The Power Of Nurturing From The Nine Powers Of Women Book

This is an excerpt of the book The Nine Powers of Women, The Power of Nurturing. The Power of Nurturing derives from the first chakra, the root chakra. It's the power associated with self-care, mothering, and caring. In this short excerpt from chapter one, you learn about the need to become your own mother and the easiest ways to build your power of Nurturing.

Transcript

At that time,

I didn't know about the power of nurturing.

When I discovered the first power that we develop in childhood,

I was in my forties after having too many burnouts.

I lived the roller coaster of being well for a while and then burned out.

When I didn't listen to my body and pushed myself past my limits,

Eventually I found a way to heal the pattern with my inner powers.

The power of nurturing is also called mothering or caring power.

But calling it the power of nurturing helps encompass all of the qualities associated with this power.

It makes it easy for women to identify,

Understand,

And develop the energy that will keep them safe,

Secure,

And nurtured.

In this chapter,

I will also use the word mother often.

The use of the word doesn't only imply the carrying of a baby in the womb or caring for a child.

Today,

Many women have made the conscious decision to not have children.

The power of nurturing is not only about motherhood,

But also about our ability to provide safety,

Security,

And stability to ourselves first,

And then others.

Not necessarily just children.

The first power of women is located in the root chakra,

Which is the energy center area located at the bottom of the spine close to our sexual organs.

It's energized by the color red and the earth element.

Often called the earth chakra,

This energy center is blocked by fear.

When we think of the mother and its most common-sense use of the word,

Mothering abilities are about nurturing,

Loving,

Caring for others,

Transmitting warm feelings of security,

And creating a sense of stability with the help of the wisdom of our ancestors.

We learn to be mothers from our mothers without proper instructions.

The directions from many generations before are inscribed in our DNA.

As we travel to different cultures,

We see the many deviations of the mother archetype we are most accustomed to.

Some will depict a mother breastfeeding,

While others will show a powerful woman at the head of the dinner table.

Some will have the woman with a baby and a briefcase.

Many will have the grandmothers watching over the children while the mother goes to work.

Yet regardless of the mother archetype you subscribe to,

The mothering power is innate,

Always available,

And inextinguishable.

Changes in the nurturing power.

The power of nurturing is born when we are born.

It's usually at its most potent levels at that time.

After all,

Babies can get grown-ups to feed,

Dress,

And bathe them,

Change their diapers,

Play with them,

Cuddle,

And get up in the middle of the night with specific directions.

Yet those babies don't speak a word.

At times they nudge adults with a cry or two,

But that's all it takes to get most grown-ups to quickly respond.

As we grow,

We learn to play with the power of nurturing when we play with our dolls.

We care for them temporarily,

Emulating how our parents took care of us.

We feed them,

Get them new clothes,

Cover them at the end of the night,

And leave them behind somewhere until the next playtime.

At this stage,

Girls are learning about their mothering power.

Most importantly,

They're learning how to mother themselves,

Which is the best use of this power.

As we mature,

Most of us diminish the level and intensity of our nurturing abilities,

But it doesn't have to be that way.

On the contrary,

Our power gains strength when we're able to communicate what we need from others and get our needs met.

The power of nurturing isn't meant to give us fierce independence,

Although misinterpretations can lead to that.

Instead,

It's meant to bring us a balance between asking for support when we need it and taking steps to support ourselves when we're capable.

If we believe it's still someone else's job to give us what we need,

We diminish the power and become dependent.

Most of us tend to do an excellent job asking for what we want until we're about nine years old.

Then,

Because of our conclusions based on the nurturing behaviors modeled for us,

We become either independent warriors who refuse help,

Codependent victims who blame others,

Or good self-nurturing individuals.

Of course,

There are different levels of these three states of nurturing,

But because the nurturing leakage begins after the age of nine,

It would be wise to know where we reside most of the time on the spectrum.

Sometime after our ninth birthday,

We have days when we mother ourselves well and some days when we don't.

We begin to use our brains differently and create new behaviors that are the result of our conclusions about the people,

Things,

And emotions we experienced in those nine years.

Every unconscious decision begins to assert itself.

Depending on the type of parents,

Teachers,

And family members around us and the values they expose to us,

Our decisions will support the development of the nurturing power or diminish it.

The second stage of nurturing.

During the second stage of the nurturing power,

Which begins around their first period,

Women start to play with their power in a different light.

Things get a bit more challenging when we get our first menses.

This is the day when our strong connection with our mothers begins to thin out.

The link is still there,

But nature silently whispers in girls' ears that the next stage of their nurturing begins.

We must start mothering ourselves more consistently.

Most of the complexity has to do with our unconscious mind's notion of change.

The mind doesn't like change.

It wants to protect us from the unknown,

But the status quo is death and the mind needs to expand.

This time is when you see a 14-year-old girl holding a boyfriend in her arms during the day and sleeping with dolls at night.

She might cook for her girlfriends one day and be furious the next day that her parents didn't leave her any dinner.

Some of the challenges come from her mother's reaction to that change.

Many mothers don't want the mother-daughter connection to thin out.

They insist on keeping their daughters young,

Dependent,

And controlled,

Just like their mothers did with them.

Other mothers want their daughters to gain more responsibilities,

Taking some of the mothering off their plates before the child is ready.

Still,

That initial independence codependence will cause mothers to also fear the unknown.

In this state,

Women expand their capacity to nurture themselves and others.

If girls feel safe,

Secure,

And stable,

They can navigate this stage well.

That's when,

On random days,

They choose to go to their rooms,

Have tea,

Or just read a book instead of hanging out with a friend.

They also begin to feel that they have a solid footing in their life.

Girls who don't feel safe and secure and don't have stability early in their lives may have difficulty mothering themselves with nurturing behaviors,

Such as taking a nap,

Drinking water when thirsty,

Finding a quiet moment,

Saying no to friends,

And other simple acts of self-care.

Also,

Girls who have to mother others early in their childhood will have difficulty nurturing themselves.

This is because they're conditioned to mother others first instead of themselves.

It sounds counterintuitive to say that children who mother other children,

And sometimes adults,

Won't learn how to properly mother themselves.

But one of the reasons children mothers struggle to practice self-care is because when the natural nurturing powers are used earlier,

Their power is operated in depleted mode.

A strong fight-or-flight pattern is set.

These grown women are then likely to perceive self-nurturing as a burden because that's what it felt like to them when they had to be mothers to others before they were ready.

This early conditioning will lead them to care for others first and foremost,

Turning them into over-caregivers of others.

Their instinctive reaction when they feel imbalanced,

Uncomfortable,

Or unvalidated is to give.

Although helping others is always a lovely gesture,

Giving to others from that state of depletion is not soul honoring.

It also sounds unfair that children who mother other children and adults would have a perceived disadvantage during their adult years.

At first look,

It may look like a drawback.

However,

When women are able to overcome their early beginnings by balancing their powers,

They have the potential to reach higher nurturing powers than those who aren't.

Let's not overlook the gift children mothers receive by being born into families that need additional care.

Not all is lost.

The great news is that when children mothers reconcile their beginnings,

Realign their nurturing powers,

And reprogram their perception from a burden to a gift,

They become teachers of self-care.

They know the non-self-nurturing behaviors in their bones,

And when they're propelled to the opposite side,

They reach mastery levels of the power of nurturing.

The third stage of nurturing.

The third stage of nurturing power is when we embrace the power of mothering ourselves deeply,

Lovingly,

And consciously first.

We also begin to mother others,

Including our own mother,

With a purpose.

That's how we exercise the power of nurturing.

Some women enter this stage as early as the late 20s,

And others don't reach it until much later.

The process is called conscious self-care.

Some women are great at setting boundaries.

They know how to say,

No thank you,

And when to ask for assistance.

They expand this power by recharging with ease when they're called to give more.

Other women have to learn,

And we all learn differently.

Women awakening to the power of nurturing are taught best by their discontent with life.

The universe constantly shows them what isn't nurturing,

So they can cross challenging situations off their list,

And look for better ones.

Knowing what we don't want helps us know what we do want.

They can also learn from other women,

Classes,

And books.

However,

The problem with learning how to practice the true power of nurturing from other women is that they may only recognize the power in mentors or very close friends.

Otherwise,

The nurturing practices may appear to them as selfish behaviors.

Learning from classes or books is good,

But don't forget that the power already exists inside you.

You really aren't learning,

But simply remembering.

Certainly,

Women who recognize the need to improve self-care can use classes or books as a guide,

But the daily practice of nurturing is the true game-changer.

So,

Include activities in your day that strengthen your power.

One of the best practices of nurturing power is living in joy.

Laugh and honor your spirit effortlessly in the name of happiness.

If something brings you joy,

Say yes.

If not,

Say no.

We also use the power of nurturing when we drink water regularly,

Sleep seven plus hours at night,

Eat a good nutritious meal,

Embrace downtime,

Disconnect from doing things,

And connect with ourselves.

Women building their nurturing powers listen to their emotions and body.

If you are too busy,

You can't hear your feelings and your body.

Another characteristic of this third stage of nurturing is that we don't have complaints.

There is no feeling of victimization coming from those lovely ladies who care for themselves and others without any feelings of burden or obligation.

Of course,

Disappointments happen,

But they don't invest their time in pity parties.

Here are some of the signs that you're growing and exercising your nurturing power.

You feel safe in your home,

Your job,

And your relationships.

You're able to clean the house,

Cook meals,

And take long breaths.

You have the financial resources to pay your bills,

Buy food,

And take time off.

You start earning more money unexpectedly and have more cash left over.

You eat well,

Drink water daily,

Move every day,

And sleep well each night.

Women who practice the power of nurturing are woven voracious energy of self-care and self-love in humanity through the rooms of their lives.

Men and women will be influenced by extraordinary women who care for themselves as a loving and kind mother would.

These powerful ladies build a safety blanket in their homes,

Work,

And communities.

Feeling safe is the key foundation for every beginning.

We teach what we have to learn.

Keep adding to the humanity blanket.

It's calling for cooperation and kindness.