So welcome everyone and thank you.
Thank you for listening.
So let's talk today about the vagus nerve.
So positive thinking cannot fix a dysregulated nervous system Cold plunges cannot fix a dysregulated nervous system And humming cannot fix a dysregulated nervous system 5 minutes of slow breathing on a wellness app will also not fix your dysregulated nervous system.
And I'm saying these things up front because if you have tried any of them or all of them,
And felt like a failure when they didn't work?
I want you to know that wasn't your failure.
It was a misunderstanding.
A misunderstanding that the wellness industry has spent the last five years actively selling and that has left a lot of people feeling broken.
When in fact they were just doing the wrong intervention for the right problem.
This talk is about what the vagus nerve actually is.
What dysregulation actually is.
And Mota actually moves a nervous system that's stuck.
And I don't want to be dismissive of any practices that do help.
With the right place with the right framing.
All practices work.
Because clarity in this territory is the difference between five years of trying things that don't work and quietly deciding you must be broken and actually getting somewhere.
So let's start with anatomy briefly.
So the vagus nerve isn't just one nerve,
It's a pair of nerves.
The 10th cranial nerves that come out of the brain stem and wander through the body.
And the word Vegas comes from the Latin for wandering,
Which is what they do.
They go down through the neck.
Into the chest into the abdomen,
And they communicate in both directions between the brain and most of the major organs.
80% of the fibers in the vagus nerve are afferent.
Which means they carry information up from the body to the brain.
And only 20% go the other way.
So when you hear someone say,
The vagus nerve sends signals to your heart and lungs,
Yes,
Technically,
But mostly it's only listening.
It's the body talking to the brain,
Not the brain telling the body what to do.
Polyvagal Theory which is where most of this conversation comes from,
Was developed by Stephen and it describes how different branches of the vagus nerve are involved in different nervous system states.
The ventral vagal branch,
When it's online,
Is associated with safety,
Social engagement.
And the capacity to be with other people without bracing.
And then the dorsal vagal branch in its more extreme activation is associated with shutdown.
The kind of collapse a nervous system goes into.
When the thread is too big.
Or has lasted for too long.
And I want to say something important here.
Polyvagal theory is a model.
It's a useful one.
It has changed how trauma is treated,
And rightly so.
But it's not the periodic table of elements.
The neuroscience of it is debated in academic circles.
And the wellness internet in many cases.
Has taken a contested theory and turned it into a reel.
So when I talk about the vagus nerve in this piece,
I am using polyvagal language because it's the most useful map that we have and I am not claiming that the map is the territory.
Now to dysregulation,
Because this is another word that has a lot of edges.
A regulated nervous system is one that can move flexibly between states.
It can mobilize when there is something to mobilize for it can rest when it's time to rest and it can connect when there's connection available It can also shut down briefly when overwhelmed.
And it can come back online afterwards.
So the defining feature isn't being calm.
The defining feature is flexibility.
So a dysregulated nervous system has lost that flexibility.
It might be stuck in mobilization,
The anxious,
The restless,
The can't-stop person.
Or it might be stuck in shutdown,
The exhausted,
Foggy,
And the disconnected person.
Or sometimes it oscillates between the two in ways that look really chaotic from the outside.
It might appear functional even high performing while running entirely on sympathetic activation that never fully ends So what causes dysregulation?
Why does it happen?
So mostly,
Things that overwhelmed the system before it had the capacity to process them.
Once again,
Things that overwhelmed the system before it had the capacity to process them.
Now developmental trauma,
Acute trauma,
Chronic stress without recovery.
Growing up in an environment where people around you were dysregulated Loss Long stretches of life without rest,
Without safety All of this fits into this umbrella and none of this is in your conscious control.
None of it responds to you telling yourself to think more positively.
And this is the part that has to be said clearly.
Nervous system dysregulation is a physical state.
It's not a moral failure.
It's not a mindset problem.
A physical state held in tissue,
Reflex and pattern that was laid down by events that you didn't choose.
Now this is where the title of this talk earns its keep.
Positive thinking lives in the cortex,
The thinking part of the brain.
It's a top-down process.
You can generate a thought.
You choose to focus on it.
You tell yourself something different from what you were telling yourself before.
And in some situations,
That really helps.
If you're really worried about a presentation that's going to be fine,
Reframing the thought can shift your experience.
And the Cortex is good at this kind of work.
But dysregulation doesn't live there.
It lives in your limbic system,
In the brainstem,
In the autonomic nervous system.
It lives in your tissues,
Literally.
So,
It's the downstream of your thinking brain.
And this is the bit it has priority.
So when your nervous system decides there is a threat,
Your thoughts usually come after.
By the time you're even forming a sentence,
Your body has already decided.
Your stomach is already tight.
Your heartbeat is already.
.
.
Your heart is already palpitating.
And then the thought comes.
So,
When someone with a dysregulated nervous system,
For whatever reason,
Tries to think positive,
Or they are given that advice maybe,
What often happens is one of two things.
Either the thought doesn't land at all It bounces off the body's certainty that things are not okay,
And they conclude they must be doing it wrong.
Or it briefly lands.
You find some relief.
And then the body's state reasserts itself a few hours later.
And you're back where you started,
But this time you have a fresh layer of self-blame with you.
Now the wellness internet broadly has not been honest about this and it has sold positive thinking.
And its more sophisticated cousin manifestation as a nervous system intervention.
They are not.
They might be useful for other things,
But they are not bottom-up approaches.
They don't reach the layer where dysregulation lives.
So,
I want to be fair to the practices.
Some of them have a real mechanism underneath.
They've just been oversold.
So humming,
Tapping,
Singing,
Gargling,
Breathwork,
Exhalation,
All of these things,
They do stimulate the vagus nerve.
The afferent fibers in the throat and the diaphragm respond to mechanical pressure.
A vagal afferent signal goes to the brainstem which can shift the autonomic state slightly towards relaxation or towards parasympathetic activation.
Similarly,
Cold exposure produces a measurable vagal response.
The dive reflex,
Where cold water on the face triggers a slowing of the heart.
It is real and it's very well documented.
Here is the thing.
That nobody on the wellness internet wants to tell you?
The effect is small.
The effect is temporary.
And the effect can only do what it does with a system that is fundamentally capable of regulation.
If your nervous system is acutely dysregulated or there's underlying trauma that hasn't been worked with,
No amount of humming or cold water is going to integrate it.
You will feel a small wave of something.
And then the underlying state with reasserted cipher.
It's like trying to renovate a house with a really nice paintbrush.
The paintbrush is perfectly fine.
The paintbrush works.
And it does what paintbrushes do.
But the wiring is bad.
The foundations are cracked.
And no quality of brushwork is going to fix that.
So maybe we've been sold paintbrushes for a structural problem,
Which is really,
Really good for people selling paintbrushes,
But less great for people whose foundations need attention.
There is a particular kind of suffering that the current vagus nerve discourse has produced,
And I want to name it.
It's the suffering of someone who has been doing the protocols diligently.
The morning breathwork.
The cold shower.
The gratitude journal.
The somatic exercises from the Instagram account.
The vagus nerve toner.
The supplements.
The acupressure.
The Wim Hof course.
And it hasn't worked.
Or it has worked for a week and then it stopped working And sometimes what happens is.
.
.
It works and then the intensity of how it's working,
It stops to slow down.
And then,
What these people conclude,
Almost always,
Is that they are broken.
They must not be doing it right.
That there must be a deeper protocol,
A more advanced practice,
Or a missing piece that they haven't found yet.
So they are not broken.
The protocols were never going to do what they were sold as doing.
The wireless internet has industrialized the symptom and ignored the cause.
Because the cause requires longer term,
Slower recovery.
Work and it does not fit in a 30 second reel.
And I want to say this clearly to anyone listening who has been in that loop,
Because I've been there myself.
You haven't failed at nervous system regulation.
You've succeeded at noticing that the off-the-shelf interventions aren't reaching the layer that needs reaching.
That is simply information.
That's a starting point.
It's not evidence that you're beyond helping.
Let me describe what does,
In my clinical experience and in the research that I trust,
Actually moves a dysregulated nervous system.
None of it is a single technique and all of it takes time.
The first and the most powerful thing is co-regulation.
Being in the consistent presence of a nervous system that is more regulated than yours,
In a context where you feel safe enough to be there.
And this is what therapy provides at its best.
It's what good friendship provides.
It's what some communities provide.
It's not a technique you do alone.
The nervous system was wounded in a relationship and the deepest layer of repair happens in a relationship.
Second,
It's a slow,
Repeated,
Embodied work with specific patterns your nervous system holds.
So,
Noticing where in your body certain triggers land.
Tracking the sensation.
And allowing whatever wants to move,
To move.
In very,
Very small doses that your system can actually integrate without overrun.
And this is possibly where somatic work,
Somatic experiencing,
Sensory motor psychotherapy and similar modalities do at their best.
Very,
Very slow body-led work is sustainable.
And the third meeting the events that created dysregulation.
Not necessarily reliving them.
Because that can be re-traumatizing.
Maybe just finding parts of yourself that have been holding the patent and giving them what they didn't get the first time.
And this is where,
From my work,
I can say Inner Child work helps,
Bards work helps,
IFS helps.
And it's slow work for a reason.
And the fourth,
Which I include,
Because I work with it myself,
Is systemic work.
Looking at patterns that didn't begin with you.
The dysregulation that was already in your family system when you arrived.
The unprocessed grief of a grandparent,
The loyalty to a parent who was themselves dysregulated.
And the things that were never spoken in a family that nonetheless lived in everyone's nervous system.
Now family constellation work makes those patterns visible.
Which is sometimes the missing piece.
The fifth now,
The less glamorous,
But worth saying,
Sleep,
Movement,
Eating enough,
Not drinking too much,
Time outdoors,
And sometimes reducing exposure to overstimulating environments.
And these are not interventions.
These are conditions under which any intervention has a chance of working.
Because without them,
Nothing else will land.
Now I want to come back to the humming and the breath work and the cold water,
Because I don't want to leave people thinking those practices are useless,
Because they are not.
What they are is maintenance.
For a nervous system that has already done the deeper work.
Data top-up They are useful for staying in a regulated state once you have access to one.
They're not on their own going to get you to that state if you don't have access to it.
Think of it like fitness.
So going for a 15-minute walk is really good for you.
And it supports your cardiovascular health also.
It improves your mood.
And it's really worth doing.
But if you have an underlying heart condition that hasn't been diagnosed and treated,
The walk by itself is not going to fix it.
The walk is just part of your healthy life and it might not be a cure for your condition.
So,
Everything works.
Daily vegal practices are good for a healthy life.
But they are not a cure for nervous system dysregulation.
And the problem hasn't been that people do them.
It's that the way they've been sold has obscured the difference between maintenance and treatment.
Since I've spent the last almost 20 minutes telling you what doesn't work,
I want to offer something small that might resonate,
Not as a fix,
But maybe a demonstration of the difference.
So wherever you are right now.
Just settle a little.
Just settle a little bit wherever you are.
Where are your shoulders right now?
Where are your shoulders right now?
Just notice.
Don't drop them on purpose.
Just notice where they are.
Where are your shoulders right now?
Just notice your shoulders.
Yes,
They are.
Nothing has to change.
Nothing has to go anywhere.
Use your jaw right now.
Just notice.
Now,
Your belly.
Just take your attention there.
Is it tight?
Soft?
Held?
Or free?
Just notice.
Do nothing else.
This right here is the layer where the work happens.
Not in your thought about your shoulders,
But in noticing them.
Attention to sensation without trying to fix it is the basic ingredient of all deeper modalities.
And I mentioned that it's not glamorous and it doesn't make a good reel.
It can't be sold as a 30-day challenge.
But this is where the nervous system actually starts to be willing to be seen.
If you do nothing else after this talk,
Practice that.
Just pause several times a day and notice.
Do not fix,
Just notice.
Over weeks and months.
That practice alone will start to shift things.
Not because it stimulates the vagus nerve,
But because it builds the capacity to be present with yourself.
Which is the foundation underneath every modality that actually works.
Now.
If this talk has named something,
You've been suspecting for a while.
I'm glad.
The naming itself is part of the work.
Once you know what you're actually dealing with,
You can stop spending energy on the wrong interventions and start looking slowly for the right ones that work for you.
So be patient,
Be kind.
Be kind to the part of you that has been trying so hard with the tools that you were given to get better.
The part has been doing its best.
And maybe it has more information now.
For now.
.
.
Just stay where you are for another minute.
Notice your body.
Notice your breath.
Notice that next breath.
The simple act of being here.
Just practice that for a minute.
So thank you very much for listening.
And until next time.
Namaste.
