to catering to everyone else's needs that that didn't help them learn what they needed to learn because that wasn't my responsibility to be filling that place and then I wasn't learning what I needed to learn about myself because I was already giving all of myself away automatically just to make someone else happy and that wasn't healthy for me and it caused me constant stress and anxiety to be thinking about everything that I could possibly do to make the situation better for another person and I've done that with every single person in my life and I'm only now understanding that I was doing that and I realized yeah you know it's a waste of time to sit here and even worry about somebody else's life or what their life is or what they have to go through like each person has to walk their own path.
I can't walk someone else's path for them.
I can't make it better for them.
Same as no one can walk my path for me and no one can make it better for me.
It is my responsibility to make sure that I make my life what it is and that doesn't mean I need perfect circumstances to do that.
That's not real and I need to understand that other people need to understand that and I need to understand that I can't make it my responsibility to do something that's really not serving the other person's learning experience and is causing me way too much stress and anxiety that I can't you know function properly.
You know so I just have been thinking about this a lot because yeah it's like we can't sit here and worry and feel sorry and care so hard about what everyone else is going through all the time because we're only responsible for our own life and that's true that I'm the only one that can walk my path.
Another person they're the only one that can walk their path.
It's not for me to carry someone else's grief and it's not for someone else to carry my grief.
It doesn't make sense and I feel like you know when there's so many different interactions that happen so many different people and you know and life just keeps going and going that it's easy to take on more responsibility because sometimes we feel pushed into it you know and then if you don't want to make waves then you feel like you have to be this this in this certain way just to make sure that everything's gonna be fine and it's like you know we need to be able to make our decisions for ourselves and accept the outcome that comes with that,
Accept the consequences,
Accept the impact and see what there is to learn in that moment for myself and for whoever else.
That is what needs to be happening because the more you know somebody gets catered to it's not helping them learn and the more that a person is suppressing themselves just to try to make somebody else happy that's not good either so I feel like this tends to be just the cycle of taking on more responsibility you know as a way of life and I feel like you know sometimes it's hard to even see that we're doing it and now that I'm recognizing I've been doing that I have to understand what's healthy for me and I need to put myself in more regard than putting other people on very high regard and not putting myself there at all you know and that's how it's felt all my life and so now I have to establish the self-love and self-care for me now now that there is nothing to hold me back and no one to say you can or can't do this now I have to establish this healthy pattern for myself that will set the tone of all of the relationships in my life and I want to have healthy relationships in my life I want to have healthy interactions and this is just something that I need to understand about myself and the patterns that I've taken on so I can have more peace you know in my interactions and having people in my life and understand what is going to be good for me you know and have the courage to take that chance that I can stand my own ground and have my boundaries and what I need to to say this is what I'm going to do and anyone else can accept it or not accept it they can take it or leave it but I am still gonna be who I am and no one can take that away from me so I'm not going to push myself to the side anymore just to think that everything else matters more than I do I can't live like that anymore and it's just you know really needs to we really need to understand that to support our learning and experience that I need to learn what I need to learn for myself and to make sure my needs get met and other people need to learn what they need to learn for their needs to get met so and we just take the proper responsibility that is just for what we know we're responsible for then things just work out a lot better people get to learn and understand things easier so this is just something that I want to talk talk about today about responsibility and yeah how that's changed my life so thank y'all so much for listening and have such a great day
