This meditation is to support people who are ready to break a trauma bond,
Ready to step back into their power and their urgency,
Ready to reclaim their own clarity,
Their own personhood and their own reality.
Maybe you have a trauma bond with a partner or with a spouse.
Maybe it is with a parent or a sibling.
Maybe it is with a boss or a friend.
Whatever it is,
This meditation can support you to recenter yourself in your own life,
In your emotions,
In your own thoughts and in your own intuition.
It is time to break free of trauma bonds.
It is time to reconnect to yourself and your courage.
Let us begin.
You may close your eyes or soften them down and be lying down or seated.
Let's start by relaxing into this meditation.
Notice your breath and your breathing.
Notice the rise and fall of your chest and the rise and fall of your stomach.
Let the breath go deeper,
Dropping from your chest into your stomach and your abdomen,
Connecting to your diaphragm and your lower ribcage.
Let the breath sink deeper.
Let the breath sink into your hips,
Into your pelvis and into your sit bones.
See if you can inhale into your sit bones.
See if you can inhale into your lower back.
And then releasing,
Exhaling.
Allow everything to just soften on your exhales.
Don't control your exhales.
Let them release,
Let them go.
Don't hold them back.
And then inhale again and let the inhale find your stomach,
Your hips,
And your pelvis.
But don't force it.
Just let the inhales find their way deeper into your body,
Relaxing your muscles and tissues,
Even relaxing your bones.
See if you can imagine your whole skeleton is relaxing.
All of your muscles,
Your fascia,
Your organs,
Your bones.
Everything is softening and slowing down.
Everything is softening and relaxing.
There's nothing to do or for you to take care of.
Your body and your breath are taking care of themselves.
Everything is working as it should and so you are free to be with this meditation,
This time and space.
And this is your time and space and this is your moment.
Take this moment for yourself now.
Allow yourself to relax and be easy.
This is your time and space to break free of trauma bonds.
This is your time and space to return to self,
Self-agency,
Self-autonomy.
Return to clarity and reclaim your truth.
And reclaim your reality.
Take a few more breaths here.
You can relax your face and your jaw as you breathe.
Relax your shoulders.
Relax your sit bones into your chair,
Into your bed,
Into your cushion.
Relax into your breath.
And now in your own time,
Bring to mind a trauma bond that you would like to work on.
Bring to mind the trauma bond or the attachment that you would like to work on.
Maybe you see that person or you feel an immersion about them.
Maybe it is a familiar immersion,
A familiar way of feeling when you think about this person or you're reminded of this person.
Just be curious with it right now.
Whatever's coming up,
Don't make it right,
Don't make it wrong.
And you're not doing anything with it right now.
Just notice that you have this trauma bond in mind,
You have the attachment in mind,
And you are aiming to change this attachment.
You are listening to this because you would like to be with this attachment in a new way,
In a different way,
In a way that serves you,
That serves self.
You would like to be with this attachment in a way that doesn't place you second anymore.
You would like to be with this attachment in a way that doesn't ignore you anymore,
That doesn't ignore your feelings or your instincts or your emotions or your opinions.
You don't want to come second place in this attachment anymore.
You don't want to be trapped in this trauma bond anymore.
It is your right to do that and you have the ability to do that.
Thousands and thousands of people have broken free of their trauma bonds and their traumatic attachments,
And so you can too.
It is okay to claim that for yourself.
It is okay to change the way that you relate to this attachment.
It is okay if you want to live free of trauma bonds and traumatic bonding.
Again,
Don't make what you are feeling right or wrong.
Don't interpret the trauma bond or the attachment,
Just notice it.
Don't judge it,
Just notice it.
Notice how it has been making you feel.
Notice how it has affected your life and your relationships,
Maybe your health.
Maybe it has made you anxious or stressed.
Maybe this bond and this attachment has caused some issues for you in the past or in the present.
Maybe it has caused you confusion and bewilderment in the past or in the present.
Maybe this attachment has caused you to doubt yourself or to not love yourself.
Maybe it has made you feel like you're going crazy at times,
Or like the world just isn't making sense.
Notice all these different things.
We don't need to do anything with the feelings or the thoughts,
Just notice them.
In your own time,
It's okay to take your time with this.
Be patient with yourself,
And be really compassionate,
And be really gentle with yourself.
It's not easy what you have been going through,
And sometimes you've been too hard on yourself.
Sometimes you've forgotten how well you have been doing,
How strong you are,
How mighty.
It is time to remember your power and your agency.
It is time to reconnect with your authenticity,
With your own thoughts,
Feelings,
And opinions,
With your own judgment and instincts.
No more placing another person's above your own.
It is okay to trust yourself.
It is okay to doubt what the other person in the trauma bond says to you.
It is okay to doubt how they make you feel,
And if they make you feel bad,
Or make you feel worthless,
Or make you feel like trash,
Or make you feel crazy,
It is okay to doubt all of that.
It is good to doubt all of that,
Because you are none of these things.
You are not crazy.
You are not worthless.
You are not trash or disposable.
You are not bad.
You are not lazy.
You are not any of the other messages that you've picked up from this trauma bond or this attachment.
However the attachment to this person has made you feel about yourself,
Or made you feel about your feelings,
Notice this.
Notice where you still have doubt about that.
Because if you didn't have doubt about the way it's making you feel,
You wouldn't be listening to this.
So you know there is still power there.
You know that you are still there.
You are still here.
Your authenticity,
Your instincts,
Your ability to protect yourself,
And to protect your immersions,
And your sanity,
And your reality,
And to protect your inner child from this person,
Or from this situation.
You are still here.
You are powerful,
And you are discerning.
So you can do this.
It is okay to reclaim all of this.
Reclaim yourself from this attachment.
Notice that you are in the attachment,
Or you have been in the attachment,
But now it is safe to pull yourself free from it.
It is safe and it is time to pull yourself free from this attachment or bond,
From the confusion and the bewilderment,
From the behaviour of the other person,
From their lies or their dishonesty.
Pull yourself free from their chaos.
Pull yourself free from their emotional unavailability.
Pull yourself free from their inability to meet you.
From their inability to rise to meet you.
From their inability to work on themselves or to take accountability.
It is okay to pull yourself free from this attachment and from this person.
To end the overextending of yourself and your immersions to them,
To end the emotional labour that you have been carrying for both of you,
Or for everybody.
Pull yourself free from the role of caretaker or pleaser,
From the role of emotional support dog,
Or whatever role that you have been playing for them,
Hoping that they might love you one day as you have loved them,
And as you deserve to be loved.
Hoping that they may see you one day as you deserve to be seen.
Hoping that they may meet you one day as you deserve to be met.
Emotionally,
Spiritually,
Physically,
Mentally,
Whatever it is.
Pulling yourself free from this attachment.
Letting the shackles and the hooks that have held you there.
Letting them fall away.
Fall away around your feet.
And letting your soul step free of them.
Because now,
This person doesn't get to be the centre of your universe anymore.
Because now,
This person doesn't get to have free reign over your thoughts and your feelings anymore.
They don't get to control or dictate how you feel about yourself anymore.
They don't get to control or influence how you feel about your self-worth anymore,
Or your self-image,
Your self-esteem,
Or your power.
You get to reclaim all of this from them.
It may feel like being born again.
It may feel like the first day of the rest of your life.
It may feel like you are going to meet yourself,
Your real self,
Your true self,
For the first time in a very long time.
Or maybe for the first time ever.
And we can be excited about that.
We can be excited about who we are going to be,
About how powerful and how incredible we are going to discover ourselves to be,
When we are free.
When we are free of these attachments that drain us,
That try to pull us down and shackle us.
We are not shackled anymore.
It is okay to reclaim ourselves.
It is okay to reclaim our inner child.
It is okay to reclaim a secure attachment to our own soul,
Our own emotions,
Our own thoughts and instincts.
It is okay to reclaim a secure attachment to our hearts.
And to our desire to do good in this world.
And to be loved as we deserve to be loved.
And to be cherished as we deserve to be cherished.
And to be honoured as we deserve to be honoured.
It is ours now to reclaim all of this.
Reclaim autonomy.
Reclaim our own perceptions.
Our own thoughts,
Feelings and opinions.
It is time now to reclaim our truth.
Our personal truth.
That nobody else can shout down.
That nobody else can tell us it isn't real.
It is our truth.
It is how we feel about a situation.
It is how we remember a conversation.
It is how we remember something.
Or know something which happened.
It is our truth and it is ours to be reclaimed.
Our truth always waits for us.
And our truth is always loyal to us.
So let's reclaim it.
And hold it above this attachment.
And know that it is our truth and it is real.
And it is how we feel.
And it is how we want to be treated.
Want to be loved and want to be honoured.
It is our truth and nobody else can confuse us anymore about what it is and what it isn't.
Now if it feels okay,
Listen to these statements and carry them with you.
Or listen to them again any time that you need to.
To support you to let go of this attachment.
And to rise out of this attachment into your power.
Into your clarity and into your truth.
I am healing from this attachment.
I am releasing myself from this trauma bond.
It is safe for me to trust myself.
It is safe for me to trust my own perceptions.
It is safe for me to trust my own feelings.
I will come first in my own life now.
I will come first before this attachment.
I will come first before this person in my life now.
I will come first before this person.
My thoughts and my feelings and my perceptions come first before this person's.
Other people cannot tell me how to feel about a situation.
Other people cannot try to tell me how to think about a situation.
It is safe to trust myself.
It is safe to trust my instincts.
It is okay to be with myself and it is okay to be away from this attachment.
It may take time but it is okay to be a part of this connection.
It may take time but I can be patient and kind with myself as I shake myself loose from this attachment.
Thousands of people,
Millions of people have shaken loose from these kinds of attachments and I can do it too.
We can all do it together.
Everybody listen in to this.
We can get free of these bonds and these shackles.
We can return to self-trust and self-partnership.
We can return to a healthy and secure attachment to ourselves and nobody can take this from us again.
So,
I allow myself to be powerful.
I allow myself to be clear about my feelings and connected to my clarity.
I allow myself grace and compassion as the waves of grief might come and go.
I allow myself deep love and deep patience as the waves of immersions might come and go.
Because it is safe to trust myself.
It is safe to attach to myself.
It is safe to attach to my clarity,
To my reality,
To my emotional depths and to my truth.
It is safe to place my truth over all others and connect to it and trust it and trust myself.
As I allow myself to be powerful and to be in my truth,
It is safe to place myself at the centre of my own life.
It is safe to be the main character in my story.
It is safe to securely connect and bond with myself.
It is safe and it is okay to build a life around myself and around my own needs and desires.
It is safe and it is okay to follow my dreams and reach for my dreams and it is okay to allow myself to dream and to have dreams.
So I connect with myself and I stay loyal to my own truth.
I stay loyal to my own perceptions.
I stay loyal to my own feelings and instincts.
I stay loyal to my own reality and lived experience.
I am the expert of my experience.
I stay loyal to my inner child and I stay loyal to myself.
This is the pathway back to secure attachment.
This is the way back to self-bonding and self-trust and self-partnering.
It is safe and it is okay to be this powerful,
This empowered,
And this clear on who I am and what I want and what I know that I deserve.
I allow myself the time it takes to rebuild this connection to myself.
I allow myself the time it takes to rebuild this connection to my truth.
I allow myself the time it takes to rebuild this connection to my inner child and my deepest feelings and instincts.
I choose myself.
From now on,
I choose myself.
I choose myself.
Take a few more inhales here.
Let it all settle.
Let it all absorb and integrate and integrate.
Celebrate yourself and celebrate your courage.
A few more breaths here.
Taking your time.
Allowing everything to settle.
Again,
You can notice your breath.
Allowing those inhales to reach down into your belly and into your stomach to anchor you into your truth,
To anchor you into your freedom,
To anchor you into this present moment.
In your own time,
You can start to move slowly and gently.
You can open your eyes or start to take more movement.
You can either go to sleep or take some time to transition back into your day and into your next activity.
Taking your time and moving gently.
And then coming back to this meditation again any time that you need to.
