In these few minutes we're going to slow down with an ancient practice called the examine.
You've maybe heard of this before or practice this before and we're just going to loosely explore a variation of this practice looking back and reflecting as well as looking ahead a little bit grounding and checking in.
So I encourage you to get comfortable wherever you're sitting or laying down taking a few moments to check in with your breathing.
You don't need to force a certain rhythm of breathing or slow breathing.
Just let your body breathe naturally.
Checking in with any ways that your body might want to relax or rest or be supported to feel most grounded.
Maybe you want to give your arms and your legs a little bit of a shake before you fully settle in.
Maybe you'd like to stretch your neck or your jaw.
Let out a nice big yawn or a heavy sigh.
Whatever feels most helpful and fitting to settle in for just a few minutes here.
If you'd like you could close your eyes during this exercise or if you prefer you can also draw just in case guided imagery or visualization doesn't really connect for you or you would prefer to draw this externally.
It's whatever your preference is.
But we're going to look back and you can set the time increment that we look back on.
It might be looking back on just today,
Might be looking back on this week,
This month,
Or the season that you've been in.
We're going to explore categories of consolation and desolation.
Now these are defined in different ways depending on who you've maybe practiced and examined with.
In this space we're going to look at these categories really simply as spaces where God has felt near,
Spaces where God has seemed distant,
What our experience of that has been.
And so as you gently look back on whatever time period you'd like to reflect on,
First see what comes to mind.
What are the ways that you have sensed or enjoyed God's nearness?
Maybe this isn't in a fully formulated thought.
Maybe it's more of a gut stirring or gut instinct.
Maybe it's been in a really tiny little detail that you think might not make any sense to anyone else but for you it was really meaningful,
Really significant.
Maybe it's really hard to think of anything and it just feels blank or empty or numb when you try to explore.
Okay,
Where has this consolation been?
And if that's where you find yourself I just want to really gently encourage you to simply notice that.
Maybe place a hand over your heart and or your abdomen and just be present with what it's like to notice that right now.
If you'd like more time to reflect on the ways and spaces you've experienced God's nearness,
You can pause this audio right now,
Take all the time that you need.
Otherwise I invite you to now consider the spaces that have felt opposite to this.
The spaces where you haven't been able to see God.
The sense of I don't see God anywhere.
It doesn't seem that God is near.
It doesn't seem that God cares.
It doesn't seem that God responds and rather than getting caught up in possibly beating yourself up for thoughts or feelings that maybe a critical or judgmental part of you wants to say is incorrect theology or heretical or you know just not the right Sunday school answer,
I really want to invite you to simply notice what are the pains,
The longings,
The wounds that might really appreciate some room to speak.
To see what it's like to hear from their perspective.
Maybe almost imagining the perspective of certain parts of you that really aren't concerned with you know what is the most heady theological correct Sunday school answer here but instead just so longs for their pain to be known and seen and understood.
And if you'd like more time to explore those spaces you can pause this track.
Otherwise we're going to do a little bit of guided imagery before we close.
Just very briefly and I want to be so clear that this is completely optional.
There are nothing in my prompts that are intended to pressure you or make you feel forced into some sort of spiritual integration with this that just doesn't feel authentic or doesn't feel safe.
And so please go not only at your own pace but also be really mindful of what it might be like to almost imagine this space being cushioned with God's kindness and compassion.
That there's no room in this space for harsh unkind judgmental critical voices that we've often internalized from other people and that aren't actually coming from God.
Thinking about how God with us Emmanuel is the embodiment of God's merciful compassion and steadfast loving kindness.
And if you can imagine that kind of cushioned safe space within that I invite you to just be curious about a hypothetical possibility of what might it look like to invite God into the pain the spaces where it seems like you don't see God anywhere.
Just be curious of what might it be like to envision God meeting you there in those places.
God seeing the wounds that you carry that feel unseen and unknown and untended to.
To imagine a very simple God being with you and just noticing if that brings any sort of comfort.
And of course if this elicits anxiety.
If it brings up discomfort or just a sense of this does not feel safe or this feels forced.
Maybe even feeling reminiscent of another time in your life or some sort of spiritual practice was forced on you.
I just want to be so clear and remind all parts of you that you have choices right now.
That none of this needs to be forced.
None of this needs to be pressured.
There's complete space and freedom to simply be curious.
To play with this imagery and to notice what it is that you need for something like this to feel safe.
I'm just taking a few mindful deep breaths.
I invite you to consider if you would like to pause the audio right now to explore this anymore or if you would like to conclude with the audio in the next couple minutes.
Maybe you don't have time right now to explore this more but you can think about a time later today or maybe this weekend or next week when you can come back to this.
Maybe think about it as you go on a walk,
As you sit down and journal.
Anything that feels most authentic to a way that you'd like to engage with any of the thoughts,
Emotions,
Imagery,
Things that just naturally stirred up that you maybe don't know what to do with in this moment.
Whenever you feel ready we're gonna close our time really gently.
Thanking all parts of you for any ways that you engaged in this space knowing that this kind of check-in can be vulnerable.
It can sometimes even be painful,
Feel risky,
Sometimes feel safer to just keep moving through life so fast not slowing down to notice what's happening inside.
So I just really want to honor that,
Really want to honor what's happening inside and that connection with what's happening inside.
You can maybe place a hand or two over your heart or your abdomen.
Then we'll close with three deep breaths that I'll do with you.
Inhale,
Then let out a heavy sigh.
Two more just like that.
With this last one you can really think about exhaling anything that you want to leave here before you re-engage with the rest of your day.
Thank you for joining me.
